


This Time Around

by Shippingtheswann



Category: Once Upon a Time (TV)
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-03
Updated: 2019-10-03
Packaged: 2020-11-22 22:56:38
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 21
Words: 127,502
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20882039
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Shippingtheswann/pseuds/Shippingtheswann
Summary: Emma is working as a fourth year resident at a hospital when a ghost from her past shows up and throws everything for a loop! Can Emma work through her past feelings and fears and allow Killian back into her life? CS AU





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> A/N: This is a Captain Swan AU – Emma is a pediatric surgeon in her 4th year of residency. Killian is a ghost from Emma's past who shows up unexpectedly. The AU takes place in Northern Virginia – Arlington/Alexandria to be specific. This is my very first fan fiction – so I appreciate any and all comments. As well, thank you to all my Beta Readers (I had three who really helped out! I am so thankful for the feedback you gave me!)
> 
> This story is copied from my FFN account as I don't have the actual physical saved drafts anymore. 
> 
> Disclaimer: I do not own any of the characters. I just borrow them from time to time to play.

Emma started her Wednesday morning rather aggressively – by slamming her alarm and cursing out "Fuck" as she rolled back over. She'd already been awake twenty minutes; her dreams of "simpler times" that were more like nightmares than dreams kept her staring out her window. She knew she deserved more sleep, but knew it would never come. She debated just lying there for a few more minutes, enjoying the relaxation and peace, but in the end, a shower won.

Crawling out of the bed, she made her way to the bathroom. Today was an important day for Emma. Today, she would be performing her very first solo surgery. Today would be the day that Emma finally became the doctor she was destined to be. Today was a day of change.

Looking in the mirror, though, deflated Emma's feelings. She didn't see the face of a doctor. She didn't see the face of someone who was confident enough to _be _a doctor. Her green eyes were tired and dull; her complexion was pasty and lifeless. The woman she was looking at was scared shitless.

In that moment, memories flooded Emma's mind. She remembered college and med school; how she pushed through all the bullshit and stereotypes to get to her dream. No longer could she be the woman who was doubtful. She was a real doctor and god dammit she was going to look like one. Channeling her inner Addison Montgomery, she spoke to herself _you are ready, you got this_. And with that Emma turned on her playlist and got pumped.

She showered and blow-dried her long blonde hair, actually taking the time to look presentable. She'd always been told she was a striking woman, and today, she was going to use that to her advantage. Throwing on a bit of mascara and lip-gloss, she made her way downstairs.

_I look good, confident._

"So, first real surgery today? You exited? Nervous? Hello… Earth to Emma!" called out Regina. She'd been Emma's roommate since freshman year. Emma shook herself from her thoughts, and stared at the raven-haired woman.

"Both. These are tiny humans I'm operating on, but I'm excited. It's weird, I kept having strange dreams last night and I didn't sleep well, yet I feel relaxed. Is that crazy?"

"Not at all. I remember when I first stepped into a courtroom; I almost pissed myself. I had the weirdest dream the night before about my father too. I think it's good to feel that way."

Regina was right. Emma always admired her confidence – and knowing that Regina was one of the most sought after divorce attorneys in the state, helped calm her even more.

Sure Emma was still scared. She was worried she would mess up, but she knew she had this. The little kids she'd be working with had their whole lives ahead of them and she knew that the nervousness would only help her make the right decisions. The feelings that were stewing now were there before – during harder times and she succeeded then. She could succeed now.

Grabbing her things, Emma turned to Regina, "Thanks, I gotta get going. You got Henry today, or is Robin taking him?" Henry was Emma's nine-year-old son, who'd decided to take on the challenge of sleeping away his entire summer break. Each day he decided to see how long he could sleep in 'til. It was the fear she had when she got pregnant with Henry her freshman year that pushed her to succeed. She couldn't believe how far they'd both come since.

"I got him for now, but Robin's going to take him later. You don't have to worry. Go, be a super surgeon and kick ass. You'll be brilliant!"

Emma hugged Regina and rushed out the door. Plugging her phone into her car, she chose her favorite song and drove to Alexandria Memorial Hospital determined and convinced that today would be the day that her life changed for the better.

* * *

Rushing through the doors of the hospital, Emma was overcome with feelings; hope, thrill, urgency, but most of all happiness. All of her senses were on high alert: the hairs of her arms were standing at attention; her heart was racing, and her entire body vibrating from the excitement that she gets when she enters the hospital. The hospital was her happy place. The environment and events that surround a hospital were what gave her life. For her mother, who was a schoolteacher, it was the classroom - the smell of new school supplies, the noise of children on their first day. For her father, a military man, it was the flight line - the sounds of a fighter jet taking off, the vibrations of the engine, the sight of fuel burning. For Emma, it was the hospital – the smell of sterilization, the sounds of chaos, the sight of scrubs. It gave her energy; it was like the air she needed to breathe. She was never more herself than when she was in a hospital.

Ever since she was a young girl, she was drawn to hospitals and medicine. When she got sick at ten and had to have her tonsils removed, she become more obsessed. She remembered telling her mother that day that she was going to be a surgeon. She worked hard to get where she was. She studied her ass off, while keeping a job, and raising a tiny human. Now here she was, a fourth year resident at Alexandria Memorial Hospital, studying under some of the best pediatric surgeons in the world. This was where she belonged. This was home.

Emma was standing at the coffee cart getting her coffee – OK it was more like she was getting her morning caffeine fix that she needed in order to actually function – when she heard the voice of one of her best friends behind her.

"You know that stuff is going to give you a heart attack or an ulcer right? And when it kills you, I will not weep over your coffin." Mary Margaret had been Emma's best friend since they met in elementary school – which is a long time for people like them. They both grew up in military families. Every four years or so, you get a new school, new home, new set of friends, losing the past ones. But through it all, Mary Margaret had been there, refusing to let their friendship die. They wrote back and forth weekly while Emma's family was stationed in Europe then Asia, and Mary Margaret's family moved from Connecticut to California. They would visit once a year, but the letters are what got Emma through the rough patches of middle school and the start of high school. They were finally reunited in the tenth grade when both families were finally stationed in the same city together, right outside of Washington D.C. They begged their families to send them to the same school, and after a lot of begging, they succeeded and got to finish high school together. Those final three years of school were the best of Emma's life. Everything had been perfect.

"Please" Emma said while rolling her eyes "You drink more coffee than me, but you don't hear me bitching. Hopefully the coffee will kill you first and I can finally get my caffeine fix without you mothering me." With a smile on her face she continued, "So, what's up? Shouldn't you be in the weekly meeting of the Cancer Squad?" Mary Margaret shook her head. She is a therapist with the hospital who runs counseling sessions for children suffering from traumas or who have terminal cancer. Normally Wednesday mornings are reserved for the Cancer Squad – a group of eight teens who are almost permanent residents of the hospital – that believed they needed a name and cool t-shirts for their weekly get together. While Mary Margaret hated the name they gave themselves, it was her favorite part of the week and she never missed a meeting; even when she was sick with the flu, she skyped herself in for the meeting.

"Emma you know I hate that name, but yes, I was actually on my way there when I saw you. But first I wanted to say good luck. I know you won't need it, because you are a brilliant surgeon who kicks ass" It was at that point her expression changed. Emma had memorized all of her expressions, and this one was laced with concern and worry. "I also wanted to make sure you were ok, you know, because of what today is."

Only then did it dawn on Emma the significance of the day. No wonder she had been dreaming of high school. It was no wonder that the blue eyes she dreamt about woke her from her sleep in a sweat. It had been ten years since they had all graduated from high school, since the rug was ripped from underneath her; exactly ten years. She had lost the most important person in her life that day. Since then her life had consisted of doubt, fear, disappointment, sadness, paired with lots and lots of Tequila. It was a surprise that Emma didn't realize this sooner. Of course the first time she got to do a true solo surgery would be the day she lost him.

With a small smile, one that was trying to hide the hurt, she replied "Thanks Mary Margaret, but I'm OK. I am finally getting to do what I enjoy, and without the constant eye of my attendings watching me. Sure, it's been ten years, but look how far we've all come. I'm not that girl from high school, I'm OK now." No she wasn't the same anymore, that day had changed Emma forever.

"Alright." Mary Margaret replied. "But, if you decide that you wanna talk, you know where to find me." With that Mary Margaret walked away with her coffee and left Emma to her own thoughts. Emma was thankful she didn't pry; Mary Margaret knows that there is no way in hell that Emma is going to talk about that fucked up night with anyone. It had taken Emma two years just to be able to hear his name without crying or having to leave the room because of a panic attack; three for her to be able to say the name herself. Hell, even two years ago she was still locking herself away at the beach with a trusty bottle of Tequila, a sappy show, and junk food to get her through the memories of that day. She was finally in a place where the memory of him doesn't cripple her. No, she wasn't going to talk about it, and definitely not today. _Today is just a normal day. Today is just a normal day. Today is just a normal day._ She kept chanting to herself as she drank her coffee and headed up for rounds.

* * *

Emma was studying her patient's charts at the nurses' station waiting on her attending. Lillian Donohue was an ten-year-old girl who was admitted last night with pain over McBurney's point. Emma's attending was in the ER when Lillian was brought in by her family. Emma was told by her attending an hour later that she would be performing the appendectomy the following morning, as there were no available ORs that night due to a major trauma that came in right before Lillian. Her last set of vitals were stable and normal. Dr. Ingrid Capshaw, Emma's attending, was a remarkable surgeon. She was the best mentor a girl could ask for; Emma had been doing procedures with her for years and Dr. Capshaw always found a way to include Emma in the procedure, even as an intern. She was the one who felt Emma was ready to finally do a surgery without an attending watching over.

As Emma was reminiscing about her very first surgery as an intern, Dr. Capshaw skated into the station with a giant smile on her face. "Ready Dr. Swan? What am I saying? Of course you are ready. You always are. Let's head over get that appendix out!" Emma loved how Dr. Capshaw never really asked if she was ready to do something. Emma studied her attending as they moved down the hall to room 204. Dr. Capshaw was your typical pediatric surgeon; full of energy and brightness. She was always happy, even when the situations surrounding her were dark and twisty. She was amazing with kids, always knowing what to say and do to help them out. Emma wanted to be just like her. Many people thought they were sisters, what with the matching hair and stature, and Emma wished she could be more like Dr. Capshaw than just her looks.

When they arrived at room 204, Lillian laying on her side, and appeared to be in severe pain. The little girl had gorgeous long brown hair that had the perfect amount of wave to it. But it was her blue eyes that hit Emma hardest. They were the purest blue eyes she had ever seen. Well, second purest. _No Emma, stop that_, she thought to herself. _Now as not the time to be distracted by a pair of eyes_. Lillian's eyes reminded Emma of a pair that comforted her a long time ago, a pair she just recently dreamed about.

"Good Morning Lily, how are you feeling?" Dr. Capshaw asked as she started her examination.

The only response the doctors received was a moan that had hints of pain, but was dripped in annoyance.

All of a sudden there was a shift in the room; Lillian sat up, reached for a bucket, and proceeded to hurl. Emma rubbed the girl's back to help her out. Lillian looked up and the blue eyes Emma was trying to ignore were silently thanking her.

"Worse than last night Dr. Capshaw, it hurts so much more." Lillian's voice sounded soft and tired. Dr. Capshaw palpated the right side of Lily's body when the girl let out a devastating scream. Dr. Capshaw's brown eyes met Emma's green ones, exchanging a silent conversation before Emma yelled for a nurse. Emma wouldn't be doing a traditional appy this morning without an attending present; no, she would be doing an emergency appendectomy. Nurses began rushing in and out of the room, prepping her for emergency surgery and calling down to the OR. Emma felt pain in her left hand. Looking down at Lillian she could now see fear in the little girl's blue eyes.

"Lillian, I'm Doctor Swan, we have to take you to surgery right now and make you better. I will be with you the entire time and when you are done, we will bring you back here for ice cream. Don't worry, I won't leave you and you will feel better once we are done. Just hold on a bit longer." She gave the little girl's hand a squeeze, and with that they were moving.

The ward became chaotic, messy, loud, and intense. Emma and her team, along with Lily who was in her bed crying, rushed towards the elevator at the end of the hallway, passing the waiting room where family members of the children on the floor were waiting for rounds to finish and visiting hours to begin. Everyone is talking, trying to get ready for the impending operation. Emma was pushing the bed onto the elevator when a voice stopped her "Where the bloody hell are you taking here?" The voice started to yell "Lillian…. Lily!" The voice was haunting and familiar. The Irish accent that was contained in the words and its distinct personality has Emma almost falling to her knees. The voice was a voice that Emma believed she would never hear again. She knows the second she turns around she will see someone she hasn't laid eyes on in ten years; a person who will change her normal day into an abnormal one. A nurse ran into her "Dr. Swan, we have to move," they said pushing her onto the elevator. As Emma turned around, the elevator doors began to close as if in slow motion and her eyes narrowed in. Standing in the waiting room with a tear running down his cheek was the person who had haunted Emma's dreams, a person whose blue eyes she dreamt about just the night prior. She sees who used to be the most important person in her life, until they left her at graduation without a word – Killian Jones. Killian _fucking_ Jones.


	2. Chapter 2

EMMA'S POV

She couldn't believe it. _Was that really him? No, it couldn't have been. I am sure my mind is just playing games with me. It's been ten years. It's just my mind playing tricks. I am sure it was just someone who looks like him. It's just someone who looks like him._ _But those eyes, how could someone have his eyes._ _I know those eyes. _Her mind was racing. She tried to convince herself that the past was not coming back to haunt her. Not today, not tomorrow, not ever; she couldn't let that happen. It had taken her years to recover from the loss of Killian Jones and she was not going to let all that work go to waste.

Her thoughts were interrupted by Dr. Capshaw "Doctor Swan…. DOCTOR SWAN! Are you with us? Get it together, we have to save this little girl and I cannot have you spacing out on me. If you can't do this, you have to tell me now!" The ringing of the bell that signals the arrival of the elevator to the surgical floor got Emma moving, and pushed the idea of Killian Jones to the back of her mind. "I'm ready" was all she said.

Scrubbing into surgery, Emma kept trying to push the image that she had seen out of her mind. _OK, so let's just say that it was him. He looks older. There is a bit of grey in his hair now. That's funny since he is only twenty-seven. Those eyes are still the purest I have ever seen, even if they were laced with tears. He seems to look the same, but his expression was pained. Was that because Lillian was taken into surgery? Was it because he realized who I was? Who is Lily to him anyways? Does he have a kid? Why would he have a kid, she's ten; did he have a secret baby senior year that none of us knew about?_ _Why is he here, is he back? What does he want? _Her brain would not stop questioning everything. She was moving like a zombie into the OR when she finally decided to let it go.

_Who cares what happened. It was ten years ago. I am over it. It didn't bother me this morning; it isn't going to bother me now. I am a fucking surgeon, a rock star. _"10 blade" she stated with the upmost confidence and proceeded to remove Lillian's appendix.

KILLIAN'S POV

Their trip was not supposed to be like this. It was supposed to be a present for Lily graduating 5th grade, it was supposed to make up for the past few years of her life. Now here he was, sitting in a waiting room that was plastered with decorations that were supposed to calm children. He hadn't slept at all that night, staying up to hold Lily's hand while he read to her, occasionally wondering the halls praying that she was going to be OK.

The hospital was down the street from his old high school, he remembers driving by it on his way to the ER. Memories come flooding back: blonde hair, green eyes, and a bright smile; weekends spent investigating the city with his best friends; sporting events that turned into long nights with bonfires; summer breaks spent on a boat with the best people he had ever met.

He had been in the waiting room for an hour now; being told that he couldn't go back to visit as the doctors were doing their rounds and visiting hours haven't started yet. He cursed the damn hospital and their bullshit rules. He only wanted to be with Lily. He pulled out his phone and called someone he knew would get him where he needed to be.

"Smee, yes, I need you to get me special access to the pediatric ward at Alexandria Memorial Hospital immediately." He barked.

On the line he heard his assistant start to rattle off some bullshit excuse of how he didn't think that was possible and why he wanted special access.

"I don't care what you have to do, I don't care who you have to fuck or what you have to pay, but you will get me access within the hour, do you understand me? Lily needs me to be with her and I cannot be kept away by some rule. Get it done!" He hung up before he heard a reply. Smee was nosy and always had excuses, but he always seemed to get the job done.

He was returning his phone to his pocket when he heard a commotion coming from the hallway. Time seemed to slow down as a gaggle of people rushed by him. All it took was a flash of brown hair to know that Lily was in the bed and that something had happened. Half a dozen people surrounded her bed and were yelling nonsense, but he did hear "her appendix has ruptured, make sure when you are in there you keep an eye out for any bleeders Dr. Swan." At that name, he focused a bit more, but was unable to see anyone but Lily. He hadn't heard the name Swan in ten years; ten long, painful years. _It has to be my mind playing games. It's just my mind playing games. There is no way that Emma Swan is here, is a doctor, and is about to operate on Lily._

He shook his head to clear his thoughts. The elevator arrived and the team started to move forward. It was with that he screamed out "where the bloody hell are you taking here? Lillian…. Lily!" He hadn't realized that he had begun to cry. A blonde doctor stopped at that exact moment, he hadn't seen her before, but now it's all he could focus on. Thoughts were running crazy inside Killian's head. _I know that hair. I would know that hair anywhere. The gentle waves, the length. _As the elevators began to close the doctor turned around and he saw her for the first time. Emma Swan was standing in the elevator holding Lily's hand, looking like she had seen a ghost. With her name on his lips, she was gone.

* * *

He had been pacing back and forth for what seemed like days. He had tried to get a nurse to fill him in, but they kept telling him they knew nothing, that someone would fill him in soon. _This fucking hospital better not kill her. That doctor who looked like Emma better not kill her This day is a nightmare. That's it. I'm just dreaming. That wasn't Emma. It was just someone who looked like Emma. Hell, at first, I thought Lillian's other doctor was Emma. That's it. It's just me imagining it. But those eyes. Those were Emma's eyes._ As he continued to obsess with the Doctor's eyes his phone went off.

"What the fuck do you want Smee?" Killian cursed into the phone.

"Sir, you requested that I contact the chief of the hospital to see what needed to be done to get you full access to the pediatric floor of the hospital." Killian grumbled, waiting for Smee to continue, with what he hoped was good news. "Sir, we had to donate 2 million dollars to upgrade systems, but you now have full access. Mr. Spencer, board president, should have already contacted the head nurse to grant you access. He also would like to forward his personal cell phone number in case you need anything else."

"Thank you Smee that will be all." Killian grumbled as he hung up his phone. At least that was something; two million was nothing if he could be with Lily. He started off towards the nurses' station as the elevators opened. A flash of blonde made Killian stop and turn. There she was, it was her: he wasn't dreaming, her eyes were staring straight into his soul.

EMMA'S POV

Emma had worked her ass of in that surgery. She was in the zone; she anticipated everything that was going to happen and worked through the operation with precision and utter competence. Scrubbing out, Dr. Capshaw pulled Emma in to a huge hug, congratulating her on the job well done.

"I thought we lost you there for a few minutes. You looked like you saw a ghost. I was worried that I would have to pull you from the surgery. I have never seen you like that Emma. But, you came back and showed us just how miraculous you can be!" she said she as she pulled Emma into another hug.

"Yeah, sorry about that. I thought I did see a ghost. But you know how it is when I step into an OR. It's like everything else just fades away: the worry, the stress, the outside world. It all falls away and it's just the scalpel and me. Nothing else matters. It was exhilarating!" Emma exclaimed. She had never felt so good. Even though Dr. Capshaw had stayed in the OR during the procedure, she never once stepped in and sat in the corner the whole time. _She really trusts me. I can't believe it – I'm a real fucking doctor now!_

"Alright Dr. Swan, let's go tell Lillian's family she made it and will be back in her room soon." Emma followed Dr. Capshaw towards the elevator as the nerves hit her. She kept telling herself it wasn't Killian that she saw. It couldn't be Killian. She was overwhelmed with anxiety. With each passing second, she was getting more nervous. _What if it was him? What if Killian really is here? Why is he here? Who is Lillian? Is he back? Is he going to leave again? _Finally the elevator arrived and Dr. Capshaw began to discuss Lily's post op care as they moved onto the lift.

* * *

The bell rang, signaling the arrival to the pediatric floor. Emma was shaking. She had never been this nervous: not the day she started as an intern, her first real surgery, or the day Henry was born. The day she sent out her med school applications or took the MCAT, she wasn't nervous. But today, right now, she was nervous. Ten years ago Killian Jones walked out of her life without so much as a goodbye, and now she was going to either come face-to-face with him or she was going to find out it was just her imagination. And right now, in this second, she couldn't decide which outcome was worse.

The elevator doors opened and it took Emma less than a second to find the man in question. Moving off the elevator Emma held her breath. His back was facing her, so she wasn't able to tell if it was actually him. Slowly he began to turn around and in an instant they made eye contact. She knew the second their eyes met that Killian Jones was back in her life. His eyes penetrating the walls she had built up to keep out the anger and hurt when he left.

"Mr. Jones, it's good to see you again. This is Doctor…" She began before Killian interrupted.

"Swan" was all he said, as a smile crept across his face.

Emma was standing so still, barely breathing, his eyes never leaving her face.

Dr. Capshaw looked to Emma, then back to Killian. "I see you've already met. Good. Well, we had to take Lily into emergency surgery, her appendix ruptured as Dr. Swan and I were examining her this morning. There was no time to waste. We should have taken her in last night, and I am sorry we are just now getting to correct the problem. With that being said, Lily sailed through the surgery. Dr. Swan did a beautiful procedure and there were no complications. We will keep an eye on her for the next few hours. She will be brought back down to her room in about an hour, and then if all if fine, you can take her home in two days."

Emma knew Dr. Capshaw was talking, but she wasn't hearing anything the good doctor was saying. All she could concentrate on was Killian. He was really here. She couldn't take her eyes off of him, she was glued. Emotions were assaulting her brain – happiness _he's back_, fear _why is he back_, hatred _I'll kill him_, sadness _Gods I missed him, _surprise_ how is he here, how did this happen_. She was at a loss. She was still staring when Dr. Capshaw turned to her. "Dr. Swan, do you have anything else to add?"

Emma stood frozen, not speaking. Dr. Capshaw asked again, but to no avail. Emma couldn't talk, she couldn't move. She didn't know what to do. Emma's attending turned back towards Killian, thanked him and walked off. _Crap,_ Emma thought to herself, turning to leave. She was halfway down the hallway when a hand reached for her arm. She felt the electricity before she felt the touch. She knew whose hand was touching her. She knew she couldn't turn back without breaking down, but she did anyways. She had to face her fears.

"Swan…" She heard the voice say. Still scared to actually look at the face that she used to know so well.

"Killian." The name was like honey. It almost broke her. It had taken her so long to be able to say his name aloud, but she never thought she would have to say the name to him again. Now that she has said it, she couldn't believe it had been so long. The name sounded pleasant and felt right. Looking up into his searing eyes, she suddenly felt peace. Sounds of a video game coming from a patient's room flooded her ears. The peace she just felt was gone, replaced by anxiety and dread. Killian was looking at her exactly how he used to, and it was all too much to handle.

Seeing him after ten years was overwhelming. Immediately she retreated "Sorry." was all she was able to get out before running from the floor, tears streaming down her face.

* * *

Emma rushed across the catwalk when Mary Margaret and David came into view. Emma sent up a silent prayer that her brother and best friend were there. David was a trauma surgeon with the hospital and had been married to Mary Margaret since sophomore year. She needed them now more than ever. Rushing over with tears still in her eyes, David noticed Emma's state and pulled her into his arms. David knew that something really bad had happened to send Emma into an emotional state like this: the perks of being a twin, they always seemed to understand each other too well. Rubbing small circles into her back, he hummed her favorite song, trying to calm her. Finally Emma looked up into familiar green eyes.

"He's here. David, he's here." She kept repeating, her voice small.

David exchanged looks with his wife, both confused as to whom Emma is talking about.

"Who is here Emma? Who?" David asked.

"Him… you know…. He who must not be named?" whispered Emma. That's when David finally understood. Emma had only used the Harry Potter reference once in her entire life... ten years ago when Killian had left after graduation. David tried to talk to Emma about Killian's disappearance and he remembers Emma screaming at him to never mention his name again, that _He who must not be named_ was dead to her.

"Killian? You mean Killian is here in this hospital?" Mary Margaret and David started questioning at the same time, the look of shock spreading across their faces.

"Why is he here? Why does he have to be here today of all days? Why is he here?" She didn't understand it.

"I'm not sure Emma, but I am sure we will figure it out soon." And almost like David's words had magic, Killian appeared out of thin air. "David? Mary Margaret?" Mary Margaret and David started at the man they last saw ten years ago. Emma kept her face buried in her brother's chest. She was so scared that looking at him would send her running again. David began to fume; she could feel his body vibrating with anger. The man in front of him used to be his best friend, was one of the the most important people in his sister's life, and he just left her, left them. Mary Margaret stepped forward, always the one to diffuse situations and calm everyone down.

"Killian? Is it really you?"

"Hello Mary Margaret, you look lovely as always." he said moving towards Mary Margaret to give her a hug. Mary Margaret opened her arms and hugged the man that was still being shunned by the siblings. Mary Margaret was always the one to immediately forgive.

Tension filled the air. No one knew what to say, the silence uncomfortable, but no one wanted to break it. How do you start a conversation you never thought you'd have. A conversation you weren't sure you wanted.

Turning to them Killian started "I am so sorry everyone. I am sorry for everything, but right now I need to see Emma. Emma, please look at me." Emma stayed unmoving. Too worried about how she will react. "Emma, love, please."

His voice sounded broken and it hurt her to hear him this way. At first, she wasn't going to turn around, wanting to stay angry at the man who broke her so many years before, but then she heard him. She heard the pain in his voice. She knew the pain, because it was the exact pain that she felt when he left. She remembers begging the Gods to return him. He was her best friend, and she needed him. She remembers asking everyone what she had done to deserve her best friend leaving her. Then he said the one word that she knew would break her. She was praying he wouldn't say the one word, the one word that she only ever him call her. _Love, _so many times she was called love, so many times, but she never heard him use it for someone else. That word held power. So while she was angry, she was also confused, and decided in that moment that she was going to make Killian Jones explain why he decided to fuck up her life.

Slowly she pried herself from her brother's arms, allowing Mary Margaret to take over so that David didn't step in. It was cliché but at that moment time stood still. She turned to the man who ripped the world from under her feet. This time she really got a good look at him. His brown hair was still the same, wind-blown, disheveled, but in a way that made you want to run your hands through it. His complexion was clear, but with wrinkles that he didn't have before around his eyes. He looked the same though, still Killian. Her best friend was there, but yet, he wasn't, and she could see it in his eyes.

"OK" was all she was able to squeak out, finally holding eye contact, but dropping it a second later. So many questions were racking her head: _Why was he here? Who is Lily? What had he been doing for the past ten years? Why did he leave? Why did he break her heart? If Lily hadn't been admitted to the hospital or if her surgery could have happened last night, would he have tried to find her? Did he ever think about her? Did he know what he was leaving behind?_ _Did he ever really care about her?_

"Love, I am so sorry for the way I left, there is an explanation, one that I do want to tell you, just not here, and not right after you went and saved my sister's life." That got her attention quick and brought her from her thoughts. _Sister!? _Emma felt relieved that he wasn't her daughter, but a sister. She remembered him speaking of a brother, Liam, but never a sister. "You deserve better. I am so sorry for everything Love; please just give me a chance to explain everything. I need to explain, please. I have to explain. Tonight?"

Something moved through Emma when she heard his request – anger. _He_ needed to explain. _That son-of-a-bitch needs to explain. He needs it? I'm the one who deserves an explanation. I'm the one that went through hell_.She decided that she would allow him to apologize and give an explanation, but that was it. She didn't need to get sucked back into the hell that she lived in for so many years.

"Fine, but not tonight; now. You can explain to all of us why you left us. Why you never told us anything. Why you decided that we weren't important enough for an explanation for you leaving. Why you didn't trust us to stick with you. Why you never tried to get in touch with me. Why you never told us you had a sister. Why you lied when you said I was your best friend and you couldn't live without me. Why you made me feel like nothing. Why I wasn't fucking good enough." She hadn't realized she was screaming until she felt David pulling her back. "You can explain now or move your ass along." She was staring daggers into the man. She never expected herself to have that reaction.

Killian looked hurt. Emma stared at him, his expression sad and deflated. She wanted an explanation and she went all ballistic on him. Yes, it felt good and yes, it was pretty badass, but what if she had exploded too hard? She shrunk a bit. She needed to hear what had happened all those nights ago, but she also didn't want to hear it. She was worried that she ran him off the first time and what if she ran him off again by yelling?

"Emma, I am sorry, I was asking to speak tonight because I wanted to check back on Lillian. Please Swan, she is all I have left, I can't abandon her."

"Abandon her? Like you abandoned me?" Emma bit out, immediately regretting her words.

"Swan, please. Let me explain later." Killian was about to add more when Emma stopped him. She couldn't let this continue. She would be seeing him for the next two days while Lily recuperated, and she didn't need things to be any more awkward than they already were.

"Fine. Fine, you can explain tonight. You see that cart over there" pointing to the coffee cart that Emma and Mary Margaret were at earlier in the morning "meet me there at five and you have fifteen minutes to explain to me, then we are done."

* * *

Emma was distracted the rest of the day. Today should have been her day, but of course the universe had to come in and create chaos. She walked through the day in a haze, not really sure how she made it through. She had post op rounds on a few children, but couldn't remember any details. She tried not to check in on Lily, fearful that she would see Killian sooner. Thankfully, another resident offered to cover for her, if Emma would take her on-call shift the following week.

Five o'clock was coming too soon. Emma stretched the minutes out as far as she could: taking extra time changing out of her scrubs, going the long way from the resident's lounge to the front entrance. Yes, she wanted an explanation, but she also was scared that the explanation would be something she couldn't bear to hear. She didn't want to know if she was the reason Killian left. She couldn't be the reason.

Killian was waiting at the coffee cart. She could tell how nervous he was: he kept scratching the back of his neck, a quirk Emma picked up after about a week of knowing him. He was pacing the area, his eyes searched for Emma. Emma took a deep breath and moved towards Killian and the truth.

"Swan, thank you for coming." He started, sounding so formal and distant.

"Get on with it Jones, you have fifteen minutes before I leave, you better not waste them."

Killian had just begun to speak when a voice called out "Mom!" Emma whipped around to see Henry standing a few feet away with a giant smile on his face.


	3. Chapter 3

Emma had never expected Killian Jones to come back into her life. She never expected him to show up when she least expected it. Hell, she thought she would never see him again, and at times she was OK with that. But now that he is standing in front of her, about to tell her why ten years ago he left with no word, no explanation, no reasons, she really didn't care. He had been her best friend, and even though it broke her heart when he left, he still held a place there. It may be a small place, and it may be a place that she never wanted to visit, but he was still there. She needed that explanation.

She looked at her son, who had interrupted what should have been the biggest and most heartfelt apology she would ever receive, and tried to figure out what to say. She wasn't quite sure how to handle the whole situation.

"Henry, what are you doing here? Where is Robin?" She asked, looking around for Regina's husband, who tutored Henry after school and took care of him during the summer.

"He just dropped me off. Roland got sick and Robin didn't want me staying in the house with him. He said he texted you." Henry looked from Emma to Killian, "do you have a date or something? Do I need to call Regina?"

"No Henry, its fine. This is Killian, I used to know him in high school, and we were just catching up." She turned towards Killian, who this whole time had stayed quite, examining the situation. "Killian, this is Henry, my son." Henry walked forward and shook the man's hand. "A pleasure to meet you sir" he said. Emma had always said that Henry was a forty year old stuck in a nine year old's body.

"The pleasure is all mine lad." Killian responded, with a dorky smile.

"Killian, I am sorry, but I should get him home. I know you wanted to talk – to explain, and I'm sorry, but I just can't anymore." Emma said. Killian looked regretful, and Emma took pity. She needed to have an explanation, and even though her son disrupted the first opportunity, Emma was going to hear him out, she owed it to herself. "But, I am free tomorrow morning. I normally get here around six and get my coffee from the cart. So, if that would work, I would be willing to listen. Five AM tomorrow morning." She looked at Henry "Come on kid, let's get you home."

"As you wish" was all she heard as she walked Henry out of the hospital.

* * *

_Ten years ago_

_Today was the day – today was the day that they stopped being kids and started being adults. Today was the day they became responsible for their actions and had no one to answer to. Today was the day they took their lives into their own hands. At least that is what Regina's valedictorian speech said. Emma sat through the ceremony thinking of what was to come. She just had the best three years of her life and now she was off to college with her friends. She was finally going to live the life she wanted. Tonight she was finally going to be fearless._

_The girls packed themselves into Mary Margaret's SUV after rushing home to change for the party. Regina, Mary Margaret, Ruby, Belle and Emma had become the best of friends over the past three years. Emma never knew she would have people other than Mary Margaret to rely on, but when they started sophomore year, the three girls sucked them into their group and have been each other's life lines since. The five of them did almost everything together, from classes to sports, from drama to vacations: the five of them would be glued together for a lifetime._

_The boys had shoved themselves into David's truck a couple hours earlier. Emma knew the move was hard on David and he was worried he wouldn't make any friends, never having what Emma had with Mary Margaret during his younger years. However, within a day, David had his own band of brothers. Robin, David, Graham, Will and Killian were just like the girls – they did everything together. But what no one saw coming sophomore year was that the groups would merge and the ten of them would have a bond stronger than anything they could ever imagine._

_They were headed for their combined graduation party. Emma's parents had rented space on the army base nearby, and the group was ready to start their future. Mary Margaret's parents were helping with the reservations, Regina's parents providing the music with the help of Robin's, Ruby's grandmother was cooking with the help of Graham's family, Will's family was providing the games and activities while Belle's were helping with decorations. Then there was Killian… he had been alone for the past year. He had a hard time going, but was doing better – he was providing the toast for the night. Emma's heart ached as she thought of her best friend._

_Three years ago she locked eyes with a boy she never knew would change her world the way he had. Mary Margaret had always been her best friend, but something in Killian moved Emma. He made her a better person. He pushed when she needed it, comforted her when she was upset, riled her up when she was in a mood and needed a shove out of it. He became the music in Emma's life, giving it meaning and purpose. Emma's feelings for him developed deeper over the years – from friends to something more. She never told him, but tonight that was all going to change. She was going to push her fears aside and tell Killian Jones that he was the one for her._

_She had always been scared to tell him. What if he rejected her? What if she wasn't good enough for him? What if there was someone else he was interested in? What if they harm their friendship? She couldn't lose him. There is no way she would survive not having him in her life. Even though all these thoughts were running through her head, she decided she had to take the leap, love was worth it._

_Arriving to the party, the girls prepared themselves for the night of their lives. Now everyone calls prom the night of nights, but for the five young women, tonight was their night. All the girls were taking the plunge tonight: Regina was going to ask Robin out; Ruby was going to make things with Graham official; Belle was going to tell Will she loves him; Mary Margaret was going to tell David that she wanted to marry him, and Emma was going to tell Killian that she couldn't live without him and that she wanted more than just a friendship._

_However, upon their arrival to the officer's hall, Emma could feel something was off. The magic that should have hung in the air was stale, the lights were too bright, and the sounds were substandard. Emma had a gut feeling that something was going to go terribly bad; she would have never guessed that the bad thing would happen to her. She began to search for Killian, hoping that the feeling in that was starting to dwell in her core wasn't about her, just about the party: we all know that high school parties are notorious for drama. After about five minutes of searching she locked eyes on David: his eyes filled with disappointment and loathing._

"_David, what's wrong?" Emma asked her twin, pulling him into hug her. "What is going on? Why does everyone look like their parents ran over their favorite puppy?"_

_David started rubbing her back, small circles that always comforted her when she was sick or upset. Her head began to spin; David would only do this if something really bad was happening._

_She knew her parents and siblings were OK, she could see them standing off in a corner with the other parents. They didn't look overly upset, so she doubted it had anything to do with that. She spotted their other friends, all of them paired off, Mary Margaret heading over to the siblings._

"_David, what the hell is going on? Graham just said something about Kil…" Mary Margaret started to ask, before David cut her off._

"_Don't say a word Mary Margaret." He looked at her, an unspoken understanding passed between them. Emma thought Mary Margaret was starting to say Killian. Thoughts started to flood her mind, where was Killian, why couldn't she find him earlier, where did he go, was he hurt, was he ok, she kept thinking she had to find him. He would tell her what is going on, then she would tell him her true feelings and everything would be fine._

"_Emma, come with me, there is something I have to tell you." David looked down at his little sister, the people around them becoming quiet. Emma shook her head; she planted her feet, refusing to let her brother pull her away._

"_No, tell me now. Tell me David, what the fuck is going on? Where is Killian?"_

"_Emma, please, just come with me. I will explain everything, I promise, but not here. Please." David's pleading fell on deaf ears. Emma needed answers and she needed them now._

"_NO!" She yelled "Tell me now dammit!"_

"_He's gone Emma. He's gone. We can't find him. Robin went to go pick him up from his place, and all his things are gone. His cell phone is turned off; his car isn't there. We've tried to find him, but we can't. He's gone Emma, he left."_

_Emma stormed out of the hall before anyone could even gather what was happening, she grabbed her purse off the table – with David's keys inside. Killian was gone. He left. He left before she even had a chance to tell him how she felt. She wasn't going to let things end like that. She was going to find him and get him to come back, whatever happened, she would fix it. She had to fix it; he needed to be with her. He had to be with her. He promised he would never leave, he promised it was always going to be them against the world. She had to find him._

_She pulled herself up into the cab of her brother's truck, frantically searching her purse for her phone. She tried everything as she drove down the road towards his apartment. Phone calls went straight to voicemail, texts went unanswered, Facebook was deleted, and MySpace profile was not found. Who does that, Emma thought? Who deletes their whole existence? What the hell was going on?_

_She pulled into the parking lot, one that held so many memories. This was where she they finally opened up to each other after homecoming one year – sitting on the bed of the truck looking at the stars. This was where Emma and Killian had their first fight – she never could understand why he would drive drunk after junior prom and almost killed him that night for doing so. This was also the parking lot where Emma fell in love with her best friend, where she realized the importance of him in her life – after spending a weekend with the group at the beach during summer break, they drove back together discussing college and senior year, and Emma finally comprehended the feelings that she held for him when he hugged her after the trip and told her that they should do this every summer._

_She searched for his car, disappointed that David was right. She ran to the door of his apartment that he had since junior year. She threw herself at the door, demanding it open and what she found inside shattered every feeling Emma ever had. The apartment, which used to hold so much life, was bleak and empty. The barren room was unnerving – ghosts of the past floated around the space, making Emma shiver. She moved through the apartment in a haze, each room looking like the last, until she reached his bedroom. The door was closed, as it always was: he never left it open. She held the handle, feeling the coldness of the knob, knowing when she opens the door; her heart is going to break. She already knows what she will find, yet like a bad movie, she had to keep watching._

_The room was empty, not even a piece of paper on the floor. She fell to the floor in a sob, he was really gone. He had left her with nothing, not even a goodbye. He left her behind, even though he promised to always be there. She started to scream – at the walls, at the windows, at the door; taking out all of her anger at the world on them. Why would he leave her, how could he leave her? When she tired, she tried to getup multiple times, vowing to search everywhere for him, yet the crippling depression of the situation kept her cemented where she lay, with tears streaming down her face._

_David found her like that a couple hours later. He scooped her up and drove her home, where she vowed never to say his name again._

* * *

Emma couldn't believe that she was actually going to sit and let Killian Jones explain why he left. She had vowed to herself in the weeks that followed the fallout from his departure that she would never allow herself to be hurt again that way, and by talking to Killian and letting him back in, she knew she would hurt all over. The walls she built up were crumbling with just a look from him. She had to be stronger, and not just for herself. She now has Henry to think about. The questions that she received as they were driving home were normal, but she was still fearful that if Killian would stay for a while, that they would become close and his leaving would destroy Henry.

She had loved Killian; or at least she thought she loved him. She also hated him. She hated that she depended on him so much that she couldn't function without him at first. In the weeks following graduation she called him at least three times a day, hoping that one day his phone may turn back on and she could beg him to come home. She hated that he made her love him. Yet, she still worried everyday: was he ok, was he happy, did he miss her the way she missed him?

She still didn't understand why she was allowing him to explain. Yesterday, she felt pity: pity for the man whose sister she just operated on, pity for a man who looked so hopeless when he looked at her, pity for the man who she used to call hers. Then when Henry showed up she felt angry: anger for the tears she had cried, anger for the years she spent worried about him when he had been fine all along, anger that he never tried to reach out. But in the end she felt content: yes, she was angry, she had a right to be, but she was also glad he was OK and safe. She was disappointed that he never called or tried to contact her, but she also felt pain because he was hurting, and in the end, he had helped her all those years ago.

With so many emotions flowing through her veins and with so many questions floating around, she walked into the hospital to meet with a man who once held her heart. Killian was sitting at a table with two coffee cups in front of him, looking anxious.

"Good Morning" she stated trying to sound normal. She didn't want him to pick up on how nervous she actually was.

"Swan" her name came out like a sigh of relief. "I am so glad that you came. I got you coffee, I hope that is OK."

She smiled at the offer, "Yes that is OK. Thank you. But let's skip the small talk OK. I have a busy day ahead of me and I would like to know what the hell happened before we get interrupted again." He nodded and took a sip of his coffee; a bit of stubble was starting to grow on his chin.

"First, I want to say how sorry I am that I left the way I did. I never intended to hurt you love, you must know that. You were the most important person in my life, and I never wanted to injure you in any way. It pained me that I left the way I did, but I had no choice. I have suffered every day knowing that I hurt you. It breaks my heart that I was unable to keep you from suffering the way you did. I thought a clean break would be best for the both of us. You were always there for me, and I left when things got hard for me, instead of trusting you. I knew me leaving would hurt you, but I never intended it to damage you so much." Killian's words sank into Emma. She could hear the sincerity in his voice and she knew that he had hurt too, but it didn't make up for the pain that she felt and the grief she felt when he left. "There is an explanation as to why I left, and so abruptly. However, it doesn't excuse my behavior and my actions. Let me start by saying that leaving was the hardest thing I have ever had to do. I never wanted to leave, but I had to, and I couldn't handle everything that was happening, and I couldn't force my situation on any of you. I am so sorry Swan, I am so sorry I hurt you."

Emma was stunned. She had wanted this apology for the past ten years. She had wanted him to say that she was important and that he was sorry he hurt her. Yet, as she listened to him, she was unsure what to feel. All she could do was nod to keep him talking.

"Two days before graduation my father had come to my apartment with a newborn in his arms. You couldn't believe the surprise and shock to see him after so many years of not hearing from him." Emma nodded. Killian had told Emma at the start of their junior year what had happened with his father – his father vanishing during the night, leaving Killian and his brother Liam with their sick mother when they were young. "He showed up, out of the blue. He had a new family: replacing us with a newer, better version. Turns out the newborn, Lillian, was my little sister, her mother married my father a few months after he left us. I was furious, almost kicking him out of my home, but the newborn in his arms changed my mind. My father explained to me that her mother had died a few days before and that he was all she had left." Killian hated talking about his father, only ever talking to Emma that one time about him.

"My father then unleashed the news that would change my life forever. He had stage IV metastatic brain cancer and that he only had a few months at most to live. Love, I had hated my father for years, blaming him for our situation and my mother's passing. I hated the man, but as he told me he was dying, all I could feel was pity and pain. My eyes floated down to my sister, who soon would have no one. I knew that I had to help, that I had to care for her. She was just a baby and didn't deserve the life that was about to be handed to her." Killian's eyes were swimming with tears as he talked about Lily. Emma instinctively reached out to him, hoping to comfort him; yet she pulled back at the last second, unsure what she was doing. "My father asked me to move back to Ireland and take over his business, to care for Lily as if she was my own. At first, I told him no. My place was here, with you, with our group. My place was college and living the life an eighteen year old deserved. However, he told me about some business partners of his. My father had gotten into business with some fucked up people, really fucked up people. He owed money to them, he owed favors. Love, he told me that if I didn't come with him and fix his mistakes, that they would take the consequences out on Lily."

Emma couldn't believe what she was hearing. In her wildest dreams, she never imagined Killian leaving because his father was dying and he had to care for his sister. She had always imagined that it was because of her. Even when things got better, she always thought he left because of her. She was getting too close to him and he couldn't find a way to tell her. She even came up with a story that he was a CIA agent who was being used to collect information – at least that made him leaving feel better; hell that made more sense than him leaving to care for his dying father who was in business with what sounded like the mob.

"I couldn't let Lily suffer because of the mistakes my father made." He continued "I had to help them out. She is my sister Swan; you have to understand that she was my reasoning for leaving, and nothing else. I couldn't let anyone hurt her, she was only a baby. I decided in that moment that I would help. I would go with him, continue his business, pay back his investors properly and then get the hell out. I couldn't tell you, I couldn't tell anyone."

With that statement, Emma found her voice "What do you mean you couldn't tell me? I was your best friend Killian; I would have supported you in anything. I had supported you in everything; I was always there for you. We all would have supported you. Why couldn't you tell me?"

"Love, I wanted to, I really did. I wanted to tell you where I was going and what I was doing; but I knew I couldn't. The people my father did business with were fucked up, and I couldn't let you be exposed to that, to the violence that they were known for. I had heard stories of them beating a man who was late on one payment, then kidnapping his wife until he paid. I couldn't put you in that danger. I knew if I told you what had happened, you would want to come with me, to help me, but that life wasn't for you. You were made for bigger and better things love. I thought it was best for me to just leave, it was cowardly of me, I know, but I needed to make sure that you were safe." With that, he reached out and grabbed Emma's hand. "Emma I never wanted to leave you. This was never about that. I know you would have done anything to help me, and I am so appreciative of that love, but I couldn't ask that of you."

"I had spent all these years wondering why I was never good enough Killian; do you know what that feels like? What it feels like to have the one person you thought you could always count on just leave? Why did you never try to contact me? Clearly, you are OK now, why did you never try to talk to me? Why wasn't I good enough? I have spent the past ten years wondering if you were dead. Ten years. You made that choice for me, just like everyone else in my fucked up life. You didn't even leave me with a goodbye. I knew nothing. You broke me." Emma was beginning to cry, everything was just so overwhelming. She finally knew it wasn't her that ran him off, yet she still felt she wasn't good enough, like she wasn't as important to him as he had been to her.

"Love, look at me." He paused waiting for Emma's green eyes to meet his blue. "I was a child then, dealing with an adult situation in the only way I knew how. You were good enough, and that is why I did what I did. I couldn't keep you safe if you had come with me, and believe me, I wanted you to be with me, you will never know how much I wanted you to come with me, but I couldn't keep you safe, it was I that wasn't good enough love. I am sorry that you felt that way, but I do know what it feels like to lose that one person you could always count on. When Liam died, I died a bit with him; and when I left you, a bit of me died that day too. It took five years for me to be out from under the thumbs of those people my father had worked with, and after that I worked hard to create a company that one could be proud of. During the first five years, I didn't contact you because I was worried of what might happen. During the last five years, I didn't contact you because I was worried of how you might see me; I was worried that I wouldn't be good enough for you." As he finished Killian's eyes hinted at tears.

She couldn't believe that he thought he would never be good enough for her. He was always and good and honorable man, how could he ever not be good enough for her? She wasn't quite sure what to say. _How do I respond to something like that? I can't just say OK, I forgive you. That's too simple for an explanation like that. _She was overcome with feelings, and even thought she was still processing the story that he had just told her, she knew she wasn't angry anymore. _It was never my fault; he never wanted to leave me. _She needed to say something, anything. She felt she needed to apologize to him, for everything he had to go through, for living with the pain all these years. She finally saw that even though she was hurting, he was hurting too. But before she could say anything, he continued.

"Swan, there is more I need to say. As I mentioned, the last five years I have worked hard to turn my father's company around, from the untrustworthy company it was into the company it is today. My father's company works in shipping, something you have always known I have an affinity for, so while I hate the way I came to be in the business, I love doing the job. I was actually in town for two reasons, one being to show Lily where I grew up, and two, because I am looking to expand the company here. I had planned on returning and picking up where my life left off."

"What?" was Emma was able to say, unwilling to jinx the situation and her hope that may come out of his mouth next would be what she wanted to hear him say ten years ago.

"Love, I'm home, I'm not going anywhere."


	4. Chapter 4

EMMA'S POV

"Love, I'm home, I'm not going anywhere."

She could not believe the words that had left his mouth. _Home_. The word sounded foreign. She wasn't sure what he meant: what did home mean for him? She thought that he was her home years ago; she had never felt safer, never felt more alive. Now… now she wasn't quite sure what to feel. She had spent years trying to build herself up again, trying to become the girl she used to be.

"What the hell do you mean Killian?"

"Love, years ago, I had the most amazing life that someone like me could ask for. I had friends who would go to the end of the world for me. I had people in my life who would do anything for me. I had a life that was worth living, and I gave it up. For a while, I was content, I was taking care of Lily. But now that the company is strong and the people my father owed are paid, I am ready to get back to that life, I am ready to get back to what is important to me. " Picking up her hand, Killian looked at her with an expression that told her he wanted his life back, he wanted things to return to what they used to be.

The shock of the confession was wearing off, giving way to an overwhelming sense of confusion. Why would he want to be back? She couldn't understand why if he missed this life – with them – he hadn't contacted her all these years. Sure, he mentioned bad people, but it had been five years, he could have contacted her during those years. She couldn't understand why he wanted to return at all, especially if he thought he wasn't good enough. She had so many questions, yet she couldn't find the words to ask them. A long pause passed between them, her hand still in his. She was confused and conflicted. While his leaving tore her to pieces, and his continued absence was still hurtful, she felt understanding and compassion.

She knew what it felt like to have something change your life in a split second, what it felt like to suddenly have to care for another and put your own feelings and wants on the back burner. That is what Killian had to do with Lillian, and it was what she had to do with Henry. She could understand why he did what he did. She could understand why he kept everything hidden. He always did try to protect her no matter what. She remembered high school, when Killian stood up to Zelena and Hades, a couple who tried to spread harmful rumors about the group. Killian wasn't worried about what would happen to him, he was only worried about the group and how the rumors would affect them, so he took matters into his own hands, and thankfully after the incident, the group was left alone. It was with that memory she was able to speak.

"Thank you Killian." She began, "Thank you for apologizing and thank you for telling me the story. I am not sure if I can say you are forgiven though." She looked into the blue eyes that had been haunting her. They were soft now, still scared, but somehow still inviting. She needed to get her feelings off her chest. "You hurt me, you really fucking hurt me. The night you left shattered me. It took a long time for me to be OK after that. I accept your apology, but I am not really sure where we can go from here. I was broken when you left me Killian. You were the one person I thought would never hurt me, I thought you were the one person that I could count on no matter what. Thank you for explaining to me everything, but some of your reasoning is a load of bullshit and you know it." She withdrew her hand from his. How could he ever think he wasn't good enough for her? He had to have known how she felt about it. She always knew he felt the same about her, at least she thought she did.

"Emma, I know you think they are just excuses, but I was truly just trying to protect you. I was trying to make sure you had the life you deserved." Anger began to pulse through her at his statement. She couldn't believe that he thought that she deserved a life without him in it.

"The life I fucking deserved? Really Killian, you think I deserved a life where my best friend just vanished? You think I deserved a life where I had a piece of me missing for ten years, only for it to show up out of the blue again? Did I deserve a life where I had to go through hell without having my best friend around, because I didn't know where he was? For years I wondered what my life would have been like if you had just stayed, or hell, if you had just kept in touch. I play the what if game constantly because of the shit you put me through." Taking a deep breath she looked at him. He looked wounded. Again, while it felt good to get her feelings off her chest, she was being an asshole about it again.

"Emma, I understand why you are angry. I get it. I spent many a day quite pissed at myself for the shambles I knew I probably left you in, but I really thought you would be happier without me complicating your life. That is partly why it took me so long to come back. I didn't want to complicate your life anymore than it already was. I didn't want to cause you any more harm than I already caused. I truly am sorry love. I wish there was a way I could make the pain go away, but all I can do now is apologize and promise that I am not going anywhere now."

"Why did you come back Killian? Why did you come back here? Did you know we would all be here?" She couldn't bring herself to ask the question she wanted to ask: _did you come back for me?_ She didn't think she could handle the answer.

"I can't really give a good answer. Something inside me just clicked. I knew I had to come back, one day I just woke up and I knew there was nothing for me in London; that I was needed somewhere else. I came back to Alexandria because it was the last place I felt truly at home, and I wanted to give Lily the chance to feel that too. I had hoped you would all be here, but I knew it was a slim chance that everyone would be; but I knew I had to at least try to make everything right again, to get back to where we once were." Emma wasn't really sure what to feel with that confession from him. She was upset that he hadn't purposefully looked for her, yet she was happy that he wanted to come back and make things right.

"OK" She sighed. "I get it Killian. I really do. I am just not really sure where to go from here. I am still really hurt. You left me. I understand you want to make it all right, but I am just not really sure how you are going to do that. The night you left scarred me, I needed you and you weren't there. You walked away from me, from all of us, like we were nothing. Sure, I know now that you didn't mean to hurt any of us, but we didn't know that for so long. For so long I had been carry around this burden, this feeling that you left because of something I did. All I could think about for days was you left right as I was about to…" She trailed off, not wanting make this confession yet. She couldn't let herself make that statement yet; she couldn't let him know that she was desperately in love with him back then. She had no idea what she felt for him now, so there was no way in hell she was going to confess her past feelings, if she couldn't explain her current ones.

"Right as you were about to do what, Love?" His eyes began to sparkle with his question.

"It doesn't matter Killian." She stated as tears began to stream down her face once more, she couldn't look him in the eyes.

"Yes, love, I think it does. I left as you were about to do what?" He reached back for her hand, but she quickly moved it away, reaching to hold her coffee cup instead.

"Right as I was going tell you that I loved you." She whispered. She couldn't believe she said it. She didn't know what had come over her, what made her make the confession. Maybe she was tired of hiding why she was really hurt, why his leaving destroyed her, maybe she was hoping that the confession would force Killian to finally and truly feel that pain she had felt.

"And what about now Emma?" She looked up at his question. She had never seen him look at her the way he was looking at her now. There was something in his eyes that she had never seen before, and she couldn't put her finger on it.

Emma glanced back down at her coffee mug. She didn't know how to respond. She didn't know what she felt. She couldn't tell him that she still loved him, because she wasn't quite sure she did. The man sitting in front of her wasn't the Killian she had fallen in love with, but yet there were moments where he was. She didn't hate him though, and seeing him again made her realize that she never really hated him during his absence either.

"I don't know." She said rising from the table, grabbing her bag. "I'm sorry, I have to go, I'm going to be late." She turned to look at him one more time, and what she saw confused her even more. While he looked broken and hurt, there was a bit of a smile in his eyes, a flicker of hope.

* * *

The day had passed by rather quickly after their meeting. Emma had rounds and a few surgeries that kept her mind occupied. She didn't really have time to think about the look that Killian had when she left him, and she hadn't seen him on the floor during her rotation, so she didn't have to worry about trying to figure out what had transpired between them.

It was on the drive home when her thoughts finally came to the surface. She was happy that he was back, and she was thankful that she allowed him to apologize and to tell his story. She hadn't expected such a confession from him when she first saw him, and to hear that his leaving was due to Lily and him wanting to protect everyone somehow made Emma's heart swell. She really should be pissed at him more, he did break her heart, but for some reason, she wasn't really angry anymore. More than anything she was just worried that he would leave again. He kept saying that he was here to stay, that he was home, but he left once before, and what was stopping him from leaving again? It was with that question that Emma pulled into her parking spot, got out of her car, and walked inside to pour herself a giant glass of wine.

"So, that bad?" Regina questioned when she walked in a moment later, motioning to the open wine bottle and the glass that was sitting in front of her. Emma had told her the previous night over dinner that he had shown up and requested a conversation, and Regina in all her glory, told Emma to tell him where he could shove it.

"Not really." Emma shrugged. "I am just not really sure what do with everything now."

"What do you mean?" she asked as Emma took a huge sip of wine.

"Well, he told me everything: about his father leaving, about Lillian, about why he left and why he left the way he did. I could tell he was sincere in his apology, but I am just not sure where it leaves us. I was so angry for so long, I am not really sure what to feel anymore." Emma replied.

"You can feel what ever you want to feel Emma, just because he apologized, doesn't mean you have to forgive him or let him back in your life. You don't have to be best friends again, but you can if you want to. But you have to decide soon." Emma raised an eyebrow at her statement. "What I mean to say is, you can't let this incident drag you down the way the last one did. You were so broken for so long, and it wasn't good for anyone. You have the truth now, do with it what you will, but don't let it eat at you for so long. Live your life, but don't let the past determine how you live your future. What did you say to him?"

" I told him I accept his apology, but I am not really sure I can forgive him for what he did. I was so angry with him, but at the same time, I felt so bad. I told him how much it broke me when he left, I told him how much pain I was in, the confusion that settled in when he left. I told him I had loved him." Emma looked down.

"Well, that's a start." Regina responded. Emma was again confused by the words Regina was saying. She was supposed to be the one who spoke of reason. The girls in their group always held a specific job – Mary Margaret was the mother, always full of hope and love. Emma was the girl who spoke of adventure but never really followed through, yet was the group's protector. Ruby was the wild child, the one who got into one too many situations. Belle was the bookworm. Regina was supposed to be the one who was practical and quick to judge. She held grudges that were famous for lasting for years, yet here she was, insinuating that Emma telling Killian that she loved him was good?

"What the fuck Regina? How is that a start, its horrible? He says he is back, he says he is sorry, and the first thing that I do is tell him that I had loved him in high school. Please tell me how that is a start?"

"Emma, it's a start because you needed to clear your head. His returning was a surprise, and the anger that you have felt for years was clouding your judgment. By telling him that you used to love him, you removed all the hatred and resentment. Your hatred was so strong because of what he had meant to you, and by telling him that, by clearing the air, you are allowing yourself a clean start with him." Regina finished with a sip of her own wine. It made sense, Emma had felt better about it all, now that all her feelings and thoughts about his departure were out in the open.

"Sure, I can start with a clean slate now, but I guess what I am worried about is, do I even want to? Do I want to open myself up again, do I want to allow myself to let him in again, and do I take a chance that he means what he says, that he won't leave." Emma questioned.

"Only you can answer that Emma, but Killian was a big part of your life, and believe it or not, he still is. Most of the things that have happened to us in the past few years have all been because of what Killian did to us all. It's up to you to determine if you want to let him back in." Regina answered.

"I know, I am just not really sure what I feel. I thought I loved him back then, but did I really, or did I just need him in my life because he was safe and I knew I could trust him. Now though, I am not really sure that I can allow him back into my life, I am not sure I can allow myself to feel again." Emma was harmed too much to simply throw all those feelings she had been having for the past few years away. She couldn't begin to think about how his leaving again may truly break her this time. Could she trust that Killian was here to stay?

"I get it Emma, you know I do. I was in so much pain when you all met me. I had just lost Daniel and I never thought that I could let myself love again. When Daniel died, I swore that I would never be able to love again, that I would never be able to let someone that deep into my life again. Why should I, when all it does is lead to pain and suffering? But, then Robin came along, and he showed me that while it would be a long journey and that I will never truly stop being scared of losing my heart again, it was better for me to take the chance, than to spend my life regretting every moment that could have been."

"Well darling, I never knew you felt that way." Turning around towards the kitchen door, Emma saw Robin leaning against the doorframe, a smirk on his face. He walked over and kissed his wife. "Thank you for taking that chance too, for letting us into your life. Regina is right Emma. I understand that you are worried that Killian will disappear again; I know you are scared to let someone in again, but you owe it to yourself to see if there is still something there. You thought you loved him once, and now life is giving you a chance to see if the love you once felt is still there."

Regina and Robin had both been through so much; sometimes Emma forgot that she wasn't the only one who had suffered. Regina had lost her first love so young, but was able to open herself back up, it took a while, but she found happiness. Robin had been a single father when they returned from college at the ripe young age of twenty-two, his wife had terminal cancer and her last wish was to have a child before she died, so he fulfilled her dying wish. Regina and Robin started to bond and soon started to heal the pain they both had. If those two could get through their suffering, surly Emma could push past the trepidation that she had at allowing someone to get close to her again.

* * *

Later that night, as Emma was taking a bath, she got to thinking about what Killian's return really meant for her. The couple was right; she was getting a second chance to see if what she felt so many years ago was still there. She was getting a chance to confront her anxiety about letting someone in, with a person she had already known, a person who had already hurt her. It didn't make sense, but for some reason, knowing just how much he hurt her the last time, helped her feeling of panic. It was like when you first get hit by a softball. You know its going to hurt, and you are scared of the ball, but once you get hit, you know what it feels like and how much pain you can handle, so you aren't afraid of the ball anymore.

Sinking down into the bubbles a bit more, Emma tried to focus on her feelings for Killian. There were times during their conversation earlier that she saw the boy she had fallen in love with. She could see his compassion, hear his dedication to his family, she could tell that he would go to the end of time to help that little girl. Yet, she also saw something new in Killian. He was no longer the boy she had fallen in love with. He was a dedicated man, hard working, and she was sure he had to be ruthless to be able to get out from underneath the men his father did business with.

When it came down to it, she had to admit to herself that she did still have feelings for him. How could she not? She had spent so many nights worried about him, even after her left. She would always care for him; no matter how much pain he caused her. It may not be a caring that she wanted to admit, but somewhere deep down, she knew that no matter he had done to her, she would always care for the boy that had always cared for her.

She knew she owed it to herself to see if there was still something there with Killian, she knew she deserved to know if what she felt all those years ago was true and if it was still there. The only question is, could she allow herself to see what could happen?

* * *

KILLIAN'S POV

As Killian walked to Lillian's room, his thoughts were heavy with the conversation that just took place. He had wanted to tell Emma what had happened for years, he wanted to tell her the night his father showed up and introduced him to the little girl that would change his life forever. He had wanted Emma by his side, but he knew he couldn't involve her in anything his father did. When his father left his mother so many years ago, Liam had told him that his father was a bad guy, involved with bad things. So even though Killian wasn't sure that he could do this by himself, he knew he could never ask Emma to join him. He had to protect her. He knew that she would never let him go if he told her, so he did the only thing he knew that would keep her from following him: he left without a word.

That day would haunt him for the rest of his life. He never wanted to hurt her, but he knew if he didn't, that she would never let him leave, would never let him do this alone. She was so fiercely protective of her friends would do anything to save them; but he couldn't let her do this. When he packed up his house, every item he touched reminded him of her. He was a broken man from that day on; never really happy, never really content. Then one morning - about a month ago - he woke up and he knew. He knew he needed to go home, and there was only one place - more one person - that was home to him. That day, he set in motion the process of transferring the company to the United States and began to prepare Lily for the trip.

While Killian knew that a clean break would be good for Emma in the long run, he also knew that a clean break would be helpful for him too. If he tried to contact her at all, he knew he would never be able to stay away. He couldn't put her at that risk, not until he knew that she would be safe. He had done the same thing with Lillian. He never let anyone know about her. He couldn't let the people his father worked for get to them. It was hard for him to not look for her, to not look at her social media. The first month he was gone, he would lay in bed, on MySpace or Facebook and he would try so hard not to look to see what she was doing. He couldn't bear to see how happy she could be without him. While he knew his leaving would affect her, he was scared: what if his leaving made her happy? He knew he couldn't bear to see how she was doing.

When he showed up in Alexandria a few days ago, he never expected to find out that Emma was still living in the area, he never expected her to turn up the way she did. However, when he saw her, he felt complete. She was actually there, she was radiant, but she ran. When he finally caught up to her, and begged her to listen to him, he was prepared for a slap and some yelling, but he never would have guessed that she would actually be willing to hear him out. He had hurt her too much; he could see that in her eyes. Then when they were about to talk, her son shows up. _She has a son!_ He couldn't wrap his mind around it. The lad looked like her - he had her emerald eyes and same quizzical expression that she got when something was going on. What had happened in the time that he was gone?

That morning, he finally got to tell her what had happened, how it destroyed him as much as it destroyed her. It was brutal to hear how much she was hurting. He never wanted her to feel that way she felt towards him. How could she think she wasn't good enough? How could he be so stupid in thinking that his absence wouldn't hurt her? How could he have hurt her this way? He was a stupid boy, but now that he was back, now that he found her, he knew he had to make things right. What hurt him the most was hearing her last confession, before she rushed off to get ready for work; she loved him. He couldn't believe it, she loved him. _loved_, he reminded himself. She had loved him, but now, he wasn't sure what she was thinking or feeling. He wasn't sure how she felt. He could see the compassion in her eyes, yet he could feel her anger radiating off her body. He saw the caring, but felt her pain.

Before he could continue with his train of through, he walked into Lillian's room, only to see Dr. Capshaw sitting on Lillian's bed. Curiosity about the doctor's visit replaced his thoughts of Emma and their conversation.

"Oh Mr. Jones, there you are." Dr. Capshaw turned her attention from his sister "I just came by to let Lillian know that she is doing spectacular after her surgery and that her vitals have been stable ever since. As long as she keeps up the good work, she can leave tomorrow."

"Did you hear that Killy; I can go home!" Lillian's statement made Killian smile. His sister was going to be OK, she could leave.

"That's wonderful Lily, absolutely brilliant!" Killian walked over to the other side of Lily's bed, picked up her little hand and sat down. "I am so relieved that you are doing OK. I am sorry I had to be away this morning when you woke, but I am glad that you got good news; thank you again Dr. Capshaw."

"It's no trouble, Lily's an amazing girl!" she said with her smile beaming down at Lily. "I'll leave you to it and check in with you tomorrow morning, and again, as long as everything is normal, she can leave around noon."

Killian thanked the doctor again as she left the room. Looking back down at Lily, he saw that she looked much better. She was no longer sweaty and pale, her complexion was clear and her cheeks were the only rosy things he could see. When they first came over to America, he had just told Lily that they were there for a vacation. He hadn't told her of his plans to move them permanently here, but now was the time to tell her. Smee had been looking at office spaces, and he believed he found a good place about 10 miles from the hospital that he had Killian check out yesterday after Emma had left. It was a good fit and a perfect place for the business, but he now needed to make sure that Lily thought this was a perfect fit for her. He hoped that she would be OK with the move, because he already told Emma he wasn't going anywhere, and he couldn't let her down again.

"Lily, love, I need to ask you something." he started, moving closer to her.

"What is it Killy? Is everything OK?" she sat up a bit more in her bed.

"Yes, everything is OK. However, for a while now I have missed home - and I don't mean London. You know that I grew up here, which was one of the reasons why I wanted to show you the area, but I had another reason for bringing you here. I think we should move here." He finished, looking at Lily's face for any sign that would tell him what she was thinking.

"Really?" was all he got for Lily's response. He couldn't tell what she was thinking.

"Yes, but only if you are OK with it. I know you like your school back home and your friends, but I think that this place could be good for the both of us." He added.

"OK." she piped with a bit of excitement in her voice. "I think I will like it here too. And sure, I like my school, but I want to go to school where you went to school. I want to do the things you did growing up."

Killian was floored with her response. For the second time today, he couldn't believe what he was hearing. He knew Lily wanted to do the things he had done, she told him so many times after hearing of his adventures as a boy here. He used to tell her stories of the last three years he spent here before she went to sleep. She would tell him that she wanted to do all the things he had done. But he never believed she would be OK with moving here. Most kids hate moving, but then again, Lily was not most kids.

"Are you sure sweetie?" He asked.

"Positive! I know you have been unhappy Killy; I can see it in your eyes that you don't like London. I just want you to be happy," She stated, sounding more like a thirty year old than a ten year old. She was so mature for her age, and its days like today that Killian was thankful for her maturity.

"OK then, I will find us a big house and we will move in soon. I will have Smee send all of our things over immediately!" Killian was elated. He couldn't believe that they would actually be living here, that he was actually going to have a chance to make things right. To make things the way they should be.

* * *

EMMA"S POV

Emma's thoughts had kept her up all night. She was known for creating up all sorts of situations in her mind. She thought of a scenario where Killian was only back for a month, then left her shattered again. She created a scene where he was back, but after spending time with him, he wasn't the same person she knew and she didn't like he person she saw. Those frightened her, sending her into a panic. The scene she feared the most though was allowing Killian to get close to her again, only to leave suddenly years down the line, after she began to depend on him again, and after she got close with Lillian and he got close with Henry. It was almost like her fantasy created a family, and then tore it apart. Fear was flowing through her.

She was walking out of the resident's lounge when Dr. Capshaw approached her.

"Did you hear the amazing news?" She asked.

"No, what's going on?" Emma's mind focusing on work and pushing the fear she had aside.

Maybe there would be a surgery she could get in on, or there was a trauma in the ER that she could focus on. Her blood began pumping while she awaited Dr. Capshaw's answer.

"Lillian's going home! Your procedure was amazing. Her vitals are stable, she is producing urine, and she didn't have a post op fever. You are amazing! I am so proud of you." Dr. Capshaw's answer made Emma's stomach drop. Lillian was going home, that meant that Killian was going home. Sure, he had said he was back for good, but they never really got around to what that meant for them. She had run off again, afraid to say anything that would let him back in. Now he may leave the hospital and she would never see him again. The fear that had momentarily disappeared reared its ugly head again, but this time it was fear of never seeing him again that was there. It was the fear that for a second time she would lose him without him knowing how she felt. She didn't know what came over her, but in the seconds it took for Dr. Capshaw to tell Emma they were being discharged, she had decided that she was going to get her second chance with Killian, she owed it to herself.

Not saying anything to her mentor, she turned and ran down the hallway towards Lillian's room, hoping that she would catch them before they left. She needed to see him again. She needed to make things right. It dawned on her that even though there was a chance that he could break her heart again, that he could leave, it was worth it. It would be worth it if they were together even for a little bit. She wasn't scared that he wouldn't want to be with him, at the very least, she needed him back in her life.

"Killian." She blurted out as she ran into Lily's room.

"Swan?" He responded getting up out of the chair he was relaxing in. She let out a breath that she didn't realize she was hold. _Thank the Gods he is still here. He's still here._ "Swan, what's wrong, what's going on?"

She stared at the man she once loved, the man who broke her heart. No longer were her thoughts clouded with judgment and uncertainty; instead she found clarity. "Go out with me."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: So my beta had a question about Robin – some clarification since he is not a major character – he had Roland when he was 22 and all the characters are the same age, which makes Roland about 6. Sorry if it seems a bit rushed with his character, but he is just a supporting character, but I wanted to let everyone know about his and Regina's relationship. Regina never asked him out after Killian left, and he moved onto Marion, and the rest is history.


	5. Chapter 5

KILLIAN'S POV

She came running into the room. She was flustered; her face showed fear, yet when she locked eyes with him, her expression softened - almost like she was glad to see him. He was always glad to see her. The past two days had been heaven to him; the feelings that he once had for his Swan came flooding back every time he saw her.

"Killian!" She exclaimed as she came to a stop in the room.

"Swan?" He said in response as he got out of his seat. Lily was in the bathroom, getting ready to leave. Her rush in worried him a bit, was she worried about her? "Swan, what's wrong, what's going on?"

"Go out with me." She responded. Her voice was breathy and wavered a bit, but sounded so sure all at the same time. He was shocked at her demand, dropping the book that was in his hand. "Go out for dinner with me." She repeated, pulling him from the trance that he was in.

He couldn't believe what he was hearing. Their interaction the prior day had both made him happy and confused. She had used to love him, she was going to tell him so the night of their graduation before he left, but then she said she wasn't sure how she felt anymore. He knew what he felt for her, he had felt it everyday since that fateful night over ten years ago; yet, he never got to tell her. He never was able to get out the words, afraid of running her off and losing their friendship.

"Shouldn't I be the one asking you out?" He questioned. Yes, he was ecstatic that she was asking him out, but he was a little bummed that she was doing it. He had envisioned how he would ask her on a date for years, but upon his arrival back to Alexandria, he never thought he would have a chance to; yet here his Swan was, asking him out. It was traditional Emma though, taking charge.

"Killian." Was all she said with a roll of her eyes.

"Of course love, I accept, on one condition: let me plan the night." He asked. If he couldn't get the chance to ask her, he would certainly get the chance to plan it and make it the best night of her life.

"OK. I get off work at 6, so I should be ready to go at 7." A smile came across her face. She nodded and turned to leave the room.

"See you tonight love." He said, she turned, flashed him a gorgeous smile and left. He was still in awe of what was happening. His thoughts over the last two days had been all over the place. First, he saw her, just a glimpse and his heart leaped out of his chest, then he had found out she had operated on his sister, and he had never felt more nervous in his entire life. When she ran, his heart sank, the way it did when he left her, and all he could think about was getting her back, making her see that he was a better man and that his apology was sincere. When they finally had sat down to have a conversation he was so scared: what if she could never forgive him, what if what he did to her ruined any chance of him being in her life again. He felt a weight lifted off when she accepted him apology, felt horrible when she said she couldn't forgive him right now - actually feeling the pain that she had felt. When she confessed her love, her past love, for him, he felt something he had never felt before. He finally felt at peace, like the world would be right again. She loved him once, she could love him again. He would get her to see just how sorry he was, and he would win her heart again. Yet, she ran right after she said it and he hadn't seen her again.

He had been worried when he woke that morning. Lillian was set to be discharged around noon, and he was hoping that he would get to see her again. Yet, seven came around and he didn't see her in rounds - when the doctors came by with her discharge papers and instructions for caring for his sister once they left. Fear rippled through him: he had promised her he was home and he wouldn't leave, but now that he was about to leave the hospital, he was worried that she would think he was leaving for good. He had planned to take Lily back to the townhouse he was renting, dropping her off with Smee, who arrived that morning from London, and then head right back to the hospital to wait for her. So when she came rushing into the room, a couple minutes before they were set to leave, Killian felt the weight being lifted off his shoulders, it was like he could finally breathe. Now, he was going to get the chance he had waited ten years for. He was going to make everything right again.

* * *

Lily had been sleeping for about an hour, still exhausted from the ordeal that she went through the past few days. Killian had spent the past hour planning for his date that evening - wanting to make everything special. He had amassed a large empire and he was now going to use his connections and money to make the night magical. Emma deserved the best, she deserved everything, and that is what he was going to get her. He was putting together some final details when his phone rang.

"Jones." he bellowed, hoping that it was Smee with conformation that the last part of his date was going to fall into place.

"Bloody hell you wanker, you come back after ten years, see Emma and the Nolans, but forget about me. What the fuck are you thinking?" he heard coming through the speaker.

"Sod off Scarlett." He responded to his old friend, falling right back into their old routine of acting like they hated each other whenever they interacted. He heard his friend laugh at his remark. Will and Killian had bonded during freshman year, being two of the three English students to walk the halls of their school. Robin had rounded out their trio.

"Listen mate, I am glad that you are back, but really, why is it that you see the Nolans first and leave me to hear from Robin that you are home." Will barked. David had joined their group later freshman year, and Will was always a bit jealous of the charming bloke.

"I'm sorry Will, but it has been crazy. I also didn't know any of you were even still in town. I had thought that you all would have left the second you could." Their group had always talked about moving to a much larger city when they could, with a bit more room to grow and get into trouble.

"Don't worry, you can make it up to me by getting your arse over to Southside and buying me a drink." Will said.

Killian looked at his watch. He still had about five hours to kill before he needed to pick Emma up, and he did owe the man. Emma wasn't the only person who deserved an apology and a explanation.

"OK, I'll be there soon." Killian said and hung up.

* * *

Killian arrived to the bar that they used to frequent in high school about twenty minutes later. He was having Smee watch Lily for the night, so a couple more hours wouldn't hurt him. He looked at the bar and tried to remember the last time everyone was in this place. The girls used to waitress here sometimes after school and the guys used to be bus boys. The last time he was here, he came in to see Emma - to give her the graduation present he picked out. It was three days before graduation. His father showed up the next. It was her last night working in the restaurant and he wanted to make the night special. He also couldn't wait to see the look on her face when he presented her with the present.

"Oi, Jones. Over here!" Will's scream pulled Killian from the memory. Will was sitting in their normal spot near the bar. It was a table that was big enough to sit all ten of them. Tonight though, none of the girls would be here, which didn't surprise him: what did though were David, Robin, and Graham. They all stood up and greeted Killian like he had never left. That is what he loved about this group - they never held grudges and if someone did fuck up, which someone did about once a month, the situation was, forgive almost as quickly as it happened.

"What the bloody hell are you all doing here?" Killian questioned.

"Well, Will called us and said that he was able to pull you away, so we thought a nice mini reunion was perfect for tonight." Graham said. Graham was the last to join their group. He came to their school the same time Mary Margaret and Emma showed up, transferring from a school in Pennsylvania. Graham flowed easily into the group, and was the perfect additional to make their little group the complete.

Killian was overwhelmed with how seamlessly he fit back in with his friends. Will started the evening by asking what brought him back. Killian relived the tale he told Emma, explaining to his friends the situation behind his leaving and the secrecy behind it. To his surprise, the group accepted his apology and explanation without any fuss. Killian then learned that they all had stayed pretty close together during the college years. Will going to a community college close to where the rest went to university. All the girls went to uni, and had lived together during the time. Killian knew the girls were inseparable - they had stated many times that they would go to university together and live together. He was glad that they were able to get that dream.

Killian discovered that Belle and Will finally got together during their junior year in college: after Belle had a really nasty boyfriend who tried to ruin the group. Mary Margaret and David had gotten engaged right after he left and they married sophomore year. Robin had gotten married, had a son, and had a wife die all in a couple months, then he found comfort in Regina. Ruby and Graham had been having a fling since high school, and it came to no surprise to Killian that the fling was still going on. The only person who seemed to be truly affected by his absence was Emma. He didn't ask about her, wanting to give her the opportunity to tell her story. David did mention that the summer before college, right after he left, Emma turned into a different person.

"So mate, what are your plans now that you are back? You are back right? I heard Emma the other night talking with Regina and she said that you said you were back." Robin finally asked after a lull in the conversation had happened.

"Yes, I am moving the company over here. I've missed this place, and I haven't felt complete in a long time. I woke up one morning in London and I just knew I had to get back here. I found an office space that I put an offer in on, and now I am just looking for a home to buy for Lily." Killian told the group. David's smile grew wider with his confession. Will and Robin both let out the breaths they were holding. Graham was the only one to speak.

"Thank God. It's about time you realized that you needed to come home." He said.

"It is, now I just have to make sure that Emma knows that I am here for good. That I am not going to leave again. I hurt her so bad when I left, and I couldn't bear it to hurt her again." Killian's confession got a response from David.

"Killian, you know I am glad that you are back. But I am going to warn you, if you do anything to hurt my sister again. I swear to the Gods, I will harm you more than you ever think you harmed her. She has been through so much shit since you left, and I will not let anything else cause her pain. I know that you are sorry, but it takes more than being sorry to make up for what you did." David's response was nothing but the truth and Killian knew it.

"I know mate, I know. I am glad that she has you to protect her, but I promise you, you don't need to. I created the biggest cluster fuck when I left for the first time. I hurt the woman I love in a way that is unforgivable and I will be working the rest of my life to make sure that I, or anyone, never hurts her again. I couldn't bear seeing her cry when she told me how much my departure hurt her. I knew my leaving would upset her, but I truly did think a clean break would be better. I never thought she could feel that way about me. If I had, I would have never left the way I did." They would never know how truly sorry he was.

The group all started at him though.

"What?" he asked.

"Well mate" Robin began, "We all knew you liked Emma, you spent so much time together, but we never heard you confess to loving her. All of us knew that you like her for more than just her friendship, but we would have never guessed that you loved her."

"You both are so stupid, you know that." Will piped in. "You both were mad for each other, but both blind and stupid."

"Why didn't you ever tell her?" David questioned.

"I was always scared of running her off. I knew that above anything I needed Emma in my life. She was my lifeline. After Liam died, I never really had someone who just understood me, until Emma. I couldn't handle her rejecting me, so I never told anyone. I never knew she felt the same way. I knew we were close and I had hoped and wished that she would feel the same, but I never thought it would come true." Killian answered.

"Again, you both are bloody stupid." Will stated

"We were young, and yes, I was stupid. But I am going to make that up to her." Killian said.

"Do you still love her?" Graham questioned, sipping her drink. While the others were the ones to give him their opinions, Graham was always the one who just asked the questions and let them figure out their feelings on their own.

"Truthfully mate, when I was gone, I would think about how I used to love her. I told myself I left the way I did because I loved her, but I never thought I would see her again, to get the chance to love her again. After a while, when I would think about her, about the group, I tried to convince myself that I didn't love her anymore, that it was just puppy love - something high schoolers share, but it never amounts to anything. But when fate brought us back together, when I saw her coming off that elevator in the hospital, I just knew. I had always loved her. I will always love her. I never stopped loving her. I have loved Swan since junior prom." Killian had never said that. He only ever thought to himself that he loved her, but to hear his declaration, he knew that he meant it even more. Emma was it for him, and he was going to spend the rest of his life proving to her just how much he loved her.

"About bloody time." Robin said, raising a glass to him.

* * *

_Eleven years ago_

_Everyone says that senior prom is going to be the best night of their lives, but Killian couldn't agree. Tonight, the night of the junior prom was going to be the best night of their lives. The group had rented a stretch limo for the night, went to their favorite pizza place for dinner, and now they were getting ready to dance the night away. The group had decided that they would all go together, not wanting to involve anyone else. Mary Margaret and David had been dating for about a year, so they were technically going together, but the rest of them decided that being stag was fine, as long as they were all together._

_Earlier in the evening, the guys had all gotten ready together at Killian's apartment. Even though it had been a couple of months since Liam died, two years since he started living on his own, using the insurance money from Liam's accident and the fund that was set up for him, the guys still thought that Killian having his own place was the best thing since sliced bread. Killian thought otherwise, it just reminded him of how along he was. Yes, he had the best friends a guy could ask for, and their group kept his spirits up, but he was still lonely._

_The girls were getting ready at Emma and David's house. They were all going to meet at 7 to take pictures along the river: all the parents would be there. Well, the parents that were still alive and still gave a shit would be there, which meant that Killian wouldn't have anyone._

_So starting the night, Killian's mood was shit. He kept sneaking shots of rum when the guys weren't paying attention. His friends were against his drinking: You're underage David would always say; you're gonna kill your liver is what Robin would yell; Will would try to steal it from him so he could drink; and Graham would just stare at him, silently judging. He knows they meant well, but they just didn't understand the pain he was feeling._

_By the time the guys arrived to the house, Killian was already buzzed; improving his mood a bit. One by one, the girls started their parade down the staircase from inside the house, moving out onto the lawn. Mary Margaret had decided that everyone would still need a partner for the night, since they had to match in the pictures, and it would look silly if everyone was mismatched. Regina was pair with Robin, both of them in all black. Ruby and Graham were paired together, Ruby in a short red dress. Mary Margaret and David were in purple. Belle and Will were paired together; she was in a yellow ball gown that was so puffy, he wasn't sure she would fit into the limo._

_Killian was paired with Emma. Mary Margaret said it made the most sense, because they were the closest out of the group. He had been overjoyed when Mary Margaret told him, but he tried to conceal his happiness. Emma and him had grown close over the past two years, and he never thought that he would have someone who understood the pain he was feeling, but then she came along and the days got easier. He knew from the moment he met her, that he felt something stronger than friendship, but she was skittish, and he didn't want to run her off by confessing that he had feelings for her. Especially since he didn't really know that those feelings were._

_Movement at the top of the stairs caught Killian's attention. While he knew each girl had walked down, he didn't really notice them, but what he did notice was her._

_Emma was standing there, her attention right on him. She looked stunning: her blonde hair cascaded down to her waist, falling in light curls; her dress was perfect, a pale blue that made her skin look like porcelain, accenting the cream color of her skin. The dress had a bit of a flare to it, and jewels lined the entire bodice. She looked like an angel, one sent to care for him and guide him through his life. It was in that moment, with Emma walking down the stairs; eyes trained right on him that he fell, and fell hard. There was no going back now. Killian was desperately in love with Emma._

"_You look…" he trailed off when she got to him._

"_I know." She finished for him. "I am not gonna lie, you look pretty good Killian, I am glad I got the bad boy of the group - you would dress like that."_

_After they got paired, Mary Margaret made everyone decide what colors they would be wearing, so the boys could rent matching tuxedos. All the girls chose their signature colors, so of course Emma chose a light blue. it was in that moment that Mary Margaret got the dumbest idea - he should wear a baby blue suit to prom: just like their parents had done in the 80's. At the time he had agreed, not wanting to upset Mary Margaret: but later he decided that it wouldn't happen, he wouldn't be caught dead in that. Instead he opted for a suit that fit his personality much better. Mary Margaret had been sad when she first saw him, but all that mattered was what Emma thought, and to hear that he looked pretty good made his heart swell. As long as he did right by her, all was right in the world._

_The night sped by quickly after that. Pictures were taken, dinner eater, and dancing commenced. The group stayed together the whole night, but Killian danced with Emma like she was the only person in the room. They had danced before - at homecoming and other functions - but tonight was different. He held her a bit closer; he took a little more care. She fit perfectly in his arms: she was the perfect partner._

_When prom ended they all headed back to Killian's apartment to change before they went to All Night Long - the after party the school threw so that students wouldn't drink. The limo dropped them off, as they were taking separate cars to the party. The night had been so perfect; but even thought it was perfect, Killian was still taking sips of rum from his flask. By the time they were ready to leave, his buzz was back. It was at that moment that everything turned to shit._

_He went to take one more drink before the party when Emma walked into his room. Catching him in the act, she stormed out cursing at him. He was supposed to drive everyone to the party. He was never going to - he was going to give Graham the keys in a moment._

_He chased after her "Emma, wait. EMMA!" he was yelling by the time he reached her in the parking lot of his apartment._

"_Don't Killian! Don't you even dare! How could you? Why? Why did you have to drink tonight? What the hell is so wrong in your life tonight that you had to drink? You were going to drive us to the party too! What the fuck Killian are you trying to kill us?" She was angry, he had never seen her this angry. How could he be so stupid? Why couldn't he just be happy that he was with his friends?_

"_I'm so sorry love, I am so sorry." He sobbed as he sat on the ground. "I am so sorry, I promise, I wasn't going to drive, I was just about to give Graham the keys. I promise. I am so sorry. I am so so sorry. I've just been so lonely, I have no one. I was having a hard time seeing everyone's parents taking pictures and doting, and there I was, the orphan kid. I am so tired of being alone." He kept sobbing, choking out the same apology, time and time again._

_She sat down next to him, and pulled him close. His head fell to her shoulder, tears spilling down her collar._

"_I know you are Jones, just don't scare me like that ever again OK. I am here for you. You are never alone, do you hear me. Never. You have me, and I'm not going anywhere." She said, rubbing his back, hoping to calm him._

_He thought he had fallen in love with her earlier in the night, when he saw her coming down the stairs, but boy was he wrong, because he fell for her even harder now, crying in her arms, and she held tight, saying that she was always going to be there and that he had her._

* * *

EMMA'S POV

Well, she had jumped. She jumped without looking, without fear. She asked Killian on a date. She didn't think when she did it, all she knew was that she had to find a way to get him to stay; she had to take this opportunity before it fell through her fingers. Even thought she was still upset about what had happened ten years ago, she couldn't let the anger cloud what could potentially be the best thing that has happened to her. She couldn't let her fear determine her fate anymore.

She was relieved when he accepted her request. She had hoped that she didn't misread the situation: part of the reason she was so concerned about her feelings for him, why it took her a bit to admit she still had feelings for him, was because she was worried that maybe all he wanted from her was friendship. That was part of the reason she had never told him her feelings back in high school, and that fear was coming back and biting her in the ass again. So when he said he would go out with her, she felt like everything was falling back into place. The anger she had been feeling was lifting, and the happiness she used to feel with him was slowly rolling in. It was like he was the calm after the storm, like his presence and acceptance simple moved the storm away, and brought in sunny skies and calmer seas.

She texted Mary Margaret the moment she got back to the resident's lounge. She hadn't been nervous asking him out, but in the minutes it took her to walk back to the lounge, she started to shake. The opportunity that she was being given was settling in. She had asked him out to dinner that night, without even realizing that she was supposed to watch Henry tonight, without having anything to wear, and without mentally preparing herself for what the date might be like. She needed all the help that she could get; and even thought the date wasn't for a couple of hours, she felt like it was only minutes away.

Mary Margaret called in the troops: Ruby offering to take Henry for the night, stating that Emma just owed her all the juicy details of the date; Regina promising to run by the house and pick up Emma's favorite dress and shoes; Belle sending her positive quotes and funny gifs through texts so that Emma's mind wasn't being taken up with anxiety; and Mary Margaret swinging by when she got off at six to help get her ready. Emma couldn't be more thankful for her friends, but she was still nervous. She was going on her first date in years, and it was with Killian. But even though all the nerves, she felt like everything was right.

* * *

Emma walked out the lounge at seven o'clock, expecting Killian to be waiting for her at the coffee cart. What she didn't expect was that he would be waiting with a gorgeous bouquet of sunflowers. Emma was surprised he remembered her favorite flower. He looked dashing - wearing a pair of suit pants and a dark blue shirt that almost looked black. The shirt was open a bit at the top, revealing his dark chest hair. Emma used to dream about running her fingers through it, ever since she had seen him at the beach the summer before junior year. There was a sparkle in Killian's eyes that told her he was enjoying what she looked like. Her favorite dress was a deep red, hugged her curves in the best ways (made her ass look fantastic, if she did say so herself), and accented her skin tone perfectly. She had put her hair up, yet it held light curls that still cascaded down to her shoulders. She had hoped he would like what he saw, and his reaction to her was just what she needed to make the nerves go away.

He took her hand and led her out the door. It was at that time, she knew that the night would be full of surprises - in front of her was her favorite car. She had no idea how Killian knew that the Tesla model S was her favorite car, but there it was in all its glory in color she had always wanted too. He opened the door and helped her inside. She was stunned to say the least.

"What is it love?" he asked her as he climbed into the drivers seat and started the car.

"I just love this car. For the past few years, it has been my dream car; I cannot believe I am actually getting to ride in one." She responded, her eyes taking in everything around her. The car smelled brand new and the interior was even more gorgeous than she had imagined.

"Well, I am glad I getting to make some of your dreams come true." He smiled and they pulled out of the parking lot.

"So, where are you taking me tonight?" She questioned. Killian had always been thoughtful, even in high school, going above and beyond to make things special. She remembered the time he brought her her favorite food when she was at home sick one week during senior year, she remembered the time he went out of the way to throw Ruby a surprise party randomly, because she had been upset that all of them had gotten a surprise birthday party in the past two years, expect for her and her birthday wouldn't be until we were all away at college. Killian always found a way to make everyone feel special. Now, she couldn't wait to see what he did to make this night special.

"Well, I thought we would start the night going somewhere that I know you will enjoy, but it's a surprise, you won't know until we get there." he winked. She started thinking as hard as she could about where he was taking her - they were on the highway, so it could be just about anywhere. Thankfully, Killian kept her entertained during the thirty-minute drive by telling her of the places he and Lily had visited over the past few years. It wasn't until they turned off the interstate and headed towards the outlet mall that she realized where he was taking her. Once the restaurant came into view, Emma was laughing hysterically in the front seat of the car.

"Really Killian, you think Olive Garden is the best place for a romantic date?" She giggled.

"Yes Love, I know how much you enjoy it!" He said. He was right. She never knew why she loved it, but it was her favorite restaurant. Maybe it was she couldn't frequent it as much when she was little since they were busy moving around Europe and Asia. Maybe it was because her mom craved it when she was pregnant with her. Emma would never be sure, but all she knew was that in high school whenever there was a question of where they would eat for dinner as a group, Emma always suggested Olive Garden. It became a running gag within the group - anytime Emma was hungry they would joke that she was in an Olive Garden withdrawal. She hadn't been to one in years actually, so the fact that Killian remembered it made her heart sing. Sure, it was corny and wasn't the best restaurant choice for a date; but Emma couldn't be happier.

As they sat down for drinks, Emma began to get nervous again. Being in the car with Killian was fine, their conversation flowing naturally. But now that they were in a restaurant, Emma felt like everyone was starting at them, and suddenly she wasn't quite sure what to do. What do they even talk about - she knew practically everything about the man in front of her, minus some of what he had been doing that past ten years. He knew practically everything about her, well almost everything, and she was hoping that his inquiring mind would ask her about him. Thankfully it was during that thought that Killian pulled her back to the present.

"So love, how do you enjoy being a doctor? Is it everything you thought it would be?" and with that question from him, things got back to normal. They talked about the hospital, about college, about his trips with Lily, about Lily's time in school and how she was so smart. They talked about the group - Killian asking about everyone and how things progressed with them. He told her how he spent some time with the boys that afternoon. His face lit up when he started talking about their get together. She could tell that not having the boys in his life was almost as bad as not having her there. However, once he finished discussing the boys, the conversation turned to the place Emma was hoping to avoid, at least for a little while longer.

"So your son, Henry, how old is he?" Killian asked softy. It was almost as if he was scared to bring up the past; like he was worried he would ruin everything by asking.

"He's nine. He's growing up so fast too. It feels like just last week he was holding my hand on the first day of school." She answered. "So I am sure you would like to know more about him."

"Love, I understand if you would prefer not to talk about your lad on our date. Of course though, I would love to hear more about him. He is part of you, which I am sure will make him an extremely bright and brilliant young man. However, if you would prefer not to discuss it, you don't have to. Please don't feel you have to tell me anything about him." he said. While there was pain in his voice, there was also understanding. He knew he had caused her pain in the past, he knew she had been hurting and became a different person when he left. Yet, she knew he was still scared of what he may hear.

"No, it's fine Killian. He is an amazing kid, and he healed me a bit when he came along. I am just worried that you will be upset with me when I tell you our story." She replied.

"What do you mean love?" He reached across the table and took her hand.

"You have apologized for everything that you did in the past, and I have accepted that apology, and I am in the process of forgiving you for leaving, but what you did hurt me. It changed me for a while. I was in a bad place after you left and I did some bad things. I got into some trouble. I thought I couldn't be that girl anymore, I couldn't be the girl you left, so I tried to change, but it just made things worse." She bowed her head at her statement. Of course she wanted to tell Killian about Henry, about how he came to be, but she didn't want him to feel responsible for what happened, she didn't want him to feel bad.

"I know love. David told me you had a rough time after I left, and I am so sorry for putting you through that. However, I could never be mad at you for dealing with your pain in the way you thought best at the time. I promise, I will not judge you for anything and I will never hate you or get mad at you for anything." he reply, rubbing loving circles along her hand.

"OK, but it isn't a pretty story." She said. All she received back was a nod that told her to continue. "The summer you left, I decided that I could no longer play things safe. The night you left, I was going to corner you and tell you I loved you and I wanted to be with you. It had taken me so long to tell you that, because I was playing it safe, because I was afraid of the consequences. So once you left, I decided that I couldn't be that scared little girl anymore. I spent the summer partying around the area. I went to a lot of parties that summer, but I don't remember most of it. David had to fill in a lot of holes for me, because I was drinking so much. I was at a party almost every other night, I was drinking constantly. But, I didn't care anymore. I wasn't going to play it safe and I wasn't going to let my heart get squashed again. I decided that love was no good, so I no longer cared about waiting to find the right person to be with. I had gone to a party that Zelena had thrown. No one form our group was going to be there, so I knew I could let go without David or Mary Margaret stopping me. Zelena had a bunch of people from her new school there, and I met this one guy Neal Cassidy." Saying his name made her take pause. She was about to continue when Killian piped in.

"Neal Cassidy? Went to Springfield High School then to VCU?" Killian questioned.

"Yeah, did you know him?" Emma questioned. She didn't remember Killian spending anytime with anyone from other schools. While he got along famously with the group, he didn't really socialize outside of them.

"Yeah, I know him." He started "His father was the one threatening my dad. His father is the reason I left the way I did."


	6. Chapter 6

Emma's POV

It shouldn't have surprised her. Killian's confession should not have surprised her at all, considering how the past few days have been. It was just her luck that he knew Henry's father. Of course he would know the family that had caused so much heartbreak in both of their lives. The irony was not really lost on her - she had to stifle a laugh when he repeated his statement, just to make sure she heard it.

"I know him Emma." He was staring at her with a look of sorrow. She didn't understand why he had to be the one that was sorry.

"Of course you know him," She said with the laugh she holding in. "Why wouldn't you know him. I mean the first real surgery I get to perform is on your sister, which brings you back into my life. Then I find out that the reason why you left is my son's grandfather. Of course that is how this all plays out."

What was with the reaction she was having? Any other day, she would have been furious that he knew Henry's father that somehow his family caused her some of the worse pain she had ever felt. Yet here she was, in the middle of an Olive Garden, trying to hold in laughter. Killian realized that she wasn't being herself either, because the next thing she knew he was moving his seat closer to her, pulling both of her hands into his.

"Love, what is going on?" he questioned, this time he didn't look at her with sadness, but with concern.

"I don't really know. I mean it's just crazy that we have been intertwined this entire time, right? You left, all those years ago, you left: then you come back and we meet in a pretty crazy way, then we find out that the reason you left, is also the reason I have a son. It's just crazy. It's crazy!" her laughter faded when she finished, no longer thinking that the situation was funny.

"Swan, look at me, I understand that this is a lot. A lot has happened and we still have a lot of catching up to do. I know it's crazy, but as long as I get to stay on this date with you, as long as I get to be in your life again, then I don't care how it came to be. All I care about is that I am here again, and you are here with me." He stated. She looked into the blue eyes near her, and she saw what he meant. Yes, the situation was crazy, and yes, they had a lot of catching up to do: but he was right, it didn't matter how they got here, as long as they were here now with each other.

"Ok, so where was I…" she started, looking at Killian, who raised an eyebrow to signal her to keep going.

* * *

_About ten years ago_

_The party had been going strong for a couple of hours now. Zelena's house was located along the waterfront, so Emma had spent the last hour or so sitting on the docks, letting her feet sway in the water. It had been a crazy two months. In just a couple of weeks, she would be moving into her dorm with Regina, and starting her freshman year of college. She should be excited: hell that is why Zelena was throwing the party - one last hurrah before everyone left. Yet, even though the party was exciting, Emma had little reason to be happy._

_The past two months had been a blur. The day after, she used the fake ID Graham had gotten everyone for their senior year, and went to the closest ABC store and bought three bottles of Tequila. One was gone by the end of the day: since that night, David had tried to keep a watch on his sister, but tonight, she was finally able to just let go, and not feel. She needed to stop the feeling that was in her heart; she needed to get rid of the ache. David and the rest of the group tried to get Emma to talk about the situation, but she wouldn't budge. Half the time she would cry if they brought it up, the other half she would get angry and start to throw a temper tantrum like she was five._

_So tonight, on the one night she knew everyone else was preoccupied with their own happy lives that Emma snuck out of the house and went to the party. She just needed to not feel, she needed to be numb. So here she was, sitting on the docks, with a bottle of rum in her hand. She hadn't wanted rum: no, she didn't want his drink, but it was all she could snatch. She started to feel the numbing sensation work its way through her fingers. Only a couple more shots, and she could forget why she came in the first place. Just a couple more drinks and she could be happy for a while. She was just about to take another swig of alcohol when she felt someone sit down next to her._

"_Listen, I really am not in the mood to talk to anyone. So fuckoff asshole." She bit at the person, who she hadn't even looked at. Now was not the time for someone to sweep in and destroy what she was working for._

"_Woah girly, I'm sorry. I was just out here looking for someone. I am sorry I interpreted the pity party." A voice came crashing down. It was manly, yet was filled with boyish charm. The words were loaded with jest, laced in that familiar enemy pain. She turned around and faced a guy she hadn't met yet. He wasn't too tall, yet held himself with confidence. He looked a bit older than he probably was, and he had a mop of brown hair. He looked different than him, so she took the chance to push him from her mind._

"_I'm sorry, I am just dealing with a lot of bullshit and I was hoping to be alone. I didn't mean to snap at you, but I was also thinking you were my overbearing twin who is trying to control everything I do recently." She said, giving away a bit too much information, but in her drunken state she didn't care. She reached her hand out to him "Emma Swan."_

"_Neal Cassidy." he said taking her hand. Without letting it go, he dropped down next to her on the dock. "It's OK Emma, I know what it's like. I have a dad who is a bit overbearing, which is why I am here for the summer. I had to get away from him; I needed to go somewhere he couldn't find me. I couldn't deal with his baggage anymore."_

_She smiled at him, actually smiled. She hadn't smiled since that night, she hadn't wanted to. Why would she smile when she had nothing to smile about, no one to share the smile with._

_Neal and Emma spent the next hour just talking. Not really about anything important, just about who they were and what their plans for the future were. It was then that Emma found out that Neal was going to VCU, where Zelena was planning on attending, and he knew Zelena's boyfriend – some dude with the nickname of Hades. He had run away that summer, trying to get as far away from his father as he could. His father had no idea where he was or what he was doing. He said that he was living here with Zelena and Hades in the garage while her parents were traveling Europe. Emma told him that she was dealing with heartbreak and that she was planning on attending UVa in the fall with all her friends. She was thankful for them, but wanted to be able to grieve the loss of her heart the way she deemed best._

_One thing lead to another and by the end of the hour, Neal was kissing her. She wasn't so into it, but it helped push the thoughts of her broken heart from her mind. At first, she did think about him, about his leaving, about what it would have been like to kiss him: but then, she pushed him far from her mind. Love was weakness and she wasn't going to be weak anymore._

_The makeout session soon turned a bit heavier, with Neal pulling Emma onto his lap. She wasn't sure what was coming over her, but she didn't mind that the kissing made her feel more numb than the rum. Both of their hands were moving, exploring, when Neal pulled back. He winked at her, and gave her a light kiss on the lips._

"_Come on, I know somewhere we can go." He pulled her up and into his embrace, kissing her again. He walked her back through the property and into the garage. The whole time, Emma kept telling herself that everything was OK, that sooner or later she would have to take the plunge and just get the hell over her broken heart. She didn't have to love this guy to sleep with him, and she didn't have to make it a big deal. She knew that this one night was what she needed to get over him, and she wasn't going to let her nerves stand in her way. She took another swig from the bottle - emptying its contents and followed Neal through the door that led to a guest bedroom._

* * *

"About nine months later, Henry was born." Emma said finishing the story that she knew would hurt him. They had already eaten dinner and were now sitting in his car in the parking lot.

She had told him that she was scared to love again after he left, and she thought the only was to rid herself of the love she once felt for him was to move on with another.

"I had been a virgin that night Killian, and I was a bit drunk. All I knew was that I was hurting from you leaving. I had in my head this entire scenario of us, how you would be my first, my only. How we would be together forever, because I knew our bond was that strong. Not only were you my best friend, but I also knew you were going to be my first love. What I didn't realize was that love was going to kill me when you left. For two months I drank, just so that I wouldn't remember you, so that I wouldn't feel the hole in my heart. Then Neal came along, and suddenly I knew what I could do to keep the pain away for good. I had to stop thinking that love was all that was out there. So I built up a wall around my heart, and thought the best way to get over you was to sleep my way over you." She was now crying. It wasn't a sob, but a soft cry, with small tears running down her cheeks. Before she knew what was happening, Killian was pulling her into him - a difficult thing to do in the front seat of a car, yet he hugged her like her life, like his, depended on it.

"Oh Emma, I am so sorry that happened. I am so sorry that I put you through so much pain. I am sorry that I let my own fear cloud any feelings that I had for you. If I had been stronger, if I had been better, I could have saved you from the pain that I caused." he said softly into her hair. He was the one apologizing. She was the one who said she started sleeping around because he left, she was the one who wanted everything with him and just threw it away because she was upset and hurting. She was the one who had a child the first time she had sex, and all because she wanted to forget him: but, he was the one apologizing to her.

"Why are you always the one apologizing, you didn't force me to do anything I didn't want to do. You were simply trying to protect me. You were just trying to take care of me, and what do I do when you leave; I throw all that protection out the door. Killian, I am the one who is sorry. I am so sorry that I never trusted you, that I hated what you did all these years." She had no clue what was going on with her tonight. First, she is laughing at the knowledge that the man who ran Killian off was Henry's grandfather, then she is crying because she told Killian how Henry came to be, then he is the one apologizing for Emma's promiscuity. "I am sorry Killian. Truly."

"Love, it's OK. We both have done things in our past that we wish we could change, but realize this love: I would never want you to. Henry is a part of you, a very special part. I am glad that you have him, that you had someone who would love you unconditionally while I was gone, someone who would take care of you." He said.

"When I found out I was pregnant with Henry, I wasn't sure what to do. The first thing I tried to do was call you. I had all this anger bottled up and I did blame you a bit for the situation I was now in, but something in me told me I had to talk with my best friend. For a couple days, I kept trying to call your number: I would get halfway through dialing you and I would hang up, or I would get so close to sending you a text message and I would delete it. One time, I did get through, I made the call, but I was met immediately with a disconnected recording. That was the day I told everyone I was pregnant. Thankfully, I had the best family in the world, and David was so supportive; but I still had wished you were there." Emma looked into his eyes, hoping that Killian would see what she really meant by that wish. She had wished, quite a few times, that Killian would be Henry's father. She knew it was stupid at the time, but she wished that she could do back in time and change things: make everything right.

Killian's blue eyes met Emma's green, and they were filled with so much emotion; she couldn't tell what he was thinking. Did he understand how much Emma needed him back then? Did he understand that most of her hatred towards him the past few years had simply been because he wasn't around for her, that he wasn't around for Henry?

"Oh Emma, I am so sorry that you had to go through that alone. I am so sorry that I was never there for you, especially when you needed me the most." He was still holding her.

"Killian, that's not all though." she said, hoping that she would be able to get through the next part of her story, as it was a story she hadn't even fully told her friends. No one really knew the truth about what happened next. "Neal kept trying to see me after that night, even though I wanted nothing to do with him. He was just a means to an end; and I had told him so that night we slept together. I was just looking for a way to get over you, I wasn't looking for anything serious and I wasn't looking to love someone ever again. Yet, he was persistent. For the rest of the month, he would constantly text me and call; I was hoping that it would stop when college started. The first month of school was a disaster for me. I was moody and mean to everyone, I was so sick - I didn't realize it was because I was pregnant. However, once I found out and told everyone, I knew that I needed to contact Neal - because even though I didn't want anything to do with him, I thought he should know. I remember calling him and telling him we had to talk. He drove up to the campus that weekend and we met a Starbucks. I told him I was pregnant and that it was his. He then did something I never thought he would do. He actually smiled and held my hand. He told me that we could do this. It was his last year in school and he was going to get a job with his father at the end of the year. He looked me right in the eyes and promised me that he would be there for us; for the baby and me. He wanted us to be a family. I didn't know what I should do. I couldn't be with this man: I didn't love him. I had been planning on giving the baby up for adoption too, and yet here he was professing his devotion to us. I felt so bad for the guy; he seemed truly happy by the fact that his one night stand was pregnant."

Emma could remember the look on Neal's face when she told him, he was genuinely happy. She had never seen anyone look so happy, except for Killian when he saw her on prom night junior year. The next part of her story was the part she had never told anyone. The group of friends knew Neal wanted to be in the baby's life, they knew that he was happy, but what they never knew was what he was going to do to ensure that they were taken care of.

"Neal told me that night that he was going to talk to his father to see if he could help out for a bit, until Neal could leave school and join him. I couldn't tell the guy no. All I could think about was how hurt I was when you left, and how I couldn't hurt this guy. When he left, I stayed up all night thinking about how I could make this work, so that everyone was happy. Neal wanted this baby so bad, so how could I now give it up? But I didn't love Neal, so how could I have a family with him? It all then boiled down to one thing. Henry. I had to think about my child, and my child deserved to grow up with a loving family and the more I thought about it, the more I realized that Neal could give Henry just that. That we could love him, and even though I may not love Neal, I knew I would never love anyone again, it just hurt too much. That night, I decided that I would accept Neal's offer of being a family, and that I would be the best mom to my child that they could ever wish for." Emma paused, looking to see that Killian was still listening, that he wasn't upset with her. She was telling him her whole story - reliving every horrible detail. She was upset with herself that she allowed herself to hate this man for so long. She was upset that she ruined what was supposed to be such a wonderful night. She was pissed that she had to relive the moment in which she decided that Killian wasn't the most important person in her life. Yet, he didn't look angry with her, or upset. Instead, he looked at her with compassion, like he needed to know everything that she wanted to share.

"What I didn't know was that Neal's father was Robert Gold. I found that out in February. I had to move off campus because of the pregnancy, and Neal had rented me an apartment. It even had a room for the baby. I was going through the paperwork with the apartment complex, when they asked who Robert Gold was. I had no idea, but the name sounded familiar. I told the complex, it must be Neal's dad, who said he would help out and take care of the rent for the apartment until Neal was able to get a full time job with him. I was unpacking some boxes that I hadn't gotten around to during the initial move when my curiosity got the best of me. I didn't want to ask Neal who he was, since he was under so much stress since he had asked his father for help. I did a simple Google search, and that is when I found out that Robert Gold was an alias that was used by someone who ran the Irish mafia out of Dublin. I then researched further and it turns out Neal was his son. I called Neal immediately and asked him to explain. He told me he was busy working, but would come and visit me soon that he loved me and our baby and that was all that mattered. I hung up all mad, and I didn't realize it at the time, but that was the last time I would hear from Henry's father. The next morning, there were two police at my apartment. They said that Neal died the previous night - from a gunshot wound during a scuffle in Richmond. They told me that apparently Neal was doing work for his father, and that it went bad and he was shot." Emma's voice was shaky. She never told anyone that Neal had died because he was working for his father. She couldn't: she was too ashamed that she would allow herself to be involved with someone like that. She couldn't understand how her life had gotten so turned around. It was during that time that Emma wished Killian would come back and take her and Henry away, and they could be a little family, and be happy. Killian was still rubbing circles into her back and holding her close.

"I remember when he died Love." Killian said, speaking for the first time in what felt like years. "I was in a meeting with Gold. I was trying to figure out a way to get out from under his thumb. We were going over a contract that said what I had to do to leave when his wife came into the room and told him the news. I had never seen a man so broken, yet so angry all at the same time. I am sorry I didn't tell you sooner who I was involved with during those missing years, but I was ashamed of myself, of my family, and I didn't want to involve you. I wish I could have been there for you, for Henry. I wish I could have been better." He was saying exactly what she had felt all those years ago, shame. Both of them ashamed for things they couldn't control.

"Killian, you don't have to be sorry, what happened, happened. Yes, I wish I could turn back time and do things differently, but I wouldn't have Henry, and no matter what happened, I am glad that I have him, that I didn't give him up. After Neal died, I moved in with the girls. I never heard anything from Gold and Neal became a distant memory. His death didn't hurt me very much. Yes, I was sad that Henry had lost his father, but somehow I knew that things would be OK. David and Mary Margaret think that he died just from a drive by shooting - no one knows what really happened. All they know was that I was upset for a few days, but I moved on. I claimed it was because we didn't really know each other, that I was only grieving for Henry, when really I was grieving your loss all over again. I was alone again, but somehow, this time, I had to be better." She said, pulling Killian closer to her.

"Gold died a few years back, which was how I was able to get out from underneath his thumb easily. But there is more to that story that I really shouldn't discuss right now. What I want you to know is that I am here Emma. I am not going anywhere. I can see the fear in your eyes. I can sense that you think this is all too much for me to take but know this: I am not going anywhere. I am here for good. I will always be here, no matter how you want me here. I can be here as your friend, or I can be here as something more. Everything is up to you Emma." He said, somehow knowing exactly what she needed to hear.

She was still worried that she had ruined everything. She had practically told him she wanted Henry to be his all along; a confession she hadn't even told her best friend. She had told him she wished he were her first, her last: wouldn't he hate her for saying that, wouldn't he be upset with her for taking those thoughts and ruining them by sleeping around? Ok, she didn't really sleep around, since she had only ever been with Neal, but still. She had worried that her confession of Henry's arrival would make him run for the hills, yet here he was. He was still holding her, still looking at her like he couldn't believe she was real. It was in that moment that Emma knew that things in her life were about to go her way again.

* * *

KILLIAN'S POV

After Emma's confession, Killian tried to come up with some way to comfort her, but all he knew to do was hold her. They sat in his car for what seemed like only minutes, but turned out to be a few hours. By the time Emma had settled down and moved back to her seat, they had been in the parking lot for two hours.

Her story had taken him by surprise to say the least. Henry's father was Robert Gold's son. The son that Gold complained about during their meeting. That man had been Henry's grandfather. Emma was right - the whole situation just seemed crazy. It seemed a bit out of this world, yet here they were. What didn't surprise him was that Neal wanted Henry in his life - from what Killian had gathered during his brief time in Dublin, Neal had run away at a young age, because of Gold's actions and life style. Gold had mentioned that Neal said he wanted to have a real family, a family that loved him unconditionally. For a brief time, it seemed Neal had gotten his wish.

Even though the revelation of Henry's paternity hung in the air, all Killian could think about was how Emma had said she had envisioned a life for them. She wanted Killian to be her first, her only. He had wanted that too, more than she could ever know. She had wanted Killian to be with her through everything, and he had left her simply because he was a coward, afraid that someone would hurt her or him. What really shook him though was Emma's silent confession: he wasn't sure what she was trying to say with her eyes when she said things would have been better with him there, but he thought she was trying to say she wished he would have been Henry's father. Pride swelled in his heart: he had wanted that too. He wished in those few moments that Henry was his. That things had gone the way they should have: with Emma confessing her love to him on graduation night, him reciprocating those feelings and confessing that he could never live without her, with them finally taking the time to show each other the love they felt. He could see what their lives could have been: Killian coming home after work, to Emma sitting in their home, with a swell to her belly, carrying his child. That is what it should have been; yet these were the cards they were dealt, and come hell or high water, he was going to make things right again.

Driving Emma back to her house that she shared with Regina, Killian tried to lighten the mood a bit: he asked Emma about her favorite patients, about her time in college and if she got the chance to go to any games (he knew her love for college football), he asked about the girls in the group. Thankfully, by the time they arrived back at her home, the smile that he loved so much was back on the face of the girl he loved much more.

"Love…" he began, the statement getting her to turn around to him. " I am so sorry that I left so many years ago. I know that what happened, happened, and we cannot change it, but it doesn't change the fact that I am so sorry I hurt you. I am home now love. I promise, I am not going anywhere. I am here." he said, picking up her hands and placing a light kiss to the back of each hand. A hum started to run through his body: that kiss electrified the air around them. "I promise that I am not going anywhere love. I will win your heart again."

With that confession, Emma was pulling Killian towards her: her hands on the lapels of his jacket. Suddenly her lips were on him, and it was like he was seeing the world in color for the first time. It started as small kiss, but the kiss was the best kiss he ever had. Her lips were soft under his. The feeling of her lips against his was one that he never imagined. Sure, he had thought all those years ago about kissing her, but he never realized just how intense it would be. He never realized how just one kiss could change the way he felt about everything in an instant. He was still broken, even with Emma back in his life, but that kiss healed him. The kiss quickly became more – passion filled each movement, a fever surged in his blood. The kiss was tender, yet had a ferocity that had never been matched. It was filled with so much emotion and feeling.

She pulled back first, both of them panting for the oxygen that they needed so desperately, even though Killian knew that he could continue to kiss her, using that as his life force. Her forehead rested against his, her eyes closed. He yearned for the return of her lips on his, but at the same time, he knew if she kissed him again, or if he kissed her, he would never be able to let her go inside.

"Goodnight Killian." She said, as she slowly climbed out of the car.


	7. Chapter 7

EMMA'S POV

The date hadn't really gone the way Emma had thought. It had been great, especially at the start, before she let fear get the best of her. She thought she overcome it for a while, until Killian had asked about Henry. It wasn't that she didn't want to talk about her son. She was so proud of the young man he was becoming, and she was actually quite proud of herself for how she dealt with having a kid so young. Yet, she was concerned about what the discussion could lead to.

When she made her confession about Henry, his father, and the issues that surrounded the affair, she was sure that Killian would judge her. She hadn't wanted to tell him anything because of the fear he may run. He ran once, why wouldn't he run again. Her heart couldn't take it; she knew it would break her. However, she also knew it was better to just tell him now. Just as she deserved to hear about what happened all those years ago, he deserved to know what happened after he left.

She was so scared that she would hurt him. She was worried about what he may think about her: would he think she was a slut for going out so quickly after he left, especially when she said she had loved him; what would he think about the situation that she found herself in with Neal. Even though he had been gone for so many years, she still wanted his approval and support.

Despite all the fear and concern that she felt, she was also quite happy with the date. She got to spend the night with the man she used to love. She got to see that there was still a spark there, even after ten years. When he had held her hand during the night, she felt a familiar tingle run through her, warming her, making her feel safe.

Now that they were sitting in his car at her house, she could feel the static in the air. She was listening to Killian say that he was home and he was sorry for everything he had done; yet all she could focus on was his lips. His lips looked so perfect and were saying everything she wanted to hear. She had wondered for years what those lips would feel like on hers. Would they be soft and tentative, or would they be demanding and tough. It was in that moment she took another leap.

She was pulling on his jacket with a force she didn't realize she had. Her lips were on him before she had another second to think about what was happening. The kiss started small and tender. His lips were nothing like she had imaged. There was passion in the kiss and it was tentative at first, but at the same time they demanded more. The kiss started to turn to something more. The intensity of the kiss was starting to take over her. Her hands started to move from his jacket to his hair. She could feel him moving only slightly, almost like he was scared of ruining the moment. It was the best kiss she ever had. She never felt like this before, not with Neal, and not with any of the guys she had dated after him.

She pulled pack too soon. She didn't want to break that kiss, yet she knew that if she didn't stop now, she would never leave the car. She needed more once she started. The kiss had righted everything that was wronged during dinner. It was like the kiss got rid of any doubt she had about his return, removed any fear that she had about ruining the night. The kiss she had just shared with Killian tore down her walls.

His forehead came to rest on hers. She could feel his breath calming down. She couldn't look at him, knowing that if she looked into those blue eyes, she would never leave the car.

"Goodnight Killian" was all she could say as she turned to climb out of the car. She had a proud little smile on her face as she entered the house. She had left him speechless, and she couldn't lie, she was too.

* * *

When Emma woke up the next morning, she still had on that proud little smile. She kept thinking about that kiss from the night before. Sure, it was only a small kiss, but that kiss had changed everything. Emma wasn't feeling so bad anymore about Killian's leaving. She wasn't so angry anymore. She was beginning to understand why he had left, and she was starting to understand that what he did really was in everyone's best interests. She was surprised at how quickly her walls and anger were falling, but at the same time, she wasn't surprised. Killian had been her best friend for years, and now he was back again, filling in those cracks that she had. Things were starting to feel right again. Yet, at the back of her mind, she was still a bit scared and worried. She didn't want to get her hopes up or get involved. She had only been truly involved with two men and both of them left her. She wasn't sure she could deal with the pain again.

Saturdays were her favorite days – it meant lounging around the house, spending time with her son watching his favorite movies, and relaxing. It gave her time to think about her previous week and let her take time to herself. But it also meant brunch. Since college, the girls had always gotten together every other Saturday for drinks and gossip over their favorite food. It had been what got Emma through the rough patches with Henry and helped her deal with the stress of medical school. At first, Emma would bring Henry, until David and the guys decided that Henry could use some male bonding time, and Emma could use the time away from her son. So today, he was spending the day with Robin and Roland fishing.

They always met at the same restaurant at eleven. They had been sitting in the same seats for years now. They had found this place a month after moving back to Alexandria. Ever since, they came together from crepes and pancakes – the servers learning their orders quickly.

Emma was always the last to arrive. Mary Margaret was always the first. It didn't matter how hard Emma tried to arrive first, she always ended up being last. It had become another running joke within the group. Emma was always on time for her job and anything Henry had going on, but for brunch, Emma was always late. The girls were already seated when Emma arrived.

Mary Margaret was seated next to Regina, involved in a conversation about Regina's mother, who happened to become Mary Margaret's stepmother a few years ago. Belle was seated next to Ruby, involved in a conversation about one of her favorite customers at the library.

Ruby was the first to notice Emma standing in the doorframe to the room they always occupied during brunch.

"Oh my God Emma, finally!" Ruby yelled, pulling her into a hug as they moved along to the table. "Tell us everything! How was the date, where did he take you? What did you all do other than dinner? Was there a goodnight kiss? Was there more than a goodnight kiss?" With the last question, Ruby wiggled her eyebrows. Ruby was always the one to ask more than she needed to know. Emma glared at her friend, who never had a filter on. Ruby's long black hair flowed down her bare back – her friend's filter wasn't the only thing that was sometimes missing. Ruby was the wild child of the group; she was bold in her fashion choices and even bolder in her questions. She was Henry's favorite "aunt", mostly because she knew what to serve him whenever he came into her restaurant by his school.

"Gosh, Ruby, let the girl sit down and eat first." Regina quipped from her seat. Regina had seen Emma when she got home last night, but neither said anything to each other.

"Oh please, I have been waiting years to hear all about how Killian Jones is. I am sure that he is amazing in bed. I haven't seen him since high school, but from what Mary Margaret said, he looks just the same, if not better." Ruby giggled. Mary Margaret sighed as Ruby's excitement got a bit out of control.

"Nothing happened Ruby. We had dinner. We talked. It was a good night. Overall, it was a good night." Emma said, with a hint of sadness in her voice. "There is nothing to tell."

"What do you mean nothing to tell? Emma, you went out with Killian, a man you used to love, and there is nothing to tell." Belle said. While Ruby was after gossip for the sake of gossip, Belle was after the love story she was sure they were all going to get. She was always the shy one, and always blushed a bit when sex was brought up in conversation. Belle's long brown hair was curled to perfection and she always looked put together. Belle was a librarian and writer.

"Girls, calm down. Let her breathe." Mary Margaret chimed in. "Listen Emma, we all know last night was kind of a big deal for you, and we are here if you want to talk, and we are here if you don't want to talk either. I just know you will sit around and stew with your thoughts, and that isn't what you need right now Ems."

Mary Margaret was right. Emma had done it countless times before. She was known for working through all her problems by herself. She had done it for years, ever since he left. Sure, she had help with Henry, but she never asked for help with her dating life, not like she really had one since. Hell, there were times when it took her months just to tell them that something had gone wrong at work. They all knew something was up, but Emma always claimed she did better by herself. There was no need to involve anyone in her issues, especially if it was just going to hurt everyone around her: she would rather just hurt alone.

She had done this the first time Killian left. She hid in a hole and refused to left anyone else help her through the years. When Neal had happened, Emma didn't even let them know what really happened, she couldn't face how helpful they were going to be. They really were the best friends, but she had always been better at working through things on her own. Now though, sitting around her best friends, who had been there through all her downs, she knew she had done wrong all those years ago. She thought she had done better by herself, but she was wrong, she did better when they were there.

"OK" Emma started. "We went out: he took me to Olive Garden. I couldn't believe he remembered that. Once we sat down though, my fear came back. I was so nervous about what was going on and where we were. But, conversation started flowing easily again. It was great, but then I thought I ruined the whole evening when we started to talk about Henry."

"What?" everyone but Mary Margaret blurted out.

"Why would you even do that?" Regina asked.

"It wasn't like I wanted to talk about Henry, but he asked how old Henry was, and things went from there. I don't know how to explain it, but one minute I am telling him how old Henry is, and next thing I know, I am telling him the whole story. I started to panic, I was so worried about what he would think of me." Emma said looking around at her friends, and with each glance, she wished that she hadn't told them. She wouldn't classify their looks as judgmental, but they weren't very supportive either.

"Oh Ems, that is actually a really good thing." Mary Margaret said. Emma looked towards her friend, who had a true look of understanding and acceptance on her face.

"What?" Emma said.

"Emma, you have always been so closed off to people, and last night you actually took a chance. You told him about the most important person in your life. I think that was really big of you, and I am sure it was amazing." Mary Margaret took Emma's hand with her speech.

"It actually felt really good to get it off my chest. I know I don't need to apologize for having Henry or for what happened after he left, but I still felt I owed it to him to tell him about what happened. I was actually surprised at how well he took it, in fact, he was the one apologizing for everything." Emma smiled a bit. She still couldn't believe his reactions the pervious nights. He had been so understanding and supportive of her, never once judging her for her prior actions.

"That's amazing Emma, I knew he would never make you feel bad about anything that happened." Belle said.

"I am just not really sure where it leaves us now. What does this all mean? I don't know if I can allow myself to open back up to him. I couldn't live with myself if the past came back to haunt us. I couldn't do that to myself, but I also couldn't do that to Henry." Emma's voice held the pain that she used to feel. It had been what she was most afraid of. She was afraid to let herself be open to love again.

"Emma, it's worth it." Mary Margaret started, "The fear you are feeling is understandable, but you deserve to be happy. You cannot keep letting your fear of being left hinder your chance at love. Love, is worth it." She concluded.

"Mary Margaret is right Emma, you deserve to be happy. We all saw what you were like with Killian in high school, and we know you could be happy again with him; you just have to take a chance with him. Besides, why not take a chance with one of the hottest guys we've ever seen." Ruby added, one to always add a laugh at the end of a serious statement. It made Emma giggle and did lighten the mood a bit.

"I know I deserve to be happy, but I cannot let Henry get hurt. I couldn't live with myself if I let him get hurt." She said. She knew if she didn't have Henry to think about, then she would jump at the chance to be with Killian.

"Henry is already hurting." Regina said, all eyes glancing over to her.

"What the fuck are you talking about Regina?" Emma barked. She couldn't believe what she was hearing – her son was hurting because of her. She had done everything for him, how could he be hurting?

"Emma calm down, what I mean to say is that even though you have tried to protect him over the years, he notices what you deal with. A few years ago, you know when you dated that douchnozzle Walsh?" Regina questioned. Of course Emma remembered Walsh, one of the only guys she actually dated after Neal. He was sweet at first, but then he started to pressure her into sex and pressure her to meet Henry. She had a rule after Neal – she wouldn't just have sex with anyone and she wouldn't let anyone get near enough to Henry to hurt him. She dumped him after about a month. Emma nodded to her roommate. "Well, you had gone out one night and Henry was hanging out with me and Robin, and he just asked – Why is my mom always hiding me from her dates? – he went on to say that he felt you were ashamed of him. Now, Robin and I told him it was the opposite, that you were just protecting him, but you could tell he thought he was a problem."

"Why didn't you ever tell me that? My son was upset and you thought I didn't need to know?" Emma questioned.

"He asked us not to tell you, plus by the end of the night he was fine. But a couple of months later, when you had to work a night shift; he asked why you never dated. Again, he thought it was because of him." Regina said. Emma was getting more and more upset every time Regina opened her mouth.

"Emma, calm down, and let Regina explain." Belle said, seeing the anger creep across Emma's face. She took a deep breath and nodded at Regina to continue.

"Emma, listen, I don't want to upset you, and Henry is fine now, but for sometime he thought you weren't dating simply because of him. He rarely sees you going out on dates, and he thought it was because you were upset with him or ashamed. I explained to him that there was a guy in your past that hurt you, so you didn't trust easily. He understood and decided that he was going to get you back in the game. He called it Operation Cygnus. I didn't tell him anything else about your past, but I did tell him that you loved him so much, that you wanted to do anything for him and you just wanted to keep him safe. I promise, everything is fine now, and he hasn't brought it up since." Regina said.

Emma let out a long sigh. She had never wanted to hurt her son, she only wanted to protect him from the pain that she had felt so many years ago. She never realized that by keeping him in the dark and not showing him her pain, she only opened him up for a different kind of pain.

"I really screwed things up with him didn't I?" Emma asked.

"Not at all!" Ruby said, "I am sure he was just worried about his mom. Emma you know we all think that you are amazing, and Henry idolizes you. He just wants to make sure that you are as happy as you make him."

With that Emma smiled, not quite sure what to say about the subject anymore. She didn't quite understand Henry's concern for her. He had grown up around a lot of people who were in loving and stable relationships, so why should he worry about her life? He had others to look up too, yet at the same time, she knew that it was different to see your mom alone at most functions, but all her friends in committed relationships. In the end, all she wanted to do was make Henry happy and make sure nothing happened to him.

"OK, well get on with it." Ruby announced, "We know more happened after your discussion with him about Henry, so tell us what happened!"

"Well, after my breakdown about Henry and Neal, he drove me home. He kept apologizing for everything I went through. He just kept saying all these amazing thing. Then as the night ended, he said that he had won my heart once before, and he was going to win it again." She said, smiling at the memory that had kept her up half the night. She was excited to hear that he wanted to win her heart again, but she had so much trepidation with his admission.

"That's amazing Emma! He is finally going to prove to you how much he cares. It's romantic!" Belle gushed.

"Yes, that is amazing Emma, but come on, give us something juicy!" Ruby cried. She knew she couldn't hide it any longer.

"Yes, there was a good night kiss." Emma said blushing.

The girls all squealed. Well, Mary Margaret and Belle squealed, Ruby let out a "hot damn" and Regina just nodded and took another sip of her drink. It was what she expected from each of them. In fact, she had to second Ruby's statement.

"Tell us all about it, before Ruby pees her pants with excitement." Regina said, laughing at how the woman was shaking with excitement in her seat.

Emma went into the story of the night and the kiss. She couldn't help but to grin like a child on Christmas morning when she described how she felt finally kissing him.

"I had dreamt about that moment for years, and now that it happened, it was so much more than I had ever expected. I had never been kissed like that before. It was intense, but passionate and loving." Emma gushed.

They spent the rest of brunch discussing Killian's presence, all the while Emma's fears were drifting away. She knew that there was a chance that Killian could leave again, that he could break her heart all over again, but Mary Margaret was right, love was worth it. He was worth it.

* * *

KILLIAN'S POV

Killian woke up the next morning in a state of euphoria. He had finally gone on a date with Emma last night, and even though there were ups and downs, it was the best night of his life so far. He was surprised for sure to hear about Emma's time after he left, about Henry's father and conception, yet at the same time he felt overwhelmed with joy that she would trust him with her story.

He had spent the past ten years with intense anger at how he left, and now that he was back, he was going to make sure that she never was hurt again. He would spend each day for the rest of his life apologizing for putting her through such an ordeal. Even though he wasn't primarily responsible for Henry being alive, he still felt the need to apologize to her for that, because if he really thought about it, he felt at fault. She had mentioned to him that she wanted him to be her first; her last, and he had wanted the same thing. In fact, he was actually a bit jealous of this Neal lad when Emma mentioned him: it should have been him to be with Emma her first time, it should have been him to be Henry's father. The thought was only in his head for a minute, but it was there. He should have acted sooner in high school, he should have told her what was going on in his life. He was going to spend the rest of his life making it up to her and he was going to make sure that she got the life she deserved.

He climbed out of bed and grabbed his phone to text Graham. Graham may only be a deputy for the local force, but he also knew some of the local realtors. He had found a place for his business to grow; now he just needed to find a place for his family to grow.

**KILLIAN: Hey mate, can you meet me in thirty minutes. I need to take a look at some houses.**

**GRAHAM: Sure, Ruby and the girls are at brunch, so I am free. Meet you at the high school!**

Killian decided that bringing Lily along wouldn't be the best thing. Yes, what she had to say mattered, but he also wanted to surprise her with a real home. They hadn't lived in a real home: always staying in flats or townhomes in London. But here, he wanted her to have a perfect childhood, with a house that had a large yard and a pool. He wanted to make her happy, but he also wanted to make another two people happy with his choice too. So instead of Lily going with him, he called Smee over to watch her.

When Smee arrived a few minutes later, Lily ran into the man's arms. Many would think that Killian having Smee babysit Lily was wrong or stupid: Smee was his assistance, not his babysitter, but Smee had been watching her since Killian came over to London and his sister loved the man almost as much as she loved her brother.

Killian drove past the hospital and back to the high school he once attended. Memories flooded through his mind again, the same way they had a few nights before when he rushed Lily to the hospital. He had loved his time at the school. He was glad Graham had asked to meet here: he wanted a house in this school district; he wanted Lily to go to the same school he did. The neighborhood he grew up in was one of the best in the area, and he couldn't wait to give Lily the opportunities he had.

"Hey mate, how was the date last night?" Graham asked him as he got out of the car.

"Bloody fantastic!" Killian confessed. "But you know at the same time, I'm worried. I can tell that she is still hiding behind her walls. I am worried that she will never be able to lose her fear and just be herself again. I understand that I shattered her when I left, but I am having a hard time imagining Emma as someone completely different from the girl I loved. I hated myself every day for what I put her through, for what I put all of you through, but I had to make sure that everyone was safe and that you all continued on with your lives in a way you all deserved. She told me about Henry and Neal, and how just my leaving changed who she was."

Graham interrupted, "what do you mean she told you about Henry and Neal?"

"She told me about how after I left, she became a different person. How she started to drink a lot and party. I just cannot picture Emma like that. I know I hurt her, but I didn't think I could cause her to completely change her personality. To hear her tell me about how she met Neal and about Henry, I was just so surprised and upset about it. Not upset with her, but with myself. If I hadn't left, then…" Killian was suddenly interrupted.

"Listen, don't go there. I know you think that your departure caused Emma to have all these issues, but what has happened is in the past. Emma doesn't hold any of that against you. Sure, she is angry that you left and how you left, but she doesn't blame you for anything that happened after. Also, if she is talking to you about Neal, her walls are already down. It sounds like she has told you more about Neal than she has the rest of us." Graham said.

"What do you mean?" Killian asked.

"Well, we only met Neal twice, I think. Emma didn't really tell us much about him. We just knew they met at a party and he was Henry's father. She had shown up at Mary Margaret's dorm one night in tears, saying that Neal died in a car accident and that she was all alone. A week later all the girls moved out of their dorms and moved into Emma's grandparent's old house. That was the last we ever heard about Neal and we never spoke of him again." Graham added.

Killian was a bit surprised that Graham was saying that Emma didn't talk to their group. They had always been so supportive of each other, always telling each other their secrets. Sure, Killian had been her best friend, but Emma had always been able to talk to the girls too.

Killian was getting upset. He knew that Emma was going to be hurt when he left, but he thought the group would take care of her, and now hearing that they didn't really know the story of Neal and Emma upset him. Why didn't they take care of her? But he also was angry with himself. He knew that this was his fault.

Graham continued, "We were there for her as much as we could have been. When you left though, her life shattered, and we couldn't only help so much. We tried to glue her life back together, but she had to do some of that repair too, and some of the pieces just got glued back differently than before. She isn't going to be the same girl you fell in love with. She dealt with so much, from you leaving, to Henry's father dying, to Henry being born, to medical school and a lot of judgments. She did the best she could, and for what it is worth: she has done a terrific job and truly has raised a wonderful boy and has done amazing things with her life. "

With Graham's explanation Killian started to realize exactly what had been worrying him about the previous night. Emma wasn't the same girl he had fallen in love with, she had turned into something so much more. She had turned into such a strong woman, who truly deserved the world.

"I guess underneath it all, I am just worried that I am not going to be enough for her anymore. That what I felt for her years ago will not be enough will be different." Killian confessed. "I love that woman. She had always been my everything, even when I didn't realize what that meant. I will always love her. That's why I left, and in the end, that is why I came back. Yet, what if the love I have for her isn't what she needs, what if it isn't good enough?"

"Mate, what you felt for Emma ten years ago may have been real, but it was new and you were young. Love doesn't stay the same, it changes, and it evolves. It doesn't lessen what it was, but it makes it stronger. I thought I loved Ruby in high school, but as the years went on, I realized what I felt for her was just a puppy love. Yes, it was love, but it has grown over time. What I realized was that no matter what, love, and unconditional love will always be good enough." Graham advised.

"I just want her to know that I am here. I am not leaving; I will never make her feel like she isn't good enough ever again. I never want her to think that she is a problem, especially when she is the answer to everything for me. I am going to spend my entire life making sure that she realizes that. I will never stop apologizing for what I did to her. I will never stop loving her." Killian said.

"That's amazing mate. So what do you need my help with then?" Graham asked. They had been talking outside in the parking lot for a while now, and it was time for Killian to tell Graham exactly what he was going to do to win Emma back, and make sure that she knew he would be there forever.

"I need you to help me find a house." Killian said, "and it needs to be the perfect one."

"OK." Graham said, "I texted Blue this morning and she has a few options that she thinks will work. She didn't know your price point, but I told her not to set one, as long as it was in our old neighborhood, you would be happy with the listings. I printed out the listings she sent."

Killian was taking a look at the pictures when his eyes landed on one listing that he just knew would be perfect. The house staring back at him was one that he had dreamed about living in since he had moved into the neighborhood years ago. His dream home was staring up at him.


	8. Chapter 8

CHAPTER EIGHT

EMMA'S POV

Summer was finally here. After brunch with the girls, Emma decided to walk around the old part of town for a bit, just to make the most of the weather. It wasn't too humid and hot yet, and Emma decided that she would take the opportunity to just wonder around. She had started to do that when she was pregnant with Henry. Many nights she found herself just walking around the neighborhood the girls moved into. She never really thought of anything during her walks, they just helped to clear the air. It made everything simpler. All her worries would melt away during her walks. Today was no different.

When she got home from her walk, she finally was able to think straight about the night before and what everything actually meant. Killian's return has caused old feelings to resurface, part of her was scared. A larger part of her was excited, to see what could happen. She had once loved the man, and now she could love him again. She only needed to let herself be confident, she needed to remove any self doubt and not think about what could happen, but think about the here and now: and right now, Emma wanted to hang out by the pool and enjoy the weekend with her son.

Henry was already playing in the pool when Emma came out the door leading to the backyard. The house she owned with Regina and Robin were perfect for their little family. The two floors upstairs belonged to the happy couple. The basement floor was actually converted into a two bedroom apartment - complete with a little kitchenette and bathrooms. When they had found the house a couple years earlier, Henry had been so exited to be living with Roland and the Hoods. Henry loved all his "aunts" but Regina was by far his favorite. Emma suspected it was because Regina was the one who always offered to babysit when he was little, and held him first when he was born.

Emma set her phone down on the table next to her lounge chair and opened her towel. She was determined to soak up up the sun. She lathered on sunscreen and yelled for Henry to come and put some on as well. Regina and Robin were playing with Roland in the shallow end of the pool, so Henry had the deeper end all to himself.

"So mom, how did it go last night?" Henry questioned. She had told him she had a date, only after asking him if it was OK with him that she go out.

"Well kid, I have to say it was different than what I expected, but it was good." Emma smiled. Yes, that date was good, even with all the angsty parts. Overall, Emma had a wonderful night.

"Good. You know I wasn't so sure I was happy with you going out with that guy, but now I am glad you did. You seem so happy." Henry winked and moved away to do a canon ball back into water. Emma giggled as she got splashed with some water. She was glad Henry was OK with the date, and was OK with that fact it was Killian who took her. She had mentioned that she was going out with someone who had hurt her in the past, but she didn't go into details, so she was glad that he was OK with it now.

Emma's phone started to vibrate on the table next to her

**KILLIAN: Afternoon love. I just wanted to say that I had an amazing time with you last night. It was perfect :) Can't wait to do it again.**

Emma's smile was getting bigger by the second. He had actually had a good time last night. She was sure that he had, what with the kiss and all, but she was still worried that her prior confession had ruined the whole night. Now here he was, insinuating that they will be going out on another date.

**EMMA: A bit cocky there don't you think. What makes you think there will be a next time? ;)**

**KILLIAN: Oh, I know there will be a next time, because this is me asking you out. Emma, will you go out with me again?**

**EMMA: I guess that can be arranged. :)**

**KILLIAN: Perfect. How about next Saturday? I'll plan the whole thing; all you have to do is show up.**

**EMMA: Sounds like a plan. Now the question is, what should I do until then?**

**KILLIAN: Oh, there are plenty of activities that can keep you occupied until then! ;) What are you doing right now?**

**EMMA: Just relaxing by the pool, Henry is having a blast. It's the first real weekend where we can enjoy the pool. But you are right, I am sure there are more exciting activities that I could get into ;)**

**KILLIAN: Bloody minx. You did always enjoy being around water love. Have a good afternoon and don't forget your sunscreen!**

Emma was smiling through the whole conversation and everyone around took notice. She was practically giddy. She was actually outright flirting with Killian, and she had accepted a second date with him. She was touched that he remembered her love for all types of water, and it warmed her heart that he was thinking about her. She hadn't been able to really do much of anything that day except for think about him and that good night kiss.

* * *

Since Killian had asked her out again, her week went slower. She was looking forward to Saturday, and it just couldn't seem any further away. Sunday didn't feel bad; she spent the day with Henry in the city at the museums. Henry's love for history and stories kept them frequent visitors at the Smithsonian. No matter how many times he had visited, he could always find something new to read about or stare at. This particular weekend they visited the Museum of American History and Henry spent a good two hours in one exhibit room, reading everything he could on the old books found in the room, then looking up more information about them on his phone. Emma had spent the time texting with Killian. Their conversation was like a throwback to high school, with Killian asking Emma silly questions and making her explain why she answered the way she did. He had asked her if her favorite animal was still the swan and why. He asked her about her favorite sports teams, about her favorite trip during college, about her favorite moment at the beach, and her favorite moment with Henry. The conversation flowed easily and was the highlight of Emma's day.

Monday, however, was a different story. Emma didn't seem to want to get out of bed, every muscle in her body ached and her head hurt. She hadn't slept well that night, even though she was exhausted from the previous day's adventures with her son. She tossed and turned, and sleep eluded her. It wasn't until around two a.m. that she finally fell asleep. She dragged herself into work and drank way more coffee than she should have. It was a long day at work, but not the kind of long day that Emma lived for. Normally long days would mean surgeries, and lots of them. Today though, was filled with scut, scut, and more scut. Scut was the worst: running labs, charting, doing errands for the attendings. There were no surgeries for the residents to sit in on, and many of them were behind in charts, so they spent the day sitting in the lounge charting, only getting up to check vital signs and to answer pages. By the end of the day Emma's hand cramped and her back was stiff. She was hoping to get some texts from Killian though out the day, however, he texted her that morning with an apology that he was going to be very busy at work, but that he wished he could be talking to her instead. She even found herself walking by Lily's room a couple of times. She knew the Jones' family wouldn't be there, but she would be lying if she said she didn't wish they would be.

Tuesday was actually better. Emma got to do two surgeries, and while they weren't solo surgeries, they were still pretty incredible. She got to see her billionth tonsillectomy (ok, a billion is an exaggeration, but she felt like she had seem them twenty-four/seven), and she got to see an amputation of a young girls arm. It was depressing to say the least: the young girl was diagnosed with stage IV bone cancer in her left arm, and to stop the spread of the cancer, they had to amputate, as all other options had been used. Normally in these situations, Emma would call on Mary Margaret to help her. Emma's mothering instincts sometimes kicked in a bit too hard, making it hard to be a pediatric surgeon, but Mary Margaret was always able to get her back on track. However, that day she didn't call Mary Margaret: she texted Killian. They had only texted once that morning - a quick good morning and hope everything is good. Killian responded quick to her text, repaying the sentiment and saying he was sorry he was so busy with the company. However, she needed to talk to him.

**EMMA: Hey sailor - so my day officially sucks. :(**

His response came rather quickly. It surprised her, considering how busy he had been, but made her feel special. He was taking the time to talk to her, putting her first. She was also surprised to see that she had actually used one of the nicknames she had given him in high school. Out of their group, Killian was the best on water. He always wanted to go sailing and he was even on crew at their school - so one day she started to call him sailor, and she could tell he liked it so much, so she never stopped.

**KILLIAN: What's the issue love? What can I do to help?**

**EMMA: I just had a really hard case, and we had to amputate a young girl's arm. I get depressed when I get cancer patients on the floor. These kids have so much to do in life, and there is only so much I can do.**

**KILLIAN: I am so sorry love. There is no way that I could do what you do. You have always been the protector and I know it is hard for you to just sit back and do nothing, but you are doing everything you can for those kids. Lily told me how you comforted her when she was scared right before her surgery, and I can never thank you enough for that. You do the same thing with all of your patients. You really are making their lives better, even if it is only for a minute.**

Emma sighed. How did he always know what to say to make her feel better? In high school, she always seemed to go to him with her problems. She trusted her other friends, but they never knew what she needed. Killian though, he always knew what to say or do to make her feel better. He knew what she needed to hear. He was right, while she could only do so much, she was making things better for the kids, even if just meant comforting them for a couple of minutes.

She thanked him and went back to her day, finishing charts and checking vitals. She checked in on the young girl whose arm she removed. The little girl was just coming out of anesthesia and was a bit scared, and Emma didn't hesitate to take the girl's other hand and tell her how things will be OK. She told the little girl a story of a princess and a pirate who run away on adventures together. She felt better when she left the girl's side. While the surgery itself sucked, Emma felt good about the job she did that day.

As the week progressed Emma became more and more nervous for the weekend. What would their date be like? Would there be more confessions like last time? Would either one of them start to freak out? What if she didn't enjoy herself? Emma's mind was getting the best of her: she was a pro at playing the what if game, and right now she wasn't winning. She just wanted things to go smoothly, she wanted to see if there was a spark there. Sure their first date ended in an earth shattering kiss, but would she feel that same way with a second kiss? Was the reaction from the first kiss just there because it was her first real kiss in years and it was with the guy she used to love or was it a real reaction?

She had texted Killian steadily through Wednesday and Thursday: each of them relearning things about each other. She had found out that Killian bought his own boat but still had a dream of sailing it around the world one day. Killian had found out that while Emma no longer dreamed of learning to fly, she wanted to go gliding. They both still shared a love for rocky road ice cream, even though Emma told him that while she was pregnant with Henry she couldn't look at the stuff without hurling; so raspberry sorbet had become her go to desert while pregnant. They both used to love roller coasters, but now Emma go motion sick on them and Killian hadn't been on one since their senior trip to Busch Gardens: He tried to get Lily to go on one when she was eight, but she was petrified. So even though they were getting to know each other again, she was frightened. She was letting him back in so easily: her walls crumbling.

* * *

KILLIAN'S POV

His week had progressed similar to Emma's. She had been busy with work, scut she had called it. It sounded a lot like what he was doing with his business: pushing papers and doing busy work. He knew moving the company overseas would be a headache, but he never thought he would want to tear his own hair out. But there he sat, on a Friday morning, with a giant stack of papers in front of him in his new office space. He was determined to get through at least half of the stack before he left for the day, and hopefully by the month's end, his company would be legally located in the United Stated.

His office was located near the water at a local marina. While his company focused on building boats and bringing new engineering and designs to the field, he didn't want to be on a shipyard. His building had a gorgeous view of the Potomac River and the sunrises he could witness form his office were spectacular. His office was a deep shade of red and black. Emma used to make fun of him for his color choices in high school, calling him a pirate, but the colors suited him. He took a seat at his large oak desk; pictures of Lily and him filled the space. There was also a picture of Emma. He used to have to hide it when he worked in London, but once he was out of the mob's control, he proudly displayed the picture. It was of them at graduation - his last picture with his Swan. She was a beauty, a vision. They were both in long blue robes (their school color), wearing the traditional graduation hats. Emma's hair was cascading down her shoulders in gorgeous waves. He was beaming down at her, with a look that was mixed of passion and admiration. She beamed at the camera, a twinkle in her eyes. While he had many pictures of them together, and many more of just her, from their years together, this one was his favorite. All the other pictures sat in a album, which was always in his bedside drawer.

He had spent his free time this week planning his date with Emma tomorrow. He was hoping to spend the whole day with her, doing things they used to do together when they were young. He remembered their late night mini-golf games, sailing along the Potomac, picnics on the mall, riding the subway for hours - people watching, and his favorite riding around in his car in the middle of the night listening to their playlist and singing their hearts out. After his mother and Liam passed away, he was lost, yes he had his friends who supported him through the trials, but he never really felt like he was coping with the loss of his family until one fateful night. Emma had called him a couple of weeks after Liam passed away the summer before their junior year. She had been having a really crappy week: school work, her parents, and her siblings: nothing seemed to be going right for her. She called him begging him to come and pick her up. She said she didn't care where they went or what they did; she just had to get away. That night they drove down to Virginia Beach and sat on the beach just listening to the waves rolling in. The only thing Emma brought with her, other than her purse, was her CD case, filled to the brim with mix CDs she had made. She popped one in and they sang and laughed the whole way to the beach - the whole three hours. It was the first time in weeks that Killian had felt alive, felt whole. Sitting on the beach that night healed Killian. He began to properly grieve the loss of his brother. It was first time that she had seen Killian Jones cry - and that image of him silently sobbing on the beach changed the way they would look at each other for the rest of their lives. There are certain moments in your life, where something somehow shifts, where friendships grow deeper. That night was one of them.

A ring of his phone broke him from the memory.

**EMMA: So sailor, what are our plans for tomorrow?**

**KILLIAN: It's a surprise love, I'm not telling. :)**

**EMMA: Come on Jones, I need to know what to wear. I don't want you to show up in flannel and jeans and I'm wearing a ball gown!**

**KILLIAN: Fine, I will tell you what to wear, but that is it. We will be outside most of the day and well into the evening. Don't plan on being home early Swan. ;). Also you don't need to dress fancy for this. I plan on wearing shorts and a shirt - if you are wondering**

**EMMA: Perfect. I'll see you tomorrow.**

**KILLIAN: Around eleven love. Have a beautiful evening with your lad.**

Emma had told him the previous day that Regina and Robin would be watching Henry all day Saturday, so she wanted to take him out for games and pizza. She really was an amazing mom. Even though they hadn't actually spoken since their date - only exchanging texts since both were so busy - he could tell just how much she loved her son. When talking about her son, her texts seemed to come more quickly - like she didn't need to think about ways to brag about him or sing his praises. He could tell that Henry was the most important person in her life.

* * *

Killian pulled up to Emma's house at ten fifty. He hadn't really gotten a good look at the house when he dropped her off the other night. At first, he was just concerned about making sure she had a good time and was satisfied with their evening, but then all he could think about was that bloody kiss. His vision was blurry after that. He doesn't even remember how he made it home. Now he could see the charm of the house. It fit Emma's personality perfectly. It was gorgeous, but not in a way that was over the top. It had Ivy running up the sides of the door and little red hatches on the window. It looked like it belonged in a fairytale. He could picture Emma and Henry playing in the front yard when he was little, rolling down the slight hill in the front.

He got out of his car and was moving towards the front door when it swung open. Henry Swan was waiting in the entrance. He had a look on his face that made Killian chuckle. The lad was trying to give the face that fathers gave their daughter's dates when the boys came to the front door. The face that said, don't fuck with my daughter, because I am not afraid of going to jail. That was the face Henry was trying to give, but it didn't quite work. However, Killian was going to play along.

"Good Morning sir, I am here to pick up your mother." Killian said, reaching out to shake Henry's hand.

"Morning, she will be up in a minute." Henry responded taking Killian's hand. The lad had a strong handshake, and Killian could tell he was trying to intimidate him. He was actually quite proud of the lad. They had only met for a minute the other night, but already he was so proud of the boy Emma was raising. He was protective of his mother, just like how Emma was protective of the group. He could see the determination in his eyes, as it was the same determination Emma got when she was trying to get something done.

"Thank you Henry. I hope you had a wonderful time last night with your mother. She said you all went for pizza and arcade games. Sounds like a lot of fun!" Killian said, as Henry led him inside.

"It was so much fun!" Henry replied, his excitement over the night before overcame his protective stance. "I actually beat mom at PacMan for the first time. Sometimes she lets me win, but this time I actually won without any cheating! It was so cool!"

Killian laughed at his statement. "Sounds like you had a wonderful night. Now, any plans for today with the Hood family?"

"Oh yeah, Regina is taking Roland and I to the movies in a little bit. I really don't want to go see Zootopia, but Roland loves that movie." Henry said sounding a bit annoyed. "But afterwards, Robin is going to take us to the waterpark and then fishing! So I guess I can sit through a kids movie."

"Well lad, it sounds like you have a really exciting day planned." Killian said

"Where are you planning on taking my mom?" Henry asked, the father routine coming back a bit.

"I am not really sure I should tell you mate, I want it to be a surprise, and how do I know that your mom isn't making you ask this so that she can know what the surprise is?" Killian questioned, teasing the lad a bit. He knew Emma wouldn't do that to her son, but it was still fun to joke about with her kid.

"Oh come on Killian, please. I promise she won't find out!" Henry begged.

"OK lad. I plan on taking her sailing on the river, a picnic on the mall, and maybe even some mini golf." Killian said.

"She'll love it! She hasn't been sailing since high school: at least that is what she said. She said boats hold a special place in her heart. And she is so lucky to be going to mini golf I love playing that with her - she used to take me all the time when I was little, said it helped her feel better when she was sad. But watch out, she cheats!" Henry teased.

"Who cheats?" Came a voice from behind them. Emma was standing in the doorway to the living room. She was a vision - her hair pulled into a ponytail, which held her blonde curls perfectly. Little wisps of hair framed her face. She had on light makeup, and her eyes sparkled and seemed greener than he had ever seen. She was in a pair of jeans, that she paired with Sperry's and a plain t-shirt. He smiled when he saw the shoes. She had mentioned in years past that she hated wearing shoes if they weren't boots or flip-flops. The only time he ever saw her in shoes other than those she preferred were when she wore her Sperry's when they went sailing.

"No one." Henry said with a smile. He got up off the couch and gave his mom a hug, "OK you two crazy kids, have fun! Killian, she better be home by eleven." he said sternly.

Emma giggled, and hugged him back "Who made you the parent of this family? And since when do I have a curfew?" she asked him jokingly.

"Since I saw it on a TV show a couple of nights ago. I have wanted to say it since. Don't worry, you're still the mom." he said smiling. The two broke into laughter. Killian couldn't help but stare as he watched the pair exchange their goodbyes. They were the perfect little family.

"OK Kid, have fun today. Be nice to Roland OK? I know he sometimes annoys you, but he looks up to you. Follow all directions OK? Be safe. I love you." Emma said, as she started to move towards Killian, who was now standing at the door.

"OK mom. Have fun! I mean it!" Henry said as Emma opened the door to leave. Henry gave Killian one more glance - his father face back on - than turned and ran towards the kitchen.

"Sorry about him." Emma said once they were safely outside, "He just hasn't seen me go on any dates, so he worries a bit."

"It's OK Swan. He is a good lad, a lad who loves his mom. I found it quite adorable actually." Killian said as he opened the door for her.

"You know I can open my own door right?" Emma said, teasing him a bit like she used to in high school.

"Love, you know I am always gentleman, and opening doors for ladies is what I do best." He said with a wink. He moved around to his side and climbed in, excited to start his day with Emma.

"So Captain, where are we off to day?" She questioned as he started the car.

"Captain love?" He questioned. Sure she had called him sailor before and Jones was his normal nickname, but she had never called him Captain.

"Yeah, you told me you have your own boat now, which makes you Captain. I can't go around calling you sailor if you own the boat. My father would kill me if he heard me calling you sailor now. _Emma, you grew up in the Navy, you know better._" Emma said acting like her father. "So I'll ask again, where are we going Captain?"

Killian couldn't lie to himself, he liked the new nickname.

* * *

The day went perfectly if he did say so himself. He couldn't have asked for a better day. The weather was perfect - not too hot to have a picnic, not too humid to be outside, and the sky had the perfect amount of clouds. Killian told her he wouldn't tell her where they were going, but they were headed for the subway. The first stop of their date would be a picnic lunch in front of the Washington Monument. Tears formed in her eyes when they arrived and he pulled out the blanket from his basket.

"Oh my gods Killian? A picnic? Like we used to?" Emma asked, trying not to cry.

"Yes love, I thought it would be nice to do somethings that we used to do together. It's been a while hasn't it?" She nodded in response, grabbed his hand and sat down, ready to enjoy their time together.

After the picnic, which was mostly quite as they just ate and people watched, he held her hand as they walked around for a bit along the tidal basin. He loved this area in the spring, when the Cherry Blossoms were in bloom. He remembers the first time he really got to see them and enjoy the festival. It was his sophomore year, and Emma had wanted the group to go and see everything. She said she had seen them bloom in Japan, and now it was time to see them bloom here. He had never seen anything more striking than Emma standing near the water, wind catching her hair, moving through it. It was that day he decided he had to start carrying a camera around with them - to capture all the moments he was having with his favorite people. They spent three hours just walking around the basin. Who knew that one could spend that much time just walking; content with just holding the hand of the girl you were on a date with? All too soon he realized it was getting close to dinner time and he couldn't skip out on those plans. He led them back into the subway system and back to his car in Alexandria. The whole time he couldn't keep his eyes off her. Emma was always beautiful, but today, for some reason, she surpassed her own beauty. The sun had kissed her face just a bit, a hint of red was on her cheeks.

He drove her to the marina close to where they parked the car earlier. Henry had said that she loved sailing, but hadn't been since high school. When he saw her eyes light up, he actually became furious with himself. He had to have been the reason she hadn't been sailing since. It was something they used to do together when the weather was nice. In fact, they had been sailing the week before graduation. They had planned on sailing the boat down the coast and back up in August - right before school started. He had to break that promise and she hadn't been on a boat since. He was the reason she had to stop doing something that she loved, why she couldn't be on a boat again. He hated what he had done to her, and hopefully, this little adventure will help to heal them both, even just a little.

"I hope this is OK love, but I thought we could do dinner on my boat, sail around the area" Killian said, hoping that she would be willing to step aboard again. "Henry told me that you haven't been on a boat since high school. If i had known, I would have planned something else, but we used to love sailing together, and I was hoping that we could go on another trip."

Emma didn't answer, but what came next was so much better. Emma had been holding his hand since they got out of the car and walked down the dock. She turned to him when he asked the question. When he finished she just smiled and pulled him to her. Her lips were on him immediately. The kiss started soft, giving permission to the dinner and to the adventure. Quickly though, the kiss turned passionate. There was so much more to this kiss than their previous one. While the last kiss healed him in ways he didn't know he needed, this kiss was righted the world. Everything made sense with this kiss. Everything finally fell into place. As if her kiss had words, it said, we are here; we are together, nothing else matters.

* * *

EMMA'S POV

Emma rarely liked to use words like perfect, amazing, magnificent, life changing, but that was all she could think about when she thought about the day she was having. Killian had pulled out all the stops. He had created a date that perfectly blended what they used to be with what they are now. They had done things they used to do as kids, but now they had something extra added in. They used to picnic on the mall all the time, but now the picnic included holding hands and champagne. Sure they used to walk along the tidal basin and people watch, but now it included an arm around her waist and talks of their children. Emma had spent the whole week worrying about the spark, wondering if it would still be there. She realized she had been worrying about nothing. The spark was most definitely still there, that familiar, comforting buzz that makes you feel safe. It wasn't the same though. The spark had changed just as their lives had. The spark had evolved, then years of a missing piece, had meant the energy had built up, only now being released.

When Killian had brought her to the marina, she was overwhelmed. She hadn't set foot on a boat since right before graduation. Hell, she had passed on a cruise with her family a couple years ago because she couldn't stand to be on a ship without him. He had promised her on their last trip that in August, when they both ended their summer jobs that they would sail the boat down the Virginia coastline to the Outer Banks where they were all going to vacation for a week before school started. When he left, and she realized that the dream of just the two of them sailing would never come true, she vowed never to get on board a ship again. She even had issues when she took Henry down to Norfolk to the Maritime Science Museum. It was located on an old Navy ship. It took her about an hour of inner chanting to get herself aboard the vessel - and it was only after she told herself that the boat was so old it couldn't move anymore and that it wasn't even really a ship anymore that her feet started to move. Even with all that past fear and anger bubbling to the surface, Emma was excited. She had always loved sailing - the wind in her hair, the gentle sway of the water, and the sounds of the gulls. The feeling of adventure made her heart sing.

As Killian moved to help her out of the car, she could see that he was upset. When he confessed that him and Henry had talked about her an sailing, she began to understand. He was still mad and upset about leaving. He said he would apologize for it every day and make it up to her, and so far he had. That is what today was. Yes, they were on a date, but Killian was also using it as an excuse to show her just how much he was sorry and just how much she meant to him. When he asked her if it was OK that they have dinner on the ship because he wanted another trip with her, she knew there was nothing she could say to make him understand just how OK this all was. She knew when Killian said another trip with her; he had secretly meant another shot, and hell yes she was going to give it to him - especially after today. She knew there was only one thing to do when he stopped talking.

She pulled him down to her, her lips immediately finding his. The kiss had started the same as the last one they shared. However, unlike last time, she used this kiss to show him just how OK she was with everything he had been doing for her the past week. She was always bad with expressing how she felt with her words: her emotions always getting the best of her, so too many times she could only express how she felt with something physical. She knew that she couldn't tell him how much it all meant and how she was so happy she was here, the words wouldn't sound right and the meaning wouldn't be substantial enough. She put all her feelings into that kiss. Her lips showing him just how much she was glad he was back. Passion started to move through her, the kiss deepening, much like her feelings for man who was holding her in his arms.

Killian pulled back a bit, ducking his head so he could look into her eyes. "Love, you OK? Not that I mind, I just want to make sure that this is OK."

"Of course it's OK you big dummy. It's more than OK. It's perfect." She said. She was unable to control the emotions that spread across her face. She couldn't be happier.

"Alright love, let's set sail." He said, pulling her towards his ship a few spaces down.

The boat wasn't what she pictured him having one day. It wasn't an older boat, which confused her a bit. Killian had said once that he wanted an old ship - one without modern convinces - one that had to be sailed by someone with skill. The boat in front of her though, was modern and sleek. However, the boat screamed Killian. There were parts that reminded her of the old sail ship he took her out on once. The wood coloring of the deck reminded her of the pirate ship they rode once while at the beach. This ship was the perfect mix of old Killian and new Killian.

"Permission to come aboard Captain?" Emma questioned, with a laugh in her voice, as Killian moved up the gangplank.

"Aye, permission granted lass. The Jolly Roger has never had such a beautiful lass onboard before, she couldn't be more happy to grant permission." Killian said, in his best Captain voice. He really was in the zone aboard a ship. He always took control and knew exactly what to do. Emma had always heard that people are made to do certain things. Her mother was made to be a teacher, her sister in law was made to help people, her brother was made to be a trauma surgeon - being a quick thinker and knowing what do to the instant something happened. Killian was made to be a Captain. He had a relationship with his ships, one Emma could never understand. It was like he felt everything the ship felt. He knew the waters and the weather - and knew it before it even happened. She was truly in awe of him.

* * *

They had reached their destination an hour after setting sail. The place was a nice secluded area away from the main trafficked area of the Potomac. Emma had been here a few times before with the group. They loved the place. The trees were amazing, and always made the sunsets look better - their green leaves mixing with the oranges and pinks of the sky. Killian had gone below to prepare dinner, refusing to let Emma help. He insisted that she stay on deck to watch as the night rolled in. It was only around seven o'clock, but the world was already starting to dim. The sun was still in the sky, but the colors were growing more intense by the minute. She was lying on the deck near the bow of the ship when Killian came back up with dinner.

They settled down at the table he had set up on the deck. She couldn't believe he had cooked the entire meal in the galley, and she couldn't believe he made her favorite meal: grilled cheese and onion rings. He called her a child when they were younger and she would cook this, claiming its something children eat, but Emma called it comfort food. As they ate they began to talk. First, the conversation started off simple - questions about Lily and Henry, questions about the group and what had happened during Killian's absence. They had begun this conversation during their last date, but there was so much to catch up on. So much had changed. Emma told him about the weddings that had happened, about the one they were planning for Ruby and Graham. When they started to discuss that, Emma could see Killian change. The light in his eyes went out a bit, and he became quite, no longer laughing at Ruby's attempts to date her way down the seaboard all while Graham chased after her until she realized that what she had with these men would be nothing compared to what she had with him.

Emma reached across the table, pulling Killian's hand into her, "What is it? What's wrong Killian?"

"Sorry love, nothing is wrong. Everything is fine." He replied to her. She knew he wasn't telling the truth. She had a knack for these things - her sixth sense is what her son called it. Emma was always able to tell when someone was lying. Always able to tell when someone was hiding the truth. In this moment, she could tell that Killian was not fine. Something in their conversation had shifted his mood.

"Killian, tell me. What is going on?" Emma asked. Killian's eyes met her and they were filled with distress. Emma went back through her conversation with him, hoping to find the reason Killian had become distant. She suddenly realized what it was. She had gotten the same look on her face when they talked about Henry during their first date. She hadn't wanted to speak about Neal, hadn't wanted to upset him with talk of another man. Emma's mind started to race, was there someone else in Killian's life that he didn't want Emma to know about.

"Well love, it seems like everyone else continued on in their lives, you included. We all had to do move on, we couldn't stay stuck in the past. You were talking about Ruby and her unwillingness to settle down with Graham, and it just got me thinking about some things in the past." Killian said. His eyes still filled with fear and regret.

"Killian, whatever it is, you can tell me. After you left, I made some mistakes, did some things I am not really proud of. I love Henry, but at times I wish I had waited to have him or wish I had waited in general. I would never take back what happened, because if I did, I wouldn't have the best thing in my life. But none of that changes that I did something I wasn't proud of." Emma started, moving around to where Killian sat. She couldn't stand the look that he had on his face. He had never judged her for what happened with Henry and Neal, in fact he seemed understanding and supportive of what happened. "You never judged me for my actions, so why can't you tell me what is going on?"

She could see him thinking about what she said. What had happened in the past ten years? She thought that he had told her everything he needed to say. She thought she had heard all that she needed to know.

"Swan, this isn't how I wanted to our date to go. I swear." Killian sighed. "But you are right, I have done things I am not proud of, and I am not talking about just leaving you."

Emma's thoughts drifted back to Killian's story. He had said his dad was involved with some bad guys – eluded that they were the mob. Was Killian involved with the mob? He said he had gotten out, that they were free. That couldn't be it.

"Whatever it is Killian, you can tell me. No more secrets." She smiled, squeezing his hand.

"No more secrets." He responded, letting a small slide onto his face. "You were so alone when I left, and you found solace with a man, and you may not be proud of yourself, but you needed someone. I found myself in the same situation. Towards the end of my first month in London, after a couple months in Dublin, I started to feel lonely. I missed you all the time, I missed my life, but I knew that that life was behind me and there was no going back to it. I was at the pub one day, drinking away my worries trying to think of a way to come back home, when this woman walked in. The woman changed my life." He sighed. She could see him wanting to say more, she nodded to keep him going. They would have no more secrets. "Her name was Milah."


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Here we are chapter nine. This chapter will hopefully clear up some questions you may have about Milah. Like I said last time, I really don't like how the show portrayed her and her marriage to Rumple, so I took a ton of liberty with her in this story. While I took liberty, it still doesn't end well for Milah, so be prepared for light talk of abuse and violence. Thanks for all the follows and favorites. Please comment - I need all the help I can get with reviews - please let me know what you like and don't like. This is my first fan fiction, so anything helps! Thanks again Clare for beta reading!

Killian's POV

It had been almost nine years since he had spoken of Milah. Living in Dublin, then London, Killian didn't have many friends. He couldn't have many friends. Sure he had business associates he was friendly with, but you can't really talk about your sex life with them. It had been a couple of months since he left the United States and Emma behind. He had stayed in Dublin only four months - enough to get everything squared away with the company in order to move it to London and for Lily to spend time with her father before he passed away, which he did about two months after his arrival. He hated Dublin, and couldn't stand to be there any longer. Because of the move, he never really had the opportunity to get to know anyone in the Dublin offices or make friends. He was living out of a hotel after all - refusing to live in the house his father owned. In fact, selling the house was the first thing he did after his father's passing.

Emma was staring at Killian, while thoughts ran wild in his head. He was remembering the move, remembering trying to find an appropriate house in London for him and his new sister. He knew he needed to continue with his story, but found the words difficult to say. How was he to tell her about Milah? How was he to explain what transpired with her? Once the story was out, there was no hiding from his past. Could Emma still love him after everything that happened? He looked up at the woman next to him.

The sun was finally setting, warm reds and oranges filling the sky, making Emma look even more beautiful. Her hair was vibrant, reflecting some of the pinks and reds that filled the sky. Her eyes were sparkling - they will filled with comfort, yet had a speck of worry in them. He knew that the emotion wasn't in fear of what he was going to say, but worry about him. It was that look that helped him finally begin to tell his story.

"I had moved to London about four months after leaving. I stayed in Dublin before that, just long enough to get our ducks in a row after my father passed." Killian felt a squeeze in his hand as he began to talk about his father's passing. He looked down at their still entwined hands; smiling at the comfort she was giving him. "Things started out OK, I was so busy those first three weeks, so I had no time to think: I didn't have to think about missing you, I didn't have to think about what I left behind. I was constantly working and taking care of Lily - she still didn't have a nanny and I was still only nineteen. Once we were settled, and she had a nanny in place, I started to have a bit more free time after work ended: that is when the memories started to come. Nights were the worst. I would sit up for hours just thinking about the life I left behind. I was starting to doubt everything I had done. What was worse, was that I kept looking at your social media - I would stay up all night staring at your profile. Just seeing your face both comforted and pained me. One night, I couldn't stand the pain any longer. I called Smee, who had worked for my father as his personal assistant. He came right over to watch Lily and I headed out to a pub down the street. I was on my fifth beer when she walked in."

Killian could remember exactly how he felt when she walked in. Milah was almost the complete opposite of Emma - yet it was hard for him to compare the two. Milah was much older than him, some grey hairs floated around in her long black hair. She had coffee brown eyes that stared deep into his soul. When he looked into her eyes, as she sat down next to him at the bar, he felt something similar to what he felt when he looked in Emma's. There was instant attraction to her, an instant connection. He used to think about why he had this intense and deep connection to Milah - especially once he got to know her. Like he said, she was the complete opposite of Emma. Maybe he needed a motherly touch, maybe he needed someone to keep him in his place: he never really found out, but he knew that what he had with Milah was special and important.

"Milah sat down next to me, and within a minute I was already enamored. I couldn't look anywhere else, I didn't want to. Here I was in all my childhood glory, asking to buy this much older woman a drink. She of course accepted, and things went from there. We spent the next twenty minutes flirting very heavily and having at least five shots of tequila each. She knew just what to say and do to make me forget all about you." Killian hadn't meant for the confession to come out so harsh. He had loved Emma so fiercely, yet here he was saying that an older woman was able to make him forget his love in a couple of minutes. Killian looked to Emma, expecting to see her upset or angry, but the look she had on her face was one of understanding.

"I know what you mean." She said, "Neal made me feel the same way. I still don't understand how he made me forget you so quickly, but I suspect it had something to do with all the alcohol in my system and my own desire not to hurt anymore."

What she said rang true. He had gone out hoping to drink away his thoughts. "I am sorry love, I truly am. I was hurting so bad, and I just couldn't stand to think about you anymore. It hurt too much." He said, pain filing his voice. "I just needed to not feel that way anymore and Milah was giving me the opportunity to move on, to get better. I jumped at the chance. I am still not really sure who initiated what, but before I knew it, we were going at it outside the bar. Then I was taking her back to my loft. Like you love, I was a virgin when I met Milah. I had the same thoughts you had actually; I wanted you to be my first and my last. I wanted everything with you love, but I thought at the time that was impossible. I thought that sleeping with Milah would remove my pain, and would help to numb what I was feeling, and it did. I am sorry to say it did."

He couldn't remember too much of that night. He would be lying to himself if he said he was only a little bit drunk. He was smashed that night. What he does remember was Milah's lips, her kind gestures that told him everything would one day be all right. He remembers holding her waist on the walk back to his apartment. He remembers Smee asking him why someone was with him and yelling at Smee to mind his own fucking business for once. He remembers the feel of her skin on his skin, her moans and her guidance. She taught him a lot about pleasuring a woman. He remembers waking up the next morning with a killer headache that made him curse whoever decided that shots of tequila were a good thing.

"I took Milah home that night, and things progressed from there. She was with me when I woke up the next morning and proceeded to vomit all the remnants of our night's activities. We began to see each other regularly after that. She was a schoolteacher nearby, so during her long lunch breaks and after school, she would come over. Drinking hadn't been helping numb the pain I was feeling over you, but sex was. I know it sounds stupid, and ridiculous, but it's true. During those moments, I didn't think of you, and it helped. Soon, it wasn't the sex that helped, it was Milah. Within a month I was fully engrossed with her. She became my everything. Looking back now, I can't believe how stupid I was. I told you earlier that the reason I left was because I was trying to keep everyone safe, which I was, but here I was less than six months later, getting involved with a woman. My plan had been to be alone, I didn't deserve happiness, I didn't deserve love: but that plan fell to shit." He really had planned on being alone. Him and his hand had become the best of friends since leaving the states. He couldn't risk anyone getting close to them; he couldn't afford anyone else's life to be put in danger. Yet when Milah woke up with him the next morning, he knew he could never go back. Milah comforted him, she made things better, and he knew now just how selfish it was to keep her around: if he truly loved her, he would have sent her away, for her own good.

He looked at Emma, unsure to what she was thinking. He had listened to her whole story with Neal, and even though it was hard on him to hear that Emma was with someone else, had given herself to someone else in a way so special, he knew it was nothing compared to his confession about Milah. Neal was a one time thing for Emma, she hadn't loved him: yet he had gone off and fallen in love with someone else. He couldn't understand how Emma was still sitting next to him, with her hand in his, drawing circles over the back of his hand. She didn't look upset, yet she didn't look happy.

"I started dating her, but I tried to keep it a secret. We would never really go out, I couldn't let anyone know that there was another way to get to me. I never really explained to you what my father was involved with: he had been smuggling money and drugs into the country for Gold. When he died and I took over, I struck a new deal with Gold. I would no longer be doing business like that with him, but for five years, I would pay him back what he paid my father. Thankfully, Gold took the deal - once I threw in an additional five percent on top of the pay back. In essence, I was giving back all the money my father took from Gold, plus interest. However, Gold was known for going back on his deals after a couple of months - striking up new bargains and kidnapping family members and loved ones, torturing them until the new deal was agreed upon. I knew Gold would never come after Lily once I met him - Neal's mother made it well know in the community he was never to touch a child, but adults were fair game. It was because of all this I had to make sure they never knew of you all, and it was why I had to keep my relationship with Milah a secret." He said. He had wanted to spare Emma the details of what Gold does, but they had said no more secrets - it was all going to come out, and come out tonight.

Emma was still quiet. It worried him that she hadn't said anything since he started really talking about Milah.

"Do you want me to continue love?" he questioned. He didn't want to upset her or scare her off, but he knew he needed to tell her everything.

"Yes, please. I know it is hard for you to talk about Killian, I see it in your eyes." She responded.

"Are you sure, I don't want to upset you." he asked her, making sure that she wanted to hear the rest.

"Yes, what happened in the past happened Killian. Am I a bit jealous that another woman got to have your heart for a while, yes? Am I a bit upset with myself for being mad at you for so many years all because you were just trying to protect me, yes? But, I am not upset with you. I decided something this week; I want to start over. I want a fresh start with you, and that requires us to be honest, to say things that may hurt the other. You said you weren't going anywhere, and I am not either." She said, scooting a bit closer to him. He leaned over and pecked her cheek, silently thanking her for everything.

"OK." he began again, "Like I said, I tried to keep our relationship private, but as it turns out, Gold had people everywhere. I didn't know he had someone bug my phone and follow me on a daily basis. Remember when I told you I was there the day Gold found out Neal had died? I was here because of Milah. I told you that after a few months of a deal, Gold liked to alter things. He had found out that I was dating Milah, so he finally had leverage over me. He took her one morning in February - about three days before Neal died. He sent information to me saying that he had a new deal to strike with me, and that if I wanted to see her again; I was to show up in three days at his place in Dublin. He took her while she was on her way to see me. I had actually planned on letting her meet Lily that day. I had Smee watch Lily while I went to get her. Those three days were torture to me. During the couple months we dated, I fell in love with Milah - and I know that must hurt to her me say it, but I cannot lie. I did love her; she was beginning to heal me, to help me. She didn't know that I had fallen in love with her, but I could tell she loved me too. I showed up to his house that fateful day, and while we were discussing a new contract, he received the news about Neal. He sent me away immediately, never telling me about Milah or anything else. For five days I waited, for five days I didn't know where my life was going. However, during that time I wasn't only thinking about Milah. For some reason, I kept thinking about you, about how I could have put you in that danger too. The night I met Milah I was temped to call you, to apologize, to beg you to come to me. You don't know how thankful I am that I had strength to stay away, because if I hadn't it could have been you in Gold's possession, and even thought it hurt me to have Milah with him, I knew him having you would out right kill me."

He didn't realize that he had started to cry until he felt her hand reach up to his face and wipe a stray tear away. As Emma wiped his tear away, Killian moved into her arms, cradling his head in the crook of her neck, breathing her in. While it was painful to talk about Milah, it was more painful for him to say aloud all the fears he had about Gold and Emma. He had realized while Milah was gone that while he did love her, his love for her would never surpass the feelings he had for Emma.

* * *

_Milah was coming over for dinner and Killian had spent the afternoon preparing for it. He had been seeing her for a couple months, and things were going great. He rarely thought of Emma or his old life anymore, the only time memories flooded his mind were when he was trying to sleep and Milah wasn't beside him. Most nights she stayed with him, but there had been a couple of nights that he kept her away, something telling him that she shouldn't be there. Those nights he would lie awake thinking of the past. He always ended up in a fitful sleep those nights, nightmares waking him every couple of minutes._

_This dinner was going to be hard for him. He thought their relationship was getting serious; Milah had brought over clothing already to put in his closet. She referred to his bed as their bed and she wanted him to meet her family soon. When she had mentioned that, he thought it would be best to let Milah know about his former life. She had asked him before how he was able to get a company at such a young age and why he was watching his sister, but he was never able to tell her the story. He always told her that it was a story for another night, and tonight was the night. He couldn't keep lying to her. He was falling, and falling hard._

_He never thought he would be given an opportunity for love again, not after Emma, not after what he put her through. He had told himself not to get involved with anyone, that it was too much of a danger. That was why he was going to talk to Milah tonight. He wasn't going to make the same mistake again, he wasn't going to let love get away. He was going to tell Milah everything, and if she was OK with it all, with the danger, with the unexpected, then they could continue their lives together._

_Milah had walked into the room as Killian was finishing up setting the table. He wanted to make the dinner as romantic as possible, to try to offset the hurt he knew he was going to cause her. He was also trying to impress her. Milah was about fifteen years his senior, and he knew that he needed to keep her interested. The past couple of months had been such a learning experience - filled with Milah teaching him how to care for Lily, how to care for himself, and most importantly (or so he thought) taking care of a woman. The sex was amazing - it had to be if he was having sex with a good looking woman multiple times a day. Milah was amazing. She made everything better, made him better._

"_Hello Kil, what is this?" She questioned, looking around the room at the grandeur he set up._

"_I thought you deserved a nice dinner and something special. Also, I was hoping that we could talk, about my past." He said, dipping his head a bit in shame._

"_Why of course." She said, pulling him into a searing kiss. Boy did Milah know how to kiss, and she had been giving his lessons on it since day one._

_Once they were seated, Killian took a deep breath and began his story. He told Milah about how his father left his mother and brother when he was only twelve, while his mother was sick with cancer. They moved to the states a couple of months later to stay with a family friend. His mother passed away when he was thirteen leaving just him and his brother. Liam was six years older than he was, so they moved into an apartment together while Liam worked and Killian went to school. He told her how he made amazing friends while there, and how they changed his life forever. He told her about Emma and how she was his best friend, and helped him through Liam's death during his junior year of high school. He told her about his father showing up and Lily's appearance. He told her everything: why he left, how he was hurting, how he loved Emma but he had feelings for her too and it confused him at times, how he was scared he couldn't protect everyone. He told her all his secrets._

_Milah held him for the longest time, soothing him when necessary. She held his hand through his entire story - which ended up taking a good hour to explain. She was there she hadn't left. She explained to Killian that she was there for him and nothing was going to scare her away. She was in this for the long haul. Killian was still emotional though, still questioning everything, still trying to explain, so Milah did the only thing she knew would shut him up. She took him by the arm and dragged him to the bedroom, where she proceeded to show him just how much she cared and just how much she was there._

_When he woke the next morning, Milah was rubbing circles into chest, through his dense chest hair. He smiled down at her and she smiled back._

"_Don't worry baby, I am not going anywhere. Emma sounds like a lovely girl, but you did what was best for her and for you. I know you feel guilty for everything, but stop. It isn't your fault. You are such a brave man and I am so glad to be with you." She kissed him on the lips with her statement._

* * *

When he had calmed down a bit, he began his story again.

"Five days I waited in a hotel. Five days I drove by that man's house hoping that I would get a call asking me to come and collect what belonged to me. Finally I did get the call. I drove over to the house. I am not really sure how I made it to the house, everything was a blur. I was actually ecstatic, I was going to get to see her and take her home. I knew I would do whatever Gold wanted me to do to get her back. I would have started to sell drugs and smuggle things for him - like my father had - if it meant I could be with Milah again." He said. He does remember praying that she would be all right on his way over, asking for forgiveness for the sins he was sure he would have to do in order to keep her. But he would rather have Milah in his life and spend a life in damnation, than spend it without her.

"I remember walking into Gold's office, and the whole placed seemed different. The whole feel of the place seemed different, somber. I actually felt pity for a moment for the bastard. He had just lost a son he deserved to grieve. I actually felt bad for being upset with him. That was until I saw what laid on the floor of the room." Tears began to stream faster down his face. He was trembling, but he could feel Emma wrap her arms around him, holding him tight. For the rest of his life, he would never be able to get the sight of what he saw out of his head.

"Lying on the floor was Milah, she was so bloody and bruised. She had a giant cut on her face and her left arm was bandaged in a sling. I could tell it had been broken and not set, just placed there. She wasn't moving, except I could tell she was breathing. I could tell she was in pain, because I felt it. Gold was sitting behind his desk; a smug look was on his face. He was actually smiling while he watched me move towards her. He told me not to touch her or she would die. It was then that he proceeded to tell me a story. A story of how he knew about me from the start. He knew what my father had done to my family and me. He knew about my mother passing and Liam's death. He knew about the friends, he knew about you." With that confession, Emma pulled back. He could see the fear and the surprise on her face.

"That bastard. He knew about me? He knew about me from you? I mean Neal told me he told his dad my name, but didn't say anything else. Oh my Gods! What if he was just helping Neal out to get to you? Oh my Gods!" She said, shaking. She had stood up and started to pace back and forth on the ship. Killian was frozen in his seat.

"Love, please sit down, it is all OK now, we are both safe. Henry is safe. Gold is dead and he can't get to us, I promise. Please just sit down and let me finish the story." He pleaded.

"Killian don't you realize how fucked up this is? Gold knew about me before I slept with Neal. He knew about my past with you, knew he could use me to hurt you. Oh my Gods." Emma said, this time stopping in her tracks, it was if she suddenly realized something. "Oh my Gods, what if he made Neal seek me out? What if he did all of this on purpose, just to harm you? What if he asked Neal to sleep with me just to spite you? Oh my Gods." With that she ran to the side of the ship and proceeded to throw up her dinner.

"Emma, no don't think that. I promise that isn't what happened. Gold and Neal weren't getting along when you met him. He told me everything love, everything. He said he hadn't talked to Neal for almost a year before he found out about you. Neal didn't sleep with you because of Gold. None of this is because of you. He just said he knew about you. He actually never told me that you were pregnant at all. I truly didn't know until I met Henry that night." He said, rubbing small circles into her lower back. He hated that his past was still fucking with their lives.

"He didn't?" She questioned.

"No, he had just said he knew that there were more people that I cared for, and that if I didn't take him up on his offer, he would make sure that they would pay as well. He actually never said your name, but he did say _that pretty blonde of yours would sure look good on my floor, much better than this bitch._ When he said that, I was furious. Yes, he had harmed Milah and I was angry over that, but now he had threatened you, and I couldn't let that stand. I started to move towards him when he pulled out a gun. He aimed it straight at Milah's head. I knew that if I kept moving he would shoot, and I heard he was a good shot too. It was then he made his demands. He demanded that I continue to pay him back but it would be with a ten percent interest rate and I would have to stop seeing Milah. He then proceeded to tell me how he used to be with Milah. She was his first love, and she left him when she found out what he was doing. He was angry that she would leave him, but she wouldn't leave me. That's when I found out he had the house bugged too. He heard everything, knew everything about our relationship. So he took her because he was jealous." He growled. The whole time Killian had thought that Milah was taken simply because she was with him, he didn't realize that she had already know everything. Milah had told him that there were no secrets between them, yet he was finding out that she had betrayed him broke his heart almost as much as leaving Emma.

Emma moved back into Killian's arms, seeing that he needed her. They were both a mess, but he had to finish the story. He needed to make sure there was nothing that could ever come between them.

"There is more love." He sighed, "I told Gold that he had a deal. I would leave Milah alone and pay him back. At least that way I knew she would be safe. Sure he went back on his deals, but if he promised someone would be safe they would be. That was thanks to his wife. He let me take Milah from the house to a hospital, where I said she fell down some stairs. He said he would be watching me, so I left her there. I was a mess for the next couple of weeks. I didn't contact her just like he said. I was surprised though that she didn't contact me. I heard nothing from her – not a text or a phone call. Nothing. My life was suddenly back to what it had been before Milah and after you. It was like everything good had been torn from my life."

Emma was now crying, he could hear her quiet sobs. He pulled her back so that he could look into her eyes. His Swan was crying for him.

"Oh Killian, I am so sorry. I am so sorry that all of this happened to you. You never deserved any of this. If anything you deserved so much more. You took in your little sister, who you didn't even know, just so that she could have a good life. You have done everything for her. You then did everything you could do for Milah. Since you have been back, you have done everything to make things up to me. You never deserved any of this. You deserve to be happy." Tears were streaming down her face. He couldn't believe his luck, he had done so many horrible things, he was never strong enough, yet here he was, being told by one of the most perfect people he knew that he was worth it.

"There is more love." He said, with tears now in his eyes.

"Really?" She questioned, a small laugh followed. He followed suit. It was a actually quite funny that the story still wasn't over.

"Yes, but not much." He said, kissing her forehead. "I received a letter a few years later, from Milah. It was quite long, explaining why she had lied to me and why she never told me she knew Gold. She explained that she, like me, decided it was best to protect her loved ones then to put them in harms way. She said she stayed with me because she would be in trouble either way, and she would rather get to spend a few extra days with me than lose me too soon. She told me that she loved me, but she knew she couldn't hold up to you. She said that she could tell I was always going to love you and that she was never going to live up to you and eventually I would find my way back to you. She thanked me for the time we spent together and said that eventually she knew I would get my happy ever after. She said she had moved on once Gold died – he had been keeping an eye on her after I left the hospital so she kept to herself for a few years, then moved back home to London where she met a wonderful man and got married. She told me she was happy and that I deserved to be happy. She said she didn't blame me for leaving her, in fact she thanked me for it, for saving her life. I blamed myself for so many years – why couldn't I be brave? Why was I a coward? I should have done more to protect her. I should have fought for her. Her letter said that she understood and was thankful that I did what I did."

"I am thankful too." Emma whispered.

"When Gold died, his wife took over his business. I went to see her, at the time I was hoping that maybe she could tell me about Milah, let me out of my deal I made with Gold. Yes, the woman was his wife, but she wasn't as vicious and malicious as he was. She had a heart. She told me that she would let me out of his deal. She actually said that his deal was bullshit and she yelled at him for days after we left, especially since this was all over an ex-girlfriend that she thought he was over. However, she was unable to tell me anything about Milah. While she wanted no harm to come to her, she also never wanted to hear about her again after the new deal. So when I heard from her, I was actually relieved to hear that she was OK and that she was happy. It was around that time that I was beginning to think about finding you. I guess you could say it was all fate." He said, finishing his story.

* * *

EMMA'S POV

For the past couple hours Emma had been listening to the most heartbreaking story she had ever heard. She had an amazing day with Killian, and when she brought up the relationships within the group, she knew there was something wrong, but she never would have guessed the look he was giving her would lead to this.

As Killian was telling her his story, she was overcome with emotion. There was anger rushing through her – sometimes towards Gold, sometimes towards Killian. She couldn't believe he had kept this from her for such a long time, and she couldn't believe that he had trusted someone else over her. But even though she felt anger at the situation, she also felt pity and sympathy. Killian was young when everything happened, they both were. They had only just begun to live their lives, so how could she really blame him for doing something that possibly saved her life?

Killian had felt the same way about her that she felt about him after he first left. Sure there was strong hatred (OK, she was just super pissed off), but there was also just a desperate need for him to come back into her life. At the end of the day, she just needed her best friend. She had found herself doing the same thing he did every night for months – staring at his picture on her phone or looking through her photo albums that were filled with their memories.

Once the dust settled after he left, Emma had drowned herself in alcohol and parties, and she spent a night with Neal: just like what Killian had done with Milah. She couldn't be upset with him for moving on, but she did feel a twinge of jealousy. While Emma had slept with Neal, she hadn't fallen in love with him. Sure, she had a kid with him and was going to be a _family_ with him, but she didn't love him. She thought once that maybe, one day, she could have loved him, but now that she truly thought about it, she could never love him. But Killian was able to love someone else, and she was a bit jealous of it.

When Killian started to explain what happened with Gold and Milah, she was actually scared. She had found out a lot about Neal's father, and she knew he was a horrible man; to hear that Killian and Milah had actually dealt with him the flesh worried her. She didn't know Milah, but if Killian loved her, she must have been a good person. They both were in danger, and she couldn't help but to worry about them – even though the event had taken place years ago.

It broke her heart all over again when she heard Killian discussing Milah in Gold's office. He was shaking the entire time and she could tell that he was reliving the moment: being thrust back into the memory like it was happening all over again right there on his boat. She held him like she never held him before. She was there for him when Liam died, comforting him, as he needed it, but it was nothing like this. She could feel the anger vibrating off his body, while feeling the sadness he held over his past love at the same time.

The worst part of the night though was when Killian confessed that Gold had known about Emma all along. Fear rippled through her – she was petrified. Neal had said that his father hadn't talked to him in a while, just that he had requested his son come home for the summer; but now with Killian's story she couldn't help but think that all was a lie just to get her in bed, to use her to get to Killian. It would be a cruel way to get to him, but she didn't put it past Gold to do it. She had been so fearful when she found out about Neal's father all those years ago, and now she knew those fears were warranted. She was glad the bastard was dead.

She couldn't believe he still had some story left. She was still fuming through most of it, the thoughts of what could have happened to Henry just because his grandfather couldn't take no for an answer stewing in her mind. Then Killian had said he threatened her, and she knew she could never be pissed at Killian over leaving her again. Yes, she would still have some fears that he would leave again, and yes, she would be skittish about it, but she wasn't angry any more. He really did leave to protect her. She was actually secretly giddy too. She knew it was stupid to feel that way, but to hear Killian say that he was going to tear Gold a new one when he threatened her made Emma feel good – he had really loved her. She knew it was selfish and stupid, but she couldn't help it. He had said he had loved her, but now she really knew it.

She had cried with Killian when he spoke of Milah's betrayal and past history. She didn't cry out of pity though, it was simply because he was hurting and it pained her to see him this way. She had only seem him break down twice in her entire life: once right after Liam died, and again at junior prom. She couldn't bear to see him so upset. She wanted to make things better for him. He deserved to be happy. He had done so much for her, so much for Lily, so much for Milah: he deserved everything in return. He had been dealt a shit hand in life, and she knew in that moment, she was going to do anything she could to turn the hand he was dealt into a winning hand.

When Killian told her about Milah's letter, she was actually shocked. Shocked that Milah thought Killian could never love her the way he love Emma. Yes, he had loved her, but that didn't mean he still did or that he would have continued to love her if he had stayed with Milah. She couldn't lie and say that the confession didn't scare her.

Emma was still holding Killian when he ended his story. They sat in the darkness for what seemed like hours, just holding each other, sprinkling little kisses on each other's foreheads and knuckles, and saying nothing. Nothing more needed to be said. They had finally said everything they needed to say to each other in order to move forward in their lives. What was in the past was now truly in the past.

She looked up to the man who was now holding her in his arms. She never felt safer than she felt at that moment. They had so much happen in their past, so much that could haunt them. Yet sitting in his arms, she felt as if none of that matter. She felt complete. She wished there was something that she could say to Killian to make him understand just what she was feeling, but she also didn't want to disturb their bubble that surrounded them since the end of his story. So she did the only thing she knew she could do.

She pulled back and stared into his eyes, putting all of her feelings, both good and bad into her stare. Hoping that he would understand exactly what she was trying to say. She moved towards him to give him a simple kiss. Yes, it was a simple kiss, but that kiss explained everything she felt, and she felt everything he wanted to say but couldn't.


	10. Chapter 10

EMMA'S POV

The night had not gone as planned. Again. This was now their second date, and it was starting to feel too much like their first. Emma was ready for the drama to be over, for life to really begin. She didn't know how much more she could actually take. She was glad that Killian had opened up to her, had told her about Milah and Gold, but at the same time, she wished that she didn't have to hear it.

Part of her was jealous of the woman. She knew it sounded stupid, but it was the truth. That woman got to be with Killian while he was gone. That woman got to comfort him and support him. Yes, Emma was getting that chance now, but somehow in Emma's mind, she felt it wasn't as good, as needed, as the comfort he needed years ago.

Even though there was part of her that was jealous, there was another part that was thankful for Milah. She was thankful that Killian had someone to help him. When he left, she still had her friends. Sure, she didn't always rely on them and she didn't really talk to them about her feelings, but there were there no matter what. Killian left and had no one. When he talked of Milah, she could tell that she provided friendship to him as well as love.

It had grown late, and it was time that they head back to the docks. Even though the night hadn't turned out the way Emma wanted, she was still quite happy they had it. It was better that they start out fresh, with no secrets, than for her to find out about Milah in a couple of months. She smiled at the man who was still holding her in his arms. He looked so peaceful now. The past couple days, when she saw him, he looked happy, but there was more behind his mask. She knew something was troubling him, and she now knew why he was scared. Now that his peace had been said, and now that all their dirty laundry had been aired, they could truly move on. They could truly be happy.

"OK Captain, I think it's time we head back." She sighed. She didn't want to leave his side she was too comfortable.

"Aye love, that's probably a good idea. However, I am enjoying my time with you in my arms too much to get up." He replied, laying a kiss to her golden locks.

Emma chuckled, knowing just what he meant. It felt right, sitting in his embrace. She felt calm and at ease, all the worries that she had been having falling away. Her fears and emotions were only around when he would let go a bit, when his embrace weakened, and she didn't want those fears rushing back. She wanted to enjoy the peace for just a while longer.

Killian stood up and began to move towards the controls of the boat. He paused and turned around to look at her. "Well Swan, aren't you coming?"

She smiled and moved to stand with him, to help him bring the ship to shore.

* * *

They were sitting in his car once again outside her house. They had docked the boat and moved slowly back to his car, his arm possessively wrapped around her waist, and hers around his. She didn't really want the night to end, but she also knew that once it ended, they would be able to actually start again. Things would be different once tomorrow came.

They weren't saying anything, just sitting in the car looking at each other. Emma was studying his face. Sure, she had seen him multiple time since he came back, but she never really got that chance to just look at him with a clear mind. She wasn't just studying his features - they were mostly unchanged from the boy she used to know. He had a few additional worry lines on his face, but they made him sexier. He wasn't the boy she used to know, he was a man now. He was a man who had dealt with a large amount of shit over the years, but somehow came out the other side. He still had his signature stupid smirk - it was one that used to make Emma lose her train of thought. She would be lying to herself if she said it didn't do it anymore. That smile still had made her swoon, still made her lose herself in his smile.

"So even though it was a difficult night love, I still had an amazing time with you." He smiled, pulling her hand to his lips. The gesture was new to her. He had never done it when they were in high school, but he had done it multiple times since being back.

"Surprisingly me too." She said.

"Thank you Love, for everything tonight: for being you, for being understanding, for taking care of me. Thank you for everything." He said, pulling her closer to him. Their foreheads were now touching they were inches apart. His scent invaded her senses – he smelt like the sea, like a ship, and that terrified her.

Emma pushed herself forward a bit, just enough for her lips to meet his. She started slowly, wanting to savor every minute of this. However, Killian had something much different on his mind. He pushed forward too, crashing his lips into hers. The kiss was passionate, but it was also filled with longing and compassion. Her hands found their way into his hair again. She loved raking her fingers through his hair, giving herself a bit of control in the situation. He picked her up and moved her so that she straddled him in the driver's seat. She fit perfectly above him.

Emma ached to be closer to him, but there was only so much that one could do in the front seat of a small car. She moved her hands from his hair and trailed them down his body. He was in shape in high school - from being on crew and playing football - but the defined muscles he had back then were nothing compared to what she felt underneath now. The muscles were hard, and held her close. He was demanding more from the kiss. Their tongues met each other and began to dance. His hands were tailing over her back, fisting in her hair. She could feel his hardness beneath her, and it took everything she had to pull back.

"Something wrong love?" He questioned as she came to rest her forehead against his once again. His breathing was labored, and he tried to reach for her lips again.

"No, everything is fine." She replied, and it was, it had just surprised her. She had never made out in a car before - and while she was happy to be starting over with Killian, she wasn't sure she wanted their relationship to be moving so fast. She knew she didn't want their first time to be in his car, yet all she could think about was how she needed him.

He pulled her back towards him and began his assault. He kissed her like his life depended on it. She had no idea how long they had been making our like horny teenagers in a car; all she knew was that she loved it. They had to stop a few times - to catch their breath.

_Gods Emma, I have waited forever to kiss you like this. You are amazing love, truly amazing. You are so wonderful Emma, so brilliant. You have no idea how much I have wanted this. You have no idea how much I need you. _His whispered confessions kept them going. Each time they would pull away, she thought the night was going to be over. That she would end up inside her house in a few minutes, but then he would whisper a confession or an incredible compliment, and she found herself needing him all over again. She was rocking on top of him, trying to get as much friction as she could, when he pulled back.

"Love, while I enjoy where this is going, it would probably best for you to head inside and for me to go home." He said, surprising her. A look of disappointment spread across her face. She didn't want to stop, "Swan, look at me. I want to continue this, you have no idea how much I want you, but our first time will not be outside your house, where your son is either sleeping or spying on us."

He leaned up to meet her lips in a final sweet kiss. He moved her back to her side of the car, and reached for her hands, placing a sweet kiss on each palm, then each knuckle.

"Thank you so much for tonight love. Thank you for spending the day with me." He said, looking deep into her eyes.

"You're welcome Killian." she reached over and ran her fingers along his cheek, "Goodnight."

She was getting out of the car when she turned back around just a bit, enough to bend down and look at him through the car window.

"Thank you for coming back Killian. I am glad you are home."

* * *

Emma spent Sunday with Henry. She knew he would be the only one to not really pump her for information. By the time she woke up on Sunday morning, she had about twenty texts from her friends, each asking how the date went. Regina had seen her when she came home, had seen how flustered Emma was, how swollen her lips were. Thankfully her friend didn't ask. Emma needed time to process everything. The night had gone so quickly and had so many twists and turns.

The day itself was amazing, and the whole time Emma could feel herself falling for him all over again. She remembered why she fell for him in the first place. Then their boat ride had been wonderful, he had given her something that she didn't realize she needed so badly. However, his confession of Milah broke her a bit. When their night ended the way it did, Emma couldn't believe what a rollercoaster it had been. Yet, she knew she was ready to get back on the ride.

"Hey Kid, what's the plan for the day?" She asked her son, who she found sitting in front of their TV watching cartoons.

"I was thinking that we could just hang out, maybe play in the pool. Regina told me last night that they are taking Roland to the state park to explore, so we will be alone all day." She could hear the excitement in her boy's voice. He loved Roland like a brother, which meant that when he was able to do something without the young boy following him around, he was going to take it.

"Sounds like the perfect plan kid." She smiled.

"But before we do that, how was your date?" He questioned. Thankfully when Emma finally walked inside, Henry had been asleep. Killian was right; she didn't want their first time to be in the driveway of her house while her son slept inside. She blushed at the thought of it. She was so caught up in him that she didn't mind that they almost took things all the way - in his car. She had pictured that moment for years: and each time she pictured it, she was in bed with him spending all night showing their love for each other. She was glad he stopped them when he did.

"Really good. I had a really good time with Killian." Emma smiled. She had more than a good time if she was being honest with herself. Yes, there was a ton of shit that had happened, and way too many revelations, but she wouldn't trade it for anything.

"Good. I am glad mom. I just want you to be happy. Killian seems like a good guy, so if you want to keep dating him, it's fine with me." Henry said, winking at his mom.

They spent the rest of the day just lounging by the pool and practicing their dives off the diving board.

* * *

Dr. Capshaw was waiting for Emma in her office when she arrived after her rounds. The doctor had told her that morning that she needed to talk to her about something important. Emma hated that. She hated being told that someone needed to talk to her, but didn't say what they needed to talk about.

"Good morning Emma! Have a seat." Dr. Capshaw said, pointing to the chair in front of her desk. Emma took a seat. Her legs were crossed and she kept bouncing the top one. She was nervous to say the least. The past week she had been distracted a bit, who wouldn't be with the reappearance of your first love?

"Emma, calm down, you aren't in trouble or anything. I just wanted to talk to you about your application for attending." Dr. Capshaw added, calming Emma down a bit. Last month Emma had to submit application to start her fellowship. She was hoping to stay on with Dr. Capshaw, but the program was difficult to get accepted too, she only took one person a year. Emma had applied to other programs in the area, not wanting to move since Henry loved his school. She had heard back from all but two. All had accepted her, so she was just waiting to hear from her own hospital and a hospital in DC.

"Emma you have been such a wonderful student. You truly have come into your own here at the hospital. The nurses respect you, and the other doctors think you are brilliant. The patients love you. However, we are at an impasse of sorts." Emma was confused by what her mentor was saying. What impasse? What had happened to make them worry about her application?

"What do you mean?" She questioned.

"Well, we were approached by a clinic that does special surgeries in Africa. They are looking for a resident who has completed their fourth year to go and run the clinic for a year. When the board was approached they could come up with only one name - yours. Emma, the hospital wants you to go to Africa for a year to run a surgical team for pediatric medicine. However, the staff wants to keep you here and offer you the fellowship." Emma was floored with the admission of the doctor. They wanted Emma to run a team out of Africa doing surgeries she could only dream of.

"Ummm…" Emma started.

"Listen Emma, there is a lot to think about, but they wanted me to present you with both opportunities, and see which you would prefer to do. Just so you know, the year you would spend in Africa would count towards your fellowship, upon your return; you would be a second year attending in pediatric surgery. You would study under me for that second year, but then you would be running program with a specialty in outreach surgeries. Now, the board knows you have a son, and they were worried that you would turn down the Africa position simply because of him. Well, they said they would be willing to send him with you. They would pay for his schooling and all his expenses. Everything would be covered. The part of Africa you would be going to is actually quite affluent - the military working to bring the cases to you. Henry would be going to some of the best private schools on the continent. However, if you choose not to go, you would be a first year attending in my fellowship. Things would continue as normal here, but you wouldn't be working on the out reach program." Dr. Capshaw finished with a smile.

Emma was speechless. She was actually up for two positions. One that she had always dreamed about and another that was out of the blue, but sounded like a once in a lifetime offer. She didn't know what to do. She had Henry to think about. She had her friends to think about. She also now had Killian to think about. They were just getting back to something they once both wanted, and now she may leave him. Was leaving always going to be a staple in her life?

"I am not sure what to say." Emma said. Dr. Capshaw looked at her with a bit of excitement.

"Take a few days. Talk to your friends and your family. Then decide. Whatever you choose, I will support. Yes, I was hoping to have you all to myself. To train someone that I knew would be a better surgeon than myself, but if you decide to go abroad, I know you will do great things. Both are opportunities that cannot be passed by so easily." Dr. Capshaw said. "Just think about it and let me know by next week. The deadline for the program is Wednesday, so we need to know soon."

Emma thanked her mentor and walked out of the office. She had a lot of thinking to do.

* * *

Killian had texted her later that day. He spent Sunday with Lily, giving his full attention to his sister. He told Emma as much, so she didn't think he was avoiding her. She was actually touched at how caring he was for his sister. He even texted her a picture of the two of them sitting at the zoo. The look on Lily's face told Emma everything she needed to know. The little girl loved her brother more than anything else in the world. She looked at him like the sun revolved around him. It was the same look she gave Henry when they took pictures.

**KILLIAN: Happy Monday Swan. I hope your day is going well. I just wanted to let you know that I missed you yesterday and I miss you today. Saturday night was rough, but I am glad that you stayed and listened. Thank you for being there. You truly are amazing.**

**EMMA: I miss you too. Thank you for telling me everything. You deserve so much happiness Killian. I am so sorry for being mad at you for so long.**

**KILLIAN: Darling, don't be sorry. We've both made mistakes. What matters is we are both here now and I am never letting go again.**

**EMMA: Good to hear it.**

Whenever Killian talked, or texted, he always made her feel so good. He was really too good to her already. He always said words that made her swoon, and roll her eyes at the same time because of how corny they could be. Corny, yet super romantic.

**KILLIAN: So now what are your plans for the week?**

**EMMA: Well I was hoping to have a hot date with a pretty good-looking guy, but he hasn't asked me yet.**

**KILLIAN: What a shame Swan. The bugger should get off his arse. Letting a gorgeous woman like yourself sit alone at home is no way to treat a lady.**

**EMMA: I agree, besides I had a pretty good idea of what him and I could do for this date.**

**KILLIAN: Oh, and what might that be if you don't mind me asking?**

**EMMA: Well, I was hoping that he would take me to see the new superhero movie and maybe make out with me in the back of the theater. You know, since I never got that opportunity in high school.**

**KILLIAN: Well then Swan, what do you say? Dinner and a movie Wednesday night - I'll make sure that you get as much popcorn and candy you want.**

**EMMA: Sounds good :)**

She loved how easy the conversation flowed between them. She loved the flirty banter. She was wondering when he was going to ask her out again. She wanted to be able to talk to him about what was happening at work, and she wanted to see where they stood. She wanted to see him again, but she didn't want to outright ask him. Yes, she had asked for their first date, but that was a fluke. She wasn't going to lie; she wanted him to chase her a bit.

* * *

KILLIAN'S POV

Emma had beaten him once again. He was planning on asking her out for a nice dinner later in the week. He was just waiting for the right time. He had asked her for their second date over a text message, and while she said yes, he was pissed at himself that he didn't ask her in person. What kind of asshole didn't ask the woman he was falling back in love with in person? It was because of this, he wanted to ask her out in person for their next date. He was considering it their real first date, since the last two had some pretty crazy moments. However, she beat him to the punch.

Even though he wanted to ask her out in person, and even though she kind of asked him to ask her out, he enjoyed the banter between them. The flirting was perfect, and reminded him of their time in high school. They both had flirted a bit during senior year, it was banter they all were used to. However, now that their feelings were out in the open, he was amazed that the banter was still there. He thought it might change, that things would become more serious, but here she was, giving him the same shit she gave him in high school. Instead it confirmed everything he already knew.

When he picked her up from the hospital on Wednesday, he was overcome with excitement. It had only been three days, but he missed her so much. Now that he had returned to Alexandria, and he had moved back into her life, he hated spending time away from her. Part of his reasoning was because he missed so much time: he wanted to make up for all the time he had spent away from her. Part of it was because he was worried she would run. He wanted to make sure that he was there no matter what happened. If she was worried about their relationship, he wanted to be there to calm her fears, to soothe her worries.

"Hey there Captain." She said getting into the car, leaning over to kiss his cheek. It was a sweet gesture.

"Hello Swan. Ready for the movie?" He was taking her in. She had changed out of her scrubs - wearing a black pair of jeans, boots, a white t-shirt and her favorite red leather jacket. He was actually surprised to see that jacket. He got it for her for graduation. She had seen it in a store a few weeks prior and told everyone just how much she loved it, but she wasn't going to spend that much money on a jacket. Killian returned the next day to buy it for her. Her eyes swelled with tears when he gave it to her during her last shift at the restaurant. He was surprised she kept it. She looked perfect.

"Hell yeah, I've been waiting for this movie for months. Henry wants to see it too." She added. "He loves action and superhero movies. Normally, if it is a big movie, I'll let him stay up and we will go to the midnight premieres."

"I'm sorry Love, if I knew your lad wanted to see it, I would have extended the invitation to him as well. Or, if you want, we can see something else, so you can see it with him." Killian offered. He didn't want to be the reason her son didn't spend time with his mom doing things they normally did.

"Killian, it's OK." She said, reaching for his hand. "He wanted to see this movie for the premiere, but it fell during the last week of school, and I wasn't letting him miss the last day because he was up late seeing a movie. Besides, I wanted to see it first. I want to make sure it is appropriate for him. Normally with Marvel movies I am safe, but with DC movies, I tend to have to screen them."

He relaxed a bit. She really was an amazing mom. They talked the whole way to the theater. It wasn't that far of a drive, but in DC during rush hour, a five-mile drive can take about forty-five minutes. He didn't mind though, happy to spend the time with Emma.

After the movie, which she declared one of the best of the year and was OK for Henry to see, they headed across the street for some dinner. He hadn't felt so relaxed in ages. Everything between them was now in the open, and he didn't have to hide anymore. There was no tension in the air - well no bad tension. When they had been sitting in the theater there was sexual tension all right. It was like the air was filled with fireworks. They had started off just holding hands. She then moved his arm around her and leaned into the crook of his shoulder. They hadn't made out during the movie, as she was too engrossed with the action, but that didn't stop him for planting kisses on her head from time to time, or from her planting them on his neck. He was glad that she wanted to watch the whole credits, since her pecks made him hard. He was a bit embarrassed that simple kisses from her initiated that response, but at the same time, he wasn't surprised. Emma was a siren: constantly calling to him.

They had been talking about Emma's time at the hospital and medical school when Emma became sullen. She looked as though she had a rough choice to make. It worried him. Of course there would be something that had to make their date just a little crazy.

"Love, what is wrong? You look upset." Killian asked.

"I'm sorry Killian. I just wanted to have one normal date with you. I wanted just one normal night, where we could just be ourselves and not let our past lives interfere. However, I got some news today about my job that I am afraid may ruin everything." She looked down at her plate.

"Love, tell me. I promise whatever it is we will work through it: together." He said.

She looked up into his blue eyes. She wasn't crying, but he could tell that she could at any second. "I spoke with my attending today, and she said that while I have been accepted as a fellow at the hospital, I have also been nominated to head a team of surgeons that will be going to Africa to do outreach medicine in poverished countries. They said that they would pay for Henry to come with me and for his schooling and that when I return I wouldn't have to do a fellowship, that I would be a second year attending right away. They would also make me chair of the outreach program at the hospital. I have to make a decision by Monday." She said.

The revelation shocked him. He had just gotten her back, or at least he thought he did, and now she was being offered a chance to actually run a surgical program and go to Africa. She had a huge decision to make. Even though he was scared at what decision she may make, he was happy that she opened up to him and told him. He was so proud of her too. She was a brilliant surgeon and an amazing doctor, no wonder they would offer the position to her.

"Swan, that is amazing! I am so proud of you." He said, picking up her hand and kissing it.

"Thank you, but I am not sure what I should do." She sighed. "I am not sure what I want. On one hand it is an amazing opportunity for me. I would get more experience and see some surgeries I would never see here. I would be one of the youngest department heads in pediatric history too. Henry would get to live abroad, something he has talked about for years - ever since we thought Robin was going to move back to England. However, I don't want to move him. I hated always moving around when I was younger it's hard. He would only be there a year, which is just enough time to make friends and then leave them. I would be so busy all the time, who knows how much time I could actually spend with him. It's a huge responsibility on someone who doesn't have much experience. I wouldn't have my friends to help me along the way. Plus, there is you."

"Me Swan?" He asked. He was hoping that she would think about them during her decision making process, but he didn't want to force their relationship on her.

"Yes, you just came back, we are just starting to see what we can be. I am not really sure what we are, and yet I am thinking about leaving for a year. It seems like just as we start to get close something has to come in and change everything. I don't want to lose you again." She confessed. It was like music to his ears.

"Love, look at me. I understand what you mean. It's scary to think that we could be separated again, but I meant what I said. I am not leaving. I plan on being here. As for what we are, we are dating. I belong to you, and I hope you belong to me. It's my job, well at least I hope, it's my job to protect your heart. And that means to protect it wherever it may lie. If you choose this job in Africa, know that I will be here when you return, waiting. You are it for me Emma. There is no one else. Whatever you choose, know that I support your decision one hundred percent. Would I be sad that you would be leaving, yes. Would I yearn for you every single day until you returned, hell yes. But I would support you in any endeavor." Emma was just staring at him. A lone tear had started to fall down her face. He reached up and wiped it away. She gave him a sweet smile.

"Thank you. Thank you for everything. I haven't made up my mind yet, but I couldn't keep it from you any longer. I just needed to hear what you thought. I need to talk to Henry about it this week and see what he says." She said.

"I think that is a wonderful idea love. Whatever you decide I will be here for you. I am not going anywhere. In fact, there is something I would like to show you." He had paid for the meal already, so he stood up and took her hand. As they made their way back to his car, his thoughts were running a mile a minute.

He was falling in love with the most intelligent and beautiful creature he had ever known, and she may leave. He would be lying if he said he wasn't scared. He was petrified - a lot could happen in a year. What if she left and came back a different person? What if she left and met someone else, someone who was better for her? What if she realized that she loved the job too much and didn't want to return? What if she left and realized she didn't love him? But even though he was petrified, he knew in his heart everything would be OK. As long as Emma was happy, he was happy. He was going to support her no matter what. He had said multiple times that he would spend a life time making up to Emma his past actions, and now he had the chance to prove it. If Emma wanted to go to Africa, he would let her, and he would prove to her that he wasn't leaving.

They pulled up to the marina a few minutes later. He parked at the familiar marina. His boat was docked here. However, instead of leading her to his boat, he led her to the office building. Once inside he flipped on a switch.

"Killian, what is this?" She questioned.

"This is my office building love. I wanted to show you I meant what I said. I am not leaving. I have officially moved my company here. We are keeping the office in London and Dublin, but we are stating business here as well. No matter what you choose, I will be here." He said, pulling her to him.

Her lips were on him and he immediately moaned at the touch. He'd been craving her touch since Saturday - he needed it. Her lips were smooth and inviting. She molded herself into him as he deepened the kiss. He could feel her gentle curves underneath her clothing. He knew in that moment that he needed to have her, to mark her, to show her that she was his and he was hers no matter what the future may bring. He had a plan for this - wanted her in his bed the first time, but he couldn't wait any longer.

He could feel her need for him. Her nails dug through his shirt and into his back. He moved her back towards his office - opening the door as she scattered kisses along his jawline and neck. She was humming with each kiss. She moved to take her jacket off.

"No, it's fine" he said stopping her. She looked up at him - her lips swollen and her eyes darken with wanting. "I like the red leather jacket."

With that she pulled him back to her. He did like the jacket - everything about it screamed Emma. That was one of the reasons he bought it for her, the other being he knew she would look sexy wearing the jacket alone.

He had placed her on his desk - papers scattering with the motion. His hands moved to pull her closer to him: desperate to feel her against him. Never before had he been so turned on. Never before had he wanted someone so much. She squirmed beneath him, hands moving all over, feeling him succumb to the passion that filled the room. His hands moved towards her pants when she suddenly pulled back.

"Wait," she breathed. She was flushed and looked stunning, but Killian could see the fear creeping into her eyes. "I am sorry, this is all going just a bit fast."

"Don't apologize love." He said, kissing her forehead. "I understand, we don't have to do anything you don't want to do. I am perfectly content just kissing you."

He pulled her into a sweet kiss.

* * *

EMMA'S POV

When Killian had shown her the office building that he was housing his business in, she couldn't believe it. He had mentioned that he was moving the company here, but somewhere in the back of her mind, she doubted that he actually would. Yet here she was, at the marina where his boat was docked, looking at an office that held his name. He had actually done it; he moved his entire life here. She had worried that he wouldn't actually move the company; making it so he would have an excuse to leave again. She was overjoyed to see that he had kept his promise. He was really home. He wasn't going anywhere.

She moved to him the second he started to pull her in. Her lips found his and she tried to show him everything she felt with that kiss. She was falling back in love with Killian. It scared her a bit, to open herself up to love again, to open herself up to him; yet here she was kissing him like he was the oxygen she needed to breathe.

She needed him in a way she hadn't needed someone before. The last man she had sex with was Neal, and she knew how badly that turned out. She had dated around, but she was always cautious to give herself to someone, afraid of hurting herself even more or hurting Henry. She knew what could happen during a one-night stand, so it scared her a bit. Instead, she relied on her trusty vibrator. In all her fantasies, many of them revolving around a man who looked an awful lot like Killian, the man never kissed Emma the way she was being kissed now. None of them ever ignited the spark she was feeling right now. None of them ever made her want to throw all caution to the wind.

She had worn her favorite red leather jacket that night. It had become something like armor to her during his absence, a constant reminder of how he hurt her and how much she needed to grow, to be stronger. When he gave her the jacket, she knew that she hadn't misread any signals from him; he was just as enamored with her as she was with him. When Killian asked her to the movies, she knew she would wear the jacket - even though it was hotter than hell out. She wanted to see his reaction to the jacket. She wasn't disappointed - hell she was turned on the second he looked at her when she came out of the hospital. His eyes darkened with desire and wanting - all because of the jacket. She couldn't complain. When he then told her to keep it on, she needed him even more.

Suddenly her dreams of their first time came flooding back. She had always envisioned them in a giant bed, spending hours getting to know each and every curve of their bodies, getting lost in the sounds of passion that would flow between them. She had pictured things so differently, had wanted things so differently. Yet here she was, sitting on Killian's desk, feeling his hardness though her pants. He felt so good against her, and she needed to have more, but at the same time she wanted things to be special. They had been apart for so long, had grown so much. She didn't want the first time she had Killian to be on his desk - but she wouldn't say no to the little fantasy later.

Wait," she breathed. She was a bit nervous to look into his eyes, afraid to see disappointment there. However, she didn't see that. His normally bright blue eyes were dark, filled with lust, still ready to go for her. "I am sorry, this is all going just a bit fast."

"Don't apologize love." He said, kissing her forehead. She could hear him breathe out a sigh of slight disappointment, but understanding too. "I understand, we don't have to do anything you don't want to do. I am perfectly content just kissing you."

She was content with kissing him too, but knew that soon, she needed to have him.


	11. Chapter 11

EMMA'S POV

The rest of the week sped by. After Killian had dropped her off after their date, Emma was determined to make her decision about Africa by the weekend. She didn't want to hinder any possibilities – whether that be with work or in this newfound relationship with Killian. She didn't want it to hang over her head for the rest of the week. She knew she needed to trust her gut. Yes, it was scary and she hated to disappoint people, but she had to do what was right for her.

She still had work to do though, so she pushed her decision to the back of her mind, and focused on the work. To say it was a long day was an understatement. She had planned to talk to Henry that evening about the offers she received, but it looked like she wouldn't be home until nine. This was the one thing she hated about being a doctor; the hours were never really consistent. She was able to leave on time yesterday, because one of the other doctors offered to cover her post ops. However, she then had to pick up her shift in the ER the next day, which meant that she would spend long hours doing God knows what. It turned out that a large car accident was being brought in around four, which meant a long time in the OR working on a young boy who was all torn up from the accident.

However, she was thankful for the time there. The ER was going to be similar to what her life in Africa could be like. It would be hectic and constantly moving. Yes, she would have some prescheduled surgeries for people who submitted applications; but she would also have many who would just show up. It would mean that Henry would be alone most of the time. While here, he had Regina, Robin, Roland and the rest of the clan. There, he wouldn't have anyone. She would have to find something for him to do all the time, just in case situations like this arose.

Even though Africa sounded like it would be busy and chaotic, she also knew she would never get an opportunity like this again. She thought back to her time abroad with her family. She learned so much from the other cultures. She loved that she got to go to school in a different country and learn a different language. The lessons she learned from living overseas were lessons that helped her on a day-to-day basis. Henry would get that same opportunity that she had. She had always said she wanted to travel again, Henry had mentioned that Africa was one place he couldn't wait to visit when he got older. She could see Henry being happy there, even if she wasn't around so much. He could make friends easily; it would be her that was alone most of the time.

That was the biggest issue she had if she was telling the truth. She didn't want to be alone again. She didn't want to be unhappy. She was finally getting back to a place where everything seemed to be going her way. Killian was finally back and they were actually in a relationship. He moved across the ocean for her. He uprooted his family for her. She had gotten to know Lily a bit and already loved the little girl. Could she handle being away from them for so long? Could he?

* * *

Emma's phone had a number of messages waiting when she finally was able to head home. A couple from Henry keeping her updated as to what he was doing. He had spent the day at a friend's house playing video games, went out to dinner with his family, then Regina picked him up and he was at home watching a Harry Potter movie marathon on the TV. Regina had messaged that she was getting Henry and had made some extra dinner for her that was in the oven. Ruby had messaged her multiple times asking for an update on her and Killian's relationship. Mary Margaret had texted to say that they were all planning on doing a bonfire that weekend at the cabin they owned. Mary Margaret and David owned a cute cabin in the woods near the state park - about two hours outside of town near a lake.

The invitation was in a group text, so of course she also received everyone's responses. They were still coming in as Emma was reading. Regina and Robin were in - handing Roland off to her mother for the weekend. Ruby and Graham were in, but warned everyone that if the cabin is a rocking' don't come a knockin'. Emma loved that Will and David both responded with GIFs of people being grossed out. Belle had said that she was in, but couldn't head up on Friday night, but would be there on Saturday for the actual bonfire.

Emma loved bonfires at the cabin. When they were in high school the group usually had one every other weekend, up until the end of fall. They would use Graham's parent's cabin back then. It was a bit farther away, and bit more rustic than their new one, but it did the trick. They would sit up all night, staring at the stars, signing songs, and roasting marshmallows. Half the time, the cabin didn't even get used - everyone opting to sleep under the stars. When Killian left, she refused to attend one for a while, until she had Henry, and decided she needed it.

She responded back to the group.

**EMMA: Hell yeah, I'm in! I can't head up until Saturday morning as well. I have to work till at least six tomorrow and you know how I hate driving in Friday evening "get me the hell out of DC" traffic. I'll ask mom and dad if they want to watch Henry.**

**BELLE: We can carpool Emma!**

**DAVID: I already checked with mom and dad, and they said they would watch him. In fact, mom said if you want to, you could drop him off and never pick him back up :)**

Emma responded with a GIF of someone giving two thumbs up and looking really excited. Her parents were amazing. They did everything they could to help Emma out. When Emma told them about Henry, sure they were upset, but more worried than anything. Since then, her parents had been involved; yet let Emma stand on her own two feet. They let her be a mother.

**WILL: I am going to head up with Belle and Emma.**

**GRAHAM: Scarlet you are no fun. Stop being whipped and come up early.**

**BELLE: Don't even think about it Graham! The last time you all went up there without me, Will had to be rushed to the hospital for trying to jump off the cabin after you got him drunk.**

**DAVID: How many times do we have to apologize for that Belle? It wasn't our fault he thought he was a bird.**

**ROBIN: He kept screaming, "If you're a bird, I'm a bird!" Maybe it was your fault for making him watch the Notebook.**

Emma let out a laugh when Belle responded with a GIF of someone giving the finger.

**RUBY: OMG Belle, how unlady like of you ;)**

**BELLE: Shove it. I don't want him getting hurt again. So it's settled, Will only comes up with me.**

**MARY MARGARET: That is fine. We will be there all weekend – since we all have Monday off - so it isn't like you'll be missing out.**

The upcoming Monday was the first time Emma would have a weekday off since Christmas. She was surprised they were all able to leave their responsibilities behind. It wasn't a holiday weekend or anything, but somehow they all managed to get Monday off. It was as she was thinking about when a familiar name popped up on the screen.

**KILLIAN: I think I'll tag along with Emma, Belle and Will when they head up. I hate to leave Lily for so long, but I also have a ton of work to finish at the office if I am not going in on Monday.**

Emma couldn't help but smile. She hadn't known that Killian was a part of the group chat. They had a long running group chat that was saved in her phone, as "The Nevengers" ever since Robin decided one drunken night that is was the coolest name ever. As she looked back through her notifications - she found that David had added him about a week ago. No wonder she never noticed. He had texted her throughout the day - just little things here and there, but mostly composed of the same thing. He kept telling her how he missed her, how their make out session the previous night left him needing more, how he couldn't wait until they were alone together, how he couldn't wait to continue being with her, how she was the most beautiful specimen on Earth. She chucked at his comments sometimes, they really were so clichéd, but at the same time, she couldn't help but fall harder for him. She was still trying to wrap her head around what she was feeling for him, not wanting to do anything too quickly.

**EMMA: Sounds like a plan Captain! I'll bring the mixed tapes, if you all bring the snacks!**

**REGINA: Robin and I were going to take the car up there - since we won't have Roland. You can use the SUV if you want Emma.**

**BELLE: I am down to bring the snacks - and a muzzle for Will - you don't want him singing along ;)**

**WILL: Oi woman, are you on my side or not?**

**BELLE: Yours, always. Just don't quit your day job.**

**KILLIAN: She's right mate, you are tone deaf and cannot carry a tune to save your life. I'll meet you all at Emma's place at 7? Sound good.**

**ROBIN: That would put you all here around 9, so we can all go out to brunch!**

**MARY MARGARET: I don't know about all that! Brunch is just for us girls.**

**DAVID: Oh come on, I think you can make a tiny exception.**

* * *

When Emma got home, she found Henry still waiting up for her. She should have been upset; he should have been in an hour ago, yet she wasn't. It was the summer and it wasn't like he was doing anything bad. He was sitting in front of the TV - Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets was on.

"I see you finished the first one." She questioned as she moved to sit down next to him. "Mind if I join you?"

"Hey mom! Not at all. I think I will go to bed after this one and finish the rest tomorrow." He smiled.

"So kid, I have something I need to run by you." she started, a bit worried about what his reaction might be.

"What's up?" He responded.

"Well, it's about my job. I was offered two different jobs at the hospital the other day. I was offered the position with the fellowship, but I was also offered a position to head up a medical outreach center for children in Africa." Henry looked confused at first, but then he smiled.

"That's amazing mom!" She smiled at his response. It was actually amazing if she looked past all of the issues she was having with the offers. She was still young for a doctor, and to be offered two amazing positions was something she could brag about.

"It is, but there is an issue. The second job requires me to live in Africa for a year to get everything in order." She said.

"Oh really? What about me?" He questioned, she could see the look of sadness cross her son's face.

"Well, they would pay you to come with me. The hospital would pay for your schooling and our housing while we were there." The look of sadness was now erased and a look of confusion was now on his face.

"Mom, that sounds awesome, but what about everything we have here? What about Regina and Robin? What about Mary Margaret? What about my friends? What about Killian?" Henry's voice was starting to break. She pulled him into a hug.

"Kid, calm down. I just want to see what you think about it. I am not going to make this decision alone. If we do decide to move there, it would only be for a year. Everything we have here would stay the same. This would still be our home. Regina and Robin will still be there for you - I doubt two days will go by without one of them Face Timing you. Mary Margaret will be fine, she has David and vice versa. You friends will still be here when we get back. I promise, if we decide to go, everything will be fine." She said. The words were meant to calm Henry down, but yet they instilled some fear in Emma. Would everything be the same, would everything be fine? She had never gone more than a weekend without contact from her friends. And while they were here rocks - her parents were also close by. Could she really move far away from them?

"I know mom, but you are finally happy." he was right, she was finally happy. It had taken her a while to realize that even though she thought she was happy, she was really just masking the pain. Things were never going to be good until Killian came back. Now that he was back, things were finally the way they should have been.

"I will be happy as long as you are happy. I promise." She leaned over to pull him into a hug.

"Mom, I know you are happy with me, but I could also tell that something else was missing. You were happy, but you weren't super happy. Something was missing. I told Regina one night that I was going to make it all better - I was going to find your happy ending. Operation Cygnus is what I called it. I tried to find someone to make you happy again. When Killian showed up, I saw that he was why you were unhappy all those years, and now you are truly happy again. I don't want you to give that up." He said. It stunned Emma just how insightful her son was. He was only nine, yet he talked to her like he was twenty. He was right. She was never truly happy; something - or someone - was missing.

"You really wanted me to be that happy?" She asked

"Yeah, and I can tell Killian makes you happy." He responded.

"He does kid, that's OK isn't it?" She hadn't really gotten a chance to speak with Henry about him. Sure, she let him know who he was and that she was going to be seeing him, but she never really asked if he was OK with it all.

"Yeah." He said rather quickly. "He seems pretty cool. As long as you are happy mom."

"Thanks kid." She said pulling him into another hug. "So I am guessing that this means you don't want to go to Africa?"

"I mean, it would be cool to live there, but I love our life here. I don't want to leave. This is our home." He said. She couldn't blame him; he was right, this was their home. They belonged here - belonged with their friends and family.

"You're right kid, this is our home. I'll tell them tomorrow I won't take the position in Africa."

* * *

The next morning Emma marched into Dr. Capshaw's office confident in her decision. Yes, Africa sounded cool and it was a once in lifetime experience, but she couldn't put her life here on pause. She couldn't leave without Henry, and he really didn't want to leave. She didn't want to leave her friends, they held her through so much and she didn't think she could continue to raise Henry in the way he deserved without them. You know, the whole it takes a village thing. Sure, she was his mother and loved him unconditionally, but her friends helped out so much. They were his family too.

It was also pretty easy to make the decision when she thought of Killian. She hated to admit how quickly she was becoming dependent on him again, how quickly she was falling for him, but it was the truth. She had spent so much time hating him and wishing that he would come back. She couldn't spend a year away from him. She finally had him back and she wasn't going to risk losing him again. Sure, he said he would be there, and she believed him, but she didn't want to take that chance.

Dr. Capshaw wasn't surprised by Emma's decision and was actually quite happy to hear that she decided to pass up Africa. Dr. Capshaw said that while she agreed it was a once in a lifetime opportunity, she didn't want to lose her. She had so much left to teach Emma and wanted to train her to take over for her if and when she moved on.

* * *

KILLIAN'S POV

Killian was sitting at his desk waiting for Smee to return with the last of the papers he needed to sign before he left for the day. It wasn't an exaggeration to say that he was overly excited for the weekend. While it had been great to see Emma and to be in her life again, and while it was amazing to have a drink with his mates, it was going to be spectacular to actually get together with the whole group again.

It was around five thirty when his phone chimed.

**EMMA: Hey Captain. I was wondering if you would like to get dinner with Henry and me tonight. It looks like I will be getting out of here early, and we wanted to know if you wanted to eat dinner with us. Maybe you could bring Lily?**

Killian smiled at her invitation. He knew she was going out on a ledge by asking him to go to dinner with her and her son. She told him the reason she had been so closed off was simply to protect Henry. She wanted him to get to know her son. He couldn't hold back his joy as he thought about it. He had quickly been falling deeper in love with her, yet he couldn't always get a read on what she was thinking. Now that she wanted them to get to know each other's kin, he knew she was in it for the long haul.

She only got to know Lily during her stay at the hospital. Not once did Emma ever push to get to know Lily better. He had always just assumed it was because of she brought up Lily, he would bring up Henry. While Lily may only be his sister, he cared for her like she was his own. Sometimes she would even slip and call him dad. He was always conflicted when she would say it. He was worried that she didn't quite understand what happened with her real parents, he was upset that she didn't have a real father, but at the same time, he was happy that she saw him that way, happy that he was able to provide for her.

**KILLIAN: It would be an honor love. How about we pick you and your boy up around 6:30. We can go to a fabulous restaurant I know. :)**

**EMMA: Sounds wonderful, I can't wait.**

* * *

When Killian picked Lily up she couldn't contain her excitement.

"I get to see Dr. Swan again? Killy this is great! I love her!" Lily's excitement was spilling into her words, making her talk a mile a minute.

"Yes Lily, but outside of the hospital, you can call her Emma. We are going out to dinner with her and her son." Lily's look of surprise wasn't missed. Killian hadn't really told her where he had been going when he went out with Emma. He didn't want Lily to get her hopes up. The girl was much like Mary Margaret, always having hope in every situation. He didn't want to tell Lily too much about the past and didn't want her to think that Emma was going to be a permanent fixture in her life until he was sure she would be there. Sure, Lily knew about his friendships from here, but he never gave names.

"Killy why are we going to dinner with her? Is this like a date? Why are you bringing me on a date?" She questioned.

"Emma is an old friend of mine. Remember those stories I used to tell you of living here? Well, Emma was one of those friends. I used to have the biggest crush on her, but I was always too scared to tell her. Then your papa came and asked me to come and look after you, so I had to leave her here while I took care of you. I hated it, but you needed me more. When I found out she was your doctor I was thrilled that I could get to know her again." Killian responded. He hoped that Lily would understand what he was trying to say. He never regretted having her as a sister, and he would do anything for her. He didn't want her to think he gave up everything just for her.

"OK, but that doesn't explain why I am going with you. Isn't this a date?" She was still hung up on the idea of her brother on a date. After Milah, he didn't date; he couldn't put anyone else in danger. Emma would be the first person Lily would see him with.

"Yes, it is a date, but Emma wanted to see you again and to get to know you. She wanted you to get to know her son - Henry's nine, so he is almost your age. She wanted me to get to know Henry too. We thought it would be nice for all of us to go out together." He explained.

"Ewww Killy, I don't want to be on a double date with you. I'm only ten." She teased him.

"OK Lily, not a double date, just a chance to get to know someone who is important to me." He responded. "Are you OK with that?"

"Of course! I'm glad you're happy Killy. I love you." She said.

"Love you too little lass." He beamed at her from the driver's seat.

* * *

They decided to go to Hops – a local restaurant near the airport. Henry loved the local bar. Yes, he was way too young to drink, but he loved their food. Emma loved their beer, so it was a win-win. Killian had left before it had opened; in fact, the whole commons area was new to him. It surprised him how much the area had grown. It really had become the perfect place to raise Lily.

So far, the date had gone well. Henry was just as excited to be going out as Lily had been. He was still trying to intimidate Killian though, asking him questions that a nine year old could never think of. Killian was enjoying the banter though. It was like their second date. Seeing Henry protective of his mother made Killian proud. She had raised an amazing son, one that he was proud of. It disappointed him though, that he wasn't around for the early years of Henry. Even though Henry wasn't his, he would have been just as involved with him – he was a part of Emma, which made him almost important as the girl herself.

He looked over at Emma, who happened to sit across from Lily. They were in a deep conversation. In the car, Lily had started a conversation with Henry: she told him they were moving here and Henry jumped right in to let her know all about school. Killian had held Emma's hand the whole way to the restaurant while the kids chatted in the back. He couldn't help but smile at the memory – it was like they were already a little family. It just felt right.

Once they sat down for dinner, Lily turned her attention to Emma. She wanted to know everything there was to know about her. So while Henry questioned Killian, Lily was Emma's inquisitor.

"What is the best part about being a doctor?" Lily asked.

"The patients. I love spending time with the kids." Emma responded.

"Why do you love the ocean?" Henry asked Killian.

"It calms me, but gives me a sense of adventure. There are so many directions one could take while on the water." He responded.

Killian was chucking at the scene that was unfolding. It was like the kids were interviewing them, making sure that each was the right person for their parent.

"How did you all meet?" Lily asked.

It pulled Killian from his inner monologue and conversation with Henry. He had never told Lily about how he met Emma. It was too sad for him to think about. He had told her about meeting Will and Graham, he had told her about the different adventures they all went on, but he never could tell her how their group really came to be.

"That's actually a really good story." Emma said. Henry turned towards his mother, now interested in hearing the story.

* * *

EMMA'S POV

_Sophomore Year_

_Emma couldn't believe her luck. Her family was finally done moving. Her father's final orders were at the Pentagon, and it meant that Emma would be able to finish out her high school years in the states. While she had enjoyed her time abroad, she wanted the real American high school experience. Plus, she was finally reunited with Mary Margaret. It had been almost twelve years since they were in school together. They begged the parents over the past two months to move to the same area, so they could attend the same high school. Thankfully they agreed and Mary Margaret and Emma reunited on the first day of their sophomore year._

_The first week of school was a bit crazy. American schools were so different than Japanese schools, and it took some getting used to. Thankfully she had all but one class with Mary Margaret. She had so much homework already, and already a ton of activities to take part of. Plus, she had made friends. She met Ruby during first period. The girl was dressed like she was ready for a club opening rather than the first day of school. Ruby took to Emma and Mary Margaret immediately – deciding that she was going to be their tour guide. She was going to show them everything they needed to know._

_During lunch Emma met Belle and Regina. The girls had been friends for a couple of years, and they all got along pretty well. Mary Margaret and Emma fit perfectly into their group. Within the week Emma learned that Belle loved books and was always immersed in one. She learned that Regina had a rough introduction to high school – her boyfriend passing away in a horrible accident the year before. She was cold at first, but Emma soon found out that it was all just a front to keep her from getting hurt again._

_The entire week was just so unbelievable. She had friends, she was enjoying her classes, and she was enjoying her after school activities. Everything was looking perfect. David on the other hand wasn't having the best time. He was in most of her classes, and he seemed to not be fitting in well. He didn't want to move. He thrived in Japan, where Emma was more of an outsider._

_Thankfully by Friday, things seemed to turn around for David. He had made the football team and they finally had their first practice on Thursday, and he made some friends during practice. He told Emma after dinner that there was a group of four guys who took him in immediately. Graham, Robin, Will and Killian seemed like OK guys from what David said. They didn't have any classes together, so it was no wonder David hadn't met them before. There were over four hundred students in their class alone._

"_They seem like really great guys David. I am so glad you found them." Emma said to her brother._

"_They are, at least from what I have learned. They have been friends for a while, but they pulled me right into their group. They make me feel like I belong with them." Emma understood what David meant. Emma felt the same way with the girls. It had only been four days, but she felt like she had known them for years. She fit perfectly in their group. It felt like home._

"_I get it David. It's the feeling I got when I met Ruby and the girls. It felt just like when I met Mary Margaret. I am so glad you actually get that too." Emma smiled._

"_Oh, by the way, Graham's parents own a cabin in the woods down near Culpeper. He and the guys were going to go down and have a bonfire Saturday night. What do you say? You think you and the girls wanna go?" He questioned. It didn't surprise her that he was inviting her. They rarely did anything by themselves. If one of them was invited, it was guaranteed that the other would be there._

"_Hell yeah! A weekend away getting to know everyone: I think it will be perfect." Emma beamed. She was optimistic about the year, and she wanted to get to know her new friends. She also wanted to make sure these guys David was hanging out with were good enough for her twin._

_Emma's parents were pretty cool in that they allowed their kids to spend the night away without any parents around. They trusted their children, who were mature for their age thanks to the influence of the military._

_Emma and the girls planned on driving down later on Saturday – since the boys were heading down after practice on Friday to bond a bit. She still hadn't met the guys, but from gossiping with the girls she found out that they were all pretty good looking guys who were know for goofing off a bit. They were pretty popular, but smart at the same time. Ruby believed that Graham was the best looking; Belle kept quiet blushing when Will's name was brought up, and Regina refused to partake._

_The drive to the cabin was one of the best days Emma ever had. It was filled with laughter, a ton of sing-alongs, and a ton of bonding. She learned more about the girls than she really wanted to learn so quickly, but she was having the time of her life._

_When they arrived at the cabin three guys outside cutting up wood for the bonfire met them. Ruby actually let out a moan – all three guys were shirtless. Yes, they were all sophomores, but they could still appreciate a good-looking guy. Emma had to agree; they were all in really good shape. Regina looked up from the passenger seat, making her first real comment on the guys in front of them when Emma questioned who they were, her brother no where insight._

"_That's Graham, Will, and Robin." She commented pointing at each guy as she said his names._

"_Hello lassies" the one named Will called out to them, "You must be Emma. You do look a lot like David." He said taking Emma's hand in his._

"_Yeah," she said, " this is Mary Margaret, Ruby, Regina, and Belle." She said, introducing the girls to the guys. Robin and Graham followed suite._

"_Where's David?" Emma questioned looking around the woods that surrounded the cabin. Her brother was nowhere to be seen._

"_Oh, he had to run into town with Killian. We realized we didn't have enough food to cook with and we also needed supplies for s'mores!" Robin said._

"_They should be back soon." Graham added._

_Emma was taken aback by the guys. Yes, they were all very good looking, but that wasn't what sparked her interest. All of them had accents. Graham's was a bit heavier than Will's and Robin's but they all had that sexy accent American's girls swoon over. Ruby had failed to mention the accents when they were gossiping about them earlier._

_They moved into the cabin so that the guys could clean up, and they started to get to know one another. Emma was surprised that the groups fit together so well. Conversation flowed easily, and they all had a lot in common. Robin and Regina shared a love for student government. Graham and Ruby both loved weird Indie films. Belle and Will both loved books and preferred to read over watching a movie._

_Once the boys were cleaned up, they moved back outside to start the bonfire. David and Killian still weren't back yet, but the boys weren't worried. Graham said it normally took an hour to get to the Wal-Mart, so they should be back soon. The logs were piled and the fire started right as the sun began to set. It was one thing Emma really loved about Virginia – the sunsets were truly captivating. The late summer air turned bright orange and pink. The cabin had amazing views of the Blue Ridge Mountains in the distance, which made the oranges and pinks even more vibrant._

_The sun was finally dipping below the mountains when a large truck came pulling up to the cabin. She could see her brother in the front seat. He had the biggest grin on his face. She could tell he was truly happy. She peered over to the passenger's seat. She knew she was staring, but she couldn't help it._

_The guy who climbed down from the truck wasn't what she had anticipated. It was pretty dark outside now, but she could see that he had a good set of hair on his head. It was the perfect shade of brown, almost dark enough to be black, but looked auburn in the sunset. He was tall, almost the perfect height. He was in conversation with David, and he had must have said something funny, because Killian let out a huge laugh that buzzed through her. She enjoyed the way her brother looked with his friend._

_As they moved towards the bonfire, she was able to fully take in his features, but what stood out to her were his eyes. They were a blue that she had never seen before. They were almost as blue as the ocean. They were caring and welcoming._

_David walked over to the group with Killian following close behind._

"_Hey little sis." David said as he moved towards his sister. She hated when he called her that. They were twins dammit. Yes, he was twenty whole minutes older, but it didn't mean she was the little sister._

"_Hey David. Thank god you're finally here. I was getting worried. And I'm not your little sister." She said sarcastically when he hugged her._

"_So I see you met the guys." He questioned, nodding over to the guys as they tended the fire._

"_Yeah, you are right, they are pretty amazing." She confessed._

"_That they are." He responded. Emma turned back towards the fire. The stars were now out and were speckled across the sky and danced in the light of the fire. "Oh, I almost forgot…" he trailed off._

"_Emma, this is Killian." He said, pushing Emma right in front of the man in question._

"_Evening lass, a pleasure." He said, reaching up to take her hand in his._

"_A little formal there don't you think." She responded. She didn't mean to come off as an asshole; she had just never heard someone so formal with her. It was cute actually, but at the same time a bit cocky._

"_I'm always a gentleman lass, good form and all." He winked. It was in that moment her life was going to change forever._


	12. Chapter 12

KILLIAN'S POV

He listens intently to Emma's rendition of their story. It had been almost thirteen years since they met, almost thirteen years since she walked into his life and changed everything he knew to be true. He watched Henry and Lily as Emma weaved the story. Henry was in awe of everything; the normally quizzical boy sat in silence listening to his mother. Lily had a huge smile on her face - it was the same smile she had when listening to a fairytale or watching one on the TV.

Hearing Emma describe their first encounter was something special. He had actually never heard her tell the story before. People used to ask them how they all became friends, but no one ever really told the story - just gave a quick explanation of friendship happens in the most unlikely places. Her words were captivating and bewitching. The way she explained their first meeting was something he would remember for the rest of his life.

When they guys invited David put to the cabin that fateful Thursday, Killian never imagined what could happen. David had asked if his twin sister could come up as well. He mentioned that they rarely did anything without the other, and that he had been feeling a bit left out since she found herself a group of friends. When Graham heard that one of her friends was none other than Ruby Lucas, he jumped at the chance to spend time with her and invited Emma's whole group.

Killian had thought his life was close to perfect at that time. Yes, he was still grieving over the death of his mother, and Liam was constantly working to provide him with a better life, but things were good. He was enjoying school, he had a great group of friends, and he was even told that if he continued to practice hard, he could earn a scholarship to university. It wasn't until Emma that he realized he was missing something.

While Emma was discussing his constant need to always be a gentleman and have good form, he recollected on a couple of moments later on.

* * *

_Sophomore year_

_The drive down to Graham's family cabin had been one for the ages. Normally the guys would need someone's parents to drive them down, but David actually had a driver's license. Yes, it was rare for a sophomore to have a license, but the guys didn't question it. Instead they just piled into Graham's SUV and headed down to the cabin. They spent the time discussing things that normal high school guys discuss: girls, movies, girls, football, and girls. Killian already knew that Graham had a crush on Ruby, so it was no surprise to him that he spent the last thirty minutes discussing her beauty. What did surprise him thought was Will's confession that he found Belle utterly intriguing claiming that even though they had never officially met she captivated him._

_Friday was night that five guys became the best of friends. David had molded perfectly into their group. Their group was suddenly whole. They hadn't realized they were missing a piece until David's arrival. They spent the evening playing paintball and fishing on the lake nearby. He learned more about his newest friend, and realized that he had more in common with David than the rest of the group, quickly becoming firm and best friends._

"_So, I gotta ask, why do you all have accents?" David pondered while him and Killian sat on the docks the rest of the group was busy out on the boat. Killian laughed at the question. It was actually a question they got quite often._

"_Robin grew up in London and moved here last year. His mom works at the Embassy. Will came over from London too, but about 4 years ago. His mom came to study at a university and they never left. Graham is from Ireland - his dad works with the government at Interior. I came over a couple years ago myself from Dublin when my dad left my mom. We all ended up at the same school and because we were the weird group with accents, we stuck together." He smiled. It hadn't happened on purpose, but it was like fate drew the boys together. Will and Killian met soon after Killian's mother died while they were in middle school. The teacher had paired them together on every project and assignment, hoping to help the boys feel more comfortable. When Graham showed up the following year, their next teacher did the same thing. When Robin showed up freshman year, they knew they would take him under their wings._

"_It's only right then that you fit in so well with the group." Killian added, looking over at his new friend._

"_Why is that?" David questioned._

"_Well mate, even though you are American, you never really lived here. We are a group of lost boys per say. We don't really belong at home, yet we don't really belong here. We've all found each other though." He said with a wink._

"_Well, I am glad to be here." Killian felt the same, he was glad they were all here._

* * *

_The following morning found the guys sleeping in, none of them really wanting to wake up and start the day. It was noon before the first one roused themselves from their sleeping bags they had arranged on the floor of the cabin. They cabin was nice, and had rooms with beds, but the guys enjoyed "roughing it" and hanging out all night. They had played some video games and watched a movie. David was the first one to actually start to move._

"_We should probably start cleaning up and getting the campfire ready. Emma said the girls were leaving around noon, so they should be here in a few hours." David looked giddy almost._

"_Excited mate?" Graham questioned._

"_Yeah, it's weird being away from Emma. We've never really been separated. But also, I am excited to see Mary Margaret." He smiled, his face turning a shade of red._

"_You like Mary Margaret?" Robin was stunned by David's statement. Robin had asked David yesterday if there was anyone he liked, but David kept mum._

"_I am not really sure. She's been coming around for years - she and Emma have been best friends since elementary school - when we actually lived in the states that one time. Once a year, sometimes twice, Mary Margaret would come and visit. Most of the time it was during the summer. Instead of camp, her parents would send her to wherever we were stationed. I used to hate it, but then last year, her parents didn't send her, instead Emma went to her in California. I was so angry the whole summer. I still don't really know what I feel, but I know I like having her around. She is pretty amazing. She's so kind and generous, she is always helping out." he said. Killian saw David's whole demeanor change when he talked about Mary Margaret. He relaxed whenever he said her name. His voice was actually less intimidating when talking about her. If Killian were a betting man, he would bet that they would be together by the end of the semester, and probably be in love before the end of the school year._

_They spent the morning cleaning up from their previous night and preparing the bonfire. It was around three when they realized that they had run out of items for the bonfire and most importantly s'mores. Killian chuckled at the thought. It was such an American thing to do; yet here they were yelling at each other because Will forgot the s'mores._

"_You wanker." Robin growled._

"_Fucking perfect." Graham mumbled._

"_Oi mate, it was you who were supposed to remind me." Will said, pointing a finger back at Graham._

"_I am not your babysitter Scarlet. It's not up to me to wipe your shit and it isn't up to me to fix your bloody mistakes." Graham was furious. Killian couldn't blame him; Will did have a tendency to not take responsibility for anything._

"_Alright lads, calm down." Killian stepped in. "David and I will go to the store in town and get the items we need. No need to bitch about it. You all just take care of getting the wood ready."_

_They all nodded. Killian looked over at Robin. Robin didn't seem like the leader when you looked at him, but he had a way of making those around him follow. He was also the calmest of the group._

"_Can you please make sure they don't kill each other before our return." Killian said. He knew it wouldn't come to that, but Graham and Will both had some tempers and knew just the right buttons to push with each other. They brawled at least once a month, never leaving any lasting effects, but Killian didn't want to put up with it this weekend._

"_Aye." Robin nodded as Killian walked over to David who was waiting next to the giant truck that was left at the cabin._

"_Graham said that we could take his dad's truck." Killian looked at David, who was extending the keys to him. David, and his sister, were the oldest in the group, but Killian wasn't far behind. While they were the only two to have their licenses, Killian and a couple others had their permits. He also knew the area was lenient when it came to the rules of younger kids driving. As long as they went slow, they would be fine. He climbed in and they headed into town._

* * *

_The girls were already there when they arrived back to the cabin. Dave was nervous as they started up the driveway towards the house. They hadn't expected to take that long in town, but three hours later, they had all their supplies and were ready to get the night started. As they pulled up to the cabin, they could see the figures of eight people surrounding the giant bonfire that had been created. The lads didn't disappoint. They all wanted to show the girls a good time. One lass however, was off to the side by herself. He couldn't tell much from the outline of her body, but he took a wild guess that she was sister in question. She was bathed in firelight. She was just a bit shorter than David, but held herself in the same way he did. It was a confident stance, but he could see beneath it, she was a bit scared to be there. Killian was taken a back as she turned towards the truck, finally seeing her for the first time._

_They pulled in and climbed down form the truck. Killian's nerves were getting the best of him. He had never felt such an instant connection to someone before - and they hadn't even spoken yet, hadn't even really seen the lass yet. He peered over to David who was staring off at the group of others surrounding the bonfire. He knew he was looking for Mary Margaret. While they were driving back, Dave confided in Killian that he knew he liked Mary Margaret but he also needed her friendship. He didn't want to do anything to fuck it up, and he didn't want to mess up her relationship with his sister either. Killian advised that he take Mary Margaret aside and explain his feelings - telling her that if she didn't want any of it, he would still cherish her friendship: as long as she was happy, he was happy._

"_Here's your chance mate." Killian whispered as they began to walk closer to the group._

"_I'm gonna piss myself." David said, worried about what could happen in the next few minutes._

_Killian let out a deep laugh. He knew that in the end, David and Mary Margaret would be just fine. Even if she didn't feel the same way towards him, he doubted that it would change anything in their dynamic. From what Dave told him, she was a kind soul, never had a bad word to say and never held a grudge. If she were truly as wonderful as he said, David would be the happiest man alive. He was surprised though when David went for his sister instead of Mary Margaret, but he realized his sister must ground him, make him feel calm._

"_Hey little sis." David said as he moved towards his sister. Killian finally got a good look at the girl who was now in front of him. She had long blonde hair. It was a few shades lighter than David's and it hung down her back. She looked like him too, but not in a way that screamed twins. In fact, if they hadn't said anything, he would have just thought she was his little sister. Her features were a tad softer than her twins, yet her eyes held a fierceness that David's didn't._

_Her eyes are what stopped him in his tracks. It was like they were emeralds, bright greens mixed in with hints of yellow and blue. She had eyes that could lure men to their deaths if she was a siren. He had never been so taken with a lass before._

"_Hey David. Thank god your finally here. I was getting worried. And I'm not your little sister." She said sarcastically when he hugged her._

"_So I see you met the guys." He questioned, nodding over to the guys as they tended the fire._

"_Yeah, you are right, they are pretty amazing." She confessed._

"_That they are." He responded. Emma turned back towards the fire. The stars were now out and were speckled across the sky and danced in the light of the fire. "Oh, I almost forgot…" he trailed off._

"_Emma, this is Killian." He said, pushing Emma right in front of the man in question._

"_Evening lass, a pleasure." He said, reaching up to take her hand in his._

"_A little formal there don't you think." She responded as she gave him her hand. Her handshake was firm, demanding._

"_I'm always a gentleman lass, good form and all." He winked. It was in that moment her life was going to change forever._

* * *

_The night wore on, and the group was settling down around the fire. They had spent the past couple hours roasting marshmallows and hotdogs. They were all getting to know one another. Killian was surprised how well the two groups meshed. He knew that after tonight, the group would be inseparable. The conversations going on around him flowed easily, yet they were calm and filled with joy. It was nothing like he had seen before. It never felt like anyone was on the outside of a conversation with them, everyone involved, everyone moving around the pit leaving and joining different conversations. It was like they were a perfect machine._

_After his introduction to Emma, the three of them had moved around to find Mary Margaret in a conversation with Will and Belle, who were discussing books vs. movies and did the latest Harry Potter film do the book justice. Emma's laughter filled the air around him as she heard Will tell Belle that he believed that the movies were better than the books. Her laughter was contagious and soon everyone around them was laughing. He wasn't sure what it was, but suddenly he knew that he couldn't have a life without this girl in it._

_David had moved Mary Margaret away from the group, and they were in a secret conversation near the tree line. Killian couldn't tell what was happening though, as the firelight was too dim for him to read the situation._

"_She has loved him since the fourth grade." A warm voice said behind him._

"_Is that so lass?" he responded turning around to face Emma._

"_They have both been head over heals for each other for as long as I can remember. David always had to find a way to include himself in our activities during the summer, and Mary Margaret never wanted to do anything unless we asked if David wanted to come. Last year, when her parents offered me a place for the summer and David was left in Japan, I thought they were both going to explode." she let out a giggle._

"_Aye lass, Dave did mention how angry he was last summer. He said that he was going to tell Mary Margaret tonight about his infatuation with her." He stated, noticing how Emma rolled her eyes at the way he used the word._

"_Wanna bet? I know my brother pretty well, and I say he chickens out." Emma said, sounding very confident in her assessment._

"_And what shall we be betting on? What are the stakes lass?" He smirked._

"_I bet you that he comes back within ten minutes claiming that they just talked about everyone getting together for this fun weekend. He will say the moment didn't feel right and he couldn't find the words to tell her his feelings." she stated._

"_Alright lass, I bet that they come back together, hand in hand. They won't make a big announcement though, but they will have the dopiest looks on their faces. I even bet that your dear brother will have a bit of red in his cheeks from slight embarrassment and giddiness." he teased._

"_OK, but what do I get when I win?" she questioned._

"_What would you like?" he looked over her face. She was confident she was going to win._

"_How about we just say that the person who loses owes the other a favor to be cashed in at anytime, no questions asked." she suggested._

"_Deal." he shook her extended hand._

_Ten minutes later Mary Margaret and David returned, and lo and behold they were hand in hand. Killian's smile grew substantially, causing Emma to let out a huff and smacked him on his arm. She stood up from the log they were sitting on and walked over to Regina and Ruby. She spent the rest of the night glaring at her brother, who wouldn't take his hand away from Mary Margaret's._

"_Sorry lass, tough break." he said a few minutes later when she returned._

"_How did you know?" she questioned._

"_Well lass, you and your bother are bit of open books. It's not so hard to get a read on you. For example, even though you are pissed that you lost the bet, you still had fun. You still believe that something else happened with David and Mary Margaret that we don't know. You are also jealous of them. They now have each other, while you are third wheel." she scoffed at his response._

"_You don't know what you are talking about" he chuckled at her response._

"_Don't I?" he said with a smile_

_He knew what she was feeling because he had felt it multiple times over the past couple of years. He loved his friends and he loved Liam, but whenever someone else came along, he always became the third wheel. In fact, he was a bit jealous of David as well. He was able to find someone that he wanted to be with, while Killian had never really felt that way._

_Well he was starting to feel that way. Emma was still sitting next to him, staring at the fire. She was deep in thought from their conversation. She had struck him the moment he laid eyes on her. Of course he had been, she was stunning. But the connection he was feeling for was hard to understand. It was like they were meant to meet, like fates brought them together._

_As the night wore on, David brought out his guitar and the entire group started to sing along. Emma stayed next to him all night. Around one in the morning, most of the group had moved inside. The bonfire was put out and it was a bit chilly - even for early September in Virginia. He had stayed out. The whip-poor-will's calls were soothing to him; the forest was the next best place to him besides the sea. Emma was still by his side. For a while, they just sat in silence - a silent conversation flowing between them._

"_I guess I am jealous of them." she whispered. Her voice was so soft he almost didn't hear her at first. Her voice held sadness and a bit self-conscious. Was she really worried about David's blossoming relationship with her best friend?_

"_Aye?" he asked._

"_Yeah, I am happy for them, really I am, but I am also worried and a bit jealous. Mary Margaret has loved my brother for years, but she had always been too nervous or too scared to do anything about it, so everything stayed the same. I am happy that she is happy, she deserves to be, but I am worried that everything will change. I know what will happen - I will become the third wheel. When they started to walk back together I realized. No longer will it be Emma and Mary Margaret. It will now be Mary Margaret and David. I guess I am not really sure where I will fit in. I am worried that I will lose my best friend." she confessed._

_He knew what she meant. What it meant to want your best friends to be happy, but at the same time be worried that their happiness may challenge yours. He had only known David for a short amount of time, but what if his confession to Mary Margaret changed the way they interacted? He knew it was stupid, how could he feel a connection to these two people so quickly, but yet it was there._

"_Don't worry lass. It will all be OK. Yes, Mary Margaret and David will start to spend a lot of time together, but that doesn't mean they love you any less." he told her, looking over at her. She was sitting on the porch swing. Her legs were curled to her chest, she looked so unsure of everything. He reached over and picked up the blanket that was placed on the table. He handed it to her, noticing that she was also slightly shivering._

"_Your speech sounds like one that parents give to their kids when they get divorced. Besides, how would you even know?" She was right, he did sound a bit like a parent's speech. He chuckled. He did receive a similar statement from his mother after his father left: she told him it wasn't his fault his dad had left and even though his father had to leave, she was sure he still loved them._

"_Well lass, my brother and I were pretty close, almost as close as you and David or you and Mary Margaret. When he got a girlfriend, I was worried that things would change. He would no longer want to hang out with his little brother. Yes, things did change, but he didn't love me any less. Yes, we spent less time together, but when we were together the time was cherished a bit more and was a bit more fulfilling. Also, I sound like a speech because it was what my mother told me when my father left. She said he didn't love me any less, but things would be different." he said. He had never told anyone about his father's absence. They guys never asked, and he never told. Yet, he felt like he needed to let Emma know he did have an idea about what she was feeling._

"_Your mother sounds like a smart woman." Emma added._

"_She was." he replied with a sigh._

"_I'm sorry Killian." She whispered as she pulled the blanket he had given her higher across her body._

"_Aye lass, thank you, but you don't have to be. She passed a few years ago." He smiled at her. Her apology helped a bit. Yes, he still hurt about his mother's passing, but somehow her apology helped to fill a hole._

"_What am I going to do?" she questioned a few moments later._

"_Well there is only one thing you can do: support them. Your life is going to change. But she will always be your friend and he will always be your brother. That will not change. Plus, you have me now. If you ever need anything, you can always come talk to me." She smiled at his offer. "I hope that I can do the same."_

"_Of course." With that response, Killian realized that he had gained a new friend, one that he would come to rely on for years to come._

* * *

"So you became best friends with my mom that night?" Henry questioned Killian, bringing him back from his memory.

"Aye lad, that night I gained one of my best friends. I didn't know it at the time, but your mom weaved her way into my life. Over the next couple of months we became closer until we stopped going to others for help, relying on each other for everything. It became the perfect friendship." He said. It was nothing but the truth. That night at the bonfire he gained a friend, and it took a couple of months, but eventually they realized that their friendship surpassed the friendships of the others in the group. Sure, they still had connections with the others and they all were still friends, but Killian knew that Emma was his first line of defense and he always seemed to go to her with his problems and worries over everyone else.

"Killian was there for me when it seemed like no one else was. We became closer than even Mary Margaret and I ever were." Emma added.

"Awww, that's so sweet." Lily added in and it made Emma giggle and blush.

"I guess it is sweet. Your brother was my biggest supporter and most trusted friend." She said.

"Aye love, and you were mine." He said, reaching for her hand.

* * *

Killian and Lily drove the Swan family home after dinner. The rest of the night had gone similar to the beginning. Lily and Henry probed them for stories of high school and their times together. While the stories they told were important, none were as significant as the bonfire. He had truly enjoyed the night with the kids and Emma. Henry had started to open up to Killian once he heard the story of how he helped his mother the night of the bonfire. Lily had become even more obsessed with Emma as the night wore on. When Emma started telling tales about the girls joining cheerleading their junior year so that group could spend even more time together, Lily was hooked.

It was during that story that Killian realized how much he had hurt Lily in the past few years. Sure, he did everything he could to keep her safe, and he was proud of that, but he also kept her away from any female influence. She had grown up around Smee and him, which couldn't have been good for a young lady. Lily was engrossed with Emma - hanging onto every word, asking questions that only a woman could answer. It warmed his heart to see his Swan interacting with Lily in the way she was. If a stranger had looked in on the group at that moment, they would never guess that Lily wasn't Emma's daughter from the way Emma was treating and talking with Lily.

When they arrived back to the home, Emma and Henry invited them inside for a minute. Henry wanted to show Killian his video game collection and Lily wanted to look at Emma's closet. However, once they got inside the kids raced off to Henry's room. Henry had forgot to mention during the night that he had a kitten that Emma had given him for Christmas that year. Lily had always wanted a pet, but with Killian's hectic schedule he didn't think a pet would work for them. When he saw the brightness in his sister's eyes as they raced towards the room, he knew that a pet was needed in order to make his new house feel like a home to his sister.

"So Swan, how do you think it went?" he questioned as she led him into the kitchen to get him a drink.

"Lily is amazing Killian, you did such a good job raising her." She smiled at him. He had never needed conformation that he was doing a good job with his sister, but when she said it, he was surprised to find out that he needed to hear it from her.

"Thank you love. Henry is a wonderful lad as well." He said, hugging her from behind.

"I have a favor to ask of you love." He added, leaning down to kiss her neck. They had stayed apart for most of the evening. Just slight touches here and there, wanting to be proper around their kids.

"What?" She asked as she turned in his arms.

"Well, Lily has grown up without a mother and without any real womanly influence. I was wondering if you would be willing to spend some time with her, just the two of you. I think it would help her feel a bit better about things. She's had nannies over the years, but she never really connected with them. I could see she really connected with you tonight, and I would owe you the world if you would just spend some time with her." he said.

"Of course Killian, you don't even have to ask. In fact, I was going to ask you if I could spend some time with her. She really is an amazing child, but I could tell she needs some womanly influence in her life." She reached up on her toes and planted a kiss on his lips. It was chaste, but was filled with so much promise and worth.

"Thank you love."

"Anytime." she winked. "I have an idea. Where was Lily going to stay this weekend?"

"With Smee at the townhouse. Why?" he raised an eyebrow at her question.

"Well, Henry is going to stay with my parents, and I am sure that they wouldn't mind taking Lily too. She shouldn't have to spend a boring weekend with your assistant. Instead, she could stay with my parents and Henry and they could actually have some fun. Who knows, maybe they will become friends. It will be nice for Lily to make some before she starts school." Emma offered. A huge smile appeared on his face.

"I think that is a brilliant idea Swan, but are you sure your parents will be OK with it. I am sure they are not too happy with me. You have forgiven me, and so has David, but it doesn't change the fact that I hurt you. Parents can hold grudges."

"Don't I know it." she winked, "but yes, they are OK with it. I actually asked them already. Mary Margaret let it slip to them during her weekly dinner date with my mom, that you were back, and while they were upset that you left, when she told them why, they were actually quite understanding. In fact, my mom immediately asked if she was going to get to meet Lily. You know how my mom is with kids."

"Aye love, I do. Your mother has a knack for children." he added.

"So what do you say?" she pondered.

"Well love, I think it's a brilliant idea." he smiled.

"OK, my mom will be here around seven tomorrow to pick them up, so if you can get here a bit earlier to get Lily ready, that would be great."

"Aye lass, I cannot wait." with that he pulled her into a kiss that thanked her for everything. He owed everything to her.

"Ewwww" two voices rang out behind them. He turned to see Henry and Lily standing in the living room. Henry had a pure look of disgust on his face. Lily though, while trying to look disgusted, was actually smiling a bit, trying to hide laughter. She was holding Henry's cat - an all black thing named Binx.

"Sorry kids." Emma said, blushing a bit.

"Well, I think it is time for Lily and I to make our leave. But before we go, Lily what would you say to spending the weekend with Henry and his grandparents?" Lily was nodding her head excitedly before he even finished his question.

"Yes, yes, yes!" she squealed.

"Alright then, let's get you home and ready for the weekend." he nodded. "We will see you bright and early tomorrow Swan. Good night Henry." he called to the boy who was trying to take Binx back from Lily. "Good night love, see you in the morning." and with a swift kiss, one that was much too short, he walked over to Lily and took their leave.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Just for everyone's information the Whip-poor-whil is a bird that sings at night on the east coast.


	13. Chapter 13

EMMA'S POV

Morning came too slowly. It reminded her of the trips when Mary Margaret would visit or vice versa. It always seemed to take longer for the moment to arrive. What should have been only a few hours, seemed like days. Yet, everything that had been happening recently seemed to go so quickly that it was a bit of a blur.

She had slept OK the night before, falling into a deep sleep while thinking about the little family date they had the night before. She'd had an amazing time getting to know Lily better. She loved the way she interacted with the little girl. However, it was the way she saw Killian interact with her son that made her heart stop. It was an indescribable feeling, watching their easy banter, one that tugged on her heartstrings, and one she didn't want to stop anytime soon.

Sitting up in bed, she also couldn't believe that she had called it a family date. Was she really already thinking about them as family? Yes, Killian had been her best friend years ago, and she would have described him as family, but now? She wasn't quite sure. She was enjoying where their relationship was going, but she hadn't questioned him about what they were to each other. Did she want them to become her family? Was she ready for them to become her family? It was all happening pretty quick.

Emma was thinking too hard. She deserved to be happy, and Killian made her happy. She liked being around him and she liked the way he interacted with her son. So why did everything else even matter? Besides, she knew what Killian was already feeling, or at least she thought she did. He proclaimed that he was here for good, that he wasn't going anywhere. Why would he say that if he didn't see himself with Emma in the future? Why would he say that if he didn't already see her as family? After all, he asked her to get to know Lily better and to spend time with her. She knew he wouldn't say the words, but mother-daughter bonding came to mind when she heard him ask her. She would be lying to herself if she said she didn't want that to happen. She would also be lying if she said she didn't want Killian and Henry bonding the way she wanted to with Lily.

Smiling to herself, she realized, yes, they were a family.

* * *

Emma's mother Ruth Swan pulled up to her daughter's house a quarter to seven. Emma's mother was a force to be reckoned with. The woman was getting older, but still demanded attention wherever she went. Even though she demanded to be seen, she was loving and caring. All she wanted was for her children to be happy and healthy. She loved fiercely and forever. When Emma had come home from her freshman year at college to tell her parents that she was pregnant; she was scared shitless of what her mother might think. She already knew her father would be upset - his little girl was no longer little or a girl. However, she wasn't sure how her mother would take the news.

Surprised didn't even cover it. Ruth immediately enveloped Emma in her arms and told her daughter that everything would be fine. That they would support her in whatever decision she made. All they wanted was for Emma to be happy. When Henry was born, Ruth took to the boy instantly. He had quickly become her favorite person in the entire family. Emma remembers her actually leaving one of her father's important parties, because she wanted to spend the time with Henry instead.

"Grandma!" Henry yelled, running down the stairs at full speed when he saw her walk in the door. Henry was normally not a morning person, but when it came to his grandma, nothing could stop his excitement.

"My boy!" She smiled and pulled him into a large bear hug. "Where's your mom?"

"In the kitchen. She is packing snacks for the ride" Henry answered.

"OK, go get your stuff ready. I want you back up here in fifteen minutes ready to leave." she told him, smiling to herself.

"Mom? Is that you?" Emma called form the kitchen. She smiled when her mom moved into the kitchen.

"Good morning darling." Ruth said, moving towards her daughter to pull her into a hug and a kiss on the cheek.

"Morning mom. Thanks again for taking Henry: and thanks again for taking Lily too. Are you sure you and dad are OK with her coming over?" She questioned. They hadn't really talked about Killian's return. She was still quite upset that Mary Margaret told her first, but it didn't surprise her. Mary Margaret was probably closer with her mom than she was. Her mom and dad were furious with Killian when he left; he broke their daughter's heart. However, when Mary Margaret told them that it was because he was just trying to protect everyone from his father's enemies, they actually quite understanding. Her mother called her that night and asked Emma everything. Emma didn't really give much away, except that they were seeing each other and that she had forgiven him for leaving.

Her mother had loved Killian like her own son; especially after Liam died. She made him lasagna at least once a month, so that he was able to eat a home cooked meal if he wanted one. Her father always included him when he was going to do something with David. Her family had become his family. They never said it, but she was sure his leaving broke them a bit too.

She wasn't surprised when her mother requested that Killian's sister stay with them that weekend. Her mother was obsessed with kids: you kind of have to be to be an elementary school teacher. She was actually happy that Lily would get the chance to be around her mother. She felt a bit of pain for the girl, growing up with no grandparents, no one to dote on you or spoil you. She knew that this weekend, that would change for Lily. She knew that no matter what happened between her and Killian after today, her mother would always be there for the young girl.

"Of course dear, I actually can't wait to meet her. You know your father and I always loved Killian, and even though he fucked up when he left you, we still cared about his well being. Knowing that he did everything to protect you and his sister only shows us that he is a worthy man." She said winking. Emma laughed. Yes, her mother might be a teacher, but she cursed like a sailor. She hadn't told her parents everything about what happened with Killian, and she probably would never tell them the whole story, but they knew just enough to understand his absence and return.

"Thank mom." Emma added, throwing the last part of their road trip snacks into her bag. Sure, Belle had said she was going to bring snacks, but she knew that meant healthy snacks like carrot sticks and celery. So to be on the safe side, Emma had packed the unhealthy snacks like GORP (good ole' raisins and peanuts with M&Ms) and beef jerky. As she went to move it into the foyer where the rest of her bags laid, she heard cars pulling up outside. Taking a peek through the windows that surrounded the door, she saw Killian and Lily get out of his car that he parked in the driveway, followed by Will and Belle. Regina's SUV sat in the street so everyone could park in the driveway. Will and Belle looked to be dragging, along with Killian, but Lily was bouncing up and down waiting for him to get her luggage for the weekend.

"They're here!" yelled Henry from the bottom of the stairs that lead to the basement, how he knew they were there, she didn't know. She knew her son was happy about staying with his grandmother, but she also detected a hint of excitement to be spending the weekend with Lily. Sure, he had friends, and sure he had Roland around the house, but he never had anyone close to his age within the group. Emma was glad that Henry was getting a friend out of this. However, it also scared her too. Worries of being left came flooding back into her mind. She was worried that if things didn't work out with Killian, that Henry would be hurt in the aftermath. She sighed as the doorbell rang.

Henry had made it up the stairs and to the front door in record time, throwing it open and running to meet Lily. They both started talking to each other at the same time. Emma giggled at the sight, and any fear she had about Henry getting hurt washed away. She saw the look on Killian's face; one that showed so much hope for his sister and her new friendship. He had mentioned that she really only had friends at her last school, never spending time with them outside of school hours, so seeing her interact so seamlessly with Henry made him happy. Her thoughts went back to her mother - Emma would make sure, just like her mother would, that if things were to end badly with Killian, she wouldn't let it affect her relationship with Lily and she wouldn't let Henry's friendship with her die.

After quick introductions and movement of luggage, everyone was ready to go. Lily had taken to Ruth quicker than she had to Emma. Without prompting or request, Lily hugged Ruth right away, thanking her for letting her stay the weekend and saying how much fun she knew they were already going to have. Ruth couldn't hide her glee at the child. Emma knew she had always wanted a granddaughter, and it looked like she was getting her wish in that moment.

* * *

The ride down to the cabin wasn't bad. It was about the same distance from their house as Graham's had been, but instead of the two lane highway they would normally take, they could stay on the wider interstate for most of the journey. Emma always had to drive: she tended to get car sick if she didn't, especially on the back roads. Killian had taken to the front passenger seat, while Belle and Will were sleeping in the back.

Even with the sleeping couple in the back seat, she popped in one of her mix CDs and started to sing along. She chose the CD at random, and it was only two songs into the playlist when she realized that she had chosen the CD that they had listened to when he took her to the beach that first midnight trip. She smiled at the memory.

"What's so funny love?" he questioned, turning his body to watch her.

"Nothing, just reminiscing." She smiled.

"Aye, I remember the first time you played this CD for me too. I was so wrapped up in Liam's death that I forgot you all needed me too. When you called begging me to take you away, I knew I had to rescue you. When you put in the CD, it was like all my worries and depression faded away." He confessed. He didn't look sad. His expression was one of appreciation. "However, I have to ask, why do you still use the CDs? You have an iPhone. Why not just use it."

"Tradition, these CDs hold so many memories within them, they mean so much. Most of the time I do use my iPhone, but today, I wanted to throw things back a bit." She winked at him. This weekend was going to be about getting back to normal, about getting back to the way things used to be.

* * *

They arrived at the cabin sooner than Emma thought. Thankfully they had missed most of the traffic leaving the city. Mary Margaret had a light breakfast waiting for them, and Emma couldn't help but smile. What Mary Margaret had called a light breakfast when she helped them unload the SUV with help from the rest of the group, turned out to be a huge breakfast. She had cooked waffles, pancakes, hash browns, grits, eggs, sausage and bacon. They had originally planned to all brunch together, but by the time the trip rolled around, Mary Margaret had squashed the idea. No one was going to interrupt their tradition.

Once they had eaten, she showed everyone to their rooms. The cabin was gorgeous. Emma had been here many times before, but each time she was floored by how amazing the place was. It was modern and rustic all at the same time. It was big enough to house the entire group, plus some. When the couple had begun to look at a getaway, Mary Margaret had really only one request of David - there needed to be room for everyone, kids included. Unfortunately David was unable to find Mary Margaret the perfect cabin, so he built one. To say it was perfect for them would be an understatement.

Normally Emma and Henry would share the room that was located on the bottom floor. The cabin had three floors. The bottom housed the kitchen and large living room, as well as a game room. The second floor was mostly bedrooms and bathrooms, but did have the most amazing sunroom. The third floor also housed bedrooms, but was also the location of the large master bedroom. Emma was actually quite jealous that David was able to do this for his wife. He worked hard through college and med school. In fact, he was even able to skip a year in university - graduating early and starting on his medical degree sooner than expected. He didn't have to pay for college at all, getting a scholarship to play football. He also received a scholarship for medical school for his grades. So when he took his job as a trauma surgeon, he used the money to build Mary Margaret her dream cabin.

As she walked over to her room, she realized that this was going to be the first night she was going to get to spend with Killian. Well, the first night she would spend with him as something more. They had spent the night together before, when they were younger and not together. Tonight was going to be different. Two queen beds filled up the space. She always took the bed next to the large window, so that she could watch the sunset and the moon dance across the lake. She dropped her bags at the foot of the bed and sat down.

"Something bothering you love?" she heard his question from the door. Looking up from her lap, she could see his blue eyes. Normally they could calm her, but today they made her a bit more nervous. She thought back a few nights to when they had been in his office. She had been worried that they were taking things too quickly, yet she had a desperate need for him. That worry came rushing back. Now that they were going to actually be alone, with a bed, and a few hours to really spend with each other, would things finally progress with them?

"Love, if you prefer, I can sleep in this bed. I don't want to do anything that will make you uncomfortable." She smiled at his proposition, as he was pointing to the bed Henry normally slept in. He was always the gentleman.

"No, it's fine. I guess I am just worried. Everything has been happening so fast. Don't get me wrong; I love where it is going. I guess I am just scared that all of this may be a dream." She confessed. There was sadness behind his eyes when he sat down next to her.

"You are still worried that I may leave?" he whispered.

"Yes. I am sorry Killian, but I am." She sighed. "I know it's stupid. You moved here, you bought an office. I know you are here."

He pulled her into his side. His arm wrapped around her shoulders as he cradled her into him. He planted a kiss into her hair. She felt safe. The worries seemed to melt away when he was around her.

"Love, I understand your trepidation, but eventually you are going to have to trust me." He stated. She knew he was right. She did trust him, but she was scared that she would lose him. She had lost him once before, she could lose him again.

"I do trust you Killian, more than you could know, that isn't what I'm worried about. I'm afraid to lose you; I just can't lose you again." She confessed.

"You needn't worry love, I am not going anywhere. There is something else bothering you though, I can tell. You can lie to everyone else, but you can't lie to me." She glanced up at him, he wasn't angry with her. He just wanted her to be happy and to live in the moment.

"It's not just me I worry about though." His eyes held understanding.

"I know you worry about Henry, in the same way I worry about Lily. Know this though Swan, no matter what the outcome, I will be there for Henry, just as I know you will be there for Lily." He was right again; she knew that she was just using her son as an excuse to not let herself fully feel her emotions for Killian. She was scared of what everything meant. "A lot has happened in our past love, but we do best not to dwell on those things. All we can do is live in the here and now. And right now, I am glad that I get to spend more time with you."

He leaned down and planted a chaste kiss to her lips. He always knew what to say to clam her in these moments. She was so worried that something might happen in the future because of forces they couldn't control in the past. She had decided that they were going to start a new, and she couldn't do that if she was stuck in the past.

"You're right. I'm sorry Killian." She sighed into another kiss. All too soon their kiss turned passionate. However, before they could continue with anything, they were interrupted by Ruby's bellowing voice.

"Let's go love birds – the lake awaits!"

* * *

KILLIAN'S POV

He knew there was something troubling Emma. He could tell the moment they arrived at the cabin. Since his return, he could tell she had been fearful of what it may mean for them. He knew that she was scared he would leave again, so he had done everything thing he could think of to prove to her that his presence was permanent. He never wanted to leave her again.

He thought his office space would show her his promise. When they had kissed inside and on his desk, he thought he had torn down that last wall she had built up. However, seeing her so broken and so unsure of herself on the bed shattered him.

This would be their first time actually alone in a bed together. It would be the first time he would get to hold her in his arms as they slept. He would be lying if he said he hadn't pictured them being intimate. However, he knew that this weekend would mean so much more than just that – if it actually happened. He was in this relationship for the long haul, but he wasn't quite sure where Emma stood. Where they went from this point forward was up to her as much as it was up to him.

He wanted to have an actual conversation with her about their relationship; it was killing him that through everything they never really talked about them. Yet it didn't look like that conversation would be happening right now. He wanted her to know that he didn't have any expectations of her – all he wanted was her. He was happy with whatever she was willing to give, whatever she was willing to share. He would be happy even just being friends if that is what she ended up deciding. Yes, it would suck not being able to hold her and love her, but he would do it nonetheless – if it was what she wanted.

After their short conversation, the group moved down to the lake that was situated behind the cabin. David and Mary Margaret owned a small piece of land that backed up to the lake, so they had a small beach area. They spent the rest of the day lounging by the lake, taking the occasional swim out to the platform, and soaking up the sun. Killian's thoughts about his earlier conversation with Emma disappeared into the back of his mind as they day progressed. It helped that Emma was wearing a tiny little black bikini. She still had the same body she had in high school, but her muscles were a bit more defined and her skin more tanned. It took all the strength he had to control his body's response towards her.

Once the sun began to set, and the air began to cool a bit, the group headed back inside to change and prepare for the bonfire. Killian let Emma have some time to herself – opting to change in the extra bathroom on the first floor. They had spent the day together, and he was enjoying his time with her, but there was still something off with her. Yes, she was happy and enjoying herself, but he could see her mind spinning. He had spent most of the day giving her small touches – reaching to hold her hand while they sunbathed, tickling her in the water as they swam to the platform, peppering small kisses on her forehead when she came near him. He was doing everything he could to show her that everything would be OK, that he was here. He wasn't sure what else he could do to ease her mind.

Graham was manning the grill that was set up on the patio near the fire pit that had been installed when the house was built. According to Mary Margaret, it was the only thing David insisted on having at the cabin. David and Robin were setting up the fire. The rest of the group was moving the furniture down towards the pit, so they were all comfortable. They knew that once a bonfire was started, they wouldn't be moving back inside or away from the fire for quite a long time.

He took his place next to Emma, who was facing the pit, but also had a spectacular view of the water. She was seated on a loveseat. She was curled up in herself – legs pulled close to her center by her arms, head resting on the edge of the seat. Normally, he would have scooted closer to her, but he didn't want to put any pressure on her, he didn't want to upset her. However, he kept his body open, just in case she decided that she needed to be closer to him.

Thankfully she scooted closer to him within a minute. She came to rest her head on his shoulder, moving her legs so that they fell over his. He could hear a content sigh escape her. She smelled heavenly – having showered quickly once they had returned from the lake. She smelled a bit like cinnamon and apples. He breathed her in, wanting to cherish every single moment he had with her. When he looked down to her, he saw her smiling. While there was still some distressing thoughts moving around in her pretty head, he could see she was looking better than she had earlier in the day.

Through the dinner and the beginning of the bonfire she didn't leave his side. Everyone had fallen into conversations that reminded him of their first bonfire. No one was talking to anyone in a specific conversation – so everyone could bounce between conversations easily. Will and Robin were discussing football teams. It made him chuckle that his British friends were so engrossed with American football. They had all played in high school – since none of them were actually any good at European football, but were quite good at tackling people. Regina, Belle, and Ruby were all discussing some TV show that they had become obsessed with. Graham joined Mary Margaret and David in a discussion of how the local construction was going to be the death of them.

"I am sorry" he heard a whisper beneath him.

"For what love?" he questioned.

"For my behavior today. I want to explain." She said. He moved a hand to her face and gently pulled her chin upwards so that he could look her in the face.

"Later love, for now, lets live in the moment and enjoy the time we are having." He winked and planted a kiss to her lips.

* * *

They did just that. For the next few hours they lived in the moment. The fire was gorgeous and it was as if he was transported back in time to when he first met Emma. He couldn't believe how lucky he was – he was now sitting with one arm wrapped around her shoulders and the other holding her hand. Throughout the night, she showered kisses on his neck – she was going to be the death of him. His need for her was going stronger with each passing minute. While he was having a good time with his friends, getting to know everyone again, roasting marshmallows and singing along to David as he played the guitar, he was ready to be alone with his Swan.

Thankfully, he wasn't the first of the group to decide they had waited long enough for personal time with their beauty. Graham and Ruby were the first to take a bow; he had picked her up and swung her over his shoulders on their way back to the cabin. No one was surprised by their sudden departure. Emma leaned over to whisper in his ear.

"This happens every time. They can't keep their hands off each other." Her voice was sultry and was filled with lust. Her voice was doing things to him: while he wanted to speak with her tonight – finally move forward in their relationship – he knew if he got her in bed with him, he would want to do more than just talk. There was a sparkle in Emma's eyes that said the same thing.

It surprised him a bit when she was the one who stood up and reached a hand out to him. He immediately took it and stood up. He was about to make their apologies to the group, when Emma reached up for his cheek. Her hand felt like heaven. The simple brush of her fingers against his stubble told him everything he needed to know. She was silently telling him to ignore their friends – they had more important things to discuss.

* * *

EMMA'S POV

Since that morning, Emma had been thinking long and hard about her relationship with Killian. She had loved this man, and she knew she was beginning to love him again. However, it scared her how quick everything was moving. She was still scared he would leave. She didn't think that the feeling would ever go away. She had to believe him she had to trust him. He was right – they needed to live in the here and now, and that was exactly what she was going to do.

When she had kissed him on the bed, her need for him was suddenly amplified. The kiss had just meant to show her he was there, but as always, the kiss turned hungry. She was pissed when she heard Ruby yell for them. For a person who always seemed to need sex with Graham, Ruby sure knew how to cockblock.

The rest of the day flew by The entire day was filled with Killian finding little ways to touch her and keep her in the moment; yet all she could think about was getting him back in the bed. It took all she had to hold back and keep him at an arms distance most of the day. She knew she couldn't trust herself – her hands – around him.

He was glorious to look at though. He had kept in shape from high school. His muscles were defined, but not in a way that made Emma think he spent all his time in the gym. He was perfect. It didn't help that she knew exactly what he was thinking when she had walked out of the house in her little black bikini.

When he finally sat down next to her at the bonfire, she decided she couldn't stay away any longer. She missed his touch, and he looked worried. She apologized for her behavior – wanting to tell him that she had only been acting weird because she couldn't act on her feelings. Yet, he told her to wait.

_I am going to drive him wild – just as he has been doing to me all day_. She smirked. It was just like the night at the movies. She knew exactly how to play. Yes, they did need to talk – she wanted to make sure that their relationship was what she thought – but she also wanted to take things further. She wanted to show him how much she cared about him. So when she whispered in his ear about Ruby and she heard a low growl leave his throat, she knew she had him.

* * *

As they moved into their room Emma began to get nervous. All day she had been thinking about what it would be like to be back in this room with Killian. Now that they were here, her stomach was in knots. It wasn't a question of if she wanted him – she did. She was just nervous to take the next step. What would this mean for them? Where would it leave them?

Killian closed the door and moved to change. He pulled his shirt off and was rustling through his duffle bag when Emma came up behind him. She wrapped her arms around his waist and hugged him tightly.

"To what do I owe this pleasure love?" he said as he turned to face her. She buried her face into his chest, his dark hair tickling her cheeks.

"What are we Killian?" she asked. She had mentioned it to him once before, when they were discussing Africa. He said he was hers and she was his, but there wasn't an explanation after that. Emma was never really into labels until now. She had to know where they stood before she took this step.

He stared quizzically at her. "Are we… oh my god this is going to sound so stupid… are we dating Killian? Are we boyfriend/girlfriend? What are we?" She was right, it did sound stupid, but she had to know. She had only slept with Neal, and it was supposed to be just a one nightstand – look what that ended up. So, she wanted to make sure that whatever was going to happen with Killian was the real thing.

He moved her to the bed, and had her sit on the edge. He knelt before her so that he was eye level with her. "Emma, it isn't stupid at all. Yes, love, we are dating – in fact I can make it cheesy for you – we are going steady." She giggled at his statement. It lightened the mood and made her relax.

"I have considered you my girlfriend since our first date. I hope that is OK with you." Emma nodded in response.

"It's more than OK." She smiled

"What is going on love? Are you sure everything is OK?" he questioned as he moved from the floor to the bed. He turned towards her and took her hands in his.

"I am sorry for everything that has been happening. After this morning, when you kissed me, I wanted more. I needed you; I needed you more than I have ever needed anything else. Then Ruby interrupted. I was on fire – every time you touched me, it was like my whole skin was electrified. So I tried to stay away. I was thinking the entire time about what tonight would be like. Then when you came out from changing, I couldn't stay away any longer. Yet the entire time, I was nervous." He nodded at her admission. She searched his eyes for anything that would give away what he was thinking.

"I understand what you feel Emma, believe me. Kissing you is intoxicating. Being around you sets me ablaze. I just want you to know that no matter what happens with us this weekend, it doesn't change what I feel about you. Emma you enchant me. You ensnare all my senses. I am in complete awe of you love. Everything you do intrigues me. I am called to you on such a deep level; it's something I cannot fight. My need for you is endless." His words struck her. He was always better at saying how he felt, always better at admitting feelings. With each word that passed through his lips, she was falling deeper in love with him.

She lunged at him with a force she didn't realize she had. She was on top of him in a second, kissing him with ferocity that couldn't be matched. His words were overwhelming. She knew in that moment that she truly did love Killian. Yet, she wasn't quite ready to speak the words aloud. Instead, she decided to show him just how much love she carried for him.

She felt him relax underneath of her. His lips began their assault on hers. With every motion, he was deepening the kiss. Her fingers worked their way from his hands to knot into his shirt. He slipped his hands around her waist coming to rest on the small of her back, playing with the hem of her shorts. She suddenly couldn't touch him enough, and she began her exploration of the man beneath her. She could feel the heat radiating off of him. She couldn't stand the layers between them any longer.

She sat up and removed her shirt. She heard his sharp intake of breath as she leaned back down towards him. She was wearing a black lace bra - and she could see his eyes darken with desire as he took in her body. No one had ever looked at her the way Killian was looking at her. She leaned back down and continued to drink him in. Her moans weren't very loud, but they filled the room and made every little touch electric.

Without warning he flipped her over, so that he was between her legs. He moved to kiss her neck, his mouth driving her crazy. It's like they were horny teenagers. His movements against her were making it hard to think, and all she wanted to do was show the man above her just how much he meant to her. Her hands moved from his back, down to his pants. She silently thanked the Gods that it was summer, so neither of them were really wearing much to begin with.

"Bloody Hell love" he moaned into her mouth. His eyes were closed, but passion emitted from his skin. "Are you sure Emma?"

"I've never been more sure of anything else in my life." she pleaded, as she reached into his pants and wrapped her hand around his cock. The sound he made as Emma's hand comes into contact was magical.

He moved along her body after a moment, removing her hand along the way. He focused all his attention on her breasts. He slowly raised her up, unhooking her bra. His hands moved to her now exposed chest. When his hands come in contact with her hardened nipples and began to message them; she couldn't help the moan that escaped her lips. His touch was perfect. He couldn't keep his eyes off of her.

"Oh Gods Killian" she breathed out as she rocked up against him. She needed to feel his length against her; she needed some friction to comfort her growing ache. She needed him closer. She needed to feel him. Killian began his decent again, this time bringing his mouth down upon her nipples. She let out a content sigh when his teeth nipped at her breast. It wasn't a cry for him to stop, but for him to keep going. She already felt like she was flying - each lick, each flick, each suck of his mouth brought her higher.

As he moved onto her other breast, he slowly moved his hands down towards the apex in her thighs. She arched up a bit more - moving her body close to his mouth and his wondering hand. He first removed the scrap of fabric that could be called shorts. Emma wore them to tease him a bit, but she as glad she had them on now - they were much easier to remove than most of her other pants. His breath hitched as he moved his hand towards her core. She knew she was already soaked.

"Already wet for me love?" she moaned at his words. His fingers were skating around the outside of her panties.

"Touch me please Killian." she begged. She needed to feel him; she needed him to love her. She heard a soft chuckle from him before he pulled down her underwear and moved his fingers through her damp curls. In an instant his mouth was back on hers, coaxing more moans from her lips. He had been teasing her clit, knowing he was driving her crazy. Finally, he ran one finger over her nub, and it sent shock waves through her system. He slowly began to circle her clit, adding pressure randomly that made her shudder. She needed more. She needed to feel full.

Like he could hear her thoughts, he leaned down to her ear and in a soft growl asked, "Need more love?" All she could do was hum in response.

"Fuck!" she yelled when he finally pushed a finger inside of her. He stroked her at a lazy pace at first, her pleasure building with each stroke. She was about to cry out that she needed more when he added not one, but two more fingers. She mewed at the fullness she was feeling. His strokes became feverish, building up their pace. He had leaned back a bit, so that he could look her in the eyes. His blue irises gazing intensely at her, watching the ecstasy move across her face. He gave her a wicked smirk as he moved his fingers away.

She had started to protest until he was kissing his way down her body. As he reached her thighs, he pushed her legs open a bit more, allowing him better access to her flesh. He nuzzled his head between her thighs and breathed her in. It was weird to see him smell her, yet it turned her on even more.

"You are intoxicating Swan. Simply intoxicating." he said looking up at her through his thick eyelashes before he set his tongue to work. She had never felt anything like this before. His tongue was circling her clit while his fingers went back to work, stroking her walls. She couldn't help but rock herself against him, feeling his stubble against her thighs - it drove her wild. Her hands came down in his head, her fingers wrapping themselves in his hair, guiding him and keeping him there. She could feel his fingers curl inside of her, and his tongue flick her clit. She was climbing higher and higher.

"I'm so close…. fuck Killian…. please…. don't stop." She was begging him. Each passionate plea brought her closer to her peak. Right as he sucked her, using his whole mouth, she fell.

"Oh Gods Killian" was spilling from her mouth as moans mixed in. He didn't stop his assault though he kept lapping her up. She was spiraling out of control. She knew she was soaked. She arched her back as he finished riding out her orgasm. She was riddled with aftershocks as he moved back up her body, trailing kisses as he went.

"You are beautiful love. Stunning. You taste so good." He said; as he leaned down to kiss her. She could taste herself on his lips - salty but good.

"Your turn Captain." she smirked as she pushed him off and rolled him on his back.

She palmed him with her hand. He was bigger than she thought. His pants were tight around his arousal. She moved her other hand towards the zipper. He groaned as she began to remove his pants. It was a difficult task - she kept getting distracted - but she removed them quickly, freeing his erection.

"Emma…"

"Please Killian." she almost begged. She wanted him to feel the way he made her feel. He nodded and placed his head back down on the bed. She moved so that she straddled his legs around his knees. Running her hands up and down the sides of his body, she got her first real look at the man she was in love with. He always whispered to her that she was beautiful, yet he she was with one of the hottest men she had ever seen in her life. His cock was resting against his stomach, calling to her. She had never done this before.

When she had been with Neal, he had gone down on her; her orgasm with him came too quick and was nothing compared to what she just experienced. When she recovered that night, he immediately took her, there was no love involved, no caring. Tonight though, she was going to show Killian her love for him. She was going to care for him the way he cared for her. She slowly bent down and kissed the area around his cock. While she was going to care for him, she also didn't think anything was wrong with a little teasing.

"Holy Fuck" he hissed out as she continued to get closer to his erection. She was still running her hands up and down his sides, but now she was using her nails. He shivered beneath her and she found herself extremely turned on again. She took him in her hand and started to move. She wanted to go fast, needed to. She wanted to make him bubble with passion the way she did, but she knew she needed to give him everything.

Finally she took him in her mouth. The growl that came from him was intense to say the least. His eyes were shut in passion. She was slowly working his cock; still pumping with one hand while her mouth teased his head. She moved her other hand to cradle his balls, giving them a gentle squeeze.

"Emma, you have to stop." he pleaded. She glanced up at him, popping his cock out of her mouth. The sound made his cock twitch in her hand. "Love, please, I am going to come if you keep doing that." A twinkle was in Emma's eye. While she wanted to make him come like this, she also needed him inside her. Slowly she worked her way up so that she was straddling him. She rubbed her wet center over his cock as she leaned down to whisper in his ear.

"I need you Killian." With her words, he flipped her over, so once again he was above her. "Please Killian, make love to me." His lips found her the instant the words came out of her mouth. While there was still passion in the kiss, it held something much more. The intensity of the kiss, plus the feeling of him throbbing against her almost made her come again.

"Love, I want that too, but unfortunately I am unprepared." he breathed, a bit of regret in his voice.

"It's OK. I have an IUD and you know my history. I haven't been with anyone since Neal. I think we are good. I trust you." she said, sweetly kissing him. She needed this. They needed this.

"Aye love, I have been with no one other than Milah as well. But are you sure." he questioned. He was still above her and she was beginning to get impatient.

"Yes. Killian please, I need you." She said for the last time, moving her body up and meeting his. His groan was all she needed to hear.

He met her kiss and he started to move on top of her. He spread her legs a bit wider, and she moved her hand to his cock. He groaned as she moved it to her soaking entrance. She had never been this wet before. She had never wanted someone this bad before. As he slid into her entrance, he moved himself away from her lip so he could look into her eyes.

He began to move slowly, allowing Emma to get used to having him inside her. He felt amazing. She felt so full, so complete. As his rhythm picked up, she began to meet him thrust for thrust. She wanted more, she wanted him to make her his.

"Faster Killian. Fuck, faster." she pleaded. She glanced down to where they were meeting and the sight she saw. It was the most erotic thing she had ever seen, and it was perfect.

"Fuck love, you are so tight." he cursed. "You feel incredible."

She moaned at his admission. He slid one hand down between them, finding her clit and rubbing small circles around it. She couldn't believe she could feel this way. She cried out, begging for his lips. He lowered himself back down to her, where he met her with a searing kiss. He sped up his pace, Emma moving just slightly so that she could wrap her legs around his ass and press him deeper into her. She came suddenly, the build up intense and quick.

He came with a loud curse and her name on his lips. The look on his face was pure bliss, and Emma was sure that she had the same look on hers. They were both sweaty, but it didn't stop her from pulling him down onto her, hugging him to her chest, while he was still inside her.

They laid in each other's arms for what seemed like eternity. She glanced out the window to watch the moon dance on the water. Killian got up too soon to go wash off. He came back with a washcloth to clean her, peppering her skin with kisses as he did. He climbed back into the bed and wrapped his arms around her, so that they were both facing the large window. His lips were in her hair, planting kisses as he hummed a song.

"That was perfect." she whispered, feeling his arms wrap even tighter around her waist.

"You are perfect love. Thank you." he responded kissing her neck. "Now time for sleep. Goodnight beautiful."

"Goodnight." _I love you_ was what she wanted to say, but decided that was a confession for another night. Tonight, she just wanted to remember the moments they spent in each other's arms.


	14. Chapter 14

KILLIAN'S POV

Waking up in with Emma in his arms was the best feeling in the world. Well, second best feeling. The time spent with her the previous night was the best feeling. He couldn't believe how amazing his Swan could be. She was brilliant, amazing, smart, and sexy, she was everything. He had been worried as he entered the room the night before. She had been acting weird all day since their initial conversation upon arriving at the cabin. He never would have thought it was simply because she was worried about her own actions around him.

He was determined to live in the here and now with her - putting all their past actions and regrets behind them. He wanted a fresh start, a chance to show her that she was truly the most important person in his life. When they arrived back in their room and she held him, he realized that it was also what Emma wanted.

He was surprised by her question though - what were they? He thought he had covered that the night in his office. He belonged to her; she claimed his heart and soul. There would never be anyone else for him. No one compared to her, and no one ever would. He thought he was clear in his declaration. Of course they were dating - he had considered her his girlfriend for the longest time: even when they weren't together, even when he was away. She was his soul mate, the missing piece of him. How could she doubt that? How could she not know what she meant to him?

Killian Jones was in love with Emma Swan. He hadn't spoken those words yet. He was too scared to admit those feelings. She was still skittish around him still worried he may leave. He didn't want to confess his love until they were both confident in their relationship. Then it dawned on him - she wasn't confident because she wasn't sure where they stood, because he hadn't been straightforward in his feelings. Saying she was everything to him wasn't the same as looking her in the eyes and saying _Emma, you are my girlfriend. _He chuckled silently, not wanting to disturb the sleeping beauty in his arms.

He truly was a luck son of a bitch. He had spent the night making love to Emma Swan. She completely bewitched him. He was under her spell. When she had lunged at him after his speech - he was completely at her mercy. He knew he would do anything to please her, do anything for her. Her kisses were soul consuming. He needed her; in the same way she needed him. He didn't want to push her though. Their relationship was in her hands - would always be in her hands. Yes, he would fight for what he wanted, but he didn't want to rush her.

His cock stirred just thinking about her removing her shirt the night before. She was a sight to behold: her lips on his; her hands roaming his body - scratching and marking him; her moans and cries; her sweet taste; her smells; the tightness of her quim; the feeling of her tightening around him - milking him as he thrust into her; her mouth around him; her begs for him to please her, to take her. Everything she did was irresistible. Her body was captivating and called to him.

He hadn't brought condoms with him this weekend, because he didn't expect anything from her. He was content with moving slow - willing to show her that his presence was going to become normality. He didn't want to assume anything about their weekend. In fact, he had planned on sleeping on the second bed from the start. He had even asked David about it before they left - promising her brother to be a complete gentleman and respecting Emma's space. When she said that it was OK, that she needed him either way and she trusted him it was like the heavens opened up.

He stared down at the blonde beauty in his arms. She was facing the window a small part in her lips her face was blissful. A small smile blessed her face. She was truly beautiful. He couldn't believe how lucky he was to be able to call her his. She was in his arms, and he couldn't help thinking that this was where they both belonged. It really was the best way to wake up in the morning - yet he was already dreading the coming Tuesday morning - having to wake up in a bed by himself, without her next to him. They hadn't really slept in each other's arms during the night, yet they found themselves drawn to each other - needing at least one part of their bodies touching: whether it was her feet curled under his legs, his hands caressing her hair, her arm tangled in his.

She snuggled closer to him as the sun began to peak though the window. He hadn't expected to be up so early, yet he couldn't stop himself from watching her sleep. She turned into his embrace, soft kisses being placed through his chest hair. The sensation was both sweet and seductive.

"Good morning love" he whispered, as he moved his hands to lift her chin. He gave her a searing kiss.

"Good morning." she responded sweetly kissing him back. The passion from the previous night spilling into her kiss.

He rolled them over, so that she was on top of him. He couldn't lie; it was by far one of the best views on Earth. They were both already naked - not having the strength, will, or want to put their clothes back on from the night's activities. They needn't worry about anyone coming in or interrupting them anyways. He made sure he locked the door last night.

He could feel the heat radiating off her body. He was already hard for her - his erection a bit painful from wanting her. She was soaked already. She was grinding along his body, riling herself up. His hands explored her body. He ran them down her smooth back, feeling every little indent, every muscle. He cupped her tight ass, giving it a slight slap as he did. She moaned in response - a small quiet moan, but it sent desire pulsing though him. His cock twitched against her.

"Killian, please." she begged him. He had planned on taking it slow again, savoring her, exploring every inch of her body. Making her squirm with pleasure over and over again. He didn't get enough of her last night, so he was going to get his fill this morning. However, when she begged him in her husky voice, he couldn't resist her.

"What do you need darling? What do you want?" he breathed. He had abandoned kissing her lips for favor of the swell of her breasts. Her head was thrown back in a fit of passion when he moved his lips to grab a nipple with his teeth.

"You Killian, I just need you." She gasped as he flicked her nipple and she circled herself on his cock.

He was beginning to lose control. He laid back down so that he could take all of her in. He needed to be inside of her, just as much as she needed him there. She was exquisite; her body was a drug to him. He couldn't get enough. Her moans were all he would ever need to hear. Her body was all he would ever need to survive.

"Take what you need then love. I am yours." he growled

She reached beneath and grabbed his cock. The feeling of her softs hands on him made him curse out: "Fuck Emma, take me."

She slowly moved him to her entrance and lowered herself onto him. He had been over her the previous night, and it was magical, but this didn't compare. To see his love lower herself onto his cock, to feel her expand to fit him in, to watch him disappear within her: it was more, so much more. She stilled on top of him, allowing herself to mold to his presence. She felt marvelous.

Placing her hands on his chest, moving her fingers through his hair, she began to ride. Her movements were slow at first, and small.

Soon intensity took over them both. His hips moved to meet each of her movements. She began to move quickly, rising off of him even more, just to quickly slam down. She swirled her hips with each passing motion. She was driving him insane. He moved one hand from her hips, which had been helping her movements, to her clit. He slowly began to circle her nub; putting pressure on it each time she lowered herself back onto his cock. Her moans filled the room; coupled with his groans of passion. Her skin the perfect shade of pink and her lips still swollen from his kissing.

"Oh Gods… so… close… don't… stop…. fuck Killian." she cried out between cries of pleasure. She was moving even faster now, harder.

"That's it love, come for me." he breathed, sitting up on his elbows, moving his mouth back to her breasts. His hand was still playing with her clit. With one long slide against it, he felt her fall apart beneath him. Her walls clenching him, pulling him towards his own release. He cried out her name and he spilled himself inside her. When he was done, he pulled her back down, so that she rested on his chest.

"That was the best way to wake up." she said, placing another kiss to his chest.

"Aye love, there is no other way I would rather wake up." he smiled down at her.

* * *

EMMA'S POV

Waking up in Killian's arms is the best way to wake up. The morning sex was good too. She smiled to herself as she showered, thinking more than once that she wished he could join her. However, they heard movement in the kitchen a few minutes after they finished ravishing each other earlier, and decided it was best if they were discreet for the rest of the weekend. Ruby was a known cock-block but was also know to embarrass anyone else who had sex beside herself at the cabin. Emma thought back a year to when Regina and Robin snuck off during a day on the lake, and Ruby went to find them. They hadn't locked the door and Ruby discovered them in the throws of passion - they didn't live it down for weeks. Emma wasn't ashamed of what they were doing, but she didn't want the drama that came along with everyone knowing about it.

She finally felt at peace with her relationship with Killian. She knew it was too soon to tell him she loved him - even though she was sure he felt the same. She didn't want to jinx it by telling him though. She also thought it was too clichéd to say it so quickly after sex. Soon though, she promised herself. No more running from love, no more hiding from the truth, she was going to live in the here and now. She was going to seize the day - and if that meant seizing Killian every chance she got, she sure as hell didn't mind that.

Mary Margaret and Ruby were in the kitchen when Emma appeared from the bathroom that was attached to their room. Killian had decided to brave the crowd first and went to shower in the other bathroom down the hall. He was sitting on the couch with Robin and David when she came out. His hair was still damp from his shower and she swore she could smell his scent from where she was standing. She had to shake herself from the dirty thoughts that were starting to invade her head. _I will not think of him naked, I will not think of running my hands through his hair, I will not think about him fucking me in the shower. _Her mantra wasn't working because it was all she could seem to think about.

"Morning Emma! Sleep well?" Mary Margaret questioned with a hint of laughter in her eyes. They knew alright, she could tell by the way Ruby chuckled and David shook his head. Crap, she was in for it now. She knew the morning was going to be filled with questions. No wonder David was sitting a bit farther away from Killian than normal.

"I did actually. You?" Emma responded, hoping to sound in control.

"Just fine." she answered.

"Want some coffee?" Ruby asked, already pouring Emma a cup, since she knew the answer was always yes. "We are just waiting on Regina and Belle, then we are heading into town for brunch." she explained.

"Sounds good." Emma sighed on the inside; she really wasn't looking forward to this. She loved her friends, but she wanted to stay in her little bubble with Killian a bit longer. She wasn't looking forward to the inquisition she was about to go through.

Killian came walking over after Ruby handed her the coffee and stated that she was going to find out what was taking Graham so long. He put his arm around her waist and planted a kiss on the top of her head. She relaxed into his arms. This was where she wanted to be. He calmed her. She knew that in his arms everything would be all right.

"Morning again love." he whispered in her ear, "Have a good shower?"

"Yes, but I missed you." she said quietly. Mary Margaret had moved to sit with David. The living room was getting full now that Belle and Will and made their way down.

"Aye Swan, I missed you too. We will have to rectify that problem later." he winked at her as she turned in his arms to give him a kiss, not minding that everyone was watching. When she was in his arms, everyone else faded away.

"They know don't they." she questioned.

"Aye, but I don't care. All I care about is that you are OK with everything, that we are OK. You are all that matters love." he responded. She smiled at his statement. He was right. Screw her friends. She knew they wouldn't judge her that they just wanted her happy; but she could do without the stares and looks.

"Alright, let's get this show on the road." Regina said, walking down the stairs that led to the other floors.

"We are just waiting on Ruby now." Mary Margaret stated, rolling her eyes a bit. "She went to go find Graham, so I sure it means we still have a few minutes."

They all laughed. It lightened Emma's mood. She didn't know what she was so worried about. They were all so honest with each other, and no one ever judged, so why was she so worried about them knowing her and Killian slept together. Other than David, none of them would have an issue.

* * *

Looking back on her previous statement, Emma knew she was wrong, so so wrong. She knew what she was worried about. She was never one to really give away any information. She was a private person - never really discussing the inner workings of her relationships (if you could call them that) with her friends. She did better by herself. So when they all finally loaded up into the SUV Emma had driven down and backed out of the driveway, and Ruby opened her mouth, she knew what she was worried about.

"Oh My God Emma. Tell us all about it? Was the sex really that good?" she questioned, not even trying to contain her excitement. Emma knew her friends would be happy for her; she just didn't want to air all of her dirty laundry with them.

"Ruby!" Belle scolded.

"What? We all heard I just want to know the dirty details." Ruby announced. _They heard? Oh shit, they heard?_

"Oh Emma, don't worry." came Mary Margaret's voice from the backseat. "When Ruby means we, she means us girls. It was this morning. I always wake up early when I'm here, you know that and I wanted to watch the sunrise. Ruby was making coffee and Belle was reading a book. That's all. No one else heard a thing."

Emma relaxed a bit. She didn't really care that they heard her, but knowing that her brother may have heard embarrassed her a bit.

"So tell us, was it everything you thought it would be?" Regina questioned. It actually surprised her to hear Regina ask. Regina was never really one to push for information.

"So much more." Was all Emma could say. She didn't want to tell them all the horny details, yet she had to admit to them that her passionate night with Killian surpassed any and all expectations she had of sex with him. She hadn't planned on fucking him this weekend. Yes, she had thought of it, but she thought she would have more self-control. They were still new in their relationship, still getting to know each other again; she didn't want to rush into things. She didn't want to ruin anything. She had thought they may get intimate, but she never thought they would go all the way.

"Spill! We know there is more, I can tell by the dreamy look you are getting." Ruby said.

"It was amazing. I was so nervous about this weekend. Just because I don't want to do anything to fuck this relationship up. Henry said it's the first time he has ever really seen me truly happy, and he's right. I am truly happy with Killian. I just don't want to take things too quickly, but then last night he said things, wonderful and sweet things, and I couldn't help myself. He was so sweet and caring. It was intense and as cliché as it sounds, it was out of this world" she confessed.

"I didn't know you could be so loquacious Emma" Belle said from her seat next to Regina.

"I didn't either, but Killian brings that out in me."

"It's good to see you this happy Ems, we only want the best for you. And we promise not to tease you for it either." Ruby promised.

"That's bullshit Ruby! You didn't let me live it down for weeks" cried Regina.

"Well that's because my eyes were blinded from what I saw with you and Robin. This is different." she claimed.

Ruby was right. What Emma was doing with Killian was different than anything else she had done before. He was different.

* * *

Brunch was going well. It wasn't like their traditional brunch routine, and the servers were too slow getting their orders, but they were having a good time. All of them were much more relaxed than earlier in the morning. It helped that Emma was the DD and the rest of the girls were on their fifth mimosa.

"Emma, we are really so happy for you." Belle said smiling at her champagne glass.

"Thanks guys. I just hope that I didn't jinx anything." she said.

"What do you mean?" questioned Mary Margaret.

"I just don't want to run him off. I don't want him to leave; I don't think I could handle it if he left again. He said he is here for good and I believe him, but I am scared of when the other shoe may drop. The last time I was this happy was the day of graduation and look what happened. Then I thought I was getting there when I was pregnant with Henry, and Neal dies. What is something happens?" she admitted.

"That won't happen Emma, but truthfully, even if it did, you will be OK. You just have to live for the moment. Just because something may happen down the road, doesn't mean you shouldn't live your life." Mary Margaret answered.

Emma couldn't respond. She knew it was stupid for her to keep being scared of him leaving. She knew it was out of her control. Yet, she couldn't stop thinking about it. She was so afraid that their happiness could be ruined at any second. She was trying so hard to live in the moment, to live for Killian, but she was scared it was all going to be ripped away.

"Why are you so scared Emma?" Regina questioned.

"Because I love him." she responded. It was the first time she said it aloud. It felt good to actually say it, but scared her at the same time.

"Of course you do Emma, we all know that. This morning only cemented that idea in our minds." Ruby winked at her.

"Ems, you can't let this fear control your life. You have to live for love. Stop being scared that something might happen. If you don't, you won't really be happy, you won't really be living. You both deserve this so just let it happen. Let go." Mary Margaret added.

* * *

KILLIAN'S POV

He hated showering that morning. He wanted to smell like his Swan for the rest of the day. Yet, he here was, washing her away. He wished she was with him; it made him hard just thinking about her showering right down the hall. He imagined her soaping up her body with her apple scented body wash. He could imagine her running her hands over her body, which only made it hard for him not to imagine it was he who was doing it. He could almost smell her shampoo, which was also apple scented, but had mixes of cinnamon in it. She called to him even when she was in another room.

He couldn't believe that he needed her again, and so quickly. It had only been an hour or so since they decided they needed to leave the confines of their bedroom. He knew he couldn't walk out of the room with a hard-on, especially since Ruby and Mary Margaret were sitting in the kitchen when he went in. He took himself in his hand and brought himself to climax - thoughts of him and Emma in the shower together, him pushing her against the wall and fucking her while she wrapped her long legs around him.

* * *

She looked nervous when she emerged from their room, gorgeous, yet nervous. _Shit, is she upset about what we did? Does she regret it? Fuck, what have I done? _He thought to himself. How could he screw this up? He should have waited. They should have waited. He should have told her that they didn't need to go further.

Finally Ruby moved away from her and Mary Margaret moved over to the couch, so he took the opportunity to move to her. He wrapped his arms around her center, glad that she was in his arms again. Life felt complete when she was there. Normally, he wouldn't have shown this much affection in front of their friends, but fuck it, he couldn't keep his hands off of her. Their bodies called to each other now. He needed to be around her.

"Morning again love." he whispered in her ear, "had a good shower?" She smelled heavenly, just like he imagined. He tried hard to control his body when the scent invaded his nose. He couldn't afford to get hard in the kitchen with their friends watching.

"Yes, but I missed you." she said quietly. He smiled at her response. She missed him! Gods, did she know how she called to him, how much he needed her? Did she not realize that he never wanted to leave her side? Did she also wish that he had joined her in the shower?

"Aye Swan, I missed you too. We will have to rectify that problem later." Oh yes, they would certainly fix the issue later. He thanked the Gods that their room had its own bathroom - which they would be surely sharing later on that evening. He was already planning it.

"They know don't they." she questioned, looking a bit concerned. It didn't surprise him though. Emma was always a silent one. She never really announced her adventures or problems. She preferred the private life. He knew she was worried about all the girls discussing their passionate activities they had. He could tell they knew when he sat down next to David that morning, who eyed him suspiciously. He knew David wasn't truly upset with him, just protective of his sister.

"Aye, but I don't care. All I care about is that you are OK with everything, that we are OK. You are all that matters love." he responded. It was nothing but the truth. While yes, he wanted his friends to be happy for them; he also decided that their opinions didn't matter. The only person that did was her.

* * *

While the women brunched, the men decided they would spend the morning fishing. Killian was quite thankful that they had chosen to fish. It meant peace and quiet. He knew he wouldn't be getting the same line of questions from his mates that Emma would be receiving from the girls. He was quite thankful that he wouldn't have to listen to any questioning about his amazing night with Emma. He especially didn't think that he could tell David exactly what happened.

"So mate, after last night, where does it leave you an Emma?" Will finally spoke an hour after casting their lines. They hadn't caught anything yet, but they sat still around the lake. He heard David grumble near him.

"Oi, I don't want to talk about it mate. What happened between Emma and me is personal and I don't wish to discuss it. But at least I can say that we are officially together. I have never been happier than I am right now." He said in reply.

"Do you mean it?" he heard David whisper.

Killian turned towards the man who once was his best friend. He saw in the real question in his eyes. David was worried for his sister. Worried that she may fall for a man who may leave, even though he promised to stay.

"Aye, nothing but the Gods will ever take me from Emma. She is my home."

* * *

He couldn't wait for his Swan to be home. The girls had finished brunch – they were informed by a text to Will from Belle saying they were now headed to the nearby outlet mall to do some shopping. He had been away from her for far too long. When the ladies left around ten to eat, he had hoped they would be back by noon. Yet, noon soon came and went and it looked like the ladies wouldn't be back until dinner.

When the girls finally arrived home around five, he was thankful to see her. She had walked in carrying quite a few bags and looked so happy to be with her friends. Her worries from earlier had dissolved from her face.

Each woman separated off from the group as they found their partners in the living room. Ruby immediately went and sat on Graham's lap as he relaxed on the recliner, showing him the large Victoria Secret bag she was carrying with her. Belle headed towards Will who was sitting next to the fireplace, the only bag she was carrying was from Barnes and Noble. Killian was chuckling to himself at how predictable his friends were even after all these years.

Mary Margaret and David sat together on the couch – gushing over something hidden inside a plain white bag. Regina and Robin were seated on the love seat looking at the new outfits she had purchased.

Killian though wasn't paying that much attention to the conversations happening around him; he only had eyes for Emma. She sauntered over to his seat in the kitchen. He had been preparing a snack when she came in. She moved effortlessly into his arms, while he planted a kiss to her forehead. That move was slowly becoming one of his favorite things to do.

"Have a good day love?" he smiled down at her as she nodded.

"It was pretty good, I missed you though." She said as she sat down next to him, stealing some of his chips as she did. She winked at him as she popped one into her mouth.

"Aye. I've missed you too." He smiled.

The rest of the evening was spent with his Swan and his friends. They decided to do Emma and David mom's famous lasagna and watched some of their favorite movies from high school. It felt good to just be able to relax with his friends. Most importantly it gave him plenty of opportunity to wrap his love in his arms.

* * *

EMMA'S POV

Emma's fantasy of the morning was finally becoming a reality. She had spent most of the morning in a haze – constantly thinking about Killian, naked, on top of her, claiming her. It was around one in the morning by the time they finally moved from their spot in the living room. Mary Margaret and David had gone to bed a couple hours prior, followed closely by Regina and Robin. She knew something was up with Mary Margaret but she couldn't place her finger on it. Will and Belle said their goodnights a few moments before Ruby couldn't control her urges for Graham. Emma silently thanked the Gods, because it was getting pretty hard for her to control herself too.

While lounging on the couch in Killian's arms, Emma had a hard time keeping her hands from wondering. She had had him twice, and it wasn't enough. She still had more body to explore – still needed more of him. They had been lying sideways along the couch, so they both could still watch the movie at their angle. She could feel him growing hard behind her, and the feeling was stimulating. She writhed against him. Teasing him, taunting him.

Now that they were finally alone, she needed to have him.

"Shower with me." He said, coming up behind her while she was taking off her makeup at the dresser. He leaned down and kissed her neck – sucking the skin and making her moan.

"Yes" she replied. He twirled her around in his arms and picked her up. Her legs immediately wrapped around his waist, pulling their bodies closer together. He walked them into the bathroom, stripping off their clothes as they went.

Once in the bathroom, he walked them straight into the shower and turned on the water. Emma let out a yelp as the cold water met her almost naked form, but all too soon the water became warm and welcoming. She was eager to get closer to him. She climbed back down him, needing to get her pants off. He had stripped them of their shirts and her bra, yet their pants were still captured.

As they both started to remove the rest of their clothing, their lips stayed in constant contact with one another. Emma kissed all over his chest, nuzzling his chest hair and playfully biting his nipples. His lips stayed on her head, moaning at each and every touch of her on his skin. Finally their clothes were completely removed and they lunged at each other.

Lips crashed in a feverish fight. She needed him to breathe. She couldn't get enough from him. He tugged at her bottom lip with his teeth as his hands roamed her body. While one hand found her clit, the other reached around to grab her perfect ass. Her hands were leaving scratches down his back.

His fingers worked her into a frenzy. He inserted two fingers into her tight core, his thumb making light circles on her clit. He could feel her tightening walls with each trust and curl of his fingers. She whimpered beneath his kisses. She was in heaven. His ministrations were driving her wild.

"Oh Gods… yes…. Please…. Don't stop." She moaned.

"Let go baby, let me feel you." He whispered on her lips, adding a third finger to the mix.

Emma came with a hard shudder. She didn't think she could hold herself up if it wasn't for his strong arms wrapping around her as her orgasm rippled through her.

"Take me Killian." She pleaded as she was coming down from her high. The water still spraying down on their bodies.

He lifted her like she weighed nothing. One arm supported her under her ass; the other palmed the wall that he was now pushing her against. He slid into her with ease, filling her in the way she was needing. She heard him curse out a "shit" as he was sliding into her. He fit perfectly inside her. His thrusts quickened, moving perfectly inside of her.

Her lips found his neck and ear – kissing and biting them with each trust. She begged him to take her faster and deeper. She couldn't get enough of him. She was getting close again, the feeling building up in her belly, radiating outward at an exponential rate.

"Emma" he growled out, forcing her to release his ear and look at him. "Please love, I want to watch you as you come. You are breath taking when you come. You sweet quim squeezing me in its need for me."

"Please Killian, fuck me faster, I need you." She begged and he was all too happy to oblige. His tempo quickened. She was thankful for the water running down her back, allowing them a bit more movement that would normally have been possible.

All too soon, she was falling again. She could feel herself tighten around him. His cock pulsing within her. She cried out his name was her high reached its peak. "Fuck Killian, Yes!"

He soon followed, crying out her name as he emptied himself inside of her. They leaned against each other, but still propped against the wall of the shower. The water was starting to cool down, calming their bodies from their intense scene. Both were out of breath, yet Emma found some strength to keep kissing him.

He pulled himself back from her, pulling out of her slowly, making her shiver as he did. He grabbed two large towels from the rack near the shower. He wrapped her in the towel, than in his embrace. She was content to stay there forever. It didn't matter that the room was suddenly colder than before, she was happy as long as she was in his arms.

"Come love, let's go to bed." He suggested, pulling her out to their room. She had placed all her bags from shopping there when they first came in. She began to move them to the floor as Killian acquired them underwear. Normally Emma slept in a t-shirt and shorts, yet when she was with Killian, she didn't want the layers between them, opting for just a pair of panties. She wasn't worried about anyone walking in or finding her like this here, so she allowed herself to be free.

"Will you show me what you purchased today love?" he questioned.

"No, it's a surprise. Maybe you will get to see tomorrow." She said with a twinkle in her eye. She had followed Ruby's lead earlier in the day and spent a bit more money at Victoria's Secret than any sane woman should have, but she never had a use for fancy lingerie before this weekend, and after seeing Killian's eyes darken with desire after their first encounter, she knew she wanted to make him insane again.

She climbed into bed and situated herself so that she could watch the moon on the water. Killian climbed in behind her and pulled her close. They hadn't really washed themselves in the shower, so his traditional scent wasn't there, yet he smelled wonderful. She turned in his arms to plant a kiss to his lips. "Goodnight" she added.

"Goodnight love." He said, pressing a kiss to her forehead. She turned back around and settled in, falling to sleep rather quickly. Just as she started to fall she thought she heard him whisper, "I love you." But she wasn't sure if it was him or just a dream.


	15. Chapter 15

EMMA'S POV

"Five more minutes" she grumbled. Someone - she suspected Killian - was lightly shaking her awake. She didn't want to get up. She had never been a morning person. She enjoyed sleep too much! Hell, in college she purposely organized her schedule four years in advance so she would never have to take a course earlier than ten AM. It worked until her organic chemistry class was rescheduled for seven AM. She almost flunked that class simply because it was too early.

"Swan, love, its time to wake up and head home. I am sure Henry misses you. Besides, we want to get on the road early so we miss the traffic." he said. He made sense - DC traffic was notorious for being shit no matter when you drive, but if you were in the area around noon, you didn't seem to have a problem. She was ready to see Henry, but she didn't want to leave their bubble.

She huffed at his statement. It wasn't a huff of hatred or anger, just one that said she got it but she wasn't happy about leaving her cocoon. He giggled at her response and pressed a light kiss to her cheek.

She removed herself from his arms, beginning to get up. She was deliciously sore from their previous activities. It wasn't annoying though; it was a feeling of content and happiness. She sat on the edge of the bed and turned around to face him. His hair was sticking up in random places and his eyes, while bright, were still holding the remnants of his sleep. He looked too sexy for his own good. It was a bit annoying how good he always looked, but then again, he was all hers.

"Enjoying the view love?" he questioned with a laugh on his voice.

She rolled her eyes at him. He knew exactly what he was doing to her. There was now darkness in his eyes, as he looked at her bareback.

"We gotta get up Jones.," she scolded.

He reached over and pulled her back down to him. She loved being next to him. His arms wrapped around her, pulling her flush against his skin. He was tickling her as her sprinkled kisses along her neck and shoulders. He giggled with pure joy at the playfulness. She had seen so many different sides to Killian this weekend: each side, sweeter and kinder than the last. She couldn't believe how happy she was in that moment.

"How about one last ride before we go?" he questioned, pulling her on top of him. He was already hard, his erection pushing against her pelvis.

"I think that can be arranged" she winked at him, grinding into him. The mood in the room shifted so quickly, from flirty and playful, to sensuous. His hands roamed over her body, his lips sucking her neck. She moaned with pleasure as he moved one hand around her ass to play with her entrance.

"Fuck Emma, you're soaked already." he hissed. She couldn't help it; whenever she was around him she was turned on. It didn't help that when she looked at him earlier, she had this thought in her mind about needing him one last time before they left for the week. It would be a while before they came back here, and she wanted to leave on a high note. Plus, he was naked beneath the sheets that were draped low across his hips.

She continued to grind against him, moving ever so slightly so that she was able to slide over his cock. The movement felt so good, and sent waves of pleasure rushing through her. She knew she wouldn't be able to keep it up much longer. For one, she felt like she was on fire, her need for him to be in her too great. Second, she knew they didn't have much time. She was sure there were already some people in the kitchen, but she didn't care. All she knew is she needed to fuck him.

"Killian, take me already. I can't wait anymore." she pleaded. Her voice was husky. She liked morning sex a lot better than evening sex. Maybe it was because it was a great way to start the day, or maybe it was because she felt sexier in the morning.

"Sit up love." He told her. _Hmmm… demanding Killian, I like this._ She thought to herself. He moved out from underneath her. He kissed her body as he moved to come around her. His hands played with her breasts and he trailed kisses down her back. His lips left her shivering. "On your hands and knees love."

She bent over for him. Never had she had sex like this. Hell, she had never had sex the way she had been having it the past forty-eight hours. With Neal, it was simple. With Killian, well, it was everything. No matter what was happening, whether he was fucking her hard or making love to her, it was anything but simple. She could feel his emotions running through his veins. She could feel the depth of his feelings for her.

He leaned against her back, pressing kisses against her, as his fingers moved down to play with her clit. She was dripping with need for him. His fingers playing their game against her nub were driving her crazy. She pushed her hips back, against his waiting cock. She felt it twitch when it came in contact with her wetness. She heard him moan, a deep sound, one that sent a buzz rushing through her system.

She whimpered as he took her. It was quick, his cock slipping into her easily. It felt so good, so right to be wrapped around him again, and so fast. She pushed back again, wriggling her hips against him. She could feel him trying to keep control.

"Please Killian, fuck me already." she said, turning her head slightly to see him. His eyes were dark with passion. He was sweating a bit. His hair was now even messier. Gods did he look good. He moved his hands to her hips and started to move. She became brazen, needing more, needing her release.

She took one hand off the bed, and moved it to her slit. She could feel him moving in and out of her, it was the sexiest thing she had ever felt. She moaned, a bit too loudly, as she felt them. She moved her hand from her slit up to her hard clit. She started rubbing small circles around her nub, keeping only light pressure on it. While she wanted to come, to shatter around him, she also wanted the moment to last.

"Fuck Emma… keep doing that love… you feel so good…. Fuck baby" he panted. He was moving so fast now, needing to hit her deeper and harder. The feeling was mutual, she needing him to fill her completely to full take her.

He moved so that he was leaning over her again, moving one of his hands to join hers on her clit. She was quite thankful for the help, she wasn't sure she could come while she rested most of her body on one hand. All too soon she was coming and coming hard. His fingers moving up and down in such quick succession. She clenched around him, pulling him with her. She had collapsed a bit into the bed, yet she still thrust back to meet him as he came with her name on his lips.

She felt pure and utter bliss as he pulled out of her, and moved her body down, so that they were in the same position they had started this morning. He pressed a kiss to her hair and sighed.

* * *

They had showered and dressed quickly their activities had made them a bit later for morning breakfast. Mary Margaret had decided that they would all have breakfast together before they headed back to wrap up the weekend. Emma was sure she was going to go all out. She loved Mary Margaret but did she always have to make a feast for each meal?

Thankfully, they weren't the only couple that was later for breakfast. In fact, all of them were late. It seemed no one wanted to leave the cabin and head back to reality. She didn't blame them one bit. She really didn't want to leave. The past three days had been heaven. She didn't know how she would be able to function without having Killian near. _Fuck me._ She thought. What was she thinking? She had never been that type of girl. She was strong and independent. She didn't need a man to make her happy. She was her own knight in shining armor. So why did she have this feeling of dread at thinking she wouldn't be spending the night with him? Why did she feel that life wasn't complete if he wasn't near? What was happening to her?

She knew she loved him, but this was something more. The feelings she was dealing with were more intense than she had ever felt before.

She took in her surroundings. No one was even in the kitchen or living room. She could hear footsteps upstairs, as her friends moved around the cabin, preparing to leave. Killian had packed their bags this morning while she was showering. She had made sure her bag from Victoria's Secret was hidden from him, she still wanted to surprise him with the outfit she got later on. He was walking back inside from loading the car up as she retrieved her coffee. Even though there was no breakfast waiting, the coffee machine was still on and the coffee was warm. Thank Gods Mary Margaret remember to set the alarm on it.

Killian came and wrapped him arms around her. She could get used to this. It was such a wonderful way to start the day. He sighed as she leaned her head back against his chest. Everything felt so right. Everything was perfect. She never wanted to leave.

"Did you have a good weekend love?" He questioned. His fingers were rubbing small circles into her hips. He gingerly kissed her neck.

"Mhmm" she said. It wasn't a real response, but she was too comfortable and content to say anything else. He laughed at her response.

"I don't want to leave." She confessed, turning in his arms so she could look at him. "I have had such a good weekend, and I have had the best time with you. I wish we didn't have to leave. I really don't know how I will survive being away from you tonight."

"Aye, love. It will be difficult for me to do as well. You have become something of a lifeline for me." he said, leaning down to kiss her. She swooned at his words. He had become the same thing for her. It scared her how fast her feelings for him developed and were rekindled.

"Killian, before we go back, I want you to know something." She whispered. She needed to tell him she loved him, before their bubble was burst. She wanted him to know just how much this weekend meant to her, and just how much he meant. He had completely changed her; she hadn't realized how much she needed him back in her life. She hadn't realized how empty her life had been without him. Yes, she had Henry and she loved him unconditionally, but there was this emptiness that had always seemed to follow her.

"What is it love? Is everything OK?" he pondered looking into her eyes.

"Everything is fine, I just want you to know…" she took a deep breath. She didn't know why she was so scared to tell him her true feelings; she wasn't sure why she was hesitating. He looked at her like she was his entire world. She knew he felt the same way; he had to after the past two nights. Maybe it was because she was finally going to be living in the here and now. This was going to be the first time she actually said those three little words to someone other than her family and Henry. When she spoke those words to them, yes they had meaning, but nothing as deep as they felt right now. She looked him and he nodded, silently telling her it would all be OK, whatever she had to say, it would be OK. "… I love you."

* * *

KILLIAN'S POV

"… I love you." she whispered. He almost didn't hear the words. She was nervous; he could tell. Her eyes told him that she was scared, that she was worried about something. Was this really what she was worried about? Telling him she loved him: did that really scare her?

When the words left her mouth, it was like he was hit with a ton of bricks. He never thought she would be the first to say those words. Hearing them leave her lips was music to his ears. He had never heard anything more important, more life changing, more beautiful. A smile crossed his face; he couldn't help it. She, his lovely, brilliant, miraculous, beautiful Swan just told him she loved him. He had been waiting years to hear those three words. He never expected to be so emotional over hearing them.

It was like everything suddenly made sense. Everything seemed clearer, brighter, and more magical. It was like he was waking up from a dream.

He hadn't taken his eyes off of her. She was searching his face for some sort of hint as to what he was feeling. Yes, he loved her. He loved her with entire being, but those words _I love you_ wouldn't cover what he truly felt for her. He didn't think anything would ever be able to truly encompass his feelings for her. She was his sun, his moon, his universe - and even those were not enough to describe how much she meant to him.

"I love you too Swan. I have always loved you. I will always love you." He said, pulling her closer to him. He reached up to cup her chin in his hand, pulling it so that he could claim her lips in his. His Emma just made him the happiest man on the planet. He felt a tear running down her cheek as he passionately kissed her. This time though, the passion was different. It was unfathomable how much he needed her.

"My love, why are you crying?" he questioned as he pulled back. Killian hated to see her upset, and he was now confused as to why she was crying? He had just reciprocated her feelings. Why was she upset?

"I'm just so happy." She sighed. He could then see in her eyes that she wasn't upset, just overwhelmed and happy.

"Me too love, you will never know how happy you make me. Emma Swan, I love you." he proclaimed, pulling her in for another kiss.

He wasn't sure how long he kissed her. All he knew was that he could spend the rest of his life kissing her and it would never be enough. He would never get his fill of her. He would never get enough of her.

Someone cleared their throat behind them. Emma giggled as she pulled away, only to hide in the crook of his neck. Regina and Robin were standing at the bottom of the stairs. Robin had a shit-eating grin, while Regina just looked indifferent.

"Sorry mates." He said, as he moved to pull Emma back into their room. The rest of the party wasn't downstairs yet, so he had a few minutes. He grinned at Robin, who shot him a knowing look.

"Everyone else is on their way down. Be quick you too." He teased.

"Fuck off Locksley!" Killian growled as he shut the door behind them.

Once he turned around she pounced on him. Her lips were on his, devouring him. It was if she couldn't get enough. He moaned into her embrace. His tongue slipped inside her mouth and messaged hers. He needed to have her, but he knew he didn't have the time to properly show her everything he wanted to. Fuck, she just said she loved him, and he needed to show her just how much he loved her back.

"Gods Emma, I love you so much. But we need to stop." He said, pulling her back from him. He looked into her emerald eyes. She was disappointed. He was too. "We don't have long, and what I have planned for you, will take longer than a few minutes."

"I love you too Killian." She said, reaching up to caress his cheek. "I just wish we didn't have to leave here, that we had more time together."

"Aye, love. Come, I have something to show you." He said, pulling her back out the door to their waiting friends.

* * *

Regina and Robin decided to take the SUV back to their house, brining Will and Belle with them. Emma and Killian took the car the couple brought up, so they could go and get their kids on their way home. Killian was quite thankful that Regina and Robin switched vehicles. He wanted, no he needed, more time with Emma alone, and riding back to town with Will and Belle would have been torture for him. He was also thankful that she was driving. It gave him ample opportunity to look at her.

Her beauty stopped him in his tracks. He loved that she never really understood just how striking she was. Every little movement she made was like an arrow to his heart. She was breath taking. They had started the ride back in silence, just listening to each other breathe. Too soon, Emma turned on the radio and began to sing along.

Their confession changed her. It was weird, but she seemed more confident, more cheerful, it was like she was suddenly filled with hope. She was singing along to one of her favorite songs. He smiled at her. It was a song they used to listen to together when they were in high school. In fact, it was the song they shared one of their first dances to. He always thought she sang like and angel.

When they were about twenty minutes form her parents' house, he asked her to pull over.

"Love, could you let me drive the rest of the way?" he asked. She looked at him quizzically.

"Why? Don't like my driving Captain?" she questioned.

"No love, it's not that at all. I love it when you drive. Gives me plenty of time to look at you." she blushed at his statement. He loved how the color filled her cheeks. "I just wanted to show you something, a surprise, and I don't want to ruin it by asking you to drive."

She smiled as she pulled into a McDonalds. She glanced over at him, she had never seemed happier to him. Her smile filled her face, it made her look younger and brighter.

* * *

HENRY'S POV

Henry loved spending time with his grandparents, but this weekend was even more special to him. Finally, his mom was getting the chance to be truly happy. Finally, she was going to give love a chance. For years he had wondered if his mom would ever find love, would ever be truly happy. He used to think it was his fault, if he hadn't been born then she would have had the opportunity for love. His aunt Regina told him it wasn't his fault.

When she explained that his mom had got her heart broken by a guy she knew in high school, he felt bad for his mom. She was always so loving and caring, she didn't deserve to be hurt that way. He wondered at first if that guy was his father. His mom never really talked about his father, only saying that he died before he was even born. He was conceived right after high school; his mom telling him how even though she was young and her being with the guy was a mistake, he surely wasn't. So at first, he did think the guy who left her was his father, but Robin made it quite clear that his father was not the man who broke his mom's heart.

When Henry met his mom at the hospital a couple weeks ago, she was talking to a guy, someone she called Killian. He could tell that his mom was uncomfortable with him, and it made him worried. His mom was normally calm, always in control; yet she looked different, sad. When she finally told him the entire story about who he was and what he was doing here, he understood her sadness that day.

He may be young, but he always knows when his mom is happy or sad. Just like she could always tell when someone was lying, he was always able to tell how she was feeling, even if she couldn't see it herself. While his mom was sad this man was back, it was clear that there was a sense of happiness too.

Over the next few weeks, his mom and Killian went out a lot, she finally seemed really happy. He didn't want anything to get in-between them.

He found Lily in the living room of his grandparent's house - curled up with a book in front of the large bay window. He was annoyed a bit, that was his spot, but he was glad she was there. He needed to talk to her. He had to talk to her now, before his mom and Killian came to pick them up in a few hours.

"Hey Lily." he said.

"Hey Henry, what's up?" she questioned.

"Listen, I want to talk to you about my mom and your dad." he said with a smile. Henry knew Lily was actually Killian's sister, but she had told him yesterday while they were outside at the pool. She said she had never told anyone that before. She said while she knew Killian wasn't really her father, he was more of a father to her than anyone else she knew. She wanted to be able to call him dad, to talk to him like her dad; but she didn't want to make him uncomfortable. Henry told her that she should talk to him and tell him how she was feeling.

"Sure!" She exclaimed. He learned that Lily loved his mom, especially since she saved her and was the one his brother hid pictures of in the drawer on his nightstand. She had never told him she knew about the pictures and always acted dumb when he would tell her stories of his childhood. She knew Emma was his one true love - as she put it.

"I want us to make sure that they stay together. My mom tends to run away from people when thing get tough. She says she always works best by herself. But, I don't want her to run from Killian. I really like him, and I think my mom loves him." he said.

"My dad loves her too! He hasn't said it, but I can tell. I want them to be together too!" she said.

"OK, then we need a plan to keep them together. We need to work together to make sure they stay together." he said.

"OK. I really want this to work Henry! I want us to be a family!" She confessed.

"Me too! Mom is really happy with your dad, and I really like him too! I don't want them to be apart. But, I think we should have a code name. Something that we can say to each other, and know that it's about them, without them knowing." he added.

"Great idea! What do you have in mind?" she questioned.

"Well, when I was younger, I had a plan find my mom love. I called it Operation Cygnus." he said.

"That's perfect Henry! Operation Cygnus is now good to go!" she said.

"Lily, Henry, its time for lunch." he heard his grandma announce behind him. He whipped his head around to see her smiling at them. "By the way, if you need any help in your secret mission, let me know." she winked.

* * *

KILLIAN'S POV

Once they had traded spots, he pulled them back out onto the main road and continued till they passed the high school. She glanced over at him suspiciously. He was giving nothing away. It was something he had learned while in London - he drove a hard bargain with his work associates and he never showed any emotion when he wanted to. It gave him a thought: he would need to play poker with the guys again soon and take Scarlet for all his money.

They continued along the old route until they pulled up to the house that Killian now owned. He was thankful he worked his ass of the past ten years, it allowed him to amass a pretty fortune, which allowed him to pay for the house in cash - thus allowing it to become his that much sooner. Normally, he was told, it could take weeks for a purchase to go through: but Smee and his lawyers somehow got it purchased within ten days. This was the house he used to dream about. He pulled into the driveway.

The house had been one he had seen only a few times before. It was off the main road, and you could only see if from the water. He remembered the first time he saw it from the water - it looked Colonial yet had touches of Victorian style homes - yet he could tell it was modern. It had its own private dock, perfect size for his boat. It was white with red shutters and a sunroom in the back. He had dreamed since that day about owning that house one day. He knew it was a large dream considering what his life had been like, but it was a dream he was determined to make come true.

Emma's eyes grew in size as he pulled up to the house. The drive way was long, which made Killian smile. He hoped one day they could be snowed in here - using the excuse that their drive way was so long and they had to get someone to plow it, so they could spend the day in each other's arms. She was taking in the surrounding. It was only one, so the sun was almost directly above them, allowing the sun to hit every feature of the house.

"Killian, what are we doing here?" She questioned as they got out of the car. He smiled at her, pulling her close to him after he moved around the car.

"Well love, this is my new home." he said. Looking down at her to gage her reaction.

Her mouth fell open. He could see the awe in her eyes. Yet, he wasn't sure exactly what she was thinking. Normally her eyes would give her away, but he couldn't find his answer in them.

"Do you like it?" he questioned.

* * *

EMMA'S POV

As they drove up a long drive, Emma's mind was racing. She knew exactly where she was. The Camelots owned the house that was up this drive way. They were friends of her parents. She had met Merlin and Nimue when she was younger, but she never got to come to their home until they arrived here when she was sixteen. They had Christmas parties here every year - her parents made her attend every winter. They were boring parties with boring old people, yet she loved the house.

The house came into view in front of her. It was gorgeous. It was a white Colonial home with some Victorian touches, like the large front porch. The spacing of the windows was perfect. There was a large balcony on the second floor. Each side had additional rooms attached, both with a large chimney. She knew there were also large bay windows at the back of the house. She loved the windows that faced the water. She also loved the secondary house near the pool - which was where she and David would hide out with Mary Margaret and some of the other "rich" kids from school until the party was over. She hated it; it was one less night they could spend with their friends.

She used to dream that she would own this house one day. It was built for her, or she used to think. However she didn't have 1.3 million dollars to spend on a house - not yet at least. Give it a couple of years in her new position as attending and she would. But she knew she would never get to buy this place. Merlin had stated time and time again - he would never leave this house. He built it for his wife, and they would live there forever. She knew he wasn't lying - they looked immortal. She saw him a couple months ago at a hospital function, and he looked just as he did when she first met him.

"Killian, what are we doing here?" She questioned as they got out of the car. He smiled at her, pulling her close to him after he moved around the car. She was still staring at the house. She loved the navy blue door and the red windowpanes. She still didn't understand what they were doing here? Did he know Merlin?

"Well love, this is my new home." he said. Her mouth dropped at the statement. He owned the Camelot house? How the fuck was that possible? Did he know she loved the house? When did he buy a house? The questions were racing through Emma's mind, as she continued to stare at her dream house. The biggest question was: did he buy this for her?

She never told anyone about this house. Not even David knew her love for the architecture and design of the house. She used to drive here sometimes, when she knew the owners were out of town, and just sit in her car and stare at it. She loved the way it looked in the winter - with holiday decorations filling the windows.

"Do you like it?" he questioned. She turned to look at him. His eyes were searching hers. He had a look of pure joy on his face. It was close to the same look he had on his face when she told him she loved him.

"How?" she whispered. She couldn't find the words.

"What do you mean love?" he asked, cocking his head to the side in question.

"How?" was all she could say.

"Well love, when I told you I was staying I meant it. I asked Lily first, to make sure the move was OK with her, and she of course said yes. She then said she wanted a big house. I knew I wanted that too. So I started looking with Graham after our first date. I knew I wanted to stay in the area, to be close to you and to the school. When Graham handed me a stack of papers, and my eyes fell on this one, I knew I had to have it. I used to stare at this house from the river when I would take the boat out. I have always wanted to live here. He told me it had only been on the market one day, so I jumped at it. I offered quite a lot more for it than the owner was asking, so the deal went through quite quickly." he explained. She still had a look of confusion upon her face.

"Really? You used to dream about this house?" she asked.

Killian nodded in response. She moved forward towards the house, She was surely in a dream. He bought the house she used to love, the house she one day pictured herself living in. And all along, it seems he had the same dream.

"Did you know?" she pondered. Looking back at him.

"Know what love?" he asked. She turned and looked back at the house.

"Did you know that I have dreamed about living in this house since I was sixteen?" she said. Turning back around to look at him. He looked confused he cocked his head again. It was kinda cute, but she had to force that out of her mind. She needed to know if he bought this house for her. "I knew the Camelots and this was where we used to come for the Christmas parties I hated. I had always wanted to live here. Did you know?"

"No, love." he replied. "But, I have to say, it is a pleasant surprise. So I am guessing that this means you love it?"

"Of course I love it Killian. Lily will love living here." she said in a small voice. So he didn't buy the house for her; or he at least didn't know she had always wanted to live here. But now, she was too afraid to ask if he bought it for her - worried about what his answer may be.

"I am sure she will love, but I am hoping she isn't the only one who will enjoy living here." he said, moving in closer to her. She had bowed her head with her last statement, but she could hear the grass move beneath him. She looked up and he was right in front of her. "Love, I bought this house because I envision a life here, a life with you, Henry and Lily. I bought this house because it is where I want to have a family, and I want that family to include you."

She was speechless. Just this morning she was declaring her love for him, and now he was saying he had already bought a house - for them? What was he saying? She turned a bit back to the house. She tried to see herself here with him, with their kids, with a future. Was this all going too fast? It all seemed like too much, too quick.

She turned back to the man she loved.

"Love, I wanted to ask if you and Henry would move in with us?"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know you all hate when I leave stories like this, but it just felt right to end the chapter here. I hope you enjoyed it. Also, I don't know shit about real estate in the US - having only rented places there, but I do know that if you have money, you can always get what you want. So if the timeline for buying the house seems far-fetched, I really don't care :). Also, this was my first time writing for Henry. I hope you enjoyed reading a little something from his perspective.


	16. Chapter 16

EMMA'S POV

Did that man really just ask her to move in with him? Was he crazy? They'd only been reunited for a month. They had just proclaimed their love this morning. Did he really think that they were ready to move in with each other? Was she ready for this? Was Henry? Wasn't this all too fast?

Emma was speechless at his declaration. It surprised her.

"Come." He said, grabbing her hand and pulling her towards the house. She hadn't answered his question, yet he had a look of pure joy on his face. It reminded her of him when they first met. His boyish grin was firmly planted on his face.

He pulled her inside the navy door, coming to a stop in the giant entrance hall. Emma loved the way the house invited her in. The huge staircase that led to the second floor was on the right hand side of the hallway. There was a large living room to the right of her, and a dining room on the left. She had always enjoyed the entranceway of the house – especially during Halloween and Christmas when the Camelots would dress it up in all its glory.

"Killian…" she started pulling away from him a bit.

"Listen love, I know what you are going to say. You forget I know you Swan. I can see it in your eyes; you think this is all too soon. You think we are moving too fast. I understand your trepidation. I just want to let you know that the invitation to move in is for whenever you feel like you are ready to move in. It could be next week, next month, next year, whenever. All I want is for you to be happy." He told her, moving back towards her. He took her in his arms, tightening his hug around her. She let out a huge sigh. She didn't realize she was holding her breath.

"I'm sorry Killian. It does seem so quick. I mean it was just this morning I told you I love you. You've only been back in town a couple of weeks. I just don't know what to think of everything." She confessed.

"I know love, just think about it OK." He asked placing a kiss to her forehead. "How about I give you the grand tour?"

She nodded in agreement. Even though she wasn't quite sure about the situation, she did want to see the house. She sent off a quick text to Henry, letting him know that they would be a little late picking them up. She knew the kids wouldn't care – Henry had texted her yesterday saying how much fun they were having. It warmed her heart to see her son getting along with Lily.

He led her into the living room. The room was huge – it had to be considering the number of parties the Camelots threw. The room opened on its side into a large sunroom, and had large windows that opened up to amazing views of the Potomac. It was decorated fabulously: traditional, yet modern and homely.

"Did you do all of this?" She questioned. The room was lovely, but was different than the last time she had seen it.

"Aye. After we closed on it, I hired a designer to help. I did however get final say and I did give many, many requirements." He winked. It surprised her how much of Killian she could see around the room. She could see him in the dark mahogany wood, in the dark navy colors, in the decorations around the room.

He led her into the large kitchen that also had views of the water. She could tell the kitchen had been recently renovated. Beyond the kitchen was a small breakfast nook with a large bay window. A little farther away was the family room. It looked a lot more comfortable than the other living room, but had the same feel. In the family room was the bay window that she had loved all those years ago. She could imagine herself sitting there reading a book and nice cup of hot coco.

She had already taken a peek at the dining room. It had the same color scheme as the rest of the house. It was too formal for her tastes, but it matched the house. She also knew there was a bathroom underneath the stairs. She was surprised about how big a bathroom could be hidden underneath the stairs.

"What do you think?" he asked her, looking at her as she took in her surroundings.

"It's magnificent Killian, it really it. It's all you. Did you know I used to dream about sitting in that window, reading a good book, watching the snow fall on the water, with a nice giant cup of cocoa?" She told him.

"You didn't love, but I can see it." He smiled. "Come Swan, I have more to show you."

He led her through the house and up the stairs. She loved the giant window at the top of the stairs that looked out onto the river. She had never been to the upstairs portion of the house before. The parties she attended were only held downstairs – a rope blocking off the staircase. On the landing there were four doors down to her right and three more to her left.

Killian squeezed her hand and pulled her behind him down to her right.

"Down here we have three bedrooms and a bathroom." He explained. He opened each door as Emma passed them. The bathroom was the first door they reached, and there wasn't much to look at. It was a traditional bathroom, but had been recently updated. The next door was to a room that faced the driveway. There was nothing inside.

"What is this room?" she questioned.

"I was thinking about making it a playroom of sorts. What do you think?" he startled her with his question. Why did he care what she thought? It was his house.

"I think it's a good idea Killian." She responded. She did think it would make a good playroom for Lily. It wasn't a large room, but it was a great size to hold toys and books. It was then she realized he had asked because he was still hoping she would move in here, have some say in the home.

He smiled down at her, but his smile wasn't as wide before. She knew he was disappointed in her. Had he really hoped she would say yes right away? She knew he loved her, but did he really love her that much? Had he always planned on asking her to move in? She wished she knew what was going on in his head.

He led her out of the room and down the hallway a bit more. The next room was facing the river. It was a large open bedroom with huge windows one had a reading nook. There was no furniture in the bedroom. She turned to Killian, thinking he was going to lead her to the next room, but when she turned to look at him, he had a concerned look on his face.

"What is it?"

"Well love, I was hoping that if you take me up on my offer, this would be Henry's room." He confessed quietly. He was nervous.

"Killian…" she trailed off, not really sure what to say.

* * *

KILLIAN'S POV

What was he thinking asking Emma to move in with him? He must be out of his mind to ask her to move in already; but once the words came out of his mouth he knew he had made the right choice. Nothing would make him happier than waking up to her every morning and falling asleep with her in his arms.

He could see the hesitation on her face though. Maybe it was too soon. He hadn't planned on asking her to move in so soon. He had only planned on showing her the house – showing her how close to her he would be. So even though their weekend was over, it didn't mean they had to spend all their time apart. Yet, when he saw her standing there in front of the house – he knew what he had to do.

He meant it when he said she could take all the time she needed. He didn't want to rush her into anything she didn't want to do. He loved this woman with all his heart; all he cared about was her happiness. He still gave her a tour of the house though. He had spent a good amount of his workweek determining how he wanted the house designed. He was thankful the designer got it all set up this weekend. The design reminded him of the ocean, yet was modern and clean.

Now here they were standing in what he thought would one day be Henry's room. It was the book nook that gave it away. Emma and Henry mentioned that he loved reading, and he thought the lad would like the nook. Then, when Emma mentioned that the bay window downstairs was her favorite part of the house: one where she wanted to curl up with a good book, he knew he had made the right choice.

She had trailed off after she said his name quietly. He wished he knew what was running through her head. He didn't want to scare her off, but he needed her to know just how much he cared, just how much he needed her in his life. He wanted to give her the world, wanted to be with her always.

"Love, look at me." He demanded. "It's only a suggestion. There is no rush at all. I promise. I will be happy with whatever you chose to do, it was only an idea."

"It's just all so much Killian. It's all so fast." She whispered.

"Emma, please. I told you, it was just an invitation. You can either accept it or not, but either way I am not going anywhere." He wished that she would understand that all he wanted was her to be happy.

"Why Killian?" she pondered. He looked over at her. She had moved to the nook that was held in the window. She was staring out the window. She slowly turned to look at him; there were tears in her eyes. Shit, he hadn't wanted to upset her, he just wanted her happy and in his life.

She said that she didn't want this weekend to end, she didn't want to spend the night apart, and he felt the same. Waking up with her in bed with him was the best feeling in the world. He had never felt more content and happy. It was like everything was right in the world. It just made sense to him to ask her to move in.

"Why did you buy this house? Why do you want me to move in? Did you do this because of me?"

"Yes and no." He confessed. She looked stunned. "Love, I didn't just buy the house because of you, but I would be lying if I said I didn't picture you here and I didn't buy the house in part because I wanted to show you just how serious I was about our relationship. There were many factors into why I bought this house: one, I wanted to give Lily a place where she could really grow up, in the school district where I met the most important people in my life; two, I was finally ready to actually have a home; three, yes, I wanted a home that one day become a home to you and Henry, as well as Lily and myself. So no, I didn't buy this house just because of you. I bought this house because it was where I wanted to make my home."

She nodded in response.

"I must confess love, I didn't expect to ask you to move in today. In fact, I was planning on waiting a while. I know that this is too fast. Believe me, I do. However, you said that you didn't want this weekend to end, and love I didn't want it to end either. Waking up with you every morning has been a dream. So when we pulled up and I saw you staring at the house, I knew what I wanted to do. But believe me, the decision is completely up to you. Again, whatever you decide I will fully support." He spoke with calmness in his voice.

He moved over to where she stood – looking back out the window. He wrapped his arms around the woman he loved. All he ever wanted to do was make her happy.

"OK." She murmured. "I promise, I'll think about it. I had a really great weekend too Killian." She turned and planted a kiss on his cheek. The gesture moved him. He saw it as if he was looking down at the two of them from above. They were standing in what would hopefully be Henry's room, wrapped in each other's embrace, completely satisfied in life.

Her answer was all he could ask for: a promise to think about it, a promise to really think about their future.

"So, you said that you thought this would be Henry's room?" She questioned pulling her head back to look out the window.

"Aye love, I did. It was this reading nook actually that sold me on the idea." He said.

"What about Lily?" she said, raising her eyebrows. "You did already talk to Lily about this right?"

Of course he had talked to Lily. He did nothing without her approval. It was actually quite funny that he always asked her permission for anything, he was supposed to be the parent in this relationship. He thought back to his conversation with her. He brought her to the house the day after he saw it. He had already placed a bid on the house, just to be on the safe side, but he would make sure Lily had the final say. She instantly loved the house. She had a huge grin on her face as he showed her around too. It was actually Lily who had questioned if Emma and Henry would be moving in.

It had been the night of their "family date" as Lily was now calling it. They had gotten home and she was a ball of excitement preparing herself for a fun filled weekend with "Grandma Ruth". His sister had never even met the woman, yet here she was already calling her grandma. She said Henry insisted on it. She had packed a large suitcase, and once it was placed by the front door, she moved to sit on the couch with her brother and flat out asked him. "So when are Emma and Henry moving in with us? I think he would like the bedroom across from mine."

The question surprised him. Here she was, his baby sister, pretty much deciding that Emma and Henry would move in, that they would be a family. It was like there was no doubt in her mind that the house would one day be theirs. He hadn't really thought about asking her to move in yet, it was only a fantasy for him. He only knew he wanted to wait a while, to show Emma he was really there, and that nothing else mattered. He explained to her that he didn't know, because he hadn't asked. He smiled down at her. He of course asked her if she was OK with them moving in – if and when he asked them. She surprised him even more when she said that nothing would make her happier than having them move in. After one night, he could already see the positive effects Emma was having on Lily.

"Yes Swan, in fact it was partly Lily's idea to make this room Henry's. Believe me, she is perfectly fine with whatever you decide to do. " He finally responded to her.

"She really wanted him to have this room? But look at this view! Didn't she want it?" she questioned Lily's decision.

"Follow me." He spoke, pulling Emma across the hallway. When he brought Lily to the house – after she calmly looked around the downstairs – she ran upstairs to claim her own room. He did have to fight her for the master suite, but she found an alternative in the bedroom down the hallway.

* * *

HENRY'S POV

His mom had texted him saying that they would be late picking them up. She didn't give him a reason though. He moved through his grandparent's house – locating his family in the family room off the kitchen. Lily was sitting with his grandma, talking about the latest book she was reading. His grandpa was sitting on his recliner, watching baseball. Their favorite team was playing, so Henry knew that his attention wouldn't be taken away from the large screen TV.

Henry caught Lily's eyes – giving her the silent signal they had come up with earlier in the day. In additional to the code name they had come up with, Lily had suggested a signal to indicate something was up with the operation.

"What is it Henry?" she questioned as she came into the kitchen.

"Mom just texted and she said that they would be late picking us up." He explained.

"That's good right?" She asked.

"Yeah, I think. I just wish I knew where they were going." He said. He was a bit worried about his mom. This was the longest he had spent without her. Normally they could only handle one night away from each other.

"Give me your phone." She said.

"Why?" she rolled her eyes.

"Because, we may be able to find her." She looked annoyed by his question, and like a know-it-all when she explained. It was like she was his sister. He loved it.

"Alright! She has her location turned on to share with you. You gotta love modern technology!" she squealed.

"Huh?" he replied. His mom had only given him the phone a few months ago, and it was connected to her account, so she could watch what he was doing. He really only used it to text his mom while she worked and to read. He preferred to play his video games on his TV.

"Well, your mom set her phone up so that she can see your location at all times and you can see hers." She said matter of factly. "OMG Henry, she's at the house."

"Why would he take mom home before picking us up?" he was so confused. This didn't make any sense to him. He looked over at his phone – where a map was displayed. However, the location didn't show his address.

"No Henry, he took her to our house. My dad bought a house for all of us to live in. He is showing her the house." She explained.

"What?" she looked annoyed with him again.

"My dad is asking your mom to move in with us. This is great!" Lily's excitement could no longer be contained. "It's great isn't it Henry?"

He was both confused and worried. He wanted his mom to be happy and he wanted to be happy too; and they were both happy with Killian and Lily. Yet he liked where he lived. He didn't want to have to change schools; he didn't want to live too far from Roland and this aunts and uncles.

"Yeah." He said with a sigh.

"Oh Henry. It will all be OK. Killian showed me the house and I already got to decorate my room. It's right down the road from your school too! You could walk to school!" his ears perked up with that.

"Really?" she nodded.

"Don't you want all of us to live together?" she said.

"Yeah, if it means I don't have to move schools, then yeah, I really want to live with you and Killian!" he exclaimed.

"Perfect! We just have to make sure your mom says yes. It looks like we have the first mission for Operation Cygnus." Neither one of them had noticed that his grandma and grandpa were now listening intently – a smile on his grandma's face.

* * *

EMMA'S POV

Emma had been shocked. Twice today had Killian shocked her. First, he asked her to move in, after just confessing his love. That didn't shock her, she knew he loved her, but asking her to move in so quickly was a shock. Then, as she entered into the empty room that faced the water, he had shocked her again. This room, this amazing room, could be Henry's?

However, his words: his wonderful, amazing, sweet, caring, heart-warming words, they touched her. She could do this, she could think about it. She could do it for him. She would be lying if she said she didn't think that waking up next to him each day would suck. Hell, she craved it after today. She was thankful he delayed the inevitable – she got a couple more hours with him. _Shit, tonight is going to be hell._

She knew she would need to talk to Henry about this. She was a little thankful that she had him. On one hand, she could use him as an excuse not to move in: claiming that it was too soon for him, that he didn't want to move in. Yet, on the other hand, she didn't want to use him as an excuse. She didn't know what she wanted.

Killian led her across the hallway. It was the last door on this side of the staircase. He opened the door and she was shocked to see what lay inside.

"Lily chose this room." He explained.

"Oh." Was all she could get out. The little girl was already moved into the room – her bed pressed into an alcove that was built into the wall. In fact, it looked like she removed the closet and placed her bed right inside. It was the cutest thing Emma had seen. It was the perfect room for Lily. But that isn't why she was shocked.

The room was roughly the same size as Henry's. _Wait; did I really just call it Henry's room?_ Yet, this room had many windows lining the wall that faced the driveway. All that you could see when you looked out the window, other than the driveway, was the woods that surrounded the house. From her conversation with the young girl, Emma knew that Lily preferred the woods to the sea. It was something that bothered Killian.

"It's perfect." She said. Killian nodded in response.

"Come love, we still have some more to see."

They moved down to the other side of the staircase. The two rooms that faced the driveway were mirror images of each other. They were smaller than the kid's rooms. _Fuck, again Emma? You don't live here and neither does Henry. Well, at least not yet, maybe not for a while._ Killian had said that he thought one could work as an entertainment room – putting a projector on the wall and creating their own mini cinema. While it scared her that he was using words like ours, their, and we; it also warmed her heart.

The other room he planned on making into a study and library. It was actually a perfect idea, since the room had the same alcove that Lily's room had, which would make for a perfect reading nook. She giggled at herself – why did she keep thinking of reading nooks. Was she turning into Belle?

"Alright love, one more room to go." He said. She could hear the nervousness in his voice. She knew why too. There was only one room that was left to see, the master suite. Was he worried she wouldn't like it? Was he scared it would run her off?

He led her to the double doors. His hand was sweaty beneath hers. It was clutching hers tightly, but not tight enough it was hurting; just tight enough to keep him grounded.

"The master suite." He said as he opened the doors.

While Emma was shocked at Lily's room, she was speechless at the site of his. _It could be yours too_. On the left hand side of the room, surrounded by two large windows was a gorgeous fireplace. Not one of those new electric fireplaces, but a true fireplace, one that could have crackling wood and true heat. The windows on the far side of the room were just as amazing. They gave a wonderful view of the Potomac, and in the middle of them was a set of French doors that led out onto a large balcony. To the right were the doors for the bathroom and closet.

While the layout of the room was impressive, it was the decorative touches that held her attention. The large bed was situated on the wall near the fireplace. It was a huge bed; wooden and ornate. While most of the house had been modern, the bed was traditional and class; and totally Killian. It was covered in a gorgeous navy comforter. There was a couch the window across from the bed. She looked over towards the closet again, seeing a dresser; one that had multiple pictures of her on it.

There was one picture of him and her at graduation. There was one of her at the beach their junior year _At least he chose a picture that made her look hot_. There was a picture of them from junior and senior prom. She smiled at the pictures. He really did love her and care for her all these years.

Sprinkled in between the pictures of her were pictures of Lily and him. Some from when she was a baby and some form when she was a bit older. They looked so happy in all of them. He looked like a doting father in many of them. If she hadn't known the whole story, she would have though Lily was his. She even looked like him in many of the pictures.

She moved around the room while he stood rooted in the doorway. She was taking everything in. The way the room felt around her. The way the hardwood floors felt beneath her bare feet. The way the light reflected off the water and into the room. She moved into the large bathroom. It held a large tub – big enough for lounging and possibly two people. There was also a large shower with a rainfall head. She had always wanted to take a shower under one of those. Dirty thoughts wafted through her mind – she could put good use to this bathroom. While she may not want to move in right away, or at least not sure if she did, she did know she would want to visit all the time.

The closet was every girl's dream; well most girl's dream. It was huge – the same size as the bathroom. She ran her fingers along his suits that were hanging up inside. She could see that the closet was split. His clothing took up about a third of the closet, leaving the rest empty. _He must mean for this room to be mine_.She didn't think she had enough clothing to fill the space, but it was nice to see that he thought of her.

She walked back out of the room, only to find Killian still standing in the doorway. She couldn't tell what was running through his mind. He looked scared, but also a bit excited.

"What is it Killian?" she asked.

"Just wondering what you think?" he said quietly.

"I must say it is amazing. The colors are prefect, really pulls the room together. And the fireplace is magnificent; I can't believe it's a real wood fireplace. Most homes have the electric ones now, and while they heat well, they just aren't the same." She said a smile creeping across her face.

"Aye love, I remember you saying how you always dreamed of living in a house with a real fireplace." He confessed. She couldn't believe he remembered that. It wasn't a confession from an important milestone of their time together. She had mentioned it one time when they were touring Mt. Vernon around Christmas. "What do you think of the balcony?"

"It's wonderful! I can just picture you out there during the summer reading a book and watching your boat rock on the water." She said, moving through the room.

"Not going to lie, the dock was the biggest selling point for me. To be able to just walk right out of my own house and right onto my own boat and just sail away: it's been a dream of mine, and now I can have it!" he said, more excitement starting to come out of his voice.

"Not gonna lie Jones, I can picture you doing that too. I can also picture you in that bathroom." She said with a twinkle in her eyes. He was looking too serious and she needed to lighten the mood.

He actually smirked at her statement. "Aye, I can see us putting it to great use too."

"Why are you still standing in the doorway?" she pondered.

There was a long silence that filled the room. He looked anxious, but there was something else growing in his eyes. She truly did love the room, and even though she hadn't made up her mind about moving in with him, she could picture herself here. It felt like her decision wasn't should she move in; it was when she would move in.

"Well love, it's just hard for me to watch you in here." He said, pulling her from her thoughts. "You look perfect walking around in here. It's driving me wild."

With that, he stalked over to her, and pulled her flush against him.

"You were meant to be here love." He growled pulling her into a searing kiss.

* * *

KILLIAN'S POV

Watching the love of his life walk around his house, what would hopefully be their house, was hard enough. He wanted her to be there all the time, to make it a home. Yet, now that he was seeing her in their room – yes, their room, he could never call it his room when it really belonged to her too – he was overcome with desire.

Her fingers trailed along the bedspread of the large bed he had purchased specifically for the house, the movement sent shivers down his spine. Her eyes grew when she saw the fireplace. He could picture her sitting in front of it on a cold winter night, wrapped in his arms after they had just made love. He knew she already loved the balcony – he could see it in the smile she got when she spotted the doors. The sounds of her feet as they padded across the wood floor gave him goose bumps.

When he finally had his lips on her, everything felt complete. He deepened his kiss almost instantly. He couldn't help it; watching her walk around their room, hearing her make that dirty comment about putting their bathroom to good use. He will never admit it, but it was one of the first things he thought about when he saw the giant tub and shower.

"Let's try out the bed love, and I can finally show you what I wanted to show you earlier." He whispered – blowing at her neck as he led her to the bed. He had a need to show her just how much she affected him, just how much he loved her. He was met with a soft moan from her lips.

He pushed her back until the bed hit her thighs. She fell back onto the bed, her hair falling out of her ponytail in loose waves. She looked like an angel – a perfectly wanton angel. Her eyes held so much passion for him. She licked her lips as she stared up at him. He quickly removed his shirt and got to work on her.

He leaned over her body, pushing her shirt up and he moved. He was very thankful when she sat up a bit to allow him to fully remove his shirt. He let out a hiss when he saw what she was wearing underneath. He thought her black lace bra was a sight to behold, but he then realized it was nothing compare to the pale blue corset like bra she was wearing now. She was beautiful.

"Gods Emma, you are a sight to behold. Pray tell, was this one of the surprises you had for me?" he questioned leaning down to kiss the swells of her breasts that were pushed up thanks to the bra.

"Mhmm… it was something I brought for us. Do you like it?" she questioned, running her fingers through his hair. He had never known the movement could be so erotic, yet it made his cock twitch.

"Aye my love, you cut quite a figure in it." He winked as he moved further up her body to take her lips in his. Without a word, they both scooted so that she was lying in the center of the bed. She moaned into his mouth and he grinded against her.

He had never been so happy for shorts in his entire life. Not only did Emma's legs look amazing in shorts, but also it gave him easy access to her. He moved his hands down her body, running them over her breasts – giving one a tight squeeze as he passed. The whimper that it elicited was music to his ears. He loved hearing her crumble underneath his hands.

"Killian, wait. I want to show you something." She said, sitting up. He couldn't help the look of disappointment that crossed his face. She reached up and cupped his cheek – planting a kiss to his lips. "I promise you will enjoy it."

He nodded, moving himself off of her so she could move. He decided he would go ahead and remove his pants – they were getting a bit too tight.

"I love you." She said as she moved off the bed.

She stood near the bed, slowly running her hands over her body. The bra she was wearing was more corset than bra, and it looked even better on her when she was standing. Her hands moved down to her shorts. She slowly moved her shorts down her body. He sucked in a breath when she stood back up as her shorts lay on the floor. She was wearing a matching pale blue thong. She looked delectable.

He moved to the edge of the bed, and reached for her. He needed to have her, to run his hands over her body, to make her scream out in passion. His hands grabbed her hips and pulled her to sit on his lap.

"My love, you are a goddess. I am so deeply, irrevocably, and shamelessly in love with you." She smiled at his words and lowered her lips to him.

They were back at it again. Lips were crashing against each other, tongues were swirling, messaging the other. His hands moved over her body, feeling the fabric in comparison to her skin.

"Oh Killian, please." She begged.

He quickly moved her off his laps and tossed her onto the bed. She giggled at his movements. He loved the sound.

"Now love, let me get you naked, so that I can properly savor you." He winked.

"Aye, Aye Captain." She said, trying to mimic his accent.

He made quick work of removing her corset, making sure she knew just how much he enjoyed it. His mouth came down over one of her nipples while his free hand messaged the other. Once the corset was just a piece of article on the floor, he switched his position, in order to give equal attention to the other breast.

He could hear her whimpers and cries of pleasure. It drove him crazy just how turned on he could make her. She really didn't know the effect she had on him. He was hard almost the instant she walked into their room, simply due to her presence there.

When he decided her breasts had enough attention, he moved south. He could smell her arousal already, and he knew she was soaked through her panties. He almost lost control and tore the panties off, but he didn't want to waste her gift. He lowered his face to her waiting core, planting kisses to her quim through her panties. He was right; she was soaked.

"You smell amazing love." He growled. She was wiggling beneath him, wanting him to be closer to her, needing him.

He hooked one finger into both sides of her panties and pulled them down, allowing him full access to her clit. Without missing a beat, he went to work driving her crazy.

"Fuck Killian. Oh Gods." She screamed as his mouth met her mound. Her yell was like a drug. All weekend, they had to be relatively quiet. But here, at their house, they could be as loud as they wanted, as long there were no kids in the house. Even then, he knew old homes were made with thick walls, so he wasn't too worried about it.

His tongue flicked her clit, making her shiver. He continued his attack on her clit, as he added a few fingers into the mix. He stated with one lonely digit, moving it in and out of her heat slowly. He could feel her climbing higher and higher, her walls pulling him into her. He added one more finger, then another.

"Killian." She yelled. Hearing his name on her lips was one of the best sounds he had ever heard. "Oh Gods Killian, please. More!"

He obliged, his mouth taking her all in, licking her juices and working his fingers. He knew exactly what he needed to do to make her come, to make her fall to pieces under him. He crooked his fingers and rubbed her walls.

She came with a loud cry – his name falling from her lips again. He continued to lap at her as she came down from her high. He would be lying if he said he wouldn't want to taste her again and again. Yet, he needed to be inside of her. He needed to make love to her.

"I need you my love. Please." He pleaded.

"Take me Killian, make love to me, please." She pleaded right back.

He moved over her body, moving her hands so that they locked behind his head, a bit of his hair being pulled in the process. Her legs instinctively came up to wrap around his lower back. He slowly moved inside of her.

She stretched to fit him, and the sensation almost did him in. He began to thrust, determined to push each bit of love he felt for her into his movements. He was content with going slow, wanting to make the movement last, never wanting to leave her. He growled loudly as she gripped his hair tighter in her hands.

"Please Killian." She whimpered.

"What do you need love? Tell me what you need." He moved down and kissed her neck, making her moan in pleasure.

"You, always you." She said, moving to take his mouth.

He picked up his pace, moving with more intensity, more purpose. Her walls were clinching around him, pulling him in deeper. He couldn't get enough of her. Her perfect body was the perfect shade of light pink. He kissed her everywhere he could reach – her shoulders, her neck, the swell of her breasts. Her lips were swollen from his attack on her lips.

He moved above her, rising up so that he could take in all of her. He moved one of his hands down to her clit. He rubbed circles around her. Her sighs of pleasure filled the room.

"Fuck love, you feel so good." He growled. He could never get enough of her.

His movements were not quick, but the thrusts of his cock in and out of her were driving him wild. He knew he wouldn't be able to control himself much longer. Yet, he didn't need hard and fast – he needed a steady beat. He was truly making love to her. His fingers were working her into a frenzy. Her hands loosened their grip of his head and began to move down his back.

Her nails were scraping into his back, making him play with her clit faster. Her moans were louder now, crying out for him to take her, to make her come. It would be his pleasure – his sole pleasure in life: he loved to watch his Swan come. He loved the way she fell apart for him. He needed to see her fall.

"Oh Gods." She yelled as she came around him. His cock was pulsing inside of her as her walls embraced him. He watched her fall. Her eyes were fluttering – the green irises of them were darkened in pleasure. Her mouth hung open, crying out. Her hands gripped his biceps, digging her nails into his skin. He leaned down to take her mouth in a kiss as she came down from her high.

After shocks were racking her body, pulling him closer to his climax. She pulled away from his needing lips and found his neck. She sucked, while reaching around him to cup his balls. Within an instant he was coming hard. His moans were now filling the room. She was panting beneath him, completely satisfied.

As they lay in his large bed a couple minutes later, he was finally able to ask her: "So what do you think of the bed love?"

She giggled against him.

"I think it is my new favorite spot."


	17. Chapter 17

KILLIAN'S POV

After they had relaxed in their bed for a couple of minutes, he reached over, caressing Emma's bare skin. They needed to head to her parent's house and collect Henry and Lily. He knew she needed time to think about his offer, and he knew she did her best thinking alone. He hated the fact that they would be spending some nights apart, but it was a cross he was willing to bear if it meant that soon Emma would be moving in soon. He tried to engrave the image in front of him in his mind: Emma's eyes were closed and her face held no stress, her hair fanned down around her, she was on her side and it gave him the perfect view of her breasts. She looked like a picture and he hated to disturb her.

"My love, while I wish we could stay here for days, we should get going and collect the children." he whispered.

A soft smile came across her face. Her bright green eyes were now looking right at him. He didn't think he'd seen her this happy in a long time.

"Alright Captain. You are probably right." she sighed.

He watched her intently as she got dressed. She went into the bathroom for a couple of minutes, yet he kept his gaze on the doors that led to the room. He didn't want to miss a moment of her in their room, especially if it would be a while before she would be in here again. If she was worried about moving in with him, worried that it was too fast, then she may worry about staying the night after dates. He soaked up her presence, hoping that he would be able to sleep tonight without her.

Once she was dressed, she padded around the room, taking a closer look at all the items. She looked at home there. He couldn't imagine her anywhere else; he didn't want to. He wanted to wake up to her everyday, fall asleep next to her, feel her randomly in the middle of the night - even if it was just her cold feet moving closer to him to get warm. He craved her.

"Killian…" she said, pulling him from his thoughts, "you have to stop looking at me like that."

"Like what my love?" he toyed. He knew exactly how he was looking at her. He always looked at her the same way, with utter devotion and love. He couldn't help it now that they have declared everything.

She walked over and sat back down on the bed. He was still naked under the sheet. He reached for her instinctively as she sat down, pulling her closer to him, wrapping her in his arms. He nuzzled his face into her hair, breathing in deep, hoping to remember the scent for later.

"I promise, I will think about it. I do really like it here, plus there is a guy who lives here that I am kinda crazy about too." she said, pulling herself closer to him.

"I love you Swan. Take as much time as you need. I promise, I'm not going anywhere," he said.

"I love you too," she said, moving back off the bed and walking out the door.

* * *

Killian was lying in his bed later that night. They had gone to Ruth's soon after she had walked out of the bedroom, leaving Killian wishing for more time with her. He wished they could stay in the room for days, just talking and making love. He wished she could take her time exploring the house, sitting on the balcony. He wanted to show her everything that the house had to offer, that he had to offer. But they needed to get Henry and Lily; they needed to get back to reality.

Lily hadn't wanted to leave Ruth's house when they picked the kids up. She was talking a mile a minute about all the fun they had over the weekend, how much she loved Ruth's food and book collection, about how she didn't want to leave. It warmed his heart to see that Ruth had taken such good care of his sister. While Lily had been happy recently, he could tell something was missing from her life. He knew she needed a family, and thankfully Emma provided that for her.

They had dropped Henry and Emma back of at Regina's. Since he had asked her to move in, he refused to call the house she shared with Regina and Robin, her house. Her house was on the river, the one that housed their bed, their bathroom, and their balcony. If he couldn't actually have her there yet, he would think about it all the time.

Her goodbye kiss to him had been too quick for his liking, but he understood every emotion behind it. She wasn't saying goodbye or goodnight, she was saying see you later, and hopefully more than what I see now. She was saying I will miss you, just as much as you will miss me. There was a promise in the kiss, a promise to think about his offer, a promise that she will think deeply about moving in.

He would wait forever for her he meant what he said. If she didn't feel ready to move in with him so soon, he would wait until she did. He would wait forever. Sure, it would take a lot of self-control to wait, but he would do it for her. His Swan deserved everything, and he was going to do that for her.

"So, did you ask her to move in?" Lily called from the doorway. She was freshly showered and ready for bed. She loved her new room; she had thanked him countless times for allowing her to decorate it the way she wanted. He wouldn't have done anything different. She reminded him so much of Emma, strong willed, caring, willing to do anything to help her family and friends. Lily deserved everything, just like Emma.

"Lily, you should be in bed," he scolded. Well, it was as close to scolding as he could get. He could never really be super strict with her, it never really felt right to him. He guided her and taught her well, but he couldn't really punish her. She had him wrapped around her finger.

"I'll go…" she said, as she moved to climb into his bed, "as soon as you tell me what happened with you and Emma!"

She had a huge grin upon her face. She knew exactly what to do to get her way. She snuggled up close to him. They had done this since she was a toddler. When she was upset or sad, she would snuggle close to him. Then, as she got older, and they would watch movies together or he would put her to bed, she would snuggle in, using him as a pillow. Now, she used it to get her way.

"OK Lily, I will tell you. Yes, I asked Emma to move in, yet she isn't sure if she and Henry are ready to take that step yet." he confessed to her. He kissed the top of her head. He had been excited about asking Emma to move in, but he knew that Lily was just as excited. She didn't admit it, but he knew it was because she wanted a woman's influence in her life. Killian knew his sister was beginning to see Emma as a mother figure.

"All right little love, it's time for bed." he said, lifting her off the bed, and walking her down to her room.

"It's OK Killian, she will move in eventually, I know she will. She loves you, and you love her. You just have to have hope," she said, as he laid her on her bed, tucking her in. Her words rattled in his head. She was right, he needed to have hope, he needed to believe that his love, and hers, would win.

* * *

HENRY' POV

**LILY: Hey Henry! I hope you are still up. Dad asked your mom to move in, but she said she wasn't sure if she was ready.**

**HENRY: Thanks! She hasn't said anything to me about it, but she does look kinda depressed.**

**LILY: I know what you mean. Dad has been walking around the house all afternoon moping. He even sighed when he walked into his bedroom after dinner.**

**HENRY: Do you think I should ask my mom about it?**

**LILY: No! Let her bring it up. We can't let her know about Operation Cygnus.**

**HENRY: OK. But if she does bring it up, what should I do?**

**LILY: Hey, you're supposed to be the mastermind behind this operation, not me. What do you want to do?**

**HENRY: Well, I think I'll try to talk her into us moving in there. I want us to be a family.**

**LILY: Me too little bro :)**

**HENRY: OK, maybe not now.**

**LILY: I'm only kidding.**

**HENRY: I know :) If she asks me about it, I will tell her I think it's a good idea. That I would love to live with you all.**

**LILY: Tell her to have hope too, that their love will conquer all.**

**HENRY: Maybe I will. Night Lil.**

**LILY: Night Henry. And about that little bro stuff, I do hope that one day you will be my brother.**

**HENRY: Me too Lily. Me too.**

* * *

EMMA'S POV

It had been a few days since Killian had asked her to move it. She spent Tuesday and Wednesday busy at work. She had been placed in the ER on Tuesday, working a few motor vehicle accidents and a couple of random sick people. One lady had come in with a bad case of the flu; she hoped that she wouldn't catch what the lady had. She hated being sick, and especially hated it during the summer. She made a mental reminder to take some Nyquil when she got home to hopefully stop any chance of getting sick.

She tried not to think about Killian during her day, and thankfully she was so busy she didn't really get the chance. It was such a long day. Plus, Dr. Capshaw caught her during her lunch break to say that her fellowship would be starting the following week. They were just waiting for her final test scores to come in. They had her initial exam results - she passed with flying colors - but they couldn't officially have her start the job until the scores were present to them. She was quite thankful for the break. She needed the week to wrap her head around her new job, a week to process her relationship with Killian, a week to get things back on track. The past few weeks have been crazy, nothing normal had happened. She needed this week to get back to normal.

Wednesday passed by in the same fashion Tuesday did, this time however, she had back-to-back-to-back surgeries. Her day started at four am, since her first surgery was a six-hour long, it would be starting at six am. She was going to be working with the leading cardiologist at the hospital to do a heart transplant surgery on a seven year old she had gotten pretty close to during her time as an intern. In fact, the boy, Felix, had been Emma's first patient. It was good to see him again, and his surgery was a success. They just had to wait a few days to make sure he didn't reject the new heart.

At noon, she moved into her next surgery. She was going to be working with the plastic surgeon attending to fix a cleft pallet in a newborn. She used to have a hard time focusing when she worked with him. The attending was one of the best looking men she had ever laid eyes on. Doctor Dane was at least fifteen years older than her, but she would be lying if she hadn't thought about going there with him a time or two. Of course, nothing ever happened, how could it when she wouldn't allow herself the chance? However, now looking at him, he didn't hold the same attraction as before. She could only seem to think about how his eyes were nothing compared to a set of bright blue ones.

Her final surgery, which started around five in the afternoon, was the one she was most looking forward to. It was a simple surgery, but one that now meant the world to her. She was going to perform an appy, the same surgery she had performed on Lily. She was going to be leading and would be in the room by herself. She smiled at herself as she changed in the resident's lounge. She also took notice that she needed to send her scrubs off for washing, she only had two more clean pair left,. She also checked her phone.

Killian had messaged her good night on Monday. It was one of the hardest nights she had since college. She didn't feel as comfortable alone in her bed. She kept dreaming of what Killian would do to do if he was there with her. She thought about the feeling of his arms around her as she fell asleep. She thought about how her feet searched for his legs in the middle of the night because they were too cold, and he was nice and warm. She told him so the next morning. She texted him that she missed him and that the previous night sucked, especially after they gotten used to sleeping together. It had taken so much strength for her not to call him and fall asleep to his voice, for her not to just get in her car and drive over and climb into bed with him. She needed to be able to function without him. The joy she had when he reciprocated the feelings was overwhelming. She was mad that she had caused him to not sleep well, but at the same time, proud of herself that she had that pull on him.

She had crashed when she got home on Tuesday, only another quick message from Killian saying goodnight on her phone. She hadn't had time to think about it before now. She missed him like crazy, and she couldn't lie, she missed waking up to him. She missed talking to him. She missed hearing his voice. She knew being a doctor came with a crazy life, one that was always busy - at least until you were a respected attending who could be home at five. Yet, she couldn't stand that they haven't been able to talk since Monday. He was busy too, but nothing compared to her workload. He still had time to message her, to send her words of encouragement. He messaged her constantly throughout the day, yet she hadn't been able to reply much more than a _Thanks_ or _I love you and miss you_.

Maybe moving in with him wouldn't be such a bad idea. She would be able to see more of him. She would know that Henry would be taken care of when she had to work late or early. She knew Killian would be a good influence on her son, and she knew Henry would love spending more time with him. Plus, she would actually get to spend the nights wrapped in his arms. She could wake up to him. So even if she had a long day, she wouldn't be getting by on just short texts, she would be getting by on his actual kisses from that morning, knowing that more would be waiting for her when she got home.

As she moved into surgery, she made the decision that she would talk to Henry tomorrow. She knew he was coming into the hospital for lunch with her, so she would make sure she talked to him about the possible move. She wouldn't do anything without him. She just hoped he would say OK.

* * *

_One more day till the weekend!_ Emma thought to herself as she walked down from the OR to the lunchroom on Thursday. It had been a long day already. For some reason, all the kids decided today would be the day to all get sick. They had a total of ten patients on the floor, and six of them were throwing up. They knew it was just a bug, yet you can never take that chance with kids who just had surgery. The four that were OK, including her appy patient from the night before, were all moved to the traditional children's floor, while the six who were sick were being watched around the clock until their fevers broke. She had been cleaning up vomit all day, yet she was starving.

Her phone buzzed in her pocket.

**KILLIAN: My love, I miss you so much. Last night was again torture without you near.**

Emma smiled at the text. He was such a cliché. Normal people did not text like that. He was so proper with his message, and so sweet. Normal people didn't talk like that, but Killian was not a normal person.

**EMMA: Me too! Granted, I was so tired last night that I just fell asleep once my body hit the bed, but I know I didn't sleep well. For some reason, my feet were cold all night. ;)**

**KILLIAN: That's horrible love. I shall go out immediately and get you some nice fuzzy socks to wear.**

She loved how he didn't take the opportunity to ask her to move in again. She still had to talk to Henry, as she wasn't quite sure she was ready for the jump. She was glad that he was giving her the space and time she needed.

**EMMA: Red ones please :)**

**KILLIAN: Of course my love. Can I take you out on Saturday and present them to you then?**

**EMMA: Sounds like a plan Captain.**

She found Henry sitting in his normal spot in the cafeteria. He already had a plate in front of him that was filled with French fires and a large burger. Ruby's grandmother ran the cafeteria at the hospital. It was one of four that patrons could choose from. It wasn't your traditional cafeterias either. Almost everything was made to order and the place was set up to look like a little cafe than a hospital food court. Granny always watched over Henry when he came, spoiling the boy with whatever he wanted to eat.

"Grilled Cheese and Onion Rings Emma?" Granny called from the window to the kitchen. Emma nodded and moved to her son.

"Hey kid, how's it hanging?" she smiled at her son, who was shoving fries in his mouth. All she heard from him was a garble of noises that escaped his mouth around his food. "What did I tell you about talking while you ate. Take smaller bites Henry, the food isn't going anywhere."

"Sorry mom, it's just so good. I'm starving." he whined.

"Alright kid. So, I gotta talk to you about something." she said, the nerves could be heard in her voice. Granny had walked over and set the plate of onion rings down in front of her, while her plate with the grilled cheese was off to the side. Granny raised her eyebrows at Emma's statement, a knowing grin spreading across her face. What Emma didn't understand was why she was so nervous about this. Why was she nervous to ask her son if he would want to move in with Killian?

Part of her was worried that he would hate the idea. Henry had become so close to Regina and her family, would he want to leave them? He had said during their discussion of Africa, that he didn't want to be away from them - they were his family. Could she get him to understand that he would only be moving a few minutes down the road?

Another part of her worried about what Henry would think. Would he think his mother crazy for jumping into a relationship with a man then moving in with him only a few short weeks later? Would he understand why she was asking him?

"Ok, shoot?" he said, smiling after he took a bite of his burger. His smile made her feel more relaxed.

"Alright, well Killian and I were talking on Monday about the future. He bought a house – it's down near the river, close to the elementary school. Lily and him moved in last week." she began.

"That's cool mom," he said. Her eyebrows shot up. Why was he being so calm about this? Didn't he know what she was starting to say?

"Yeah it is Henry, but there is more. Killian wanted to know if you and I would move in with him. I just wanted to know what you think of it." she questioned. She was picking at her onion rings. The one in front of her was no longer a fried onion ring, but an onion ring with no fried dough around it.

"He wants us to move in?" Henry questioned.

"Yeah, he said he wants us all to move forward and to be a family." she said, "I just wanted to know what you think about that?"

"I think it's pretty cool mom!" he said, grinning up from his French fires.

"What?" She was surprised to say the least. She had been so nervous that he wouldn't like the idea. She was nervous he would say no. Yet here he was, without even thinking about it, he was saying yes. What the fuck was going on in her life?

"Yeah, I mean Killian is really cool, and I really enjoy spending time with Lily. Besides, you are so happy with him mom." he confessed.

"You don't think it's too soon?" she questioned. She had no idea why she was asking her nine year old son if her relationship was moving too quickly.

"Do you?" He said. She shrugged. Was she really having this conversation with Henry?

"Mom, you just have to have some hope. You love Killian. You haven't told me yet, and you might not have told him yet, but you do. You are so much happier with him, so why question it? As long as I don't have to leave my school, I don't really care where we live. But if we move in with them, you have to promise me one thing." he smiled.

"What do you want?" she said with a smirk on her face, here came the catch she was waiting for. There had to be something he wanted, something she had to get him, for him to be this happy about the prospect of moving in with Killian.

"I want you to start being happy, and being really happy. You have to stop questioning everything mom. I know you do. Mary Margaret and Regina complain about it all the time. They say you overthink everything. If we move in with them - i want you to really start being happy. As long as you are happy, I'm happy." he smiled.

Her son really was too good to be true. There was no way a nine year old could possibly think like this. He had to be an old soul trapped in a kid's body. But, he was right. She did spend too much time overthinking and questioning everything. Hell, she was doing it right now. If was being truthful with herself, if she didn't question things and if she did what her heart really wanted, she would have moved them into Killian's house that day. Yes, she wanted to take their relationship slow, yet she also needed it to go faster. After all, they had known each other for years. Sure, they were a bit different than they were in high school, somethings don't change.

"Ok Kid, you got a deal," she said. Reaching her hand over to shake on it. His sticky and greasy hands making contact with hers. While he may seem like an old soul, at least Henry's table manners were that of a nine-year-old boy.

The rest of lunch went well, they discussed the upcoming school year, much to Henry's dismay. They discussed her new job and how she would probably be a bit busier this school year than last. They discussed his weekend at his grandma's. It was during that discussion that she realized that Henry already loved Lily. It was almost like he was talking about a sibling. He said she did things that annoyed him, yet entertained him at the same time. She could picture them now running around that house, causing chaos in their wake. It brought a smile to her face.

"So you would really be OK with moving in with Killian and Lily?" she pondered as they were wrapping up lunch. She had to make sure he was really OK with it.

"Yeah, as long as I have my own room, I think it will be cool," he added.

"Yeah kid, you would have your own room." she said, smiling that this was the only thing he was worried about.

"Awesome! So… when will we move in?" he finished. She laughed at her son and how quickly he was adapting to everything. Besides, he had a point; she needed to have some hope.

* * *

HENRY'S POV

His mom had finally talked to him about the move. Lily was right; she was scared of moving in. It upset him that his mom was so scared to fully love someone. It still felt like she was holding back because of him. Didn't she understand that all he wanted was for her to be happy. Killian made her happy, happier than he had ever seen before.

He had to admit that he was scared at first. Moving away from his home to a new one that he would be sharing with his mom's boyfriend and his sister wasn't normal. Would he like living with Killian and Lily? Would they start to fight? Would Killian try and punish him or control him? Would mom spend more time with Lily than with me?

Even though he had all those thoughts running through his head, he knew that he really didn't have to worry about anything. He knew he would love living with them - Killian was fun and always doing something interesting and Lily was always nice to him. He doubted they would fight: and if they did it would be more like how siblings fight over toys, nothing serious. He knew Killian would never try to control him - that he would only ever support Henry. He also knew that even if his mom spent time with Lily, she would always love him more and try everything she could to make him happy.

Now, all he had to do is make sure that she followed through and talked to Killian about moving in.

He pulled out his phone from the nightstand and texted Lily. He was sure if his mom found out they were texting so late - and so much - she would have a cow, but he didn't care. Operation Cygnus was going so much better than planned.

**HENRY: I talked to mom today. She was nervous, but I think she had made up her mind.**

**LILY: Really? That's amazing Henry - what did she say?!**

**HENRY: Looks like you will be getting a roommate :)**

**LILY: OMG! :) :) :)**

He shared in Lily's excitement. He couldn't wait to be a real family!

* * *

KILLIAN'S POV

He had purchased a couple of pairs of socks for his Swan. They were now sitting in a gift bag on the passenger seat. He was too excited for their date. It had been too long since he last saw her. He was so proud of what she had accomplished in the past ten years - she was an amazing mom and a gifted surgeon. Yet, he somewhat hated her job. She kept long hours and was busy most of the day. He had gotten lucky these past few weeks when she was able to text him back and they were able to go out. But even though he hated her job, he also was happy for her - she was doing what she loved and she was so good at it.

He had texted her during the week - little things here and there to let her know he was thinking about her and that he missed her. More importantly, he wanted her to know that he loved her with all of his heart. He didn't once bring up her moving in: giving her the space she needed in order to make the decision. He had wanted to mention it to her when she said he feet were cold the other night, he wanted to tell her that he could warm them up if she moved in, but he held his tongue. She would always be the one to determine when they would move further in their relationship, and surprisingly he didn't mind that.

He had passed the week buried in his work, even though it took some self-control to actually work. Sitting at his desk, he sometimes pictured Emma sitting on top of it, kissing him and caressing him. It took a lot of will power to shake those thoughts from his head and get to work. He had a few surprises up his sleeve for his love, and if he wanted to actually do those surprises, he needed to take care of a lot of work.

Before he had the chance to get out of his car, Emma came barreling down the front lawn. The look of excitement plastered across her face. It had only been a few days since he last laid eyes on her, but it felt like an eternity. He couldn't contain his joy when he saw her, and neither could she. She looked happy. She was wearing a pretty sunflower dress - light blue that hit right above the knees. She looked like a vision - especially with the sunlight hitting her hair. He fumbled his way out of his car in order to reach her before she reached the car. She ran straight into his waiting arms.

"I've missed you." She exclaimed, wrapping her arms around him. She held him tight. His need for her was growing - and it wasn't just a primal need that was brewing inside, but a simple need to be around her all the time, to be surrounded by her.

"My love," he sighed, placing his head on hers, breathing in her scent. He loved her hair, the way it smelled and the way it hung. "I've missed you too."

"I've had such a busy week. I am sorry I haven't talked much." she confessed. He could hear the sadness in her voice.

"Swan, don't apologize for working. I am so proud of the work that you do. Don't worry, things will get better, I promise." he whispered to her, hoping to lighten her mood.

"OK. So what are the plans for today?" she questioned.

"Well, I was thinking that we could go over to National Harbor and just walk around. Have a nice dinner and ride the Ferris Wheel." he told her: he had been wanting to get over to the harbor's new area since he arrived back, and of course he would want to go with Emma. She loved Ferris Wheels - enjoyed the view and made her feel like a bird. Whenever they went to a carnival when they were younger, the first and last ride she went on was always the Ferris Wheel.

"Sounds like a plan Captain!" she said, pulling him down to a quick kiss before she moved into the car.

* * *

EMMA'S POV

The date was going fabulously. She was kinda waiting for the other shoe to drop. The dates they had been on so far had always ended with some sort of crazy confession or story. She couldn't help but worry that if she moved into him; their entire lives will be filled with the same issues that their dates had.

The date had started with the Ferris wheel, something she had loved doing for years. She loved the view that she could get from the top - it was like the world was open just for her. She felt free on the top; it was a similar feeling to that she got when she was on a ship - freedom. Once they had ridden the Ferris wheel, he took her hand and led her along the water, stopping in to look at different shops. She wasn't planning on buying things, but she loved window-shopping.

The dinner was amazing - sitting right on dock of the harbor, a great bottle of wine, and the best surf and turf dinner she had ever had. Their conversation flowed naturally. They talked about her crazy workweek and how she was going to be starting the fellowship soon, how his business was already beginning to thrive, how Henry and Lily had been doing since coming back from the weekend. It warmed Emma's heart to hear that Lily had taken to her mother so quickly. In fact, Ruth had texted Emma on Tuesday to say just how much she enjoyed having Lily over, and that she was welcome back at any time.

As the sun began to set, Killian had one last surprise for her. He asked her to wait on a bench overlooking the harbor and Ferris wheel. He wouldn't tell her where he was going, just that he forgot something in the car he had to get. When he came strutting back from the parking lot, he had two large blankets in his hand and a picnic basket.

"Jones, what is all this?" she questioned.

"Well my love," he began, as he pulled her up off the bench and intertwined their hands, "they are showing a fabulous movie right over there tonight. A movie under the stars. I thought you might enjoy it."

She smiled at him and leaned up to place a haste kiss to his lips. She loved movies under the stars. She hadn't been to one here yet, but it was something they had done once or twice when they were younger.

"I think it sounds amazing. Do I get to cuddle you during the movie." she winked.

"Aye Swan, but you no making out - there are wee ones present." he said, noticing the twinkle that she had in her eyes. Yes, she had been thinking about making out with him during the movie. She had been thinking about her lips on his all week. Friday night was the worst. She had been beat all week, but for some reason she was energized on Friday night. She was half tempted to sneak away to his house to see him, just in order to kiss him. She craved him.

"Party pooper." she whined as a smile crept across his face. "So what movie are we watching?"

"That is a surprise darling." he winked at her again.

They laid the blankets out near the back of the grassy area that also housed the projector and screen. Killian had brought along some of her favorite snacks - sour patch kids, red vines, and Chex Mix. She wasn't much for popcorn unless it was fresh and hot, so she loved the spread he created for her.

"I love you." She said, looking over to where he was seated. He wasn't too far away, she could reach out and still touch him, but he was still getting everything situated. He stopped what he was during and turned back to her. Emma sucked in a breath; there was now a deep hunger in his eyes, the normal crystal blue eyes now a deeper shade. He reached over and pulled her flush against him.

"I know." He said, pulling her into a searing kiss, one that said she better be glad people surrounded them or he would have taken her right then and there.

She pulled back from the kiss and settled into his arms, ready to watch the movie. As the opening credits began to run she realized that his previous statement was something of a hint to which movie they were going to watch.

* * *

As Killian drove her back towards her house, she was contemplating telling him her decision to move in. However, she wanted to make sure that her decision was the right one. She had promised Henry that if they moved in, she would stop questioning everything and start really living. Yet, she couldn't help the feeling of dread when she thought about living with Killian. Yes, she wanted and needed him around and wanted to wake up to him every morning; but she was afraid of disrupting the good thing they had going. She had to make sure her decision was good.

"I have an idea." She spoke, turning herself so that she was looking to him.

"What is going on that in head of yours Swan?" he teased.

"Well, I was thinking. Monday is the fourth of July. I don't start the new job until Wednesday and they are giving us Monday and Tuesday off - so I was thinking that you should have a big Fourth of July party at your place." she explained.

"Aye my love, I think that is a brilliant idea. What do you have in mind?" he asked. She was glad he did - she wanted to explain why she wanted the party at his place and on that day.

"I was thinking that you could have a BBQ pool party with just the group. We could swim and eat all day long, then watch the fireworks from your pier. We could even get some of our own to set off. Then I was thinking that Henry and I could stay the night, see what it would be like to live there." she blushed at the last part.

"My love, that is the best idea I have heard in a while." he said, a large smile creeping across his scruffy face.

"Perfect." and everything was - she had decided after the party, after the night of them acting like a family, she would make her final decision and let him know the answer before she started her new job.


	18. Chapter 18

KILLIAN'S POV

Killian had always loved the Fourth of July celebrations that in the past. When he was younger he had trouble celebrating the day - he felt bad that he wasn't a _real_ American citizen. He hadn't been born here, so why should he celebrate it? Well, he didn't think that, but some bullies did; so since that day he had trouble celebrating the event. That was until he met David and Emma. They changed his whole view of the day. Since their father was military - they spent the day in a spectacular fashion. The summer between their sophomore year and junior year showed Killian just how much he had been missing. Emma's parents escorted them onto the base near their high school. They spent the morning swimming and grilling out: Emma's father knew his way around the grill. He had met her parents before, but that day brought him closer with her father: he took him under his wing and taught him the proper way to man a grill. The afternoon was filled with fun games - a command sponsored picnic with more food and fun. The day ended with huge fireworks done by the base. He could remember the look on Emma's face when the fireworks went off – he had loved fireworks ever since.

He was setting up his backyard bright and early. After their date, Emma messaged the group inviting them all over for the festivities. His pool had recently been cleaned and the grill was prepped and ready to go. He had rented a blow up house for Lily, Henry, and Roland. He had corn hole set up near the water's edge and the boat was full stocked for when they would take her out to get a better view of the fireworks from the Mall. However, he still had somethings to do before everyone arrived. Lily was no help though, she was too busy chasing around her new dog.

Killian had cracked under the constant pressure Lily was giving him about getting a pet now that they were in a real home. He didn't want to get her a cat, since Henry already had one and he was positive that once Emma and Henry moved in, Binx would joining the family. Instead, he went out the Tuesday after their trip to the cabin and got Lily a puppy. He had a hard time picking out the perfect dog for her. The shelter nearby was filled with dogs - some old and some young - all of them too cute. He was glad he didn't bring Lily along - she would have begged him to buy all of them. After about twenty minutes looking at all the dogs, he settled on a puppy that was almost a year old. She was a husky shiba mix - with bright blue eyes and a coat of brown and white hair. She was the perfect puppy; calm yet happy.

He could remember Lily's screams of excitement when he placed the dog on her bed that night. The smile on her face was all Killian needed. She immediately named the dog Hope. That night, Hope and Lily slept in her bed, cuddled up together. It was such an amazing sight to see. He snapped a picture and sent it to Emma. She was just as happy as he was - sending her back a GIF of someone saying awww.

The backyard was complete around ten AM. The group wasn't scheduled to arrive until noon - everyone getting a late start to the morning. He was surprised that everyone was able to have the day off. David had said that the ER was going to be busy - with idiots who didn't know their ass from their elbow lighting fireworks and trying to BBQ. However, both Emma and David were able to take the day off. Emma said she earned it after working both Christmas and New Year's Eve - so her attending granted her the day off. David had also worked those days, plus pulled a double the week before - so he was able to take off too.

Killian looked up from his spot on the porch - he had been watching Lily play with Hope. She was running around the backyard, between the pool and the water, with Hope trying to catch her toy that she was swinging about. He chuckled at the scene. As he watched, he heard someone else's laugh from behind him. Spinning around, he saw Emma and Henry standing in the doorway that led to the family room.

Henry was trying to contain his excitement of seeing a dog. He was bouncing, trying to pull his mom through the door. Emma however, was grounded. She looked stunning: her long blonde hair cascaded down her back, even thought it was pulled into a ponytail with a red ribbon. She wore a blue tank top and white shorts. The whiteness of her shorts helped to accentuate the tanned legs she had - they were long and defined. He sucked in a breath of air when he took her in.

"My love, you're here early," he said, finally pulling himself from his stare. She hadn't told him she was coming early, but he wasn't upset by it at all. Hell, he was happy she was early. It would give them time to be a family before everyone else showed up. He was secretly hoping that he would be able to show that to her today. He wanted her to see that her and Henry being here would be the best for all of them.

"I know, but we wanted to come over and help out, plus we wanted to talk to you both." she explained, moving over to where he had stood up. She put herself in his arms; while he leaned down to kiss her lips quickly.

"Mom, can I go play with the puppy?" he heard Henry whine next to him.

"Sure, but make sure you ask Lily first." she called after him. She giggled at her son as he raced off to see Hope and Lily before his mom even finished her sentence.

"I've missed you," she said, turning her attention back to the man who was holding her. She stunned him. She was always gorgeous, yet every time he looked at her, it was like he was looking at her for the first time. He learned something new about her face, her body, her personality, every time he looks at her. He leaned down to kiss her one more time. However, this kiss was anything but quick and easy. It was passionate and wild. They forgot that they weren't alone.

"Ewwww!" cried out two voices. They pulled away from each other, blush coming up to Emma's cheeks and Killian scratched behind his neck. Their children were standing together near the pool, with Hope jumping up and down trying to reach for the toy in Henry's hand.

"Sorry kids." Killian yelled.

Emma was giggling beside him. Her lips were swollen from the kiss, and she looked so happy. He was in awe of her.

The kids came running over to them, with Hope right on their tail. Emma sat down in a chair that surrounded the large patio table. Food and drinks were already laid out for snacking. She put some chips in her hand. Hope jumped right up into Emma's lap.

"Oi, get down." he started to scold the dog.

"It's OK babe." Emma said, turning to look at him. "She's harmless."

"Aye my love, but I am trying to teach her not to beg for food or jump on people." he explained, as Emma fed the dog some chips.

"Sorry." she claimed, but she didn't look very sorry.

"It's OK Swan." he smiled. Yes, he wanted a trained dog, but seeing Hope and Emma sitting together, with Emma sneaking her snacks was just too cute.

"Did you tell him?" asked Henry as he sat down opposite his mother, with Lily moving to sit next to him. The two of them looked thick as thieves. Killian was sure they were up to something, their friendship reminded him of his with Will. They were always getting into something - and Lily had the same look on her face that he did when he was scheming.

"Tell me what?" he questioned, looking from Henry to Emma.

"Well, Henry and I wanted to talk with you and Lily about something." she explained. Lily looked like she was going to fall out of her chair. She was excited. What was going on?

"Darling, what is going on?" he questioned when he saw Henry and Lily exchanging glances.

"So, I thought about what you said, and I talked with Henry, and we've decided…" she was speaking when Henry yelled out.

"We want to move in." he exclaimed.

Before he had time to process what was happening Lily was out of seat screaming with delight and running into Emma's arms. Henry was taking Hope into his; twirling the dog around like they were dancing and he held her close. Lily looked like she was crying. Emma had a huge grin on her face as she hugged his little sister. He could hear Lily asking if it was true and if she really meant it. Emma was rubbing circles on her back, saying yes. That she wanted to be with them, that she wanted to tuck her in every night and read stories with her.

Killian sat frozen in his spot. Did she really just admit that they were going to be living together? Did she truly want to move in? He couldn't believe it: he was actually going to get to hold her every night, get to see Henry grow up, get to have breakfast with the love of his life. He was going to see Lily grow up with a mother figure - someone to teach her the ways of being a woman. He was going to get to spend time with Henry - teaching him all about sailing.

"That is OK with you still right?" he heard Emma question. A huge grin had appeared on his face. How could she think it wasn't OK?

"My love, it's more than OK. You have made me one of the happiest men on Earth!" he said, standing up and moving towards her. She stood up as he approached, setting Lily back on the patio. He pulled her into his arms and breathed her in. She was really here, and she was saying yes. He pulled her chin up so that he could show her just how OK with it he was.

"Really?" Henry whined.

"Looks like we're gonna have to watch ourselves love." he said stepping back so that he could place an arm around her waist.

"When are you moving in Emma?" Lily questioned.

"Well, I think we need to set up a timeline of sorts. I am going to be super busy the next month at the hospital and we will need to decorate Henry's room and move all of our stuff over." she explained to her.

"I have an idea." Killian said, making the two look at him. Henry was sitting down with Hope on his lap looking at him.

"What about you move in the first week of August. It will give you enough time to settle into your new position, pack up both of your belongings, and give Henry time to design his room. Also, I was going to ask you both later, but now seems like a good time. I have two other propositions for you." he said. Emma's eyebrows arched, questioning what he meant.

"Wait, you mean I get to decide what my room looks like?" Henry called out, finally speaking.

"Aye lad, you can design it however you like. Lily, why don't you take Henry up and show him with room is his?" he suggested.

"Not yet, we want to hear what you have to say." she complained. She did have a point - he hadn't told Lily what he had been planning yet, so it would be the perfect time to tell everyone.

"Well, I was thinking that right before you all move in, we take a small trip. How would you all like to see the Pony's swim?" he asked.

"Really?" Lily said.

"Really. I've already booked the hotel and tickets. The whole weekend is a festival, so I was hoping we could all go down and spend the weekend together before the move. A little R&R before things get stressful." he explained.

"That sounds wonderful Killian." Emma sighed, pulling herself closer to him.

"Awesome!" cried out Henry.

"I was also thinking about taking a trip down the coast before school starts. Spend three days aboard the Jolly, and then we dock in the Outer Banks for a week. I was planning on asking the rest of the group to come down as well, however, they would drive down. Then we would sail back up, just in time for school to start. What do you say love?" he asked, looking down at Emma.

"Oh Killian, I think it's wonderful, but I'll have to ask for the time off. I am not sure I can take that much time off yet. But, I'll ask, because nothing sounds better." she said.

What he didn't say was that he already had asked everyone if they could come down for a week. They were all on board. As well, he had already talked to Emma's attending. Dr. Capshaw was all too willing to let Emma have the time off once she heard what he was planning. Everything was falling into place.

"Do we really get to sail the boat?" Henry asked.

"Aye lad, you'll be my first mate. We'll take care of the lasses and show them a good time," he said.

"Hey! I can do anything that Henry can do." Lily said sternly.

"Aye little love, that you can. How about you both are my first mates, you can split the work load," he suggested.

"OK." they both said, a bit disappointed. They went back to playing with Hope after their small let down.

He smiled to himself, as Emma moved from his arms to sit down on the love seat. She pulled him with her and they settled into the seat. Was that really the kid's first argument?

"You handled that brilliantly babe." Emma confessed. It was then that he heard his newest nickname. She had said it a few times now, but this was the first time it had truly registered with him.

"Babe?" he asked.

"Well yeah, you call me darling, love, my love, Swan. But all I have for you is Captain and Jones. I wanted something a bit sweeter, and babe fits." she explained.

"Well, I like it, and I love you." he said, pressing a kiss to her hair.

"I love you too." she said.

"So you think I handled that well?" he asked looking down at her.

"Yes. They will fight sometimes, even though they are already good friends. Now that we will all be living together, there will be more fights. I'm sure Henry will get jealous of Lily and vice versa - we just have to learn how to cope with it." she smiled up at him.

"Aye lass, and we will do just that. We do make a great team," he added.

"That we do."

* * *

The two hours after she told him the news were torture. He wanted to take her inside, to their bed, and spend the rest of the day making love to her and showing her how happy she made him. But, they had their kids, so they weren't able to get away. He did however; hold her close, planting quick and sweet kisses to her skin whenever the kids weren't looking. He couldn't believe how lucky he was. He was living in his dream house, his dream woman pressed up against him and she was moving in, his sister was happier than he had ever seen, and he finally had a real family.

When his friends finally arrived, the torture disappeared, and he was able to focus his attention on them. David and him manned the grill - using his father's recipe for make the best burgers, hot dogs, and chicken anyone had ever had. Mary Margaret and Emma were sitting on the patio talking about work. Ruby and Graham were with Henry and Lily chasing Hope around the house. He was surprised the kids, and the dog, were still going. Will and Belle relaxed in the pool; well trying to relax as Robin and Regina weren't having an easy time getting Roland to stop splashing them. As he looked around, he felt even luckier. His family was bigger than he ever thought. Henry called all of Emma's friends aunt or uncle - he wondered if Lily would start calling them that.

As they finished up the grill, everyone was starting to take their places around the table. He had purposefully ordered the large table, knowing that once Emma moved in they would be having everyone over often.

"Happy Fourth of July everyone!" Killian said, as he sat the last plate on the table.

"Happy Fourth!" rang out in response.

"Hang on! Before we eat, I think we should get a picture of this!" Emma said, speaking above everyone. She moved to where her bag was and pulled out a selfie stick. He shook his head at the sight - his Swan had a selfie stick. The sight was too funny, but he was also glad she had it. The stick came in handy - allowing everyone to be in the picture and flatter everyone. The picture was perfect: Lily was curled up under Emma's arm, Emma had rested her head on Lily's, Henry was leaning over Killian's shoulder so that he would fit, one of his hands placed on the other shoulder. The rest of the group was posed behind them. Once Emma had showed him the pictures - she did take ten just to make sure everyone was looking and smiling - he knew that this is where everyone was supposed to be.

"Alright everyone, let's dig in!" David proclaimed.

The meal was winding down and Emma was about to go inside when Mary Margaret clicked her glass, getting everyone's attention. Killian looked at Emma, who had been sitting across from him. She looked confused.

"We have an announcement everyone." she began. Everyone was suddenly still, yet the girls all had looks on their faces, like they knew what was coming next.

"We're pregnant!" David announced.

Everyone was suddenly excited. The men all moving around the table to congratulate David, hands slapping his back. The girls all moved to Mary Margaret, hugging and kissing her, asking the important questions that the guys didn't know to ask. Of course, the groups switched and the girls descended on David.

"How far along are you?"

"Do you know what you are having?"

"Are you excited?"

"When did you find out?"

"How did she tell you David?"

The questions the couple were getting were flying at them so fast, Killian couldn't keep up with who was asking what. All he could tell was that Mary Margaret and David never looked happier.

* * *

EMMA'S POV

"We're pregnant!" David announced.

To say that Emma was surprised by their announcement would be an understatement. She was surprised, elated, overjoyed, and a bit jealous. She knew something was going on with David and Mary Margaret. Normally, her sister-in-law was much more chatty than she had been in the last week or so. Also, she had stopped drinking caffeine all together and skipped her morning tea run with Emma. She thought at times she was pregnant; Mary Margaret was showing some of the same symptoms she had when she was pregnant with Henry.

Once everyone calmed down from the announcement, Mary Margaret and David answered everyone's questions.

"We are fourteen weeks along. I surprised David with the news a week after I took the test and saw my OB to verify. I made him a shirt and the baby a onesie and gave it to him as a present. We aren't sure what we are having yet - that appointment is in six weeks. However, I have a feeling it's a girl; David thinks it's a boy. We are so excited - we are already planning the nursery room and everything." Emma grinned at her confession - she was the complete opposite of what Emma was when she was pregnant. She was happy for her friend.

Her jealousy was simply over the fact Mary Margaret was so happy. When Emma was pregnant she couldn't really get happy and excited over it. She loved Henry to death, would do anything for him, but her pregnancy was scary and lonely. She looked over at David and Mary Margaret. Seeing them so happy made her want to do it all over again. She looked over at Killian and thought _one day, one day that will be us._

* * *

They decided to wait until they were on the boat to tell everyone their own good news. They didn't want to over shadow the news of her brother and sister-in-law, but they needed to know. She had already told Regina and Robin about the move that morning. They were both really supportive and happy for them; even though Regina was a bit sad that Henry would be leaving. She loved him like she loved Roland. It gave Emma an idea.

As they were pulling away from the dock, Emma walked up to Killian and put her arms around him. He relaxed into her arms, sighing as he relaxed. She felt at home with him. She placed a kiss in-between his shoulders.

"I have an idea." she stated.

"Aye love, what idea do you have?" he asked, not turning around. He had to keep his eyes on the water as he navigated them through the river.

"What were your plans for the guest house?" Emma asked.

He hadn't shown her the guesthouse on her tour, so she wasn't sure he had a plan for it. She knew it had three bedrooms, a full kitchen, and two bathrooms; but she didn't know if it had been updated or not.

"I hadn't really thought of it my love. I know it has been updated - around the same time the main house was updated. I was hoping that you would have an idea for it." he said.

"What if we ask Regina, Robin and Roland to move into it?" she questioned.

She wanted to keep them close. Henry and her had both become dependent on the couple - and while she wanted to live with Killian and needed him, she also wanted to make sure they were all right. She had grown accustomed to having them around. She knew Regina wanted a house of their own one day, they had talked about moving a few times before. Now they could have their own house. She also knew Robin was in the midst of building Regina her dream house, but Regina had no idea - he was going to surprise her for her birthday in November. They could live here until their own home was ready, giving everyone plenty of time to adjust to the new arrangements.

"If that is what you want Swan, it is what you shall get. Whatever your heart desires love, that is all I want for you." he said, turning around slightly to kiss her head.

"I'll talk to them about it. It wouldn't be for long, just until he finished with her dream house, but it would give me time to adjust not living with them." she explained.

"Of course my love." he said.

Killian parked the boat near the harbor they had been to a few nights ago. The sun was just dipping below the horizon. The sky was a mixture of colors. She pulled out her selfie stick and called Henry and Lily over. Putting them all into position they took the photo - the sunset filling the background.

"Our first family photo." he told her, a smile upon his face.

"The first of many." she added. Leaning up to plant a kiss to his cheek.

They moved down to where everyone else had taken a seat. Blankets were spread out on the deck and snacks had been distributed. Music poured from the speakers - the radio station would be playing music set to the fireworks. There were only a few minutes left until the show began.

"Ok everyone, we have an announcement too." Emma began. Everyone sat up at attention - all trying to figure out what was going on. Now she knew how Mary Margaret felt.

"Emma and Henry are moving in with us." Killian announced before anyone really had a chance to guess what their announcement was.

All her friends gathers around her, the same way they did her brother and sister-in-aw, congratulating them on the decision. She heard Will tell Killian that it was time he asked, David congratulated him but also warned him not to hurt her again. She could see the pain in Killian's eyes as David relayed his threat. She had forgiven him, and she knew the others had too; but she wished they would stop worrying. She still had the fear of him leaving stuck in the back of her mind and it was harder to ignore when her friends kept bringing it up.

The girls, of course, we more excited about her impending move than the men were. However, Regina stood back from the group. Emma could see the sadness behind her eyes. While Regina wasn't really one to show excitement over situations, her stare worried Emma.

"Regina, Robin, can Killian and I talk to you for a moment?" she asked. Her friends nodded and followed her to the stern of the boat. Killian had taken her hand on their brief walk back.

"What's going on?" Robin questioned.

"Killian and I were talking and I have an idea. You both know how much you mean to me - without your help the past few years, I wouldn't have made it as a doctor and Henry would be a very different child. I really don't want to lose what we had going just because I am moving in here. Yes, I'll have Killian to help me out, but I also want you both to still help. Henry loves you both, and so do I. That is why we were wondering if you guys would be interested in moving into the guest house." she explained.

"Really? Don't you both want to be independent and have a family of your own." Regina asked.

"We are a family - all of us. I promise, all of us will have our independence. I just want you both close by." she responded.

"OK. Well darling, I think it is a wonderful idea. We had been saying for a while that we wanted to look for our own place. If we move in here, we can start saving the money for it and really start looking." Robin stated.

"Alright, if everyone will be happy, then we'll do it. Thank you. I really didn't want to lose Henry." Regina confessed. Emma knew what she meant - she loved Roland like he was her own, and she had been worried about how the move would effect him.

"Brilliant, it's settled. Emma was thinking of moving in the first week in August. That gives you all a month to find new renters for the house your currently in, pack up your things and move them here." Killian added.

Things were finally starting to fall into place.

* * *

KILLIAN'S POV

He was willing to do anything to please his Swan. He wanted her to have the world. So, when she asked if Regina and Robin could have the guesthouse for a while, he knew he would say yes. It wasn't a bad idea either. He knew Emma was still a bit skittish - worried that he may leave, worried that he would break her heart. If it would help her to have the family close by, he would do anything to make it happen. He wanted her to feel safe, to feel at home. He knew it wouldn't be forever, just long enough for Emma to feel safe.

They watched the fireworks from the boat - the colors dancing across her face. They were all lying on the deck of the boat, looking straight up. During their first fourth celebration, he remembered her telling him that - the only proper way to watch fireworks up close was to lie down. He had parked them pretty close to the Jefferson Memorial - allowing them the best views of the fireworks.

Lily was curled up next to Killian, while Emma lay on the other side. Henry was tucked underneath her arm. Her face showed pure delight. He couldn't help but smile with her. He was the happiest he had ever been. There were times with Milah where he thought he was truly happy, but nothing he had then compared to what he felt now. People used to talk about true love - how your soul was destined to match another; how you never felt whole since a part of you was with another. He now knew exactly what those people meant. He never felt whole until Emma, always had an empty spot, until she filled it.

The fireworks ended and he sailed them back to the house. Everyone was quiet, just taking the evening in. Emma was standing next to him, wrapped in his arms. There was a slight breeze that moved her hair around him, allowing him to breathe her in. Henry and Lily were already asleep - both exhausted from the day's activities.

David helped to move them inside while Mary Margaret helped Emma bring in the food. The rest of the gang left after the ship docked. It had been a long, but glorious day. Every time he saw Emma, he was filled with joy. His heart was full - overflowing with love for her.

He tucked Lily into the bed and checked on Henry - who was sleeping on the couch in the library. He already had plans drawn up for that room when he showed Emma around. He knew instantly that she wanted a library - a place that was quiet where she could escape. Books lined one whole wall, while a large oak desk sat across from it. He added in a couch that could be turned into a bed, so that if they had guests - they had a place to sleep. He was lucky the room had been completed so soon.

When he walked into their bedroom _thank god he could call it that opening now_, he was floored by what he saw. Emma was already in the bed, but the covers weren't over her. She was lying on her back, using her elbows to prop herself up. Her hair was now down, and waved over her shoulders. However, that wasn't what stopped him - it was the fact that she was completely naked. Her hair cascaded over her bare breasts, allowing her nipples to peak out of the tendrils. The curves of her body were alluring. He sucked in a breath, his eyes darkening as he looked her body over. He cock sprang to life the instant he saw her.

"My love, you are a vision," he said, beginning to move towards the bed. Emma had all the lights turned out in the room, but had lit some candles on the nightstands and dresser. The candlelight flickered over her body, casting erotic shadows that teased him. He moved to the front of the bed, and took in the sight before him. The lust in her eyes was maddening. Did she really need him as much as he needed her?

He crawled up the bed, planting random kisses on her body. He could feel the heat radiating off of her - each kiss like fire upon her body. She moaned at each touch. As he moved up, he spread her legs so that he was able to lick the sensitive spot at the apex of her thighs. He teased her a bit - small licks and kisses, enough to make her squirm beneath him. She fell back, moving her hands to his head. He loved the way she raked her fingers through his hair, guiding him in his quest.

"You taste amazing my love." he whispered against her body, blowing softly against her clit. She moaned with pleasure.

He moved up her body again, this time taking a nipple into his mouth while he messaged the other. He switched every couple seconds. She was arching up, needing to be closer to him. However, he kept his body high above her, only making contact with his lips and hands.

"Killian, please." she panted.

He moved back down to her clit, running his tongue through her folds. He loved the way she tasted and smelled. He was addicted to her from the second he touched her. He added a finger into the mix, moving it across her folds in rhythm with his mouth. Her hands were now fisted into the covers, her legs wrapped around his back, pulling him closer to her.

"Gods Killian, please don't stop. You feel so good." she breathed. He moved his finger to her wanting core. Pressing into her, in a sweet and slow manner, he hear her cry out. The pleasure was starting to overcome her. He stroked her walls, his fingers dancing inside of her. His tongue lapping her up. Her moans were becoming louder by the second - and he couldn't care. The walls were thick and he knew that they could be as loud as they want.

"Let go for me love, I want to hear you fall." he growled against her sex.

She fell only a few second later, with one sweep of his tongue. Her body arched up as the waves rocked her. His favorite sound in the world was her shouting his name at climax. It was music to him. Her body was flushed red, her eyes closed and her lips slightly open. Her chest rising and falling in quick procession - coming down from her high. He could watch her like this forever. He moved back, slowly pulling his fingers out of her, making her jolt with pleasure. He stood up and removed his shirt and pants.

He crawled back over her. She leaned up to meet his lips in a searing kiss. He nipped at her lips as she tried to claim his mouth. He pulled her up so that she was sitting on his lap. He moved to wrap her legs around him, keeping her lips on his. He hooked his hands underneath her perfect ass, messaging the soft skin. Her wetness was coating his erection, each time she moved against him. She groaned as he took her bottom lip between his teeth.

"Aye love, you feel so fucking good." he said closing his eyes, taking in everything she was doing to him. He reached between them and lined his cock up to her entrance. He slid easily into her. Her walls contracting against him, pulsing around his cock.

"Fuck Emma, you are so tight, my gods you feel so good." he growled, his voice getting husky.

She leaned back a bit, allowing his arms to hold her in place on him. As she leaned, she began to move up and down on his cock. She rocked on top oh him, eliciting soft moans from throat.

"Oh gods, Killian!" she cried. He moved a bit, so that he could touch her hard nub. He used his thumb to pulse her, pushing it down in quick succession, in time with her thrusts. It sent her over the edge, with him falling only a second later. He took over thrusting, pushing himself deeper into her as her walls milked him. He cried out her name as he emptied himself inside of her. She leaned forwards and kisses his face as he came down from his high.

"That was…" she said trailing off, trying to find something to say.

"I know." he agreed, knowing there were no words to describe what they just felt.

She moved off of him, walking to the bathroom to clean up. He followed shortly after, allowing himself to take in her naked form. He knew he would never get used to this. He would never tire of her.

Once they were back in their bed _their bed_ he smiled. He pulled her close to him; she burrowed her head into his check, her hand coming up to play with his chest hair. It felt so normal yet the movement meant the world to him. They whispered their love for each other as the relaxed in the warmth of the bed.

"Welcome Home my love." he whispered to her as she fell asleep. They were both where they needed to be. They were finally a family.


	19. Chapter 19

ONE MONTH LATER

EMMA'S POV

To say that the last month had been crazy would be an understatement. Since the Fourth of July BBQ that Killian threw for everyone, she had taken up her new position at the hospital as a attending pediatric surgeon, packed up her entire life into boxes, spent hours with Henry and Lily at Ikea preparing to decorate his room, done countless surgeries, worked ungodly hours, and spent as much time as she could in Killian's arms. Yes, her life was busy, but she was happy. She had everything she could possibly want out of life.

Her new position allowed her the opportunity to do more surgeries - leaving the busy work and grunt work for the interns that were now assigned to her. Most days she had two surgeries scheduled, leaving a chunk of time for emergencies that may arise - and most of the time they did. Hell, in the past week she had done three tonsillectomies, five bone placement surgeries, two heart surgeries, and set a dozen bones. She had also done hours of paperwork. Most days she arrived at the hospital around six and didn't leave until seven that night. Thankfully, Killian offered to take Henry most days, allowing him bonding time. Emma wasn't sure how he was working it - considering he had a full time job too - but like clockwork, Killian picked her son up and dropped him off each day.

Her son told her that they spent a good portion of the day hanging around the house: playing in the pool, setting up the entertainment and play rooms, running around with Hope outside. He said that Killian always had his phone on him and spent a good portion of the day on it, but never once made Henry feel like he wasn't important. He said Smee was always coming and going brining paperwork by and discussing business. It made her smile that her son and boyfriend were getting along so well. Plus having Killian pick him up in the morning and drop him off at night were the best parts of her day. They were able to steal quick kisses from each other while Henry would lazily move to the car in the morning. In the evenings, once Henry would stop talking to Killian and moved to bathe for the day, she would steal longer kisses, caressing his body as she savored him. Those little moments, coupled with the texts that she got from him during the day kept her going, working for the weekend, when she knew she could be with him again.

Most of the time the texts were decent: little snippets of the day he was having, pictures of their kids playing, little thoughts he had about their life or him missing her. But sometimes, once a week to be exact, the texts got a bit dirty. Since she went back to work, Killian had taken it upon himself to keep her satisfied until the weekend came and he could ravish her properly. The first day it happened, she was caught so off guard.

* * *

_Wednesdays were her slow days at the hospital. She only scheduled one surgery those days, electing to have her interns in the skills lab so her load was light. She was just about to shower after her bowel resection when the text came in. She had been surprised when he texted her: he said that morning that Lily and Henry would be spending the day with Will and Belle at the waterpark nearby since he had a morning meeting, so his text came out of the blue. But the contents of the text surprised her even more._

_Staring up at her was a picture of him - showing him half naked. His erect cock was in his hand. She couldn't tell where he was from the picture. He was going to drive her crazy with that picture. He had mentioned that he missed her, especially in the mornings and evenings when she would have been wrapped in his arms. She wasn't quite sure what to do with the text, but she knew she needed him. She had never sexted before - most of what she did with Killian was new. Yet, she was all in if it meant she could feel something like what he could give to her._

_ **EMMA: OH MY GODS** _

_ **KILLIAN: I am hoping that is a good exclamation love.** _

_ **EMMA: Oh it is. Fuck Killian.** _

_ **KILLIAN: So you like it? This is OK?** _

_ **EMMA: More than OK. Gods Killian, I miss you so much.** _

_ **KILLIAN: And I you my love.** _

_During their conversation, she had an idea. She would send him a picture to match his. She was about to get in the shower anyways - so it was the perfect time. The lounge was empty. It was a new lounge for her - since residents and attendings didn't share lounges. She knew there were only three other doctors who used this lounge - and all three of them were in surgery for at least two more hours. Still, to be on the safe side, she moved to lock the door. She did the same thing to the bathroom door when she entered it._

_She placed her phone on the ledge in the shower, and moved around until she found the best pose. She was bent over a bit, her breasts pressed together. Her legs were spread a bit, allowed one of her hands to move in-between her thighs. She was already wet, just thinking about sending him her reply. It was nothing like the feel of his hand, but it took away some of the ache she was feeling. Her face wasn't in the picture, but that was OK, the picture showed everything he needed to see._

_She sent the picture with a smirk on her face and turned on the faucet. She waited to climb into the shower, hoping to receive a response back. Thankfully one came within a minute._

_ **KILLIAN: Bloody Hell Love. I hope you know just what you are doing to me. My hand feels nothing like yours.** _

_Her smirk grew larger at his confession. She could picture him now: sitting at his desk in his office, his cock between his fingers, stroking himself, trying to mimic the way she would play with him. His mouth parted a bit, groaning at the feel of his hands moving up and down. She couldn't help but move her hands back to her throbbing nub._

_ **EMMA: And mine feel nothing like yours.** _

_ **KILLIAN: Bloody minx - I wish I were with you right now. Where are you? What are you doing? Tell me exactly what you are doing to yourself.** _

_She had moved into the shower - thankful that she invested in a phone case that allowed her to use while wet. Her hands were sliding down farther, teasing her entrance. She knew nothing would compare to having him actually there, but she would try._

_ **EMMA: I have one finger playing with my clit, making small circles - I have another finger fucking me. It's nothing compared to you though.** _

_ **KILLIAN: Bloody hell love, I'm going to come everywhere if you keep talking like that.** _

_She decided she needed to send another picture. It was too hard to type to him while working herself into this state. She needed more - her fingers were too small compared to him, she couldn't hit all the places he could._

_She placed her phone back down and angled herself so that he could see just how her fingers were working to get her to her climax._

_She was a bit embarrassed to be sending him these pictures and to be texting this way - but turned on at the same time. Her need for him was too strong._

_ **KILLIAN: Fuck Emma!** _

_She didn't respond to his text, instead, she focused on bringing herself to completion. She lifted one leg up onto a ledge in the shower - allowing her fingers to travel deeper into her core. She palmed her breast the way he did, pinching a nipple. Her thumb raced across her clit, bringing her higher. She began to move with a fever now - needing to come._

_She thought about what he would do to her if he caught her right now. She was sure he would kneel down and taste her, using his tongue to bring her to climax. He would use his fingers too - pushing three inside and curling them against her walls. But those thoughts weren't what got her off - it was what she would do to him afterwards. She hadn't had the chance to suck him off fully yet, but it was something she was planning on later. Imagining herself sucking his cock while he played with her was what sent her over the edge._

_She came with a soft cry. She wished she could have come with his name of her lips. Her orgasm was not as strong as the ones he gave, but satisfied her need. But, it also built up her hunger for him._

_ **KILLIAN: My love, are you OK?** _

_ **EMMA: Yes, I'm sorry. I just had to finish - please tell me you came as good as I did.** _

_ **KILLIAN: Of course I did love; it's just not the same without you here. I would have preferred it was your cunt getting me off instead of my hand.** _

_ **EMMA: Me too - it was good, just not the same. I can't wait for Friday.** _

_ **KILLIAN: Me either love, me either.** _

* * *

_She was finally able to see him for more than a few minutes on Friday. After the previous weekend, which they spent apart: they had decided that during the week she and Henry would stay at their house, but on the weekend, they would spend the nights together. Emma knew it was a good idea - allowing them all to become accustomed to the new arrangements. They hadn't moved anything in yet, but Henry brought with him a small suitcase filled with his necessities._

_Thankfully, Mary Margaret and David took the kids out for dinner and movie - giving Emma and Killian the alone time they so desperately needed. She knew moving forward that they would have to watch themselves around their kids - controlling their needs for each other. So she was thankful that Mary Margaret and David wanted to take the kids out. She hadn't been alone with Killian since the day after she told him they would move in._

_She arrived right as the kids were leaving. She gave them both a kiss on the cheek and hugs - telling them to behave and listen to her brother and sister-in-law. She walked into the house in search of Killian. She needed him - the little kisses over the past couple of days and his text messages drove her wild. She didn't know how much longer she would last. She didn't find him on the first floor, and he wasn't outback. She trekked up the stairs, hoping that he was in the room already. However, she stopped by the library when she heard him. He was on the phone with Smee - barking orders._

_She decided not to interrupt him, instead, she removed her clothes and placed them outside the door for him to find. She moved into the bedroom and decided to wait for him there. She loved surprising him like this. Driving him crazy with her teasing._

_Within a few minutes of her lying on the bed, she heard the library door open. The house was quiet, but she wasn't able to hear any reaction from him. However, she knew that he probably had a sharp intake of breath, emitting a low growl that would drive her wild. All too soon, the doors to the bedroom opened. He immediately began to take her in. She was lying down, one hand between her legs, the other palming her breast - just like it was in the picture she sent to him earlier in the week. She wanted him to see just how much she needed him._

"_Fuck Emma." he growled as he moved towards the bed. He stood at the edge, and while not moving his eyes from hers, removed his clothing. He gripped his already hard cock in his hand. "Keep doing that love. You are a beautiful sight."_

_She continued to play with herself: She needed to have him, to make him shake with passion the way he made her. She removed her hand from her breast and grabbed his cock instead. She began to pump as she continued to work herself up. Her hands were nothing compared to his, but seeing herself grip his cock was helping her along._

_She let go of him, only for a second, to pull him down onto the bed. She leaned over to kiss him. His hand snaking around her waist._

"_I've missed you," she moaned at his lips._

"_Aye, me too." he echoed._

_She backed away from him, breaking the kiss they were sharing. She moved down his body, planting kisses everywhere she went. Her hand went back to his cock, slowly pumping him as she moved. It was like their first night together, but this time, she was going to make him come with her mouth. She smiled at herself as she reached his cock, putting the tip of his head into her mouth._

"_Bloody Hell Emma." he groaned. His head was tilted back, his eyes shut in passion. She had barely touched him and he was already close. She could tell by the way his cock twitched as she took him all the way into her mouth._

"_Fuck." he growled, moving a hand down to touch her. She wasn't sitting over his legs this time, but to his side, with her ass facing him a bit - allowing him ample opportunity to touch and please her if she should want. He played with her only slightly, just enough to tease her into a frenzy. She began to move quicker on his cock._

_She reached down to grab his balls, giving them a bit of a squeeze and she took him all the way into her mouth._

"_Love, I am going to come," he warned her. She had never gone done on someone before, but she knew what to expect. When he came in her mouth a short second later, she didn't stop her work - she keep sucking him, using her mouth to send him farther over the edge. His cries of passion and her name were all she needed. She had made him fall apart the way he made her._

_As she pulled off of him, he reached for her to pull her closer. She didn't know how he would feel kissing her after what she had just done. She loved to kiss him after he had had her, but she didn't know if he would feel the same. He however, pulled her closer to him, sealing his lips over hers._

_He began to claim her mouth, his tongue parting her lips to tease her mouth. She felt his teeth nip at her bottom lip. His hands slid down over her body. She was straddling him now; one of his hands working her body back up while one hand grabbed her ass. She was in heaven. They worked together perfectly._

_His fingers teased her entrance, as his thumb continued to brush over her clit. Her moans escaping between kisses. When he finally entered two digits into her wanting core, she cried out - needing to have more. He moved his hand from her ass to her breasts, taking a nipple and pinching it the way she needed. She loved how he knew exactly what she needed. His fingers pulsed within her, dragging along her walls, finding the perfect spot within her. His thumb moved faster, bringing her to the edge of bliss. He bit down on her lip as he slid a third finger in and flicked his thumb over her clit: causing her to instantly come. Her walls tightened on his fingers, she could feel herself pulsing around him. She kept her lips on his, needing him as she came down from her high._

_She collapsed on top of him as he moved his fingers up to her back, messaging small circles near her shoulder blades._

"_You are bloody brilliant love. I've missed you," he claimed._

"_I've missed you too. I can't wait till I am here for good." she admitted, knowing she never wanted to be away from him again._

* * *

As she reminisced about the past month, and her dirty texts with him, she knew that they wouldn't be able to indulge in each other this weekend. Tomorrow she was officially moving out of the house she shared with the Locksley's and moving into her new home with Killian. She had everything loaded into the rental truck that was parked outside. It was Thursday and she took the afternoon off to move everything into the truck. Robin was off, so he helped her with the heavy items. Tomorrow, Killian and Lily would help move everything inside, then they would immediately leave: heading to the Eastern Shore where they would be able to bond as a family. The Locksley family would be moving into the guesthouse upon their return.

They had spent time over the past month learning as much as they could about each other - Emma already knew that Lily wasn't a late sleeper, and enjoyed waffles over pancakes. She knew Killian preferred his coffee black and would only eat a healthy meal for breakfast. Henry learned this the hard way when one morning Killian threw away his pop tart, calling it junk food, as he moved to make Henry a more hearty breakfast. It was the first little skirmish the boys had, but by noon, they were fine - Henry agreeing that Killian's breakfast was better and Killian agreeing that he would let the boy choose what he wanted to eat, instead of forcing him to eat what Killian ate.

Most Saturdays were spent looking at designs and determining how to decorate the new house. Sundays were spent with friends - having little pool parties and movie marathons. Henry had bonded with Killian quite a bit during their time together, but Emma hadn't been able to spend much time alone with Lily. She had only spent a few hours with her one weekend when Killian took Henry golfing with him and David. They went and got pedicures - getting to know each other a bit more.

However, this weekend provided Emma with more one on one time with Lily. She had promised Killian that she would try to help Lily out as much as she could, and she was determined to spend time with her. She already talked to Killian about it and had a plan in place to get to know Lily better this weekend.

* * *

KILLIAN'S POV

The time had finally arrived. Emma and Henry were finally moving in. Sure, they were just moving stuff in today, but once they all arrived back on Monday - there weren't going to be leaving. He knew it would take them a while to fully unpack their stuff, but he didn't care - they were finally home.

He spent a lot of time with Henry the past month. He learned things about the boy he never thought of. He learned his love of pop tarts - which was a product from their first fight over Killian's willingness to cook him a proper breakfast. He learned Henry preferred comedies over action films - understanding jokes someone his age probably shouldn't know. He now knew that Henry preferred the color blue to any other color, that his favorite sport was soccer, his favorite book was Peter Pan, he was scared of spiders, and all he ever wanted in life was for his mom to be happy.

He learned the last piece of information one morning after their pop tart incident. It had been a few days, and Killian wasn't quite sure how to handle the lad. He seemed fine, apologizing to Killian just a few hours after their argument, but Killian wasn't sure if Henry was really fine or just putting on a front. He decided the best course of action was to talk to him - lay all their cards out on the table. He had Smee take Lily for a few, so he could pay attention to Henry.

* * *

"_Alright lad, I think it's time we had a talk." he said, moving to Henry who was sitting on the couch about to play a video game._

"_Sure, what's up?" Henry questioned._

"_I want to make sure everything is OK with us." Killian explained._

"_Yeah, it's fine." Henry said, almost too quickly. His voice was a bit high, and Killian knew the lad wasn't telling him the whole truth._

"_Henry, I want us to be honest with each other. If there is something wrong, I want you to be able to talk to me. I am sorry for the way things happened on Saturday." he said. He knew he didn't handle it well when the lad yelled at him for trying to boss him around as he put it._

"_Fine, I guess I am still a bit mad about it. I'm just not really sure how to handle everything." Henry confessed._

"_What do you mean?" he questioned. He had asked Emma quite a few times if Henry was really OK with this, and she said he was OK._

"_I want my mom to be happy, and you make her happy. I want us to live here, I like Lily, and I like you; I'm just not really sure what it means for everyone. You aren't my dad, but you sometimes treat me like you are. Lily keeps saying that we are going to be a family, but I am not sure I get what that means. Are you allowed to punish me?" Henry was right - it was all confusing. He knew he wasn't Henry's dad - and it still pained him that he wasn't - but he wanted to take care of him, he wanted to make sure the lad never wanted for anything and was happy. All he wanted was to support Henry - to show him that he was going to be there for him, just as his mother was._

"_Is that what you're worried about lad? That I may punish you?" he questioned. Henry nodded his head. He didn't want the lad to worry about that._

"_Listen lad, I know this is all happening really fast. I want you to know that I love your mother and I love you too. I want you to be happy - I never want to see you upset or hurt. I treat you like a son sometimes because that is how I see you. You are family to me and I just want what's best for you. I promise, if there is ever a time where you get in trouble - I will talk to your mother before doing anything. We are a team - the four of us," he confessed. He really did see the lad like a son - he was a part of Emma, so his love for the boy was as unconditional as his love for her._

_Henry took in Killian's words for a moment. He was looking down at his controller - playing with the joystick._

"_Do you really mean that?" the lad finally questioned._

"_Aye, we are a family Henry. That means that we support and love each other through everything. It's going to be hard work getting used to the four of us living together, but in the end, it will be the best thing we've ever done." Killian said._

_Henry looked over at Killian; there was a look in the boy's eyes that he couldn't place. All of a sudden, Henry threw himself at Killian, wrapping his arms around him. Killian's arms came to wrap around the boy, pulling him in for a tighter hug._

"_Thanks Killian. I am sorry I have been so moody. I just was scared this weekend. People read stories where the stepparent is mean and controlling, and I was just worried that you were going to try to change everything. It just scared me for a bit. I am glad I am here now though. I want my mom to be happy, when she is happy, I am happy. And she is really happy with you, and I am too." he heard Henry say as the boy tightened his hold. "I love you too." he heard him whisper a few moments later._

_Killian couldn't believe what had happened the past few months of his life. He could never imagine that he would be back in Emma's life, let alone being back in love with her and having her move in. He never expected to have someone in his life that he pictures as a son; let alone that person be Emma's son._

* * *

"What you thinking about Captain?" he heard a voice question behind him. He turned around to see Emma standing in bedroom door. He was in Henry's room, making sure that everything was ready for them to move in. Ikea had delivered all of his furniture yesterday, and he had spent the evening assembling the items so that everything could be ready for the lad. Since their little confession, he wanted to make sure Henry knew just how much he cared about him.

"Just thinking about Henry." He confessed.

"Everything looks amazing." She said, walking over to him. She wrapped her arms around him, pulling him close. "He will love it. Just like he loves you. Just like I love you."

He had told Emma about their talk, bringing Emma to tears when he said that he loved Henry. He hadn't had a discussion with her yet about how he pictured Henry like a son; he was saving that for a later date.

"Thanks love. Ready to move all those boxes in?" he questioned. Turning around to take her in. She was wearing shorts and a tank top – her hair piled on top of her head in a messy bun. Her rarely used running shoes were being put to use today. She was a vision; even dressed down like she was, she could stop him in his tracks.

"I guess." She signed. She had done all the moving yesterday. He hated that he couldn't help her, but an emergency came up at work then he had to work on Henry's room.

"Well, the sooner we get it done, the sooner we can leave." he mentioned. He couldn't wait to start their journey.

* * *

It had only taken them two hours to move everything in the rental truck inside. They each had a suitcase, which they placed in the car, but everything else was moved into its new room. He was surprised with the amount of boxes they had. He had expected each of them to come with two dozen boxes, but surprisingly they each had less than 10 boxes. Emma's furniture from the Locksley house was going into storage, so thankfully the move went quite well. The heaviest of boxes belonged to Henry and contained his books.

The drive to the Eastern Shore took four hours thanks to traffic. The kids had slept most of the way. Emma claimed Henry was tired since he was up half the night, excited for the move. She said he triple checked his room to make sure he had everything. He was also up because Roland wanted to spend one last night in Henry's room. Killian told her Lily was the same: up half the night preparing her room and Henry's, making sure everything was in place. As Emma drove, Killian held her hand over the center console.

The house they would be staying in over the weekend was cozy. It was a little cottage on stilts that only have two bedrooms, a bathroom, a kitchen and small living room. While he loved his large house that he now shared with Emma and Henry; there was something about this cottage that spoke to him.

They moved their luggage inside, showing Henry and Lily their room - which had bunk beds. Thankfully they didn't fight for the top or bottom bunk. The kids just looked at each other and nodded, no words passing between them, then headed to their spots - Henry on the bottom bunk and Lily on the top. It baffled him how close the two were already and how they just understood each other. Emma moved into their room, which had a wonderful view of the ocean.

"What do you think love?" he asked as he moved to set their luggage down on the bed. He knew they wouldn't be unpacking the luggage. When they were younger and would travel around during the summer, Emma never unpacked her suitcase - always leaving her items inside. She claimed it wasted precious memory time - why should she bother to unpack and repack her bag when she could be spending time with her friends and family instead.

"It's perfect Killian. Thank you," she said, turning around to hug him. She brushed a quick kiss across his lips. Hunger grew within him, any touch; any kiss from her set him ablaze. He pulled her back towards him, pressing his lips to hers. Desire passed through the kiss - his lips demanding she open to him. He sighed when she parted her lips and deepened the kiss. He could hear the kids in the next room, Henry telling Lily about their new school and the sports he planned on playing this year. He knew they only had precious seconds before the kids would bore of their conversation and come looking for them. He pulled himself back, silently promising that he would pick this up later that night while they lay in each other's embrace.

He heard Emma huff when he pulled away. Looking down at her, he say her lips pursed into a frown, the look of disappointment spread across her face. He chuckled at her.

"Sorry my love, but if I continued, we would have to send our kids to therapy for the rest of their lives." he winked. "I promise that we will finish what was started later."

"You better." she warned, but said with a smile.

* * *

Friday night was spent at the carnival in town. Lily wanted to play the carnival games, while Henry wanted to ride on all the rides, even though Emma said he would definitely get sick if he rode the Tilt-a-Whirl. Henry protested when Emma said he could ride the rides but only if he didn't pig out on snacks beforehand.

"Mom, come on. I promise I won't get sick." he whined.

"Henry, I said no. You can eat after you go on the rides," she said sternly.

"Killian, tell mom I won't get sick." he said, turning to the man.

"Lad, I am not sure that I can say that. You need to listen to your mother, she knows best," he said, looking down at the boy, who was now clearly disappointed with both of them.

"She's just worried because she remembers the last time I went on the Tilt-a-whirl." he pouted.

"Well you did eat a large slice of pizza right before the ride and then proceeded to throw up all over your clothes. I am not cleaning up vomit this weekend Henry. I said you could go on it, but only if you wait to eat till afterwards." she explained. Killian stifled a laugh, catching Henry's eyes.

"Fine." he said, annoyed that they had worked together to not allow him to pig out before the ride. "But only if Killian goes on the ride with me."

"Sounds good lad, come let's go." Killian answered. Emma and Lily were going to walk around and play games while Killian and Henry would ride the rides.

Emma turned to him before he left with her lad.

"If he pukes, you're cleaning it up." she winked and walked away with Lily.

* * *

EMMA'S POV

They had played two games so far. Emma wasn't very good at the basketball game that they came to first, but when they walked to the stall next to it, and Emma saw the shooting gallery, she knew she could win the girl a prize. She had promised herself that she was going to win Lily a prize before the night ended, wanting to give her something to remember their weekend. She had stepped up to the game and proceeded to knock down each target in quick succession.

"Pick out your prize sweetie." Emma said, kneeling down so she could look Lily in the eyes. She had taken to calling Lily sweetie after their "family date". While her name was gorgeous, it just felt right calling Lily a cute nickname. Besides, she called Killian and Henry by their nicknames constantly, and she knew Lily deserved one too.

"How did you get so good?" Lily questioned.

"Well, my dad used to take me and David to the shooting range once a month when were turned thirteen. It was our bonding time with dad. One time David said that he could shoot better than me simply because he was a boy, so I started practicing twice a week at so that I could beat him. A month later, I proved David wrong - I beat him during target practice. Since then, I try to go shooting once a month." she explained. David was still a sore loser over that - and to this day Emma was proud to say that she could still outshoot him.

"That is so cool!" Lily exclaimed. "Do you think you could teach me sometime?"

"I'll ask Killian, but I don't see why not." Emma said.

"Why do you need to ask Killian?" Lily questioned.

"Well, he is your parent, so he gets to decide what you can and cannot do." she tried to explain, but the whole time Lily had a look of confusion on her face.

"But aren't you going to be my parent too? Aren't you going to marry my dad?" Emma's eyes widened at Lily's questioning. She didn't know where to begin.

Did Lily really just ask if Emma was going to be her parent? She knew that the little girl looked up to her and was excited to have her move in, but she never thought the girl would want Emma to be her parent. Didn't Killian explain to her their relationship? _Shit, we didn't really have a discussion with them about what the whole move means for them_. How could she be so stupid? Lily was probably just as confused about where they all stood as Henry was. But that wasn't the only thing that made Emma stop in her tracks.

Did Lily really just call Killian her dad? The look on the little girl's face told her all she needed to know. Lily truly saw Killian as her father, wanted so desperately for him to be her father, for him to love her like a daughter. But, if Killian was her father, would take make Emma her mother? She did just ask if Emma was going to marry Killian. The question scared her a bit. She had no clue on what to say or do.

"Lily, I'm not really sure what to say. Killian and I are going to be a team when it comes to you and Henry. We aren't going to make decisions on what you all should do and not do together. I know us moving in had been a bit confusing to you both, and I'm sorry." she said. She wasn't quite sure how to answer Lily's questions. But she knew she needed more information. "Lily, why did you call Killian dad?"

Lily looked down at the ground, her face fallen, with a glisten in her eyes.

"That's what I want him to be." she whispered. It broke Emma's heart to see her so sad. She moved to pull the girl into a tight hug. She heard the faint sounds of sniffles as the little girl's arms came to circle around her. "I want to be able to call him dad, I want to be able to tell people he is my father. He has always taken care of me, I just want him to know how much I love him."

"Oh sweetie," Emma sighed, pushing the girl back a bit so that she could look into her eyes, "he knows you love him, he knows how much you appreciate him, I know he does. He loves you very much. You are such a special little girl, and you have been given such a great big brother. Does he know you want to call him dad?"

"No." she said in a low voice.

"Well, I think you should tell him." Emma said. She was also planning on talking with Killian about it. She knew Killian hadn't wanted Lily to call him dad simply because he didn't want the girl confused about anything. Yet, she could see it in his eyes, that he just wanted Lily to be happy. While she was his sister, Emma knew Killian did see Lily as his daughter, and that he was just afraid to admit it.

"Thank you Emma." Lily said, moving back in to hug her. She stayed in Emma's arms for what seemed like hours. When she finally pulled back, she looked right at Emma.

"I love you Emma." Lily confessed. Emma could see the love in Lily's eyes. She could see just how much the little girl adored her. She hadn't spent much time with Lily, but she did love her. Maybe it was because of Killian, or maybe it was because she had a motherly instinct, but she loved that little girl fiercely already.

"I love you too," she confessed.

"But you didn't answer my question." Lily said after a beat. Emma stood up and took Lily's outstretched hand. They began walking again, this time towards the dunking booth that was being run by the local fire department.

"Which question sweetie?" Emma responded.

"Are you going to marry my dad?" Lily said, looking up into Emma's eyes. Emma didn't have an answer for her she was stunned silent.

"Lily, I don't know how to answer that question." Emma confessed again.

"I know he hasn't asked you. But just so you know, I would be OK with it. In fact, I would love it. Then we could all be a real family: you could be my mom!" She exclaimed, and without missing a beat, ran towards the dunking booth with her tickets in hand, leaving Emma rooted in her spot. Speechless.

* * *

HENRY'S POV

He was proud of himself: he didn't get sick on the Tilt-A-Whirl. Killian however, looked green. He laughed at him. Sure, they had some issues a few weeks ago when he threw out his pop tarts, but since then, he had gotten closer to him. But even though they were close now, didn't mean that Henry would stop laughing at him.

The pop tart incident wasn't part of Operation Cygnus. In fact, Lily was angry with him over it, saying that it could have ruined everything. She was right. He could have pushed Killian away from his mom, all because he was worried that Killian was going to punish him. He knew he was stupid in thinking that, but he couldn't help it.

After the incident was over, and Henry apologized to Killian and told him he loved him, Henry and Lily decided that they needed to step up their game with Operation Cygnus. Sure, they had gotten their parents to move in together, but there was still more to be done. Lily still had to get Killian to answer to dad, and Henry had to make sure that his mom wouldn't run off scared.

Lily and Henry spent a lot of time trying to decide what they wanted out of Operation Cygnus. It was originally just a plan to get their parents happy - to make them stay together. However, with their parents moved in, they weren't sure where to go next. That was until one brainstorming session where Lily asked if Henry thought their parents would get married. Lily had mentioned that she always wanted a mother, and that Emma was the perfect one. Henry agreed, he always wanted a dad, and Killian would make a pretty cool dad. It would also make things easier around the house - if Killian was his stepdad, he wouldn't have to wait for his mom's approval to do something, because Killian could decide. It was that day they decided that their parents had to get married - that they wanted a mom and a dad.

Their plan was simple. Get them alone and tell them what they wanted. They needed to push their parents just a bit, forcing them to see what was right in front of them. Henry was going to talk to Killian about him becoming his dad and Lily was going to tell Emma she wanted her to be her mom.

A text buzzed on his phone. They were waiting in line for the fun house. Killian was looking around, people watching. Henry looked at the others in the line. Many of the parents were on their phones, but not Killian. No, he wouldn't even take his phone out of his pocket.

**LILY: I spoke to Emma about marrying my dad. I also spoke to her about me calling him dad. She said I should talk to him.**

**HENRY: I told you that weeks ago.**

**LILY: I know. I'm just scared. What if he doesn't want me to?**

**HENRY: Don't worry. He won't say that. But, what did my mom say?**

**LILY: She said she couldn't answer that question, but her face got all weird. She was smiling, but was confused. I think she wants to but is scared.**

**HENRY: Sounds like her.**

"Who you texting lad?" Killian questioned, looking down at him. He didn't realize Killian had stopped looking around. He didn't want him finding out about the plan.

"No one." he lied.

"Ok lad, but remember that phone is for emergencies only." Henry rolled his eyes at him. _He's such a dad._ If Killian had told him that a few weeks ago, Henry would have snapped. But today, he just nodded and put the phone away.

"Sorry." he said.

"Aye. It's OK lad. I won't tell your mother." he winked. Henry laughed.

"Killian, can I ask you something." Henry questioned. This was all part of the plan. Lily was going to ask Emma about marrying her dad and Henry was going to ask Killian about marrying his mother.

"Sure, what is it?" Killian responded.

"Are you going to marry mom?" Henry said. He didn't mean for the question to come out in a whisper. It wasn't like he was trying to hide something. Maybe he was worried that Killian wouldn't want to marry his mom. Maybe he was worried about his mom being nearby and hearing.

"I'm not really sure how to answer that Henry." Killian replied, bending down to look the boy in the eyes. Killian was really tall, but he had never knelt down to talk to him before. "I love you and your mom very much. In fact, I love your mom more than anything else in the world. You know that right?"

Henry nodded his head. He knew Killian loved them, that he would do anything for them.

"Good. Someday lad, yes, I want to marry your mother. I want us to be a real family, I am just not sure when that will be." he confessed. Henry could see some disappointment in Killian's eyes.

"Good. I want that too. I want us all to be a real family. I want you to be my dad." Henry said, turning from the stunned Killian to move forward in the line.

* * *

KILLIAN'S POV

_Holy shit_. Was all he was able to think. He was glad he didn't say it out loud. Did Henry really just say he wanted him to be his father? The boy turned so quickly after he announced it, Killian couldn't be sure he was hearing things correctly.

He would be lying to himself if he said he didn't want that. There was still that piece of him that wished he never had left ten years ago, because maybe then, Henry would truly be his. He had seen the boy as his son for a while now. Unwilling to confess that anyone though, he didn't want to jinx it. He had also been planning on asking Emma to marry him. He had been planning that since their second date. He needed her to be his wife; he needed her by his side always. But, he remembered how scared she had been when he asked her to move in. If that were too soon in her mind, then wouldn't a proposal be way too soon?

He didn't say anything more as they moved through the fun house. After the fun house they walked around the park, getting on ride after ride. By the time they finished the mini roller coaster, it was close to eight o'clock Thankfully they found the girls pretty easily - Emma was holding a few stuffed animals and Lily was holding her free hand. Lily looked dead on her feet - tired from the long day. He looked over at Henry, who was also showing the same defeated look. They decided it was time for them to go home, so they could be up early in the morning for pony swim. He took the toys from Emma, and wrapped his free arm around her.

"Good day love?" he questioned.

"The best." she said, smiling up at him.


	20. Chapter 20

KILLIAN'S POV

The rest of the weekend went swimmingly. Saturday morning was spent watching the ponies swim to shore and walking around the small town they were staying in. In the afternoon, Emma took Lily shopping. They were going to cook out tonight, so they went to get supplies. Henry stayed behind to help him set up the grill and get the back porch ready for their dinner. He hadn't told Emma about Henry's revelation from the previous night. He could tell something was up with Emma: she was happy, and she was enjoying her time, but there was something that she wasn't telling him.

He had planned to tell Emma about Henry's confession, but he was also scared that it may frighten her a bit. She was hesitant to move in with them so quick. He knew she was happy about her decision to move in, but he also knew she was worried about what it would mean. He was going to leave the ball in her court. Emma would be the one to determine the rest of the relationship. He wasn't going to spring any new information on her unless he knew it was what she would want.

Killian thought to himself that maybe waiting a while to tell Emma about Henry's statement would be good. It would give her time to be used to everyone living together, time to adjust to their new lives, and time for her to see that everything would be OK.

He told Henry that he wanted to marry his mother sometime in the future, and he wasn't lying when he said he didn't know when that would be. However, he did already have a ring to present to her when the time came. It was the ring his mother used to wear. It was simple, yet beautiful. He used to hide it in his dresser next to the album of pictures he kept of her, but now that they were together, now that she had moved in, he moved it to the library to keep it safe.

Sunday was much of the same, except this time they spent it together as a family. Emma drove them to the beach where they spent the day lounging around and playing in the water. Henry and Lily spent most of their time splashing about, riding boogie boards in the waves. Huge smiles plastered across their faces. Lily had never been to the beach before - so this day was extra special to her. Before they had run into the waves, Emma made everyone stand around her to take a picture. Her arms wrapped around Henry from behind, while Killian's arms did the same to Lily. The picture was almost as good as the one from the Fourth of July. His family was perfect.

The kids didn't want to leave once two o'clock came around, but everyone knew if they didn't get on the road soon, it would take forever to make it back home, and they still had to unpack all the boxes that were waiting for them. Sure, most of the unpacking would happen the next day, but it was better to get started early. He could already see the annoyance in the kids' faces as they thought about waking up early to unpack. Killian swung his arm around Henry and walked the boy to the car while Lily held Emma's hand and skipped her way up the beach.

Thankfully the next morning wasn't as bad as the kids had thought. Killian let everyone sleep in till eight, which was late for them. He had woke early at Emma's touch. It had been a few days since they were able to actually do anything. She had worked all week before the move and then their weekend trip happened. He was glad he got to spend time with them as a family, but he silently wished that the house they rented had thicker walls. When they got back to their room on Friday, Emma was exhausted from the day and fell asleep soon after her head hit the pillow. Saturday night was spent just wrapped in each other's arms, with light kisses being passed. It was actually quite a wonderful night.

They had carried the kids inside, as they fell asleep during their long car ride. Traffic was bad, so the ride took six hours instead of three. They had stopped about half way home to eat dinner, and once the kids were back in the car they fell asleep. Killian thought that each moment they were spending together was making them more of a family, and watching the kids in the back seat of their car for the drive cemented that idea in him. It was in that moment that he knew he needed to propose to Emma soon. He couldn't wait anymore. However, once they were back in the confines of their room, Killian couldn't keep his hands off of her.

She had barley walked into their room before his hands went around her waist. She relaxed into his body, resting her head on his shoulder. She fit perfectly into him. Her eyes were closed and her hair framed her face. He loved it when she wore her hair down, and he especially loved it today. She had washed off the sea before they got into the car, yet her hair still held some scent of salt. She smelled like the sea and it pulled him to her. He kissed her neck, softly at first, just reacquainting himself to her body. Sure they had spent the weekend kissing and touching, but somehow this was different. Maybe it was because tonight they would be truly a family. Her boxes lining the walls and stacked on the floor.

She twirled around, finding his lips with hers. The kiss was desperate, like she needed him to breathe. He heard a growl escape his throat. He hadn't meant to, but her hunger and desire was pulling his out. She needed him in a way that was primal, and he felt the same. He needed to be with her, to have her, to keep her always. His tongue danced across hers, and her hands came to caress his back. He could feel her fingernails running against his skins, as she moved his shirt up and over his head. He hated to break the kiss even for the second it took her to remove his shirt. She quickly removed hers, falling back to his lips. Her skin was more tanned than it had been a few days ago, the late summer sun bringing out the freckles that sprinkled her shoulders. Sometimes he would lie awake at night and trace patterns using her freckles, drawing constellations on her body.

She hooked her thumbs through his jeans and pulled him back with her till they were at the edge of their bed. _Their bed, their room, their home, and their kids- everything was perfect. They were finally home, and not just the house_ \- he thought to himself as he laid her back on the bed and climbed over her. His hands roamed her body, as his lips continued their invasion of her body. He was kissing her neck, her shoulders, her chest, and her stomach: anywhere he could reach. She moved her hands from his back to unbuckle his jeans. Once his jeans were undone, she pushed them down and off his legs, moving his boxers with them.

He sat up so he could strip her naked. She was lying down, giving him a glorious view of her body as he removed her pants and underwear. While he adored the bra she was wearing, the white color making her skin stand out more, he wanted to see all of her. He moved above her again, coming up to reach her face. He kissed her slowly this time, savoring every moment, every movement. She was moaning beneath him, clawing his back. She was pulling him closer to her. He could feel the heat radiating off her body,

He sat up and moved her so she was lying in the center of the bed. He moved down her body and not soon enough he was at the apex of her thighs, pushing her legs open so he could taste her.

"Oh gods" escaped her mouth as he began to lick her clit. She moaned beneath him, her hands gripping the bedspread in pleasure. He tasted her, his hands gripping her waist as his tongue moved over her. He could feel her rising up, her want and need for him growing with each passing moment. He knew she would need more, and he lived for those moments, where he could bring her to her climax, where he could give her just what she needed.

Slowly he moved his hands down from her waist and down the front of her legs. She was panting with need, her silent begging calling to him. He could tell just from her breath that she needed more. He inserted one lone finger into her wanting core, her walls pulling him farther in. She cried out in bliss, "fuck!" as her body rose up a bit and back down, arching her back and pushing her head back. He smiled against her, letting his beard brush against her sensitive nub. He moved his finger inside of her, slowly pulsing and curling it. He added one more, not fully filling her, but teasing her.

His tongue moved back to her, flicking her clit and creating small circles over the nub. He could tell she was close, her quiet moans and words of begging escaping her mouth. Her hands had moved to his head, pulling his hair slightly, pulling him closer to her core. He moved his other hand, one that was rubbing designs into her skin, to her clit, joining forces with his tongue. Within a few moments he had her falling, with his name on her lips. She wasn't loud tonight, but his name rang out through room. It was a sound that he would never tire of hearing. He slowly brought her down from her high, moving up her body, pressing kisses into her skin. When he reached her breasts he flicked each nipple, making her shudder. When his lips met hers, he was pulled down so he was flushed against her.

Without warning she reached down to grab a hold of his erection. She slowly moved her hand up and down the shaft before placing it at her wanting entrance. He could feel her rubbing him so he was covered in her wetness. She moved so that she took him in her swiftly. He groaned out as he glided easily into her.

"Bloody hell Emma" he growled out. He looked down at the woman he loved and all he could see was bliss. She had a little smirk on her face; she knew exactly what to do to him. Her hips began to circle, as he thrust into her. Her hands reached down play with herself as he continued to pull in and out. Her walls squeezing him as he went. But the sensation wasn't enough for him. He needed to be deeper, to be flushed against her body, to feel the heat of her pleasure. He was on his knees, and he reached down to pull her up, so she was sitting on his lap. He was buried inside of her now.

"Killian, please." was all he heard from her as he steadied them on the bed. He began to move, slowly pushing his hips upwards, as she swirled her hips around him. Her lips found his and a moan escaped him. He could feel her hardened nipples against his chest. His hands were wrapped around her, one underneath her ass and the other behind her back. He nipped at her bottom lip.

"Let go love, let me see you fall." he whispered in her ear. With one hard thrust up she was falling again, head thrown back in pleasure. Her moans pulling him with her. He came hard inside of her, his hand moving from her back to pull her towards him. He captures her lips as he finished. Her forehead came to rest on his. Their heavy breathing was the only sound filling the room.

"I love you." he heard her whisper.

"I know." he said back as he moved out of her. "How about I run us a bath?"

"Mmm" was all that escaped her lips, she was clearly sated from their activity.

The rest of the night was spent in each other's arms. They sat in the large tub until the water was cold, simply holding each other. When Killian finally fell asleep, he was wrapped around the beauty that was his true love, the woman he would one day marry - and he hoped that day would come soon.

EMMA'S POV

She hated returning from their weekend retreat, but it was time to officially move in. Robin and Regina, along with Roland, would be moving in as well. The guesthouse had been prepared so all that was left to do was get their boxes inside. The week was going to drag by slowly - Emma returned to work Monday night, working a thirty-six hour shift, leaving Killian and Henry to do most of the unpacking. She wouldn't return until Wednesday morning. This was all part of her new contract. Once a month - the second week in the month, she would work a long shift, covering the ER as the pediatric attending. She would then have Wednesday off to recover, and work Thursday and Friday. It also gave her Monday mornings to prepare for her long shift.

She was used to these long shifts, having done many forty-eight hour shifts her first year as an intern. She rarely saw Henry that year, but it was worth it so she could provide for him. While she had the support of her family and friends, being able to support him on her own, to provide him the life he deserved meant everything to her. This time however, things were different. Henry wasn't little anymore; when she was an intern he was in preschool, and didn't really notice her absences. She also was living with Regina and Robin, who were raising Roland, so Henry always had a playmate. Now, she was living with Killian and Lily, and Henry was older. It made things easier, but more difficult at the same time. At least it was only for one year, then she would be a senior attending and not have to work any overnight shifts unless she wanted to.

She said goodbye to her family on Monday night, Lily giving her a huge hug before she left. The little girl experiencing Emma's departure for the first time.

"I'll miss you." Lily whispered as she hugged Emma.

"I'll miss you too sweetie." Emma replied, kissing the girl's head. "Listen to your dad, and be good with Henry. Keep our boys in line."

Emma hadn't had the chance to talk with Killian about Lily's confession, but she knew she would need to soon. But since their conversation at the festival, Emma had taken to calling Killian her dad when the two were alone. She could see the happiness in the girl's face when she did it. She could tell how much it meant to Lily that Emma supported her decision and was behind her.

Henry came up next, hugging Emma quickly so that he could return to his game that he was playing with Killian. He had done this routine countless times, so Emma's leaving wasn't new to him.

When Killian approached, she almost started to cry. She hated leaving him for so long - fear trickling back into her system. Fear that he would leave, fear that he wouldn't be able to handle her absences and her work schedule, fear that he would resent her over her job. He smiled at her, nothing but love and admiration on his face. He came to her, pulling her into his embrace. She sighed against his chest, breathing in deep. She could feel him running his fingers through her hair.

"Have a good time at work love, be safe. We love you," he said, pulling her chin up to meet his lips in a kiss.

She savored the kiss, as it was the last one she would be getting for a while. Killian had offered to bring the kids by the next day for lunch, but she refused. He needed to get back to work soon, so she wanted him to focus on unpacking so their lives could return to normal soon. She also knew that she wouldn't be in the best of moods if he met her for lunch. She was always a bitch during these long shifts, from the lack of sleep and too much caffeine.

"I'll miss you." she said, pulling back, grabbing her bag that she had prepared. It contained her normal items - scrubs, a pair of clean clothes, extra socks and shoes, clean underwear; but it also contained a framed picture of them, the one they took on the Fourth of July. She was going to place it in her cubby at work, a permanent reminder of what she had to look forward to when her shift ended.

"My love, I'll miss you too. I love you," he said, giving her one last kiss.

The weeks had passed since their retreat to the Eastern Shore; weeks since Emma worked the shift from hell, weeks since all of their boxes were unpacked. After her shift, things had returned to normal. Killian had unpacked everything by Wednesday morning, and returned to work at the same time she was getting home from work. The kids were going to spend the day with Ruby and Graham - heading down to Kings Dominion for a day of thrills and adventures. Emma wished she could have gone with them, but she needed sleep. Her new phone background though was one of Henry and Lily sitting in the front seat of a roller coaster, huge smiles on their faces, hands waving in the air.

Time passed quickly, and soon it was time for their adventure to the Outer Banks. She was surprised when Doctor Capshaw gave Emma the time off. She claimed Emma deserved it - so here she was, waiting on the dock that belonged to her home, handing Killian their luggage. They would be gone for eleven days. They would take three days to coast down to the house Killian had rented, spend five days with their friends, then track back up the coast just in time for school to start.

It was almost ten years to the day that Killian had promised Emma they would make this trip. It brought tears to her eyes when she thought of all that they had been through. It wasn't that long ago that she was a broken woman, never allowing love into her life, never allowing anyone to get close to her again, afraid of disappointment and abandonment. Then Killian reappeared, and repaired the pieces of her broken heart. They were a family now, and no matter what happened in the future, they would face the issues together. They could weather any storm.

She couldn't believe she had been scared of trusting him again, scared that their relationship was moving too fast. She had known him forever, and even though he hurt her, he never stopped loving her, never stopped caring. He wasn't the same man she knew in high school; while he still had the same goofy grin and same caring spirit, he was more confident, more forward. As she looked at him she couldn't believe she took so long to be with him.

His muscles were straining under his tight shirt - a navy blue that brought out the red in his beard. He was wearing swim trunks as his pants, allowing his legs to show. She never thought legs were sexy until she saw his.

"Are you OK love?" he questioned, moving back towards her. He was setting the luggage down near bow of the boat. Henry and Lily had begged to sleep on the deck, underneath the stars. After Killian finally convinced her that it would be safe, she conceded. However, she already set an alarm on her phone at two hour increments to make sure the kids would be all right during the night. They had planned on stopping each night, docking near marinas, but she still wanted to make sure they were safe. In a very short time, Emma had come to see Lily as her own. Yes, it surprised her when Lily said she would love to have Emma as her mother, but at the same time, it warmed her heart. One day, she hoped, she would be hers. Deep down in Emma's heart, she wanted them to be a family - and not just a family in their minds, but a family on paper. It was another thing she wanted to talk to Killian about.

"Yeah." she said, but Killian didn't let that slide. He cocked his head to the side, and gave her a small nod, which meant for her to continue in her explanation. "I was just thinking about where we were a few months ago, how even though I thought I was happy, there was something missing. I was thinking about how much you care about me, and Henry. About how much we care about you and Lily. I'm just really happy Killian. You've made me really happy."

He climbed down from his position on the boat, coming over to wrap her in his arms. The smile that was on his face, made everything worth it. All the time spent apart, all the hardships they had to go through, all the obstacles they had to overcome - it was all worth it just to be in his arms again. In fact, she would do it all over again, as long as she ended up with him.

"My love, you have made me so happy. You and Henry have brought joy into not just my life, but Lily's as well. We might have been content, but we were never as happy as we are with you." he said, leaning down to plant a kiss. The kiss was filled with love and passion - expressing their joy better than words could. He pulled back all too soon, knowing that any moment the kids would come barreling down from the house, ready to set sail. And she was ready too; ready to start their next big adventure together.

"Rise and shine love." Killian said, as he planted a kiss to her forehead and sat a cup of coffee down next to the bed they shared. They had arrived yesterday, and Emma was immediately thankful for a real bed. The boat had a bed in the cabin, but it was nothing compared to the one she was sleeping on now. The bed on the boat felt like hard rocks compared to this one. The second she laid down last night, she fell into a deep sleep. The fear that something might happen to the kids on the ship, added with the horrible support of the bed, Emma didn't get much sleep on their journey. Yet, the smiles on their kids' faces and the gorgeous sunsets and sunrises she got to experience well made up for it.

The first day Henry helped Killian navigate them down towards the Eastern Shore. It was a hot day, temperatures in the upper ninety's, so Lily and Emma stayed below deck, playing card games and watching movies on the portable DVD player Henry was smart enough to bring. But once the sun began to set, they moved back on deck, to enjoy the show. The second day went about the same, except Lily stayed above deck to help out, as they were in the open sea this time. Emma was up before the dawn, checking on the kids, and was able to witness the most beautiful sunrise she had ever seen. Killian had joined her on deck to watch the sun move through the sky, his arms holding her against him. It was chilly, and the heat radiating off his body kept her warm. They still had some time before the kids would wake up, so they took advantage of it. Killian led her back into their cabin and made love to her, as the boat swayed in the water. Even though they knew the kids would be waking soon, he went slow and took his time, keeping in time with the waves.

On the third day, after another round of love making after the sunrise, they pulled up to the dock that belonged to their rented home. She was almost sad to be leaving the boat, as sex there had become her favorite, but the thought of a real bed and a real house trumped any sadness. Lily and Killian worked to dock them, while Henry stayed with his mom near the table where they had just eaten lunch. They arrived early, the rest of the group not getting in until closer to seven. Henry already had a bit of sunburn from spending so much time on the water. Lily's skin had reddened a bit, her freckles becoming more and more prominent, similar to Emma's. Even thought she was Killian's sister, Emma thought she looked more like her every day. Lily had picked up on many of Emma's mannerisms, copying them. Killian had mentioned he now had a mini version of Emma running around the house when she was gone.

"Go away." Emma mumbled from under the covers. She did not want to wake up, did not want to start the day. She was too comfortable.

"I'm sorry love, but we need to get going, I have something to show you," he said, pulling the blankets off her.

She sat up reluctantly. She was pissed she had to wake up early, but at the same time intrigued. Killian hadn't mentioned anything special about today. Lily had asked them last night what their plans were for today, and he didn't say anything. What did he have to show her? Her interest was sparked, simply because the last time he had to show her something, it was the home he bought for them to be a family in.

She changed into a pink dress. It was a t-shirt dress, the only type of dress Emma liked to wear. It was light enough she wouldn't get hot in it, but sexy enough to darken Killian's eyes when he saw her in it. He was dress in khaki shorts and her favorite navy blue shirt. He took her hand as she told him she was ready, and he led her down to the dock.

"Where are we going Killian?" she questioned.

"I have something to show you." he answered, not giving anything away.

"What about the kids?" he looked at her with a smile.

"They are going to spend the day with Mary Margaret and David at the beach. We'll be back soon. I wouldn't be surprised if we are back before they even wake up," he said, looking at his watch. Emma hadn't noticed the time it was only six AM. The sun was rising over the water, casting gorgeous colors into the dawn sky. No wonder she didn't want to get up.

"Why the hell are we up so early?" she questioned, not happy about the hour. He just laughed at her.

"We have to get to our destination early, or we will miss the surprise. And don't worry, I have coffee ready for you." he replied, pointing to the two mugs that were sitting next to the wheel of the boat.

Once aboard the ship, and once Emma had downed the entire thermos in one sip, they set off. It took them about thirty minutes to reach their destination. They were staying near Hatteras, and their destination was Ocracoke. Thankfully they weren't using the sails of the boat, but letting the engine do the work. They were in the sound, and off in the distance she could see the wild ponies of the island, reminding her of the weekend they spent together - their first trip as a family. Her bad mood suddenly disappeared, replaced with joy and happiness. Killian dropped anchor and came to stand with her. She was in awe of the ponies. They were living in the reserve, with a fence surrounding them so they couldn't enter the water, but it was still amazing to see them. No wonder they had to leave early. Emma had heard from Mary Margaret that the ponies could only be seen from the water in the early morning, before they were wrangled and taken over to the area that those driving through could see.

She turned around to face Killian, to thank him for the surprise, to thank him for everything. She let out a gasp at the sight that was before her.

Killian was kneeling down on one knee. His hands came up to grab her left hand. Her right hand was covering her mouth. He had a grin on his face, that stupid grin he always gets when he knows he has surprised her.

"Emma, love, these past three months have changed my life forever. I never imagined after I ran away all those years ago, after I broke your heart that I would get another chance to be in your life. I dreamt of it for years, that one day you would be mine, and I would be yours. I dreamt of holding you in my arms, of spending every moment we could together. I never thought my dream would come true, yet here you are. You are my dream come true. You have made my life better, fuller, complete. You have taken Lily into your heart and home, made her feel special and wanted. You and Henry have completed our family. Now that my dream has come true, I promise you that I will fight for us each and every second of every day, I will never willingly leave you again, I will protect you and Henry with my last breath. I will take each and every moment I have with you and use it to show you just what your love means to me, and just how much I love and adore you. Emma Swan - will you marry me?" he finished; his voice filled with emotion.

She didn't realize she had started to cry, but it wasn't a sadness that was filing her. She felt a range of emotions - love, joy, bliss, and finally, one emotion that had haunted her for a while, one she never thought she would ever feel after his absence - unaided and true happiness.

"Yes." she whispered, looking down at the ring he had taken out of his pocket. She knew the ring well. Once she fully took it in, her tears came faster. Killian was giving her his mother's ring; the ring he always told her would belong to his one true love some day. It was the ring she had envisioned wearing when she dreamt of her future in high school. "Yes Killian, I will marry you." she said louder, allowing him to slip the ring onto her finger.

Once the ring was in place, where it belonged, she pulled him up from his knee and brought him to her lips. Her tears blending in with her kiss. She didn't realize it at first, but he was crying too - she could feel the wetness on his cheek as she caressed it. The kiss they shared once she said yes, was different than all the rest they had shared. Every single drop of love and passion they shared for each other was put into that kiss. It was a kiss that would be seared into Emma's mind for the rest of her life. And now, she couldn't wait for that life to begin.

KILLIAN'S POV

_One month prior_

_He knew he needed to talk with Henry about his epiphany. Thankfully, Emma had a tight schedule the next few days. He hated that she would be gone for thirty-six hours, but it gave him time to talk to Henry alone, gave him time to work out a plan. He needed to propose to Emma, he needed to spend the rest of his life with her and her son. He needed all of them to be a family._

_Once Emma left for the night, he went back to playing a video game with Henry. They were playing the newest Call of Duty. Killian was terrible at it, but he enjoyed the time he got to spend with the lad. The lad that one day would be his son. Lily was up in her room, probably reading a book. Lily loved Emma like she was her actual mother, but he also knew she had a special bond with Belle, since the woman always seemed to buy her a book whenever they were out together._

_Once they had finished the campaign they were working on, he asked Henry if he wouldn't mind taking a break. He yelled for Lily to come downstairs. This decision needed the approval of both children._

"_What's up?" Lily questioned as she breezed into the room. She looked more and more like him every day. Killian had seen a picture of Lily's mother before, and somehow the girl looked nothing like her mother. Instead, she took after her father, just like Killian had. The only real difference was their eyes._

"_Have a seat little love, I have something I want to ask you both," he said, moving so that he was positioned in front of them. Lily and Henry glanced at each other, a silent conversation passing between them. Lily then turned back to him with a huge smile on her face._

"_You want to marry Emma?" she asked, before he even had a chance to say anything else._

"_Yes, wait, how did you know?" he responded._

"_We could just tell. Besides, we have been working together to get you and my mom together for a while." Henry confessed. "We called it Operation Cygnus, and at first it was just to get you two to be together, to make my mom and you happy. Then once you were together, we decided you two needed to stay together. Then it became a mission to get you two married."_

"_What?" he said, in disbelief. He was in awe of the two of them. They had been playing them the whole time._

"_We wanted to be a family Killian, we wanted to be a real family." Lily confessed._

"_Yeah, Lily wanted a mom and I wanted a dad, and I know my mom. She loves you, but she is always so scared of what may happen. I knew we had to push you two to this point." Henry said._

"_Well than lad, what should our plan be now?" he laughed, hoping to have their opinions on the proposal._

She had said yes. His Swan, was now his fiancée. They were going to be a real family. He was actually getting his dream come true. He was getting his happy ending. When he left all those years ago, he never thought he would be in this position right now. He never thought he would get Emma back. He was crying by the time she pulled him to her. Tears spilling from her eyes as she kissed him.

He picked her up, and walked her down to their cabin. His future wife began to giggle as he struggled to open the tiny door and lay them on the bed. He didn't want to let her go, he wanted to hold her in his arms, but the small space made him. He moved as fast as he could so that she could be in his arms once again.

"You've made me the happiest man on earth love." he said, as he bent over her. He looked down at her hands, as they came to grasp his shirt. The ring he gave her sparking against the sunlight that was now streaming through their porthole.

"And you've made me the happiest woman on earth." she said, reaching up to take his lips.

He moved lower, so she wouldn't have to strain herself. They had made love in this bed twice, yet it felt like the first time he was having her. He put everything he was feeling into each touch. His hands felt electric as they ran over her skin. Her hands came to wrap around his waist, pulling his shirt upwards towards his head. They both sat up for a second and removed their shirts. Thankfully, it left Emma in just her underwear. She was a bloody sight to see - pale pink lace covered her body.

"You are wearing too many clothes," she hissed, pushing him back off the bed.

He stood up at the foot of the bed, and proceeded to take off his pants. Emma sat up on her knees and shuffled to the edge of the bed. Once his shorts were off, she pulled him closer to her, planting kisses along his chest. As she worked her way up his body, she stood up so she was next to him. She circled around him, moving him with her so his back now faced the bed. With one last searing kiss, she pushed him on the bed, bending down to her knees. She moved quickly, removing him from his boxers, and taking his erection in her mouth.

She stroked him with her hand and she worked him with her mouth. Her tongue circling his head. He wouldn't be able to last if she continued going like this, and there was no way in hell he wouldn't make love to her today, after she just accepted his proposal. However, he couldn't find the words to make her stop, he didn't want to. The sight that was before him was magical.

Thankfully, he didn't have to find those words, as if she knew he was close, she dragged her mouth up his shaft one last time.

"Scoot back." she demanded in a raspy voice, one that was filled with desire and want. He scooted back so that he was lying in the center of the bed, his head touching the headboard. She moved to climb over him, her hands running up and down the side of his body. The buzz coming from her touch was torture to him, but the best kind of torture he could ever wish for.

Once she was in the perfect spot, she moved against him, her wetness covering him. She was on fire, the heat from her core, radiating to his dick. She bent down to kiss him, his chest hair tickling her hardened nipples. The sounds coming from her mouth were intoxicating.

"Please love, I need you," he begged, he needed to be inside of her, he needed to make love to her.

"Take what is yours Killian," she breathed and he did. He lifted her up a bit to align himself with her wanting core. He slowly pushed into her, allowing her to fall on top of him. Each small push sending shockwaves through her body. She was clenching him so tightly. Her head was nestled into his neck, her breathing hot and heavy against him. Her hands gripped his biceps.

"Oh Gods." he heard her say, the passion dripping from her voice. He had stilled inside of her, wanting to draw this out. He made little movements, just enough to keep her on the edge.

"Killian, make love to me." she pleaded. He couldn't say no to her. He began to move, thrusting up and circling his hips. She pushed herself off on him, her hands coming to rest on his chest, fingers tangling in his chest hair. She met him with each trust, riding him, taking him deep. All too soon, he felt her come, he walls contracting, milking him, and pulling him closer to the edge.

As she came down from her orgasm, he flipped them over, so he was above her. He moved quickly, trying to find his release. Emma moved her hand down to caress her clit. She was a sight to see. Her other hand came up to grasp his shoulder and pull him towards her lips. As she started to kiss him, he could feel her circling her sensitive nub, and it was just what he needed to come.

"Fuck Emma!" he yelled, as he came. He moved his hand down to replace hers, and seconds later, had her coming again. Her eyes staring at him, making sure he saw what he did to her. Just like how she undid him with just a touch, he did the same to her.

EMMA'S POV

A few moments later, as they lay in their bed, she spoke.

"How did you come up with this?" she questioned. She had no idea he was going to propose, and had no idea why decided here and now of all the places.

"Well darling, I had a little help on that front." He confessed, a little smirk crossing his face. "I knew the day you came back into my life that I was going to marry you. I just knew that I couldn't ask you too soon. I knew how worried you were after I asked you to move in, but when I was carrying Henry inside from our trip, and I saw you carrying Lily I knew I couldn't wait any longer. I called them together and they already knew what I was going to say. Henry had the idea that I should ask you while we were on the water, saying that it always held an important spot in your heart. Lily suggested the ponies – saying it was the first time she felt like you were really a part of the family. They also confessed something to me that day. Henry said that he had always wanted a dad and Lily had always wanted a mom and that they pictured us aa those people."

"Those sly dogs," she giggled against him. Of course Henry would help Killian plan this moment. Of course he would admit that he wanted a father too. "I have a bit of a confession to make too, well, it's more of a question."

She had moved, so she was resting against him but could still see his face. He raised an eyebrow at her statement, asking her to continue. He looked so content and happy, his hair messy from their activity. It was sticking up, yet he didn't look disheveled, in fact, he looked sexy.

"Well, I was wondering if… well if you would want too…" she couldn't seem to get the words out, yet she wanted to so badly. She was a bit scared to ask him. Afraid of what he may say.

"Spit it out love." He said, needing her to continue. She didn't know what she was so afraid of.

"Would you adopt Henry?" she said, way too quickly and it was a bit garbled. She looked up at him. She was surprised by what she saw, but at the same time, not surprised at all. He was happy, a huge grin crossed his face, and his eyes sparkled with love. His mouth was opened thought, a large gasp of air being drawn into him.

"Do you mean it love?" he questioned. She actually giggled at his question. Of course she wanted him to be Henry's father.

"Of course Killian. I want us to be a true family. I want Henry to have a real father. But it leads me to the next question." She said.

"Well, if it is what you want, I would be happy to be his father. If he is OK with it of course. In fact, it would make me even happier than I am now. Truthfully, I have seen him as one of my own since the moment he walked into my life, along with you. He is a part of you, which means he is a part of me." He confessed.

She sighed a bit of relief. She didn't know why she ever worried about it. Killian loved them all, they were always meant to be a family. Even though Killian wasn't Henry's biological dad, he was always meant to be Henry's father.

"What's your other question love?" he asked.

"Well, it's about Lily actually." She started. "I know you are her guardian, but you've never adopted her." She thought back to the conversation they had one night when they first started dating. It was the same night Killian confessed to her that at times he did see Lily as his own, but he didn't quite know how he felt about Lily calling him dad. He told her that he got full guardianship of Lily a few months after his father passed, but he never thought of legally adopting her. "Well, what would you think of us both adopting her? Actually making her ours?"

"You would do that?" he questioned, a true look of surprise crossing his face.

"Of course. I love her Killian, as if she was my own, just like how you love Henry. But, that isn't the only reason. Actually, Lily talked to me while we were at the carnival. She said she wished she could call you dad. She wished you were her father. She loves you so much Killian, and all she wants is to show you how much she cares about you. She sees herself as your daughter. I know she is your sister, but think about it. Think about how much you looked up to Liam when your father left, think about how much of a father he was to you. If you were in Lily's place and Liam was in yours, wouldn't you want the same thing? She told me she wants me to be her mother, she wants Henry as her brother, and she wants you as her father. I couldn't blame her…" she was rambling. It took a finger to her lips to finally look up at him again.

"Does she really think that?" he asked, sitting up a bit, pulling her so she was directly facing him.

"Yes, she has wanted it for a long time." She said, staring directly into his eyes.

"Well then, let's get back. I think it's time we see our daughter and son." He smiled at her.

They rushed back to the house on the beach. As they pulled up to the docks, Emma saw the celebration that was waiting for them. They had been gone longer than expected. Henry and Lily were waiting for them on the dock, the rest of their friends standing on the beach, waving.

"Sorry, love. Henry couldn't help himself. He said you deserved your real happy ending – which included everyone you love here to celebrate with you." He said.

"No, don't apologize. It's perfect." She exclaimed.

As they disembarked from the boat, Henry and Lily ran into their arms; Henry into Killian's first, and Lily into hers.

"Did you say yes? Please tell me you said yes!" Lily begged.

"Of course I said yes." She said, pulling the girl back in for another hug. Once she let go, Henry moved to his mom and Lily to Killian.

"I'm so happy Killian." She said, kissing his cheek.

"Why don't you start calling me dad?" he said to her. The tears that formed in Lily's eyes had Emma crying all over again.

"Do you really mean it?" she asked, Emma could tell the little girl didn't want to get her hopes up.

"Of course little love." He said, kissing her forehead and whispering an I love you to her. He soon turned to Henry.

"We were also thinking you could do that same lad, if that was OK with you?" he said, a little hesitant. Henry was silent. There was some confusion in his eyes, but there was also something else.

"Henry…" she started, turning Henry to her, "we were thinking if you were OK with it, that Killian would adopt you, and Lily, if you are OK with it, we would both adopt you. That way we would be a real family."

Lily threw herself at Killian again, tears now freely falling down her face. Henry's eyes grew in size, as he turned to look at Killian.

"You really want to be my dad?" he asked.

"Yes lad. I love your mother and I love you." Killian responded. Henry ran into Killian's arms one more time. Lily was still in Killian's arm and Henry joined in. Emma stood back for a moment and took in the scene. Everything was becoming a reality. It was like up to this point she was in a dream. Everything that had happened had never been real. All her emotions came crashing through her body.

She walked over slowly, taking in the moment in front of her. She soon joined the hug that was happening, covering Lily's body with hers, and wrapping her arms around her two boys. This was where she was meant to be.

KILLIAN'S POV

Their friends waited patiently for them on the beach, while the family had their private moment. Later Emma would find out that Mary Margaret had taken the opportunity to snap a few pictures, sending them to Emma's phone, creating a lasting memory of the moment where they all agreed to become a family.

Once the family moved from the dock to the beach, they were met with congratulations and hugs. The girls shed more tears, each of them pulling Emma into a large hug, Emma hadn't let get of his hand through the whole ordeal. She wasn't just keeping herself grounded; she was keeping him grounded as well. He still thought he was in a dream. He still worried that he may wake up soon and realize that everything he had gotten was a farce.

He looked over to his Swan, the woman he had lost so many years ago. She was stunning, her smile lighting up her face. Her eyes sparkled with a shimmer that made diamonds look dull. She had finally let go of his hand after everyone congratulated them and the girls started to discuss the wedding. Ruby and Graham's wedding was coming up in October, and theirs would be the next one planned. He moved towards the group of men who were segregated from the girls. Emma's hand came to grip Lily's who was plastered to her side.

Henry had migrated towards him; the lad had been awfully quiet since their conversation at the dock. He was worried the boy wasn't fully happy with the situation they were now in.

" Lad, you are OK with all of this right?" Killian questioned.

"Of course, I just want my mom to be happy that's all." He said, but like his mom, Henry was a bit of an open book. He could tell that something else was bothering him.

"Henry, we promised not to lie to each other anymore. What is going on?" he prodded. "You say you are happy I am marrying your mom, and you even helped me plan this, so I don't think it is that. Was it me saying you can call me dad?"

Henry nodded. Killian knew it was what had bothered the lad. When he told Lily to start calling him that, he didn't want Henry to feel left out, so he offered too. Maybe he had screwed up with him, maybe he jumped too quickly, just like he had done with Emma and the house. All he wanted was for the boy to feel safe and at home with him, to feel like he was an equal part of this family. He knew Lily would be over the moon about the potential adoption, but he was more concerned about Henry. He didn't want the boy to think he was replacing his real father. He just wanted to be there for him, to love him and support him.

"Listen lad, I just meant it as a thought. You don't have to do anything you don't want to do. If you don't want me to adopt you, I won't. If you don't want to call me dad, you don't have to. You have just as much say in this as your mom and I do. But I want you to know; no matter what you choose, I will support you. I meant what I said Henry; I love you. I love your mom, and I love our family." He spoke, bending down so he could look Henry in the eyes.

"Thanks Killian." He responded.

"So what does that mean? Does it mean you are OK with me adopting you?" he asked, he didn't want to push, but he also wanted to know what the lad thought of the idea.

"Yes, I want us to be a family." He said.

"And what is your thought on calling me dad?" Killian asked.

"Don't push it." Henry smiled back at him. Killian knew he didn't mean it in a rude way, just in a joking way that boys joke around with their fathers.

Killian smiled and pulled the boy back in for another hug.

Later that night, after the celebrations of the day winded down, Emma and Killian snuck off for a walk on the beach. The stars were out in full force, the moon casting its glow on the water. They were hand in hand as they walked along the surf, the waves crashing along their feet. The water just warm enough from the late summer sky. It was the perfect night to end the perfect day.

"Thank you Killian." He heard her say, as she walked along the beach.

"For what?" he questioned.

"Everything. For believing in us, for coming back into my life, for filling this hole I had in my life. For loving Henry, for loving me. For making me that happiest person on Earth." She explained, turning so she was facing him.

"Love, you had done the same for me. When I left, I never thought that I would be happy again. I never thought I would get love back in my life. When Milah appeared, I thought I found happiness again, but when fate brought us together again, I realized I was never truly happy without you. You are my other half, you are my happy ending." He said, looking down into her emerald eyes.

She really had made everything better. She had completed his life, but also brought happiness into Lily's. He had never felt happier. She changed his life for the better. She even brought him closer with Lily. He loved that little girl more than words could describe, and now she would belong to them both. He was also gaining a son – one he had hoped would be his from the moment he met him would one day be his.

"So love, when do you think we should get married?" he questioned. He didn't know how long he would be able to wait – wanting her to be his wife immediately.

"Soon." Was all he heard her say before she raised up on her heels and kissed him, the perfect ending to the perfect day.


	21. Chapter 21

**KILLIAN'S POV**

The last ten months had been torture. Ten long months since he asked Emma to be his wife, since he asked her to be with him forever, since they decided to be a real family. However, a few days after their proposal Emma had suggested waiting for a while, to allow the adoption process to be finalized and Ruby and Graham to have the perfect wedding. At the time, he agreed, only wanting to make Emma happy. Yet as the months dragged on, he began to hate himself for waiting for so long.

He was standing at the alter in their backyard. The perfect setting for their wedding. It was late in the day - early June weather giving them the perfect backdrop for their nuptials. The ceremony was to start at six, right as the sun was beginning to set, casting the perfect glow upon the alter. Henry, as his best man, stood next to him. They had decided against the traditional bridal party, this wedding wasn't just about uniting two people in love, but two families becoming one. It also allowed their friends, without whom they'd never have met, to enjoy the day.

The music was beginning to play, a soft string of violins and accompanying piano. Their friend from high school, Archie, was officiating their wedding - and he walked down the aisle to the alter which overlooked the dock. The entire scene was perfect. They had hired sisters - Elsa and Anna - to plan the wedding. Killian spared no expense, wanting to give Emma her dream wedding. She may have said multiple times that all she needed was him and their family, but he knew she had dreamt of this day for a while, and she deserved to have everything. The duo had decorated the docks with flowers - creating a floating flower garden behind them. The backyard had been transformed. Their ship was docked, with lights strung up everywhere they could look.

Killian hadn't realized he was holding his breath until his daughter began to walk down the aisle. It had taken some time, but by December, Lily was officially their daughter. The paperwork was a nightmare, and Killian and Emma had to do some extra applications because they weren't official citizens yet, but in the end it all worked out. He remembered the morning they told Lily the adoption went through. They had originally decided to wait for Christmas - to wrap her adoption papers up in a box for her, giving her the best present; however, Emma was too excited and told her the following morning. Emma was already the perfect mother for Lily, and when it became official, he didn't think he could be any happier.

Lily was dressed in a light pink gown. She looked more and more like Emma every day. It didn't matter they didn't share blood; the bond between the two was evident in everything Lily did. She talked like Emma, moved like Emma, and had the same goofy grin Emma had when she was happy.

He glanced over at his son as Lily had made her way down the aisle. They were in matching suits - Emma refusing to have them wear tuxes, no matter how much Mary Margaret insisted. The deep navy blue of their suits accented them both perfectly. Emma had remarked during their fitting that while Lily may be looking more like her every day, Henry was looking more like Killian so much it was scary. Henry had picked up on some of Killian's mannerisms and starting dressing similar too. In fact, he remembered the morning when Henry actually requested a haircut, one that looked like his. The lad had still not called him dad, but they were getting closer each day.

"You ready?" the lad asked in a small whisper.

"Yes." he said, nodding his head with a huge smile appearing on his face, adding a wink. "Let plan C begin."

Of course he was ready. He had been ready for months, for years if he was being truthful. Plan C was this wedding - with their friends and family surrounding them. Plan B had happened a few months ago, one night where they couldn't wait any longer. And Plan A was marrying her a long, long time ago.

_ **EMMA's POV** _

_Ruby and Graham's wedding was the prefect representation of the couple. The wedding was eccentric, with Ruby wearing a red dress instead of a white. Emma remembered when they went dress shopping, and Mary Margaret almost had a heart attack when Ruby said she wouldn't be wearing white. But it made sense. Ruby was original, and red was her signature color. Seeing the dress on today, just made everything fall into place._

_The party after was a lively affair, going until the early hours of the morning. Thankfully Emma's mom and dad had taken the kids home around nine the previous night, allowing them some much needed alone time. Henry's adoption papers had come in the previous week, and they had spent almost every moment of the week with the kids, celebrating._

_They danced and drank to their hearts desires that night. Emma told herself to thank Ruby for having the party in a hotel. They didn't need to worry about driving home, and they were able to sneak off during the reception for a quick rendezvous in their suite. When they finally got back to their suite for good, it was almost five in the morning. The group had wanted to watch the sunrise over the water, but Mary Margaret was getting cranky, and Belle was falling asleep, so they all decided to turn in._

_They had rented the room until Monday morning, allowing themselves a little time on their own. They hadn't had true time alone since returning from the Outer Banks - wanting to spend all their time with their kids - making memories as a family. Emma had started to plan their wedding, but it was slow work and was frustrating. She was having second thoughts about waiting. Why should they have to wait to be a family? Why should they have to wait until Ruby and Graham got married? Why did they need to have a big party? The day was supposed to be about them - about them vowing to support and love on another for the rest of their lives._

"_Killian…" she whispered against his chest. They had slept in all day on Sunday, only waking to make love and eat. It was late Sunday night and she had been restless for a while._

"_Hmmm…." he responded back, keeping his eyes closed, but moving his hand down from above his head, to lace in her hair._

"_Marry me," she said, moving to look at him better, resting her chin on his chest, his hair tickling her._

"_That's the plan love," he said smiling, his eyes still closed._

"_I mean right now. I don't want to wait any longer. I can't wait to be your wife. I want to get married right now," she said._

_That got him to open his eyes. The blue irises darkening at her confession. His hand stilled in her hair, and she heard his breath catch. She surprised him, that's for sure. It had been her idea all along to wait, and of course he would do anything for her. As long as your happy love was all he ever said, supporting her in everything she did. However, after seeing Ruby and Graham and how happy they were, after spending the day as a family, dancing around the floor, introducing everyone to their children; Emma needed them to be married. She wanted Killian to be her husband. She wanted to be his wife._

"_Are you sure love?" he questioned._

"_Yes. More than anything. I want to be your wife Killian - I need to be your wife. I want you to be my husband. I am ready for us to begin our lives together, I don't want to wait any more," she confessed._

"_Then I will give you your heart's desire," he stated, pulling her up to him, smashing a searing kiss to her lips. The kiss was feverish, thanking her for making his dreams come true. She knew he wanted to marry her the moment she said yes, that he wanted her to be his wife as quickly as possible. He moved them, so she was flush on her back, and he was hovering above her. They had no clothes on, refusing to put them on all day. One hand slid up from her waist to grasp her breast, while the other drew nonsense patterns on her body._

_Her need for him rose quickly inside of her. Especially when she thought that they would be married, sooner rather than later. She pulled her closer to her, feeling his hardness above her, trailing along her slit. She could feel her wetness coating him. Her lips found his, tongue dancing on his._

_Not soon enough, was he pushing his way into her, and in the back of her mind, she was hoping that this would be the last time they would be having sex as fiancées, that tomorrow they would be married and doing this as husband and wife. He always filled her to the perfect spot. His rhythm always driving her mad. He took his time that night, making love to her slowly, passionately. He tried to keep his hold on her lips, but she was too soon panting in ecstasy. She felt his hands move down to where they met, flicking her sensitive nub, as he grind into her. He was bringing her to the edge; she was begging him to do anything and everything. She needed him more than she ever did before._

"_Please Killian, please." she moaned, her hands moving to his ass, and pulling him deeper inside of her. Her walls clenching around him. She didn't know how much more she could take, the bliss from their activities becoming too much to handle._

"_That's it love, feel it." he said, twirling his hips, and moving his hand a bit faster over her clit._

"_Let go for me love, fall." he growled, as he bent down to capture her lips one final time. Within a minute, she was falling, his name on her lips. She didn't scream it out, it was more like a sigh, one saying she was truly and deeply satisfied and sated. Killian fell not long after, a deep and glorious growl escaping his throat as he came inside of her, collapsing so that his face rested in her neck. They breathed each other in. He moved so they were still in each other's arms, but so he wasn't crushing her. She shivered when the cold air of the room hit her._

"_I meant what I said Killian." she said a little while later._

"_Well then Swan, in the morning we will go to the courthouse," he said, rather happily._

_The next morning, they did just that. It was her Monday off - since she had to work a long shift that night, but it was all worth it. Monday morning she went from being Emma Swan to being Emma Jones. She was finally Killian's wife, and he was finally her husband. The smile that he had on his face the rest of the day was the only present she would ever need. They made love once again, this time in their bed, and this time as husband and wife. And when he fell, his climax pulsing through him, the words that left his lips wasn't her name but I love you wife. Emma was never happier._

_They kept the secret of their elopement from everyone, but their lawyer. It was surprising that their spur of the moment elopement actually helped along Lily's adoption. It wasn't their plan to marry simply to move along the process, but it sure helped._

**KILLIAN'S POV**

Killian thought back to the day of their actual wedding, and the wedding march began to play. They were in a courthouse in Alexandria; Emma was wearing a green dress, one that fanned out around her body. He was in his favorite suit. They walked in as Killian Jones and Emma Swan, and walked out as husband and wife. He had said the traditional vows to her, promising to love and cherish her, to support and love her no matter what. This time, they would be saying their own vows.

They never told anyone about their elopement, but that never mattered to him. He was just happy with her being his wife. He woke every morning to her lying in their bed. He would wake her with a sweet kiss and a _Good morning wife_ and start their day. They would whisper the words to each other in passing, making smiles appear on each other's faces.

Since he proposed to Emma, his plan had been to marry her as soon as possible. It surprised him when Emma proposed Plan B. However, he would do anything for his Swan.

He looked up to their house, and his vision of a wife came walking into view. He was so nervous, but he didn't know why. They had been married for months now, nothing was going to change. But for some reason, he couldn't stop shaking. Tears welled up in his eyes. She was breathtaking. Her long blonde hair curled and flowed in the light breeze. She didn't wear a veil, insisting that she wanted an uninterrupted view of him. Her dress was magnificent.

It wasn't big, and it wasn't detailed, but it fit Emma's personality perfectly. The simplicity of the dress was everything, and the way it fit Emma was staggering. The plunge in the neckline made Killian suck in a breath. That dress was going to drive him crazy all night. The plunge stopped right beneath her breastbone. A large band accented her waist. The dress fell perfectly from there. Flowing perfectly in the breeze. She was simply a vision.

She carried a bouquet of sunflowers, her favorite. Her makeup light and natural. It was the smile she was wearing though that was the best part of the day. It held so much promise and love. Yes, they were already married, but today everyone would celebrate their love and revel in it. Today, he would promise in front of their friends and family to love and cherish her forever, to care for their children, and to love her deeply and truly.

His eyes never left her as she walked towards him. He missed Mary Margaret crying, hugging her new child Leo to her chest. Tears streaming down her face. David had his arm wrapped around her, a proud grin across his face. Emma's mom was next to the couple, her mom softy crying. Her father, dressed in his naval uniform, was as official as ever, walking his daughter down the aisle, but if Killian had look at him, he would have seen a sparkle in the man's eye. Graham and Ruby were grinning, Regina and Robin leaning into one another, Will and Belle holding hands, tears in Belle's eyes.

As Emma reached the alter, and he took her hand in his, he mouthed an _I love you Swan_ to her, to which she responded, a silent _I know_ and a wink. They turned to Archie and officially became husband and wife.

Their vows were short, but filled with love and devotion. Emma was asked to go first. He could see the tears in his wife's eyes as she spoke only to him.

"Killian, you know I am not good with talking about my feelings, but I will try to tell you how I feel, even though the words will not be enough. I never thought I would find love in my life after high school. I never thought I would be whole or truly happy again. I never in a thousand years thought I would get you back. Then you showed up, and changed my world for the better. You opened me up to happiness and joy. You brought light back into my life. You gave me something I never knew I needed - true love. My soul was incomplete without you, and now it is whole. Thank you for brining happiness into our family's life. Thank you for supporting and loving us, whole-heartedly. Thank you for being the best father for our son and daughter. Thank you for loving me. I promise to love you for the rest of my days, to support you in everything you do, to be your best friend, and the best mother to our kids. I love you with all my heart. You are my soul mate, and my true love." she said softly. Her words hit him like a ton of bricks, taking his breath away once again. Her words infiltrating his body, and settling his soul.

"Emma, from the moment I left, I knew I needed to get back to you. My life wasn't complete without you. I was an empty shell of a man, wondering the world hopelessly for so long. When you saved Lily's life, you also saved mine too. You breathed new life into me. You sent away the darkness and brought in the sun. You are my sun Emma. Every day that you spend with me is a miracle that I will cherish. Every moment that you are in my arms in a moment that I want to last forever. Forever will never be long enough for me to love you. You have given me everything I have ever wanted. You have given me my family - our family. Thank you for caring for us no matter the situation, for being my anchor to the world. Thank you for being the best mother to our two wonderful and amazing children. They may not be both of ours by blood- but they are ours in spirit and mind. I promise to show you each and every day just how much you mean to me and just how much your love is worth. I promise to never leave your side, to support you in everything you do. I love you with every inch of my soul, with every fiber of my being. You are the best part of me. I love you," he said. Tears were slowly falling down his face as he said his words to her. She was right in her first sentence of their vows - words would never be enough to describe their feelings for each other.

The night continued on in spectacular fashion. They backyard had a huge tent set up for the reception. Emma insisted on a buffet style dinner, allowing everyone to eat when they wanted. The dance floor was packed by the time ten o'clock rolled around. They had allowed the kids to stay up late that night. Emma had stayed the night with her parents they day before - taking Lily with her, while Henry and Killian stayed at the house. Emma had said that Lily slept in till noon, and Killian told her that Henry had slept in a bit longer. Both of them wanted their rest for the party. They didn't see each other the day of the wedding, but they did constantly text each other. It kept him grounded as he waited to the time to come. They also knew the kids would be with their grandparents that night - since they were leaving on their weeklong honeymoon the next day. Killian was whisking Emma away for a vacation on a Caribbean island.

He was dancing with his Swan, his beautiful wife, when the kids ran up to them.

"Mom, dad, come on, the fireworks are about to start." Lily yelled, pulling on Emma's hand, and stealing her away from him. She smiled back at him as their daughter led them out onto the grass.

"Come on dad." Henry said, holding out a hand for him. The look of surprise on his face was one the lad had seen multiple times that day. Earlier in the day, when they were getting dressed and ready, Killian presented Henry with a gift, thanking him for being his son and supporting his relationship with his mom. He got them season tickets for the Redskins - the local national football team, one Henry had been following since he was a young boy, since it was his grandfather's favorite team. It was as Killian was thanking Henry for letting him marry his mom that Henry released the bomb on him.

"_You mean again right?" Henry questioned. A confused look crossed Killian's face. "I know you and mom already got married. I heard you both talking a few months ago. She said she was glad to be your wife."_

"_Aye lad, I'm sorry we didn't tell you. We just couldn't wait any longer," he explained, sinking down to look the lad in the face._

"_When did it happen?" Henry asked, looking a little sad._

"_In October, right after Ruby's wedding." Killian said._

"_Alright!" Henry let out a hoot. Again, a look of pure confusion crossed Killian's face. Henry had a huge smile plastered across his face - when he realized Killian caught him, he dropped it to just a normal smile._

"_Lily and I had a bet, whoever was closet to when you all would get married wouldn't have to do chores for a month. We both knew you guys wouldn't make it to today without jumping the gun. I said by Thanksgiving you would be married. She thought New Years. Looks like I don't have chores for a month!" Henry said._

"_You're really OK with this?" Killian asked._

"_Of course. Now, let's get you to my mom." he said, smiling up at his father._

"Henry…" Killian started to say, but nothing would come out. The lad had just called him dad. It was something he was looking forward to since the moment he adopted the boy. _Seriously, could this day get any better_ he thought to himself.

"I love you son." was all he was able to get out, unable to truly put to words how he felt in that moment.

"I love you too dad. Now, let's go. I don't want to miss the fireworks." Henry added, quickly hugging Killian before pulling him to where the rest of his family stood.

**EMMA'S POV**

To say that the night was perfect was an understatement. She had been Killian's wife for a few months now, but nothing compared to the moment when she became his wife again, this time in front of their children. Sure, she sometimes regretted that they weren't there when they got married the first time, but she was glad with everything they had done.

"Over here mom!" Lily called, as she pulled her to the bench that was set up for them to watch the fireworks. Emma sat down and pulled the girl onto her lap. Sure, Lily wasn't a little girl anymore, but Emma still wanted to hold her close.

"I'm glad you still had this wedding. I would have been so upset if you cancelled it." Lily confessed, turning to look at Emma.

"What do you mean?" Emma questioned, cocking an eyebrow as she did.

"Well, we know you and dad already got married. Henry overheard you all talking one day, then I overheard you all talking one night after you thought we went to sleep. I am just glad that you still had the big wedding," she said.

"Oh Lily, I'm so sorry darling. We never meant to leave you out of it. Please don't be upset." Emma said, immediately apologizing for hurting the girl.

"It's OK mom. Promise. I just want you to be happy." Lily said, hugging her.

"I've never been happier." Emma whispered into her ear.

Killian and Henry arrived soon after Lily's confession. From the look on Killian's face, it seemed like Henry had told him they knew.

"Looks like the jig is up love, the wee ones know." He said, sitting down and pulling Henry into his side. Emma saw a flash in front of them - the wedding photographer taking a picture of the scene before them. Killian was sitting on the edge of the bench, his arm resting on the edge. Henry sandwiched between them, Emma holding Lily in her lap, while Killian's hand rubber her shoulder.

"It seems that way," she agreed, smiling down at the kids.

"Sorry mom. We heard you and dad talking, but we are really happy for you both. We love you guys." Henry said, Emma catching the term he used for Killian. Killian's eyes swelled up at the term, but he didn't say anything. Henry must have already called him that earlier, and it made Emma's heart swell. They were now truly a family. She leaned over and kissed her son's head. She couldn't be prouder of the young man he was becoming.

"So who won?" Lily asked.

"Won what?" Emma questioned.

"They bet on when we eloped Swan. Henry said before Thanksgiving, and Lily said before New Years. Both were right, but sorry Lily, Henry was closer. We got married right after Ruby's wedding." Killian said, moving his hand from her to Lily's shoulder where he gave it a light squeeze. "Don't worry little love, you'll win the next one."

"Are you always gonna call mom Swan? She is a Jones now." Henry questioned.

"Aye lad, she will always be my Swan. She is beautiful and graceful, and she had led me to our family. She will always be my Swan," he said, looking at Emma, with nothing but love in his eyes. With that look she started to cry again, a small tear falling down her face. She was truly happy.

"Can we change my name to Jones too?" Henry asked. When they adopted him, they decided to leave his name as Swan, until they were married, and then they would let him decide if he wanted to change it. He initially wanted to keep the name, but told them he would think about it later.

"Aye son, whatever you want." Killian said, leaning down to place a kiss on Henry's head.

The countdown was beginning for the fireworks. It was something Killian demanded they have at the party. The fireworks held special meaning to him now. It represented their family.

As the countdown neared the end - with ten seconds remaining before the show started - Emma decided now was the time to tell everyone her big confession.

"I have a surprise for all of you, it's a wedding present of sorts." Emma said, getting her little family to turn and look at her. Killian's eyebrow rose in question, Henry's eyes wide, and Lily's smile big - waiting for Emma to give them their present. Right as the countdown hit one, Emma gave them what they all had been waiting for.

"I'm pregnant," she said. The fireworks went off around them, lighting up the night sky. For the final time that night, Killian's look of surprise crossed his face, but this time joy quickly replaced the look. Henry's eyes were still huge, but happiness filled them. Lily immediately pulled herself from Emma's lap, to sit next to her on the other side, pulling her into a hug. Lily and Henry quickly recovered and started telling Emma how happy they were, already betting on what the baby would be, when it would be born, what the name would be, and who it would look more like. Killian though, was frozen in his place.

"Killian, are you all right?" Emma said, reaching an arm out to rest on his leg.

"Alright? Swan, you have made me that happiest man on Earth. First, you take me back into your life, and then you allow me a relationship with not just you, but our boy. Then, you take Lily in as your own. You agree to marry me, elope with me, and then allow me and our family to have this amazing wedding celebrating our love. And on this night, after our son calls me dad, you tell me I'm going to be a parent again. My love, you are bloody amazing." He said, standing up now, holding his hand out to her. She could see it in his eyes, he wanted to hold her, and she complied.

"I love you Killian," she whispered, as she kissed him before

"I love you too," he said, holding her in his arms as the fireworks shot off above them.


End file.
